Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Boxing Day

obama, obama jokes, cartoon, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, tea party, detroit, obamacare

We'll admit it: reviewing news stories for inclusion in today's Hope n' Change failed to ignite our editorial passions, although did remind us why we're increasingly muttering obscenities to ourselves and exhibiting odd facial tics.

Just look at the crummy news stories we had to pick from:

Obama gave yet another speech about how great Obamacare is, surrounded by handpicked meat props who claim that they've seen benefits from the healthcare fiasco (although last time Barry did this, the majority of people claiming such benefits were lying through their teeth, and only expected good results eventually).  The president did not offer equal time on the stage for any of the countless people (including cancer-stricken children) who have lost their insurance.

Meanwhile, Detroit is officially bankrupt owing to a long history of government officials making promises which were never funded and couldn't possibly be kept. Sound familiar? And didn't a current president brag about having saved Detroit prior to the last election?

In other news, Barry's drunk-driving Uncle Omar has been given permission to stay in the United States, despite the fact that he arrived here from Kenya on a short-term student visa in 1963 and hasn't exactly been doing post-graduate research for the past 50 years. The White House claims that Barack Obama has never met his uncle, although Uncle Omar claims that Barry lived with him for 3 weeks while attending Harvard Law School. When it comes down to choosing who's lying - the president or an aging liquor store clerk - we're choosing to believe Uncle Omar.
Obama's Aunt Zeituni, best known for being a long-term illegal immigrant on the public dole, remains in the United States too. Which isn't news, but we just like writing the words "Aunt Zeituni." Say it out loud! It's fun! Zeituni!

What else? In the interest of transparency and a willingness to answer the really tough questions, the White House has arranged for the president to be interviewed by MSNBC's worshipful Chris "Tingling Leg" Matthews, which we expect to play out a lot like the old joke about the lonely traveling salesman who gets romantic with a milking machine that "don't shut off till it gets 3 quarts." Only as far as we can tell, Chris Matthews' will keep sucking forever.

Also under consideration was a news story about Obama's website, "Organizing for Action," sending out emails encouraging followers to throw get-togethers with their friends to commemorate the horrific mass killings at Newtown. The website even offers to send planning ideas "to help make your event a success!" Seriously, the blood of innocents is like mother's milk to this loathsome president and his cult of followers.

All of which (and more, Heaven help us) is why Hope n' Change just feels like putting its head in a box today and letting the world go by.  But that would be cowardly and, more importantly, the box we had in mind isn't empty yet.

It's currently full of cheap wine. And, by the time you read this, we will be too.


Anonymous said...

Drink the good stuff, Stilton!

Colby said...

Your exhuberant optimism is getting pretty annoying; please tone it down a notch or two. Surely, there must be something that gets you down. Oh, and you probably already know this: wine is fine, but liquor is quicker. Plus you'll look classier with a Jack Daniels box on your head than a Mad Dog box.

President O'Incompetent should take Reggie with him on Cris Tingles' show. Barry and Chris are the jerk" part; they just need Reggie to complete the "circle" part.

I have something to confess to all you Hope'n'Changers. BO is now asking us to spread the word about O-Ifyou'reover50you're totallyscrewed-care. I've been doing that for years already! Where's my damn exemption?!

John the Econ said...

I can feel for the difficulty that the Home and Change Editorial Board must have in choosing a subject for any particular day.

ObummerCare: Of course singing praises over "benefits" that haven't even taken effect yet is either a lie, or just another expression of their irrational belief in the religion of hope for Progressivism. "Hey, I got an e-mail that says I have health care. Whoo hoo!". More real are the cases like the one cited above where real people with real problems are losing their coverage, and being forced to pay more for much, much less.

And this is why unlike most other Democratic schemes, ObamaCare is going to slap them back in the worst way in the very short term. As I've said so many times here before, it's easy for the liberal media to spin a real or imaginary crisis somewhere and convince people that something must be done. On the other hand, it's not possible to convince people they're now living in a utopia when they're about to lose their job and/or their own insurance is either cancelled or made two or three times more expensive for less coverage. Never mind that many who now actually think they've got insurance from may, in fact, have nothing, since the back end of the site is still not working.

Detroit: Watched an amusing exchange with the local representative of AFSCME after the bankruptcy ruling came down yesterday. I don't think these people get it. There is no money! I guess the city could keep writing checks to your members, but they'll bounce because there is no money. She proceeded to argue that the money should come from the banks, as if that's how things work. I guess Democrats literally do think that money grows on trees, and Detroit's only problem is all of the tree hoarders.

Of course, what the are really hoping for is a big bailout check from Obama. And a few years ago, that might have even been possible. But Obama's now mortally wounded and the Democrats have an election coming up. It's bad enough that Democrats on the bubble have to explain the horrors of "the new normal" and of ObamaCare to their constituents. Having to defend handing out over $18-billion to pay off union drones in Detroit when people elsewhere are losing their jobs and insurance would be another nail in their coffins.

