Wednesday, December 4, 2013
We'll admit it: reviewing news stories for inclusion in today's Hope n' Change failed to ignite our editorial passions, although did remind us why we're increasingly muttering obscenities to ourselves and exhibiting odd facial tics.
Just look at the crummy news stories we had to pick from:
Obama gave yet another speech about how great Obamacare is, surrounded by handpicked meat props who claim that they've seen benefits from the healthcare fiasco (although last time Barry did this, the majority of people claiming such benefits were lying through their teeth, and only expected good results eventually). The president did not offer equal time on the stage for any of the countless people (including cancer-stricken children) who have lost their insurance.
Meanwhile, Detroit is officially bankrupt owing to a long history of government officials making promises which were never funded and couldn't possibly be kept. Sound familiar? And didn't a current president brag about having saved Detroit prior to the last election?
In other news, Barry's drunk-driving Uncle Omar has been given permission to stay in the United States, despite the fact that he arrived here from Kenya on a short-term student visa in 1963 and hasn't exactly been doing post-graduate research for the past 50 years. The White House claims that Barack Obama has never met his uncle, although Uncle Omar claims that Barry lived with him for 3 weeks while attending Harvard Law School. When it comes down to choosing who's lying - the president or an aging liquor store clerk - we're choosing to believe Uncle Omar.
Obama's Aunt Zeituni, best known for being a long-term illegal immigrant on the public dole, remains in the United States too. Which isn't news, but we just like writing the words "Aunt Zeituni." Say it out loud! It's fun! Zeituni!
What else? In the interest of transparency and a willingness to answer the really tough questions, the White House has arranged for the president to be interviewed by MSNBC's worshipful Chris "Tingling Leg" Matthews, which we expect to play out a lot like the old joke about the lonely traveling salesman who gets romantic with a milking machine that "don't shut off till it gets 3 quarts." Only as far as we can tell, Chris Matthews' will keep sucking forever.
Also under consideration was a news story about Obama's website, "Organizing for Action," sending out emails encouraging followers to throw get-togethers with their friends to commemorate the horrific mass killings at Newtown. The website even offers to send planning ideas "to help make your event a success!" Seriously, the blood of innocents is like mother's milk to this loathsome president and his cult of followers.
All of which (and more, Heaven help us) is why Hope n' Change just feels like putting its head in a box today and letting the world go by. But that would be cowardly and, more importantly, the box we had in mind isn't empty yet.
It's currently full of cheap wine. And, by the time you read this, we will be too.