Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Artful Dodgers

To help scare up money for his reelection efforts, Barack Obama continues to offer $3 raffle tickets to win a chance to eat with him, eat with him and George Clooney, eat with him and Michelle, share cocktails with him and Sarah Jessica Parker, take an Oval Office "spots and stains" tour with him and Bill Clinton, and other appallingly liberal dream dates.

But there is ONE lotto ticket
Hope n' Change would happily buy - and that's the one which would give us a front row seat to Thursday's unbelievably uncomfortable meeting between Barack Obama and former President George W. Bush, who is coming to the Whitehouse for the unveiling of his official portrait.

For the past four years, Barack Obama has
disparaged, mocked, and blamed George W. Bush for everything which is wrong with our country - with a special emphasis on those things which have gotten a helluva lot worse under Mr. Obama himself. Just last week, the world's most powerful golfer accused Bush of creating sneaky tax breaks for the "wealthiest Americans," savaging the education system, and stealing healthcare from the elderly...all of which is a pretty good trick for a guy who seems to be spending most of his time working with wounded veterans.

Meanwhile, the eternally classy George W. Bush has shared virtually no public criticisms of the scurrilous little anti-American Marxist crapweasel who is using the Whitehouse as a litterbox - though we're thinking that Bush's powerfully gritting teeth should be looked at as a potential source of renewable energy.

All of which means that the Secret Service had better be wearing parkas on Thursday, because things are going to be absolutely
icy in the Whitehouse when the two presidents pose near Mr. Bush's new portrait (a portrait which Mr. Obama fought vehemently against because it is "oil-based").

Of course, an official portrait of Barack Barry Hussein Soetoro Obama will eventually go on display in the Whitehouse, too - though it's expected that it will take a very,
very long time to paint.

Because the official Obama portrait will be "paint-by-the-numbers" and there are already
16 trillion empty spaces which need to be filled in.

The Official Portrait of President George W. Bush


Shayne said...

Well played,sir!

Ricko from Georgia said...

"Little Anti-American Crap Weasel"? I love it...the GOP needs that bumper sticker put forth now!

Ricko-Hiawassee, Ga.

TrickyRicky said...

My wife and I were eating our Thansgiving dinner in a local restaurant soon after the 2008 election. We overheard a conversation at the adjoining table in which the middle aged father said "at least we will have dignity back in the White House".....Heh

Colby said...

I would like to submit my vote. I think the White House BO portrait should be Stilton's Hope'n'Change watch graphic.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

I have no reason to want to see any more of GW, but I seriously want Odumbo excised like a rotten tooth. But we must never forget, lest we repeat, the effects of our national gullibility and ignorance of 2008. There is no logical reason Turdboy should even be in this race, but to my horror he is. He could even win it. May God have mercy on us. Barry won't.

CenTexTim said...

Jarlsberg swings ... he connects ... it's outta the park!

I don't agree with all of GWB's policies, nor with those of his father, but I will give them (and their wives) credit for behaving with dignity and class.

As I tell my students, "compare and contrast."

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Shayne- When cards like these are dealt to you, it's hard not to play well.

@Ricko from Georgia- It lacks the conciseness of SCOAMF, but has its own musicality - don't you think?

@TrickyRicky- Wow. I can't conceive of any reason people would expect dignity out of Obama, even back in 2008. I'm unaware that he's ever comported himself with dignity a single day in his life.

@Colby- That would be sweet. I'll have to look into the committee that takes submissions so that I can get the design in for review ASAP.

@Angry Hoosier Dad- "Excised like a rotten tooth" would be another worthwhile bumpersticker for this campaign. And while I certainly have problems with some of the things Bush did as president, I must say it's a pleasure seeing him these days - especially because it's so frequently in the context of him taking part in multi-day events with wounded vets and amputees. The man clearly loves and respects the troops in a way Obama would (and does) sneer at.

@CenTexTim- "Behaving with dignity and class." I just want to savor the thought of that for a moment, and allow myself to dream that we could be seeing it again as early as next year. Mmm-mmm-mmm.

red sweater said...