Obama's uncle and aunt: Don't know what the excitement is about. It doesn't look like they're getting any better or worse treatment than the millions of other illegals are in this country who seem exempt from many of our laws beyond just immigration. All this does is display Obama's belief that it's someone else's job to take care of his family instead of himself.

Obama with Chris Matthews. So what? If a tree falls on MSNBC, does it make a noise? Nobody knows anymore.

Celebrating Newtown: No surprise. They never let a good tragedy go to waste. However note that Smith & Wesson reported record sales of $588 million for the fiscal year ending April 30, up 43 percent over 2012. The anti-gun advocates haven't seem to have caught on to the fact that the louder and more shill they get, the more guns get sold. Flush the anti-gun, pro-crime liberals from the government and I assure you that new guns sales would drop to near zero.

But we all know that's not the real agenda.

Meanwhile @Stilton, I suggest that we start lobbying for something called the "Affordable Cartoon Act":

Perhaps the Hope and Change Editorial Board could then offer paying positions.

Sparky said...

This administration just keeps getting sicker and sicker, doesn't it?! Just when we think they can't get any more odious, wicked, atrocious, monstrous, abominable, detestable, they "celebrate Newtown"!?! It reminds me of the song American Pie: "... I saw Satan laughing with delight." Obama really is satanic in his actions! It's so sad that he delights in so much hatred. He is so like the Pharaoh in ancient Egypt that kept hardening his heart to the Israelites plight which lead him to being drowned in the Reed Sea. (Guess you can see where I'm going with this. He will meet the same sad end if he doesn't repent.) Aw well, I keep watching our 'box' (TV) and have actually, I guess, tuned out a lot of it. Thank you for your wonderful humour during a very unfunny time. We sure all need you Stilton. ~:)

Reiuxcat said...

I expect the immigration judge to be getting a filibuster free appointment to an appellate court in 3...2...1...

CenTexTim said...

'Coffee'... gulpgulpgulp...

P.S. - John the Econ, great link!

Bruce Bleu said...

You are OBVIOUSLY too "honky" to get an exemption from THIS presiduce!
And, I perceive, that lamont is the "cluster" part of ANOTHER group.

Colby said...

... and who knows, maybe Chris will get a thrill up something other than his leg when he is face to face (so to speak)with his messiah. All 47 viewers will wonder what that slapping sound is, and why Chrissie's arm is jerking around so fast under the desk.

@John the Econ,
OOooo.. affordable Cartoon Act! We'll all open the paper next year, and the cartoon page will only have Doonesbury.

@Bruce Bleu,
OK, no exemption. How about a cushy ambassadorship in a foreign country like Aruba, Monaco, or California?

PRY said...

Glad to see that I am not alone in my feelings about this evil bunch of misfits that keep taking bites out of the American dream!

Truly, I have backed off the news cycle somewhat, only tuning in now and then (to FOX), to see what the new abomination of the day is, or to learn some new aspect of the UnaffordableCareAct!

I go to AmericanThinker regularly, and am rarely disappointed; their writers are well-read and sensible. I see that many are delving into the person that IS is quite enlightening, kinda like learning about a dread disease can be useful too...which is his equivalent!

I think we are in the 'waiting game' now, steeling ourselves for the coming months, hoping that as this compassionate legislation reaches out and touches more and more Americans, the tide will swell in direction we will be glad to see. Namely, total rejection!

JustaJeepGuy said...

I saw a news item today that said 52% of the new messiah's younger voters would vote to recall him if it were possible. They're discovering (way too slowly and way too late, but it's better late than never) their god's feet of clay.

Bruce Bleu said...

I hear that lamont is looking for an ambassador to Deerborn, Michigan... (better bone-up on your sharia law!).

Jay said...

I created a web page
( that my conscious mind (after covertly communicating with my subconscious mind) informed me was partially inspired by the many Hopen'Change cartoons I've seen.

Anonymous said...

Don't feel bad, Stilt. There are more people living in cardboard boxes every week, so you're not alone.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- If I'm in the mood to self-medicate for a long period of time, I go with the wine. For quicker results, I do go with the good stuff.

@Colby- Yeah, today's post was mostly just a long, exhausted whine (not chardonnay). I'd like to provide a better service to readers by demonstrating a kick-ass optimism every day, but instead I opt for honesty...and the day's news just had me shaking my head in disgust.

@John the Econ- Great comments. Regarding Obamacare, I wish there was some solid metric that was available to show the ratio of those hurt versus those helped. It would already look like hell, and will certainly get much worse in time. And I'd LIKE to think the Dems will pay a price for this, but I'm just not sure anymore.

