Friday, October 5, 2012

Friday Free For All

Bark Obama got licked in the big dog fight

Readers- It's another "Free For All Friday" with bits and pieces of things which I've created in the past 24 hours or so while enjoying the lamentations of the Left following the first Presidential Debate. I'll also admit that this is at least slightly due to the fact that I received a notice today that the price of my health insurance was being raised yet again - this time by about $4000 - and so I'm just a wee bit distracted by the urgency of either finding another plan or prying out my gold fillings to sell for cash. Thanks, Obamacare!

But aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, I'm in a pretty good mood. And so is Joe Biden, who is a little unclear on how the transition of executive power actually works...


Meanwhile, Barack Obama's handlers have told him to bring his best game to the next debate. Unfortunately, they've forgotten that his best game is golf...


And finally, I was almost sorry for the torment Chris Matthews was feeling after watching Wednesday's debate. And by "almost sorry," I mean that I was ecstatically happy to see his apoplectic misery. And it's a pleasure I look forward to again in the near future, now that MSNBC has figured out a way to force Matthews to watch the next debate...


Have a great weekend!  -Stilt

40 comments:

Velcro said...

Poor Bark. He got whupped, but good. Amazing the MSM saying Fox and Mitt scared the black out of him? We may have to change Tingles' name to Shingles...

and I love the mole on the side of his muzzle!!!

Dobro Player said...

If that is how Chris Matthews reacts after his messiah loses one debate, I suspect he will need to be put on suicide watch if Obama loses the election. I can't wait for the debate between Paul Ryan and Joe Biden. It will be like watching an Israeli sniper vs. a jihadi- Biden won't know what hit him, and he will be a mess.

SusieBee said...

I can't wait either to see Paul Ryan make mincemeat out of ol' Joe Biden - I expect Chris Matthews' face will melt off just like the Nazis in Raiders of the Lost Ark!

The Digital Hairshirt said...

Horror show, my droog, horror show.

FlyBoy said...

Stilt- I don't understand how your insurance is going up so much. Didn't Barry say repeatedly that Obamecare would make healthcare more affordable for everyone? He also claimed in the debate that he put an extra 3000-4000 dollars in our pockets. I'm guessing he meant that the American people collectively got that money.

Gang of One said...

And what, I my Brothers, will they make Your Humble Narrator Little Chris slooshy as he viddies those merzky, bezoomny flicks? Not Ludwig Van's glorious Ninth! It comes to me clear as anzure sky in summer ... Puccini's "Nessun Dorma"!

Colby said...

@Stilton,
I am impressed with your ability to retain your brevity whilst being corn-holed by obummercare. My insurance went up about $40 per week last year (and my employer is paying a much bigger chunk than me!). I can't wait to see what it will be if Bark wins another term!

It's been a looooong time since I saw that movie; might have to rent it. As I recall, the main character gets violently sick when he hears Beethoven. When we run Chris through the process, lets say the word "Republican" over and over while he watches the video.

The libs are going ape shit over Romney's comments about PBS. I figure we've been supporting Big Bird all these years, it's about damn time he got a real job! Crimony! What good will it do to have public broadcasting if nobody can afford electricity?

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

I would almost suggest that Chrissy Legtingles had a psychotic break but that would indicate a departure from the norm.

Irene Peduto said...

@Stilton & Company - as always hoping for the best regarding this election & looking forward to the Veep Debate. Have a wonderful weekend.

Chris said...

As a denizen of N.Va., living not too far (but far enough!) from the Emerald City of Odds occupied (yeah, deliberate choice of word) by Ozymandias-on-the-Potomac and his merry band of Raiders of the Last Dollar, I'd opine that the First Wookie might want to kiss his way-sore "boo boo" from the thrashing he just received, but first she's have to pry off the collective lips of all the MSM that have been planted on his tushie like barnacles encrusted on the hull of an old rusty tramp steamer.

(Gee, that's nigh onto a run-on sentence, not to be confused with the "run-over" sentence we've endured the last 4 years!.)

Cheesy said...

Chris Matthews, Robot Chicken.

Colby said...

@DobroPlayer,
Suicide watch? Makes me wonder how many people would sign up to watch Chris Tingle do it.

@Chris,
Run-on or not, nice! I especially like the encrusted barnacle comparison.

Sarah Rolph said...

Thanks, Stilt--have a great weekend yourself!

Mine is starting in about 20 minutes. Here in the Boston area it has been raining for a week, and apparently it's planning to do that again this weekend. Today it is gorgeous and sunny and calm so I am going paddling on the Concord river, an excellent way to relax. (For those who live in the area and may be interested, I rent a kayak at South Bridge Boathouse--they have canoes, as well.)