You know, I get your posts in an RSS reader, and usually move on to the next after reading the cartoon...but if you're always killing it in the prose like today, I've really been missing out. I'll be reading the whole posts in the future. :)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@red sweater- Glad you enjoyed the commentary today, and I hope you'll take a look at some of the other posts. I'm first and foremost a writer - and I try hard to make my little editorials funny and informative (complete with links). So if you've been missing them, you've been missing out on more than half the fun!

Cookie said...

I wish we could raffle off obama to a zoo somewhere far away. He and we would be much better off if he were safely behind bars with other animals.

Colby said...

How dare anybody imply that Leisure Suit Barry doesn't have class!? I mean, is there any other president that can brag about being f**ked up for their entire last two years of high school? What other president has called our military personnel "corpse" men? How many of those other losers have sued states for trying to enforce federal laws and sold guns to drug cartels? I mean, this guy is the epitome of class. If you look in the dictionary under the word class, you will see a picture of BO.

Wait! I just looked and must admit I'm wrong. You see his picture under a word that RHYMES with class.

Prediction... George and Laura WILL act with class. BO will probably slink off like he did to Prime Minister Netanyahu. Or he'll just blow it off and go golfing.

Mike Porter said...

How about a truly 'ultimate' presidential portrait for the truly 'ultimate' president? Hot tar with a healthy sprinkling of feathers, and the current administration is the canvas.

Bob Mack said...

Great cartoon, Stilt. If asked, I'd be happy to donate my Obama portrait to the gov't. I do think it captures the essence of the man (which, as the late, great Al Capp was fond of saying, is "skonk essence"):

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Bob- Great portrait! I don't think just ONE picture of Obama will suffice; there should be an entire rogue's gallery of portraits and the warning "Lest We Forget" on a plaque.

Readers- There's a lot of good stuff appearing regularly on Bob's site "Crockett Lives," which you can find by clicking on the link in the "Great Blogs" section in the left sidebar!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike Porter- As appealing as the concept sounds, I'm afraid that "hot tar" might violate the strict "no violence" rule here if I were to endorse it. I've got no problem with tepid molasses, though!

Anonymous said...



PRY said...

Great stuff!! I guess since obama is only half black, he would only be half 'hung'?

Ain't it gettin crazy now!!! I feel the evils are on the way out! If they're not, I may be!!!

CenTexTim said...

Stilton, you were prescient. obama's remarks during the unveiling were straight from his campaign speeches. He still blames Bush:

"The months before I took the oath of office were a chaotic time. We knew our economy was in trouble, our fellow Americans were in pain, but we wouldn’t know until later just how breathtaking the financial crisis had been."

He plays up his role in bin Laden's execution, while giving grudging credit to GWB:

"And last year, when we delivered justice to Osama bin Laden, I made it clear that our success was due to many people in many organizations working together over many years — across two administrations."

Bush, for his part, slipped in a few zingers of his own:

"I am pleased that my portrait brings an interesting symmetry to the White House collection. It now starts and ends with a George W."

"When the British burned the White House ... in 1814, Dolley Madison famously saved this portrait of the first George W. Now, Michelle, if anything happens... Laughter and applause.) I am also pleased, Mr. President, that when you are wandering these halls as you wrestle with tough decisions, you will now be able to gaze at this portrait and ask, what would George do?

It's instructive to take about 8 minutes and watch the video (link).

Stan da Man said...

What would George do? Compete w/ Ted the Head to see who could buy the most votes... Not real helpful, guy...

Anonymous said...

Congrats on being BigFurHat's first link!


Corona said...

Big Fur Hat put a gun to my head and forced me to go to this site. And he was right to do that. :) Great site!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@PRY- I wish you hadn't put the image of "half-hung" in my mind. I'm now imagining Barry dropping trow to reveal the tiny side-by-side heads of Rosie Greer and Ray Milland.

@CenTexTim- I loved Bush's comments at the unveiling.

@Stan da Man- Sadly, that was too often the case.

@Anonymous- I'm happy to be linked with Big Fur Hat's site. He consistently produces hilarious, scathing conservative humor. What's not to like?

@Corona- Hopefully you'll return on a regular basis even when not at gunpoint!