Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Fulsome Prism Blues

obama, obama jokes, whitehouse, nsa, prism, two girls one cup, privacy, spying, tea party, conservative, stilton jarlsberg

Today's cartoon will be hilarious to some and completely baffling to others (bless your gentle hearts) - but its real beauty is that this is a fully interactive cartoon which not only provides a humorous perspective on Barry and the NSA's Prism data collection efforts, but will actually cause their alarm bells to go off if you dare to Google the name of the video in panel one! (Which, seriously, we don't recommend that you do. We'll just say that it's one of the grossest things in the universe.)

Yes, the simple and entirely innocent act of trying to get an online joke figured out will cause your personal PRISM profile to be updated to include the fact that you're a smut-loving, deviant coprophiliac. Which, frankly, might not be a bad idea because the computer algorithms will then also assume you must be a liberal, which will get you out of a tax audit at the very least, and might even bump you up a few names on any organ transplant lists you happen to be on.


It has just come to Hope n' Change's attention (though channels we're not currently free to share) that the NSA PRISM Profile Servers have been hacked and - until the system is patched - you can see the governments' personality assessment file on YOU based on a compilation of all their data sources!

All you need to do is visit the site at the link below. You don't need to enter any information, as it will simply read your IP Address and locate your personal file (note: proxy servers won't fool it).

WARNING: Hope n' Change has been told that you should remain at the site no longer than 30 seconds unless you actually hoping to attract attention. Additionally, we're told that it's legal to see your own file, but illegal to share it with anyone else as it is considered classified information.

Hope n' Change visited the site - and yes, the personality profile was frighteningly accurate. For legal reasons we aren't suggesting that you do or don't visit the site: the choice must be entirely yours. We just want you to know that the link exists (for how long, nobody knows) and that you might want to share the link (and warnings) with friends or skeptics on both sides of the political spectrum.


Robert Sudbury III said...

Don’t you blaspheme NSA!… using DSOTM in vain like that.

Gang of One said...

PRISM graphic ... with apologies to Pink Floyd, right? ;-)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Robert Sudbury III- At the NSA, they like to listen to your phonecalls while watching "The Wizard of Oz" witht the sound turned down.

@Gang of One- I'm assuming that Pink Floyd came in with the lowest bid.

Jim hlavac said...

Oh, I did the link. And Lo and Behold -- up popped a profile after a "scanning" dialogue box! Redacted something or other at the beginning. Two watch lists! Then well, arrant vague mush. And so, in my radical militant something or other -- homosexual or liberty minded -- take yer pick -- I posted it to my blog. They won't know what do to, will they? Hmm.

I shall be flying in a week -- maybe I can't get home, maybe I can. I'll find out soon enough. But, I sure had fun with it at my blog -- which is linked through my name, of course -- seems my "sexual adjustment" is out of whack -- Oh, I'd date a big strong NSA agent.

It's comedic. And absurd.

I regret I have one sissy smooch to give to my country. Yeesh.

If you don't hear from me for awhile, I'm either busy with family, as I've been for two weeks, and another week to go -- or hauled off to the pokey.

txGreg said...

heh - as long as we're talking data gathering, here's a nice companion piece to today's post. Enjoy!

Chuck said...

Excellent post. I checked the NSA site as suggested and realize that I must be sharing my IP with "someone else", but that "someone else" most definitely fits the description as confirmed by the current information at the manual link entry. Thanks!

@Anonymous - most sensible people (and I include myself in that category) won't go to a URL offered in the comment section that contains no explanation with the URL and is posted by, well, Anonymous. Just thought you should know.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Jim Hlavac- When you checked your profile, did you get the additional information by going to the URL at the bottom (which needs to be entered manually - it's not a link). That really seemed like the most interesting information.

@txGreg- I read a piece recently that says this is exactly the thing that goes on when the government is listening to phonecalls between our enlisted men and women overseas and their spouses at home. Those doing the monitoring will alert others to jump online to listen if it turns to sex talk.

@Chuck- It's that manual link which really gets your attention and lets you know who's in charge.

Regarding the post from "Anonymous," I nuked it for the reasons you mention - but it was actually (seemingly?) harmless, and just alerting us to the fact that someone (presumably Anonymous) had posted the cartoon over at 4Chan.

George in Houtx said...

Jim, if they haul you to jail, be mindful of what they call "the debriefing". also, be careful! I hear there are some 'hardened' criminals in there. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you. I enjoy your posts on here!

John the Econ said...

Watch out @Stilton, you might be next!:

"...agents of the Secret Service visited Tom Francois, an outspoken critic of President Obama who has over 11,700 Twitter followers and warned him on their way out the door to be careful or they would come back -- for his guns."

Francois was visited by federal authorities on April 11, 2013, who had what she described as a "thick FBI file- filled with screenshots of hundreds of posts.

It seems that Francois is very outspoken against Obama and likes to use programs to create cartoons."

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Shoot, Stilton! Just go join a Mosque! The cloak of PRISM invisibility: Obama's Snooping Excludes Mosques, Missed Boston Bombers. Ah, it's GREAT to be an American!

Nevada Computer Works said...

Hey Jim, We must be twins. Mine is word of word of yours. How you been bro?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@George in HouTx- And here, I did such a nice job of resisting the urge to make a joke about the word "pokey." Oh well...

@John the Econ- I won't lie, I DO NOT WANT Secret Service agents coming to my door. That being said, I'd be cordial but firm (and no, they can't come in to "look around" without a warrant). I don't really worry about it, though; this webcomic has a stalwart record of being anti-violence in any way, and I also have a personal history which would potentially make it very easy to get news coverage of such a visit, and cast the Secret Service in a less than flattering light for wasting time and resources.

@Emmentaler- Spoiler alert: you've landed on Friday's cartoon/commentary topic.

@Nevada Computer Works- Freaky!

Anonymous said...

I must be technologically challenged, as I can't get the "manual Link" at the end of my profile to work
Any ideas?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- In your browser's URL bar, enter

Note that the character between V and B is an uppercase "I" (not a one, or lowercase "L").