The trees are starting to get pretty so it should be just about perfect. Maybe I can forget about the election, the gathering storm in the Middle East, and oh yeah the health insurance problem--not only do I have to get a new plan but my husband is turning 65 so we get to figure out how to transition to Medicare; turns out you need insurance to complement that if you want actual, you know, coverage, and of course it's all changing or might be changing so really it's impossible to know but you still have to decide....

But first, the river.

Sam L. said...

SAY! I notice nobody is quoting Keith Olberman? Has he completely disappeared (a consummation devoutly to be wished)?

TrickyRicky said...

On November 7, that merzky bratchny will creech like a young devotchka and dine on cal. No moloko for you, no moloko for you, yarbles breath. (I just happened to have my copy of Anthoony Burgess' masterpiece at Hand)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Velcro- The aftermath of the debate is nearly as amusing as the actual event. Although I read today that there has been an amazing - no, miraculous drop in unemployment finally getting the president under 8%. Obviously, these numbers are completely bogus and intended to take the place of the debate trouncing in the news.

@Dobro Player- If Barry loses in November, I expect Matthews to rip open a trench coat and reveal he's wearing a bomb vest.

Regarding the Ryan/Biden debate, that's going to be such a mismatch that it's hard for me to even imagine. Fortunately, I won't have to.

@SusieBee- Now that's a beautiful image!

@The Digital Hairshirt- "A Clockwork Orange" is a great favorite of mine (the novel is excellent, by the way, as is pretty much everything else Anthony Burgess ever wrote). It's really a brilliant satire on whether behaviors compelled by the state have anything whatsoever to do with actual morality.

@Flyboy- About two months ago I got a $1000 refund from my insurance company along with a federally mandated letter saying that Obamacare was the reason I was getting money back. Then they raised my rates by $4000 simply saying that medical expenses are going up, but didn't (and probably couldn't) mention Obamacare. By the way, my healthcare plan absolutely sucks - a very high deductible, no dental or vision, just basic catastrophic care - but it costs more than many new cars. I haven't heard of anyone, anywhere, whose insurance costs have gone down under Obama. But I have read (and repeatedly warned here) that people with private insurance would be gouged to pay for all the Obamacare "freebies" which insurance customers have to offer their new customers - without grandfathering those benefits into our policies. And this does not make me happy.

@Gang of One- I definitely need to break out the movie for another viewing. Maybe later this morning, after I've been munching away at eggiwegs, and lomticks of toast and lovely steakiwegs.

@Colby- My skyrocketing insurance rate isn't the only insult: I'll probably also receive a fine for paying too much for insurance (I'm not joking - the fine is also part of Obamacare). Quite transparently, the goal is to force me to give up my current insurance ("if you like it, you can keep it as long as you don't mind skyrocketing premiums!") and get an Obamacare-blessed policy. Which is what I'm going to do.

In "A Clockwork Orange" the sickness when hearing Beethoven is a side effect of governmental conditioning which forces a citizen to only behave in government-approved ways. So the question becomes, can there be such a thing as individual morality when the state compels behavior rather than letting us make our own choices? The film could hardly be more relevant to what we're seeing around us right now.

Regarding Big Bird, "Sesame Street" is a freaking money machine, as are many of the other properties on PBS. There's no reason to think that either entity would go out of business without government funding - they'd simply be put on the same footing as the other 1000 cable channels which are somehow managing to pay the bills without forcing us to borrow from China.

@Angry Hoosier Dad- I hadn't considered Psychosis with Chris, but clearly he's got a lot of angry voices in his head. And to hear him tell it, they've got knives. Maybe it's time he had a long break in a very soft room.

@Irene Peduto- And the same for you!

@Chris- You weave a pretty mean tapestry of visual images there - nicely done!

@Cheesy- Clockwork orange, robot chicken...anything which has gears that can jam is a good analogy for Matthews.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby- It would be wrong to wish such an event to happen. I'm just saying that I hope if Chris ever does go to meet the 99 virgins, I've got it on TIVO.

@Sarah Rolph- Kayaking and changing foliage sound nice, and I hope they help you forget the other stuff. I'm still a few years out from Medicare, and am not looking forward to trying to find a provider. Which makes me think of one of the oft-repeated lines of Obama and his droogies: they're not cutting benefits to seniors, only cutting payments to those who would provide those benefits. So when doctors say "to hell with this, I'd rather go kayaking" and quit their practice, Obama can say he didn't cut seniors' benefits, the doctors did.

Argh. Now I'm thinking about visiting the river. And not, as Joe Bitem said in today's cartoon, "in the good way."

@Sam L- You're right, Olbermann has done a pretty thorough vanishing act. I believe it had something to do with everyone in broadcasting finding him to be an insufferable asshole. Although if that were the case, how do we explain the lineup on MSNBC?

@TrickyRicky- Burgess was a freakin' genius... and his life story is quite compelling too.

txGreg said...

@Dobro Player,

In regards to Chris Matthews and the possibility of Ă˜bama losing: When you speak of "suicide watch," is that another way of saying "pay per view?" (probably draw more viewers than his normal MSNBC show)

Philip said...

Ohio poll: Romney leads 51-48 among those certain to vote

Boing! (3 Swing State Polls: Romney up in Ohio, VA and FL)

Scarborough: Something’s awfully odd about this job report

POLL: ROMNEY PULLS AHEAD IN VIRGINIA...

California Refiners Ration Gasoline as Prices Near Record...

Welch: Obama manipulating numbers after debate performance...

Fuzzy Math?: CNBC Describes New Unemployment Numbers as 'Contradictory'

Fact Check: Suspicion Falls on Labor Secretary Solis as She Misleads on Jobs Numbers

Millertime said...

I have a suggestion.

I would like to see Bark Obama in a crate strapped to the roof of Mitt's car on the road for the next debate.

Nothing like smacking a liberal with the same rolled up newspaper they intended to use against you.

graylady said...

You're right, after all these years living on the PBS payroll, Big Bird needs a job in the real world. Maybe he could interview with Chick-Fil-A or Tyson Chicken.

As for Chris Mathews getting the virgins in Paradise, there are going to be an awful lot of really frustrated women left when he finally peters out (pun unintended) and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned..........

Colby said...

So, is the "incredibly low 7.8% unemployment rate" the long predicted October surprise? If so, whatever BO lackey was assigned to orchestrate the big whopping surprise fell short of the touchdown by about 90 yards.

Joe Biden showed up at the White House the other day with a bunch of Halloween candy, masks and decorations. Barry said, "No Joe! I told you to go out and get me an October SURPRISE, not supplies!"

Well, that was a real knee slapper, wasn't it?

Wyo Cowboy said...

I believe Al Gore's theory explaining Obama's horrible performance. I would like to propose they move the next two debates to the University of Wyoming in Laramie.
Elevation 7,165 feet.

The Doktor said...

Great stuff this week, Stilton!! Although, you've got to admit, these asshats are just GIVING AWAY fantastic material to work with!! Especially the Chrissy meltdown. I can imagine that he was on a Thorazine drip right after the massacre!!

Necron99 said...

Its BEEN time to drop funding for PBS & NPR anyway because they have become almost useless as media outlets. Nickelodeon had superseded PBS in the children's market years ago. The only real reason for the continued popularity of Sesame Street is the parents who purchase their wreck because of fond childhood memories. I freely admit to being a kid who watched the PBS children's line up, but keep in mind, when I was a kid, there was no cable or satellite! PBS was all you had if you weren't watching NBC, CBS, & ABC.

As for NPR, other than Garrison Kheeler and some of their music programs..., meh. The news is pure dumbo-crat propaganda where the female talent sounds more masculine than the male. (I hate whiney nasal voiced men)

Pull the plug and let them fend for themselves.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@txGreg- If it was a pay-per-view event, maybe it could raise enough money to support PBS without additional loans from China. Win-win, right Chris?

@Philip- Good links! There's definitely another story here than the narrative the MSM wants to feed us.

@Millertime- I'll guarantee you that Mitt's dog didn't suffer in that car carrier the way the Bamster did on that debate stage!

@graylady- I have sincere admiration for Sesame Street, Big Bird, and the rest of the gang. They've done some spectacular work. But they don't need government assistance. Competition demands quality - and quality products will survive.

@Colby- Only the insane will believe that we've had miraculous job growth in the past 30 days. I don't think this claim is going to work for Obama.

@Wyo Cowboy- If Barry is bothered by altitude, maybe he should consider stepping down from his pedestal from time to time.

@The Doktor- It's a love/hate thing; the Left gives me plenty of material, but that material gives me stress headaches and rotten sleep. I've got to admit, though, that after watching Chris Matthews' hissy fit after the debate, I went to bed grinning and actually got up early because I was eager to see what the day would bring. It's been years since that's happened.

@Necron99- Moreover, PBS gets huge price breaks on the creative for their shows (ie, people who work on those shows don't get the same benefits, payment, and residuals as those creatives who work on any other national show). Put another way, government subsidies and preferential rules allow PBS to compete unfairly with other worthy content producers. This might have been understandable when most of America received 3 or 4 TV channels - but now? No way.

Philip said...

More good news :

Reuters tracking poll: Romney gains four points on Obama in two days after debate

Ohio Poll Analyst: Voter Turnout Modeling Predicts Big Ohio Trouble for Obama

Romney polling bounce from debate?

Polls, ballot requests suggest Romney overtaking Obama in Ohio

Romney gets post-debate bounce in Fla., Ohio, Va.

Rasmussen :

Florida: Romney 49%, Obama 47%

Virginia: Romney 49%, Obama 48%

Pete(Detroit) said...

One of the issues (so I recall) w/ raising kids on Sesame Street et al is that they tend to have little bits that are changing / different every 30 - 90 sec. Thus TRAINING kids to expect something new and different quickly. Any wonder they have problems focusing / concentration? Learned ADD anyone? Obvious Question - Gee, *I* grew up w/ that, it didn't seem to affect me" and the response is that growing up we ALSO did OTHER things - ran around, chased each other, hunted frogs, rode bikes, helped Mom w/ dinner, what ever, we were engaged in the Real World. Not so much kids anymore, I fear..

MANY years ago, some friends were giving me grief for not listening to NPR - I did the local comedy show for morning drive, and syndicated talk for evening. So I tried NPR for a bit. Caught them lying. Not hype, or spin, but flat out LYING to us. Sorry bitches, I'm all done now. (Issue was 9/11 commission report, which stated that Saddam had nothing to do w/ 9/11 - which as far as I know is true. NPR was reporting that the report said Saddam had nothing to Al-quida or other terrorist organizations, which I understand to be blatantly false. He harbored terrorists in Iraq all the time. Just not the 9/11 bunch)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pete(Detroit)- When Barney the Dinosaur was introduced on video (predating even the PBS series), toddlers paid such rapt attention that some people thought hypnosis or subliminal messages were involved. Instead, it turned out that the show's producers had made a decision to give the show a linear flow and NOT keep cutting and changing subjects and locations. And what do you know - kids have long attention spans after all if the material is presented correctly. I personally think that there is a link between ADD and today's in-your-face, quick-cut, adrenalized entertainment for kids.

As for NPR, I've got no use for them whatsoever. They shouldn't get a nickel of government funding. Remember not too long ago when the white, liberal woman running NPR fired black commentator Juan Williams for being a racist? These people have no shame.

By the way- if you go to the left sidebar and look under Johnny Optimism's picture, you'll see a box marked Search Cartoons by Topic. Enter "NPR" (or almost any other subject) and you can see relevant cartoons and commentary from the past four years!

JustaJeepGuy said...

A woman I once worked with told me she had taken her kids to the doctor and he told her he could tell that the kids didn't watch TV by their decent attention spans. I guess TV was different 50+ years ago when I was a child. Even though I watched some TV, I still read books. I remember trying to watch MTV 30 years ago and hating it because of the quick-cut, flit-flit-flit changing view stuff made for those whose attention spans are measured in microseconds. It's annoying as can be!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@JustaJeepGuy- The really frightening thing is that the ADD kids who've been brought up on quick-cut TV for the past 20 years are going to think that the current generations of kids raised on Twitter really have no attention span. And they'll be right.

I firmly believe that this fast-moving, fragmented flow of trivial information hardwires the brain in such a way that it can't cope with anything else. It's basically a Digital Stupidity Virus which is highly communicable and possibly incurable.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Certainly explains sound byte politics and the rise of liberalism in general...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pete(Detroit)- I'm afraid it does. And why so many think it's okay for today's economy to be brought to you by the letter "owe."

Necron99 said...

Good one Dr. J! Letter "owe", as in Owe-bama...

s said...

One, ONE Funny
Two, TWO Funnies! Oh ho hoh!

Stan da Man said...

facepalm!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Big Bird goes all conservative on Moochelle: http://youtu.be/QvnHI1K4cIE

Pete(Detroit) said...

Thanks, Em! THAT was fookin' HYSTERICAL!!!!

REM1875 said...

That rapid change technique not only leads to short attention spans but leads to the expectation that something new and exciting is always around the next corner barring this it tends to lead to a depression. New job, new wife, new car, new furnishings, new religion, next spirituality -nothing is permenent. No black and white, no good, no bad, situational ethics. Constant sensory stimulation. No story is to last longer than a movie, all life solutions take no more than an hour just like t.v. Why save? Why have long term life goals - takes to long. It has given us a nation of checker players rather than chess players unable to see more than the next move or future consequences.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- Good points. It's rather like junkies who always need that next fix - sooner and bigger, just to avoid crashing. It's a bad situation.