Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Throw On Another Stake

Like all of us, Barack "Slow Jammin' da News" Obama is concerned about the lack of seriousness and substance in today's news media, when there are so many important, complex, and critical issues the nation must consider.

Which is why he gave a speech at the all-female Barnard College, telling the liberalettes in the audience that they shouldn't believe all the media reports about ugly politics, gridlocked legislators, job losses, and other entirely-accurate updates on his administration.

"Every day," he moaned, "you receive a steady stream of sensationalism and scandal."

Fortunately, Mr. Obama himself immediately went into action to raise the bar on journalistic substance and integrity by releasing a campaign attack ad which attacked Mitt Romney as being "like a vampire." And not the kind that glitters in the sunlight and makes all the teen girls swoon. NOoooo, Romney is the kind of vampire who sweeps into hardworking little towns, throws back his cape, and sucks the blood out of Walmart shoppers and leaves their bodies as dried, dessicated little shells on their own windowsills.

And did we mention that he laughs "Nyah-ha-ha!" while doing it?

Anyway, that's the kind of "just the facts, ma'am" journalism that Barack Obama feels our nation needs to return to. With real reporters and real editors asking the tough questions on real news shows.

You know, like the serious questions about Kim Kardashian and sex fantasies that Obama just went on "The View" to answer...while tapdancing through his not-quite-convincing "support" of gay marriage. "Just between us girls," he might well have said, he doesn't "blame" Joe Biden for supporting gay marriage (huh?), but says that Joe "got out ahead of his skis a bit" (huh?), and that his policy regarding repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act is exactly the same as that of Mitt Romney, with the exception that the president feels vaguely bad about it.

Frankly, Hope n' Change isn't quite ready to declare Obama a media vampire... but we will say that whenever he gets in front of a camera...boy, does that guy suck.

Barack Obama visits "The View" to discuss the need for seriousness in the news.


Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Anywhere away from politics, this nasty little fecal smear is relegated to butt-kissing middle-management, sucking up to his boss and hoping nobody notices how little he knows about anything. He doesn't just suck, Stilton, he sucks with a slurping noise. Mittens may not be much better, but for now that's enough.

Colby said...

From Wikipedia:

Symptoms of Narcissistic personality disorder include, but are not limited to:
• Reacts to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation
• May take advantage of others to reach their own goal
• Tends to exaggerate their own importance, achievements, and talents
• Imagines unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance
• Requires constant attention and positive reinforcement from others
• Easily becomes jealous
• Lacks empathy and disregards the feelings of others
• Obsessed with oneself
• Mainly pursues selfish goals
• Trouble keeping healthy relationships
• Is easily hurt and rejected
• Sets unrealistic goals
• Wants "the best" of everything
• Appears as tough-minded or unemotional

Sound familiar? Let's deal him the final insult in November.

Suzy said...

Since when have Presidents or Presidential candidates lowered themselves to going on "The View", anyway, as if any of those cackling hens matter? I didn't like it when Herman Cain went on there, and I think its typical, but ridiculous, that Obama did.

And funny....Obama didn't complain about the sensationalism of the media when Zimmerman was lied about for being white and racist, which he is neither....

My Dog Brewski said...

@ Colby:
Barry has created his own class of mental disorder. I call it Islamohomonarcissismatism. And big dittos on your final thought.

graylady said...

Why did Obama go on The View? To get his strokes from those liberal idiots and to try to improve his standing with women (FAIL).
Why is The View on anyway? Those women are about as in touch with the real world as an 85 year old with advanced Alzheimer's.

CenTexTim said...

Stilt, you didn't need to add the glasses and feather boa to barry. He looks effeminate enough as-is to be just one of the girls.

@Suzy and @graylady - Unfortunately, the votes of The View's hosts and audience count as much as ours, regardless of their tenuous hold on reality.

John the Econ said...

I really have to wonder how receptive today's college kids are to Obama this time around. His completely hypothetical "Hope & Change" shtick was a very easy sell in 2008 when almost everything about who he was and how he'd lead was left entirely to the imagination. But now they've seen 4 years of Obama reality, and they know that instead of after graduation walking into a wonderful world of easy high-paying community organizer and green jobs with free health care and rainbow-farting unicorns, they face a better than 50% chance of un-or-underemployment and an indefinite future of living in their parent's basement.

Vampires? Whatever happened to the that "civility" they say is missing from public discourse?

There's no question about it; Romney has "created or saved" far more jobs than the Obama & the Democrats. And no single person can possible create the number of jobs they've destroyed in the last decade.

If there's any "vampire" in today's political scene, it's Washington sucking the life out of what's left of free America, which I fear is the real agenda.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Angry Hoosier Dad- Well said. Politics and academia are the ONLY two arenas in which Obama's questionable talents would actually allow him to rise very high.

@Colby- I appreciate the effort in listing all of the (very on-target) symptoms for narcissim, but if you'd only looked in Webster's you'd see Obama's picture next to the word.

@Suzy- Obama said that he gave heavy consideration to debuting his (highly questionable) support of gay marriage ON "The View." Think of that: an allegedly historic announcement, important to all American people, and he thought the proper forum was a cackling liberal hen party.

The only thing I have to disagree with you on is that Obama "lowered" himself by appearing on that show. He had no dignity left to lose, nor will the presidency itself be worthy of dignity or respect until Obama is out of office.

@My Dog Brewski- The main sympton of an Islamohomonarcissist is that while he's got his forehead on the prayer rug, he wishes he had a lusty identical twin servicing him from behind. (I didn't write that out loud, did I?)

@graylady- Sadly, Obama has plenty of reasons to go on The View: millions of idiot viewers with votes.

@CenTexTim- The glasses and boa were, admittedly, gilding a lily.

@John the Econ- I, too, will be interested in how young voters respond to Obama this time around. It seems like he keeps going to liberal colleges to talk - no doubt because he can still fool kids before they get out into what used to be called "the job market."

And as you say, the real vampires are in Washington doing business as usual: the undead feeding greedily off the unborn.

If I were Stephen King, I'd be turning this horror story into a book as quickly as I could type.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

@ Stilton:
I understand Stephen King is a hard-core Obama fluffer, so expect his monsters to all be Republicans.

Pete (Detroit) said...

John, in re 'vampires in DC' - something NONE of the 'bigger is better' gov't types like to talk about - every $ that goes to DC is $ that is NOT spent in the economy.

Stilt - was trying to come up w/ something clever to add, "Gelding the Lily" was the best I could do, and Jesse Jackson beat me to that by about 3 years...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Angry Hoosier Dad- You're right about King's politics; he recently wrote a piece about the rich not paying their fair share. You'd think that the guy who wrote "The Dead Zone" would have a little more insight into politicians who are more dangerous than they appear.

@Pete(Detroit)- Not only that, but every dollar spent by Washington first has to be taken OUT from the economy (in the form of taxes).

Colby said...

Well, to be fair, I heard that BO intended to go on a more sophisticated TV show, but the role of Patrick on Spongebob was already taken. Does anybody actually watch The View and admit it? I mean, ALL liberal women have jobs, don't they? You know, not like losers like Ann Romney, who sit around the house all day eating bon-bons and counting thier money.

Stan da Man said...

Colby, you forget the students. Sandra Fluke has to have SOME thing to do between guys...

PRY said...

Great stuff today, folks!! Kindred spirits all here!
He has really driven a wedge between himself and many many black folks,(and that is just in the PAST WEEK!) and far as I can tell, most college kids go to hear him mostly as a lark. Lotta women have lost their love for the O; yeh, he seems to be in a bit of trouble so we can expect the lies and distractions to start ramping up steadily as we head to November!

Matt said...

The whole got out ahead of his skis thing is a reference to skiing, where if you are too forward leaning, you risk losing your balance/control and falling on your ass(appropriate with their choice of party mascot.)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby- I know that a lot of women watch The View, but personally I'd rather have the skin flayed from my body. But it IS interesting to note that a large percentage of their viewership must be liberal women who aren't at outside jobs OR tending their children at that time of day.

@Stan da Man- I imagine the only thing Sandra Fluke does between guys is check the mailbox to see if her food stamps have arrived.

@PRY- It's interesting; the more Obama tries to win votes from one group, the more he risks alienating other groups. I hope his little hate-fest disintegrates entirely.

@Matt- I understood the skiing reference, but said "huh?" owing to the fact that if Obama really supports gay marriage, why would he even bring up the possibility that he would "blame" Biden, or accuse him of getting ahead of himself and/or saying something awkward and embarrassing? A gay acquaintance of mine asked how people would feel if the topic was black & white intermarriage instead of gay marriage. Wouldn't they have found these statements by Obama to be tacitly disapproving of Biden's beliefs?

But as I said in the commentary, Obama isn't actually doing anything to support gay marriage. He's only giving it lip service to get their donations.

Anonymous said...

Looks like a pimp with his merchandise.

Coon Tasty said...

@John the Econ - College students are still as ardently stupid as they were in 2008. - My youngest brother attends Bradley University, Peoria, and the thing he says are a direct reflection of the culture of that place: Democrats Good, Republicans Evil.

One must keep in mind that college students are still children, usually with zero life experience.

Stan da Man said...

Stilt - Gay Marriage? LIP service?
Ba-dum ching!

Chuck said...

@Coon Tasty - me thinks you are being a little too general in your assessment of College Students. My oldest son goes to Georgia tech and not only is he already smart enough and mature enough to embrace conservatism, so are most of his friends.

As to the topic at hand, this is going to be a very ugly campaign. Øbama can’t run on his record, so all he can do is hope to distract, divide and conquer. Making a fool of himself on TV is so beneath the Office he holds. The damage he has done to the country and to the Office of President will take years to correct, assuming he loses in November. If he isn’t defeated … well we’ll be hearing the fat-lady sing, I suspect. Øbama has managed to change the image of POTUS to POtuS … and you can drop the “tu”.

John the Econ said...

@Coon Tasty, @Chuck is right; there is little doubt that colleges remain full of non-thinkers; those who blindly accept the dogma dished out by their intellectual leaders. But I assure you, they are not the overwhelming majority. I meet bright kids all the time who are the antithesis of the "Obama drone" or "Occupy" deadbeats. They believe in the same things we do here. Not only that, but daily assaults on their beliefs have only made them stronger and more resistant to the Progressive intellectual malaise that is modern liberalism.

And again, even many of those kids who did not develop a total immunity to the disease, those with any ability to think for themselves see the hypocrisy of their leaders and are beginning to realize that the empty promises of the liberal intellectuals represent a dismal future for them. Very few people go to the trouble of going to college because they want less of a future than their parents had.

Sparky said...

I had to stop laughing long enough to comment. Too bad the joke's on us, 'eh?!

BO's getting just like Joeyboy with the notable 'gems' that spew daily from their underbellies. Oh well, just like any nightmare, they do eventually end. This Obamanation will eventually meet his end and America can truly move Forward.

Colby said...

A pimp with his merchandise! Harf!

This pimp must cater to blind and deaf clients (with the exception of Elisabeth Hasselbeck). Imagine getting drunk, hiring a hooker, and waking up next to a naked Baba Wawa or Joyless Behar! Gaaak!

Interesting coincidence, though... Sherri Shepherd plays Lula the Ho in the movie One for the Money.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- I enjoyed all the comments above, but am juggling too many chainsaws to join in the conversation at the moment. Great stuff, though!