Monday, December 16, 2013

The Buttcracker Suite

It's getting harder and harder to comment on this administration using printable words. Happily, this video doesn't use words at all, but still captures the Democrats' "pass it to see what's in it" mentality while also making use of our nation's richest and most dependable supply of natural gas.

Blatant Holiday Sales Plugs: Don't forget that for the conservative on your Christmas list (or liberal on your enemies list) there are two giftable books (in print or dirt-cheap ebook form) available from Stilton Jarlsberg.

OBAMA SUTRA - An Illustrated Guide to 57 States of Ecstasy, considered by many to be the greatest politically-satirical sex manual ever written.  Price reduced on the print edition through Christmas! And...

WHO CUT THE CHEESE?  A non-political (but still topical) parody of the bestselling "Who Moved My Cheese?" which offers hope to the jobless masses in today's rotten job market. Well, it doesn't really offer any hope. But over the past few years, we've all grown used to that - right?


WMD said...

Great cartoon today. Who doesn't really love fart jokes? C'mon, you know you do.
Not really on topic, if there is one today, but this is for the neo-commies out there who say nuclear power is the worst possible thing next to conservatism.
Why can Iran have nuclear power but America can't?
Well, we all know the answer. So don't bother.

Colby said...

Flatuatingly funny!
If you get a chance, listen to Bob Rivers Twisted Christmas version of the Buttcracker Suite. "Please just say no to crack...."

Anonymous said...

This is crude and should be removed.

Earl said...

@Anonymous. Lighten up. Fart jokes have been around since time began. Didn't you read Chaucer? I personally think the reference to, "you have to pass it to see what's in it" is hilarious. And Stilton shows restraint by simply being scatological. That's a far cry from folks on the left who think it's humorous to wish death on those who disagree with them.

Anonymous said...

A fart is a pleasant thing, it gives the belly ease. Warms the bed in winter and suffