When the latest "unexpectedly" catastrophic employment numbers were released last week, Barack Obama had to struggle to come up with someone to blame, since George W. Bush was actually in Washington at the time and could kick his ass if he played the usual "Bush's fault" card.
But the ever-eloquent Obama was undaunted, and said that the unemployment rate had risen because of....clouds, headwinds, and shadows.
Clouds, headwinds, and shadows?! What?! Seriously, it sounds like someone slipped a copy of Harry Potter into the teleprompter, because Obama is apparently blaming our nation's disastrously high unemployment on escaped Dementors from Azkaban!
Granted, J. K. Obama was referring to concerns about the debt crisis in Europe - but he failed to make a compelling case that domestic employers aren't hiring new cesspool cleaners because they're wringing their hands over Greece's underfunded pension plans.
Wouldn't it make more sense to think that potential employers are actually worried about Obama's debt crisis? You know, the one they're expected to pay for? Or perhaps they're feeling a bit nervous over not knowing their tax rates for next year? Or just maybe they're reluctant to hire anyone and be stuck with either an unaffordable bill for Obamacare or a fine?
Nope. The problem is clouds, headwinds and shadows!
Still, Obama's bizarre non-explanation did some good by causing the stock market to drop like a Flying Wallenda hitting a banana peel, thereby punishing a lot of the stinking millionaires and billionaires and jillionaires in the evil 1%.
Of course, that same nosedive ripped a lot more money out of pension plans for the other 99%, but as the president likes to say, "you can't make an omelet without breaking capitalism."
Happily, Barack Obama isn't going to just accept rising unemployment, and is bravely fighting back with an increased number of tough, take-no-prisoners campaign fundraisers (including six he held the same day the unemployment numbers were released, since he had nothing else to do back at the oval office).
Oh sure, it might seem like mingling with wealthy liberal donors all over the country won't do a damn thing to help save the nation's unemployed from the "clouds, headwinds, and shadows." But appearances can be deceiving...
According to Whitehouse Spokes-elf Jay Carney, Obama is also looking for horcruxes.
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30 comments:
Now that's some horse scents!
Damn...just when I was getting a handle on "Arab Spring" being the culprit. At least I could put a face to Arab Spring. What kind of face do I put to "clouds, shadows and headwinds"? A more fitting Harry Potter reference, to me, is to only address Odumbo as "he who must not be named" after November.
Nah - I call him He Whose Voice Is Intolerable And Whose Polices Are Worse. It's getting to the point that my stomach clenches at the sound of his or his wookiee's voice.
But, to his credit, I'm sure the euro-crisis is playing a teensie-weensie, ultra minuscule part in the current US employment landscape. I credit him with superman-like powers of vision to be able to see it without a scanning electron microscope - to put it in terms of that popularly overused statistical error: the euro crisis is the 1%. This administration's policies are the 99%...
We need a time turner to rid ourselves of the filthy mudbloods!
Steve Burri, That's a real knee slapper!
It reminds me of the Wizard of Oz, "Lions, and Tigers and Bears Oh, my!"
However, there is no Yellow Brick road for the US and the man behind the curtian is a fake.
I am sensing a subtle shift here. Obama has pretty much lived and breathed the last 4 years that anything having to do with the economy before & during Obama's administration has been entirely Bush's fault. As if any one person can really control the economy. Now, we are going to assign blame to an external force beyond the control of a mortal human being. "We can't hold President Obama responsible for the economy! It's much more complicated than that!" Never mind that some people remember that at one time Obama was constantly making the point that one man (i.e., Bush)can control the economy, now it is time to convince the ones that count (the ones that will vote for Obama) that it's all these tailwinds and clouds causing our current mess.
Imagine if the conversation doesn't have to be about who can best provide the leadership to lead us away from this suck-ass economy - Obama can natter about hope & change & calm & clear skies, blah-blah-blah, good times to come, etc., etc.
@ alan markus:
Your reference to calm and clear skies reminds me that, among my skydiving brethren, we wish one another "blue skies" because clouds, shadows and excessive headwinds are things to be avoided, but accepted and not blamed for our troubles.
Note: the following is personal stuff, so ignore if you wish.
Coincidentally, I made my first jump of the year yesterday; a hop n' pop from about 5.5K. Temperature, skies and winds all perfect. Landing...perfect (yay!!) After last year's sucky and painful outcomes I was dreading this. This year I switched DZ's and came back to my former DZ with a huge landing area and plenty of room to get out of trouble. Fortunately, Providence smiled on me and I landed upright (always a plus when you don't embarrass yourself by going ass over teakettle in front of the newbies) about 100 feet from the hangar. Can I keep it going? Hope so. I'm looking forward to joining SOS (Skydivers over Sixty) in a few years if I can stay healthy. God willing.
Give obama some credit. He does have a plan to revive the economy. From a press conference after one of his six count 'em six fundraisers last Friday:
"Maybe somebody'll be replacing some... uhm... thingamajig for their... furnace. They been putting that off, but if they got that extra money... they might just go out there and buy that thing..."
(Quote and video from here.)
@Steve Burri- Yer durn tootin'.
@Angry Hoosier Dad- I'm thinking "He Who Must Not Be Reelected" might work. Or perhaps "The Boy Who Lived It Up."
@Emmentaler- If the business community IS concerned about the Euro debt situation (and they should be), Obama didn't exactly calm them by using the G8 to suggest the answer to Europe's woes is to borrow and spend more. There is no limit to how much this moron does not get it.
@Colby- "Mudbloods" isn't considered politically correct. They prefer to be called Mugglo-Americans.
@Anonymous- Exactly. "clouds, headwinds, and shadows," "lions, tigers, and bears," "smoke and mirrors." Obama has seized on the Fierce Urgency of Now to say... well... nothing of substance at all.
@Alan Markus- It also is problematic for Obama to run around the country asking to be reelected while simultaneously claiming that Bush is responsible for everything that's happened in his first term, so he hasn't really been at bat yet. Keep in mind, the experts told us that the recession ended in early 2009- so where's the freakin' recovery, Mr. Obama? And the answer is there hasn't been much of one, owing directly to the policies of this president. Are things somewhat better than they were at their worst? Yes. Are they better than they would have been if Obama had taken no action whatsoever? Highly doubtful. Obama has been actively destroying jobs...and using inconceivable sums of our tax money (and our descendants' tax money) to do it.
@alan markus- Talk about a metaphor waiting to happen! Here we are talking about clouds and headwinds, and you're talking about how to show some courage, take a leap, and come to a soft, safe landing after a long fall. It's time all of us make sure that Obama's not packing our chutes.
@CenTexTim- Oh my stars and garters (sorry to use such harsh language)! I just looked at the clip you linked to, with Barry offering people $3000 each for their votes, with which they can stimulate the economy by buying thingamajigs. This guy has no more idea how the economy works than a goldfish does.
@ Stilton:
Given rumors about Obama's past personal peculiarities, I don't think I want to consider him "packing" anything except his bags to move back to Chicago.
Of course, what Obama failed to include was that the clouds, headwinds, and shadows are almost exclusively cast from Washington; The clouds are what business sees over them for the foreseeable future. The headwinds are regulations that have nothing to do with their intended purpose. In the shadows are the Marxists, working diligently to destroy what made America great.
Yes, Voldemort is alive.
And this "Obama hasn't been at bat yet" meme is pathetic. True, Obama isn't exclusively responsible for the state of America in 2012. But he was a voting member of a Democratic-controlled Congress that took control after 2006. In the first two years of his administration, he got everything he asked for with the exception of "Cap & Trade" and "card check". Is anyone going to stand up and argue that had "Cap & Trade" and "card check" passed, we'd be better off today?
The Democrats have managed to turn most of our "cyclical unemployment" into "structural unemployment". "Cyclical unemployment" is the unemployment that naturally occurs as the economy cycles between boom and bust modes. "Structural unemployment" is unemployment that is a result of government intervention in the economy, be it by taxation, regulations, or just paying people not to work. For example, most of Europe's unemployment is "structural" as a result of a highly regulated labor environment and generous welfare states.
Once again, it's an example of the success of the Obama Administration in "fundamentally transforming America" to be more like the social democracies of Europe. This is the real "change" you voted for. Welcome to the "new normal".
Actually, I'd prefer he packed his bags for Kenya in January 2013, and the Secret Service, in pure Obummer style, "outsourced" the job of protecting him for life to locals.
@My Dog Brewski- Well there's some imagery I didn't need over my morning coffee...
@John the Econ- As usual, you provide greater depth, detail, and eloquence to these economic matters than I can muster. I particularly focus on your description of "structured unemployment" because it so perfectly describes a phenomenon I didn't have a term for. It seems like Obama has broken the natural order of rehiring and recovery, and instead instituted a vision of unemployment as a new entitlement to be funded by others.
@Doc - N. Nevada- Wherever Obama goes, I just hope he stays there.
And let's not forget that before the lousy 69,000 jobs created in May, April's 115,000 suddenly was recalculated to be 77,000. 150,000 new jobs are needed just to keep up with those entering the work force. And that number obviously doesn't knock down the number of those counted in the unemployment rate and those millions not counted at all since they have given up looking for work or are under employed. I have heard too many stories of skilled workers not being able to find a job. God only knows the plight of those without any skills.
Øbama DOES get it. That’s the problem. He knows exactly what he’s doing … destroying America. If he were just clueless or stupid or incompetent, at least one thing he has done would have actually worked and been good for the country … law of averages. I can’t think of one! The left likes to point to his “accomplishments” which sum up to Øbamacare and a dead bin Laden. Well, if Øbamacare is an accomplishment, then so was the Titanic’s maiden voyage! And bin Laden being taken out happened in spite of Øbama, not because of him.
@amr- The jobs numbers are seemingly always revised down (which is barely reported). Sometimes way down. And in my personal circle, hearing of someone getting a job is about as frequent (and enthusiastically received) as hearing that someone got a winning lottery ticket.
@Chuck- I couldn't agree more. The destruction is deliberate. And Obama counseled the G8 to "borrow and spend" in order to keep the European crisis from tarnishing his own reelection bid. This sonofagun would take the whole world down if he thought it to be in his own self-interest.