I had to laugh (and it's that creepy kind of laugh) about the union rep who thinks that money just grows inside banks and only needs to be harvested. I don't mean to sound hardhearted, but Detroit needs to pay for its own sins; at this point its greatest value is to serve as a warning to the rest of the country.

Regarding Omar & Zeituni, it makes perfect sense that Obama has ignored them and prefers that the state care for them. That's what he wants for all of us - because, as a sociopath, he truly can't understand helping others voluntarily.

Newtown "Events" - One of the many things which so angers me about this is that there are apparently no such commemorations pushed for the Ft. Hood massacre. Why doesn't OFA push that as an argument for gun control? Oh yeah - because it wasn't children who died...just military men and women. And that doesn't count (as we can tell from the fact that the news media barely even report wartime deaths of our enlisted personnel anymore).

@Sparky- They didn't quite use the word "celebration" about their Newtown events, but it's hard to imagine that the OFA types don't view that tragedy with at least a little glee. Not because they wanted children killed, but because they wanted a nice, tidy package to push their anti-gun agenda.

@Reiuxcat- It's hard to believe that there aren't good things waiting in that judge's future.

@CenTexTim- "Coffee" ain't just for breakfast anymore.

@Bruce Bleu- Yeah!

@Colby- To paraphrase the ancient Zen koan, the sound of "one hand clapping" is Chris Matthews fantasizing about Barack Obama with a package of handi-wipes nearby.

@Pry- Truthfully, I've tried to pull back from the news somewhat myself. Oh, I try to remain conversant on the important stuff - but trying to follow ALL of it is just soul-deadening.

@JustaJeepGuy- Oh, how I'd love for the younger generation to finally turn on Barry. And it just might happen. There are a lot of 20-somethings who are really getting tired of living with Mom and Dad because there are no good jobs out there.

@Jay- Hey, I like your page! And to the extent that I've been any inspiration, I'm pleased and humbled. Keep it up! (The cartoons, that is - not ego strokes for me)

@Anonymous- Those are true (but sad) words.

Grizzly said...

Still a great post, Stilton. The only point I where I would disagree with you is that I would sooner believe that Barry is the one lying rather than Uncle Omar.

Try to find some Christmas cheer.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Grizzly- D'oh!!! Yes, of course I meant that I'd believe Uncle Omar over his lying nephew, but I expressed it very poorly. I've now corrected the commentary to make it more clear.

And regarding Christmas cheer, I'm glad to report that it's already sneaking up on me. We've got some lights and decorations up at this point (though the tree won't happen for a couple of days), and my daughter has assembled an absolutely wonderful Christmas music channel on which we're listening to a lot.

Marine4Ever said...

@ Stilton -- You gotta remember that the Ft. Hood massacre was just a case of workplace violence. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Marine4Ever- In fairness, Obama has done a lot to cut down on workplace violence by keeping tens of millions of people from having a workplace to go to.

Marine4Ever said...

@ Stilton -- Point taken. I'll just go sulk in the other room.

John the Econ said...

@Stilton, zing! Good one. Can't have "workplace violence' without "workplaces".

Speaking of other Obama miracles, note that the US beat most countries that actually signed on to the Kyoto CO2 protocols, primarily because of the Obama economy that provided little reason for millions to get up in the morning and drive to work.

Also, the New York Times is now reporting that ObamaCare is going to cost less, because fewer people are working!

See? There's are all kinds of benefits to a dying economy!

Marine4Ever said...

Thanks, guys, for showing me the errors of my ways and the optimism that y'all have. I think I'll just go back to bed.

PRY said...

Chris Matthews 'interviewing' Obama tonight? If I had time, I would draw a cartoon...I keep seeing Matthews on a Santa-suited Obama's knee, saying, "I love you, Santa, and I've been very good...please don't ever go away!"
Obama replies, "Clinton never went away, why should I?"

Ahh, the 'magic' of Christmas! Kinda makes your leg tingle!

John the Econ said...

@PRY, great mental imagery. You should definitely be invited onto the editorial board.

Everyone catching Obama's latest pivot to "wealth inequality" and the minimum wage? Anything to get ongoing bad news with ObamaCare and Iran off the front pages. It's interesting to note (as the WSJ did) that whenever Clinton got in trouble, he'd pivot to the right. But when Obama gets in trouble, he pivots ever further to the left.

"I take this personally," he says. Meaningful talk from a guy who spends more on a single vacation on the taxpayer's dime that most people make in an entire lifetime.

Get set for more trickle-up poverty.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- Yeah, I'm trying to think of a cartoon approach for Barry's new war on "income inequality" but it's hard to work up enthusiasm because the topic is nearly meaningless - it's simply a distraction from Obama's other failures.

On another note, the White House has now verified that it was Obama, not Uncle Omar, who lied about them living together for a brief period in the 80's. In fairness to Barry, he was probably so full of cocaine that he has no memory of it.