Anon...you beat me to the Wizard of Oz thing. haha.
Clouds, headwinds, & shadows? Sounds as if the Big Red One has hired the inimitable Bernie Quigley to write his words for him; the same Mr. Q who excused the prevarications of Cherokee maid Warren this way:
"Elizabeth Warren might be excused for wanting to be Native American. She can claim an old American soul, going back generations in Oklahoma. In the heartland it is almost universal for those who have been there for a few generations to claim Indian blood; that is, to wish it were there even if it isn’t. It is not so much a lie as it is the acculturation of personal and regional American myth."
Only idiots and Democrats can get away with penning that kind of obtuse blather.
I am really enjoying the bad news dropping all over the obama camp like endangered pigeon poop! I just hope more and more people actually begin to lose "hope" in his "change"!
@Suzy- Seriously, as ridiculous as Obama's statements are, "There's No Place Like Home" wouldn't be a bad campaign slogan for him.
@Bob Mack- As a writer myself, I appreciate folks who have respect for language - but nothing except disdain for people who confuse words with reality (especially when they do so deliberately because they don't much like reality).
@PRY- I don't wish bad news on our country, but there's plenty of it out there. The difference that I think I see is that some of it is actually starting to stick to Obama. He can't simultaneously claim that presidents have no control over the economy AND claim that he saved us from some fictitious financial crash worse than the Great Depression. Either you're a playa or you're not.
I hope and pray that people are actually going to start looking at Obama's wretched record and holding him accountable for it.
C'mon! Give the guy some credit! It is clear he actually read such a conservative tome as Atlas Shrugged! Unfortunately, though, the only thing he learned from it is the oft-repeated phrase: "no-one can blame me!"...
It was aptly put forth (by Krauthammer, I think) that Romney should point out that Bush started the spending spree that Øbama so ably magnified, multiplied, and perpetuated. Then, as with Bush's anti-terrorist policies, Romney can point out that Øbama has simply been continuing Bush's fiscal policies, rendering any plan of The Øne once again running under that worthless saw that he's the "anti-Bush candidate" moot. The majority of conservatives would agree that he has been doing just this as well...
amr,
There is limited work for the unskilled out there. Just look at all three branches of the federal government, and the governments of many states such as New York or California. Not to mention NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, NPR, PBS....
@Emmentaler Limburger, if he did indeed read Atlas Shrugged, it was mainly for use as a manual as to how to effectively disassemble the American economy.
@Emmentaler- I agree that it would be wise for Romney to point out that in many policy areas, Obama has been Bush on steroids. The Bamster is currently running around the country talking about not returning to the "failed policies of the past." Romney needs to point out that it would be impossible to return to those policies, because under Obama they've never gone away and have, in fact, been amplified.
@Colby- Nice!
@John the Econ- I think Obama read Alinsky Shrugged. It's a lot like Atlas Shrugged, only everyone ends up better off when the innovators and job creators are gone.
@ Bob Mack -- "idiots and Democrats" is redundant, neh?
@ Amr -- isn't it fascinating that when Dems are out of office they end up at the alfanets?
@ Stilton -- Americans will go over O's record, the Dems are almost begging us to:
http://www.commentarymagazine.com/2012/06/04/obama-makes-it-too-easy-on-his-critics/#more-795664
My comment for Amr should have also included Colby.
My apologies.
Also a must-read:
http://www.commentarymagazine.com/article/please-excuse-my-president/
Compared to what?
http://m.apnews.mobi/ap/db_6776/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=Il2j2cmE
AP: NEW YORK (AP) - Former President Bill Clinton warned Monday that a Mitt Romney presidency would be "calamitous" for the nation and the world, going further than even President Barack Obama in depicting the consequences of a return to Republican rule of the White House.
Clinton said Obama had earned a second term because of his steering of the economy through a "miserable situation," and that "the alternative would be, in my opinion, calamitous for our country and the world."
Clinton's take came as he helped raise at least $3.6 million for Obama at three New York fundraisers.
Perhaps that is the source of their delusion; they're so effective at fundraising that they just assume that they're effective at everything else.
Clinton also said at the fundraiser that Republicans and Romney have adopted Europe's economic policies. "Who would have ever thought that the Republicans who made a living for decades deriding Old Europe would embrace their economic policies," he said.
Huh? It's Obama that's been actively "fundamentally transforming" us into a bankrupt European Socialist Democracy.
Again, this sort of nonsense isn't meant for us, but for the the fundamentally disconnected.
John, I agree completely...those in the ivory towers are like some of the guys in the front office...they have no idea what is going on out in the shop!
@Gang of One- Good links! Thanks for sharing.
@John the Econ- I practically got whiplash when I read Clinton's accusation that it's the Republicans pushing for the disastrous European debt model for our country. These Dems lie as easily as they breathe - and more frequently.
@PRY- Even now, I'm amazed how many people are completely clueless, and enthusiastically believe whatever the day's "Big Lie" from the left is. I'm still seeing Libs on the Internet cackling about Obama being the penny-pinchingest president since Eisenhower.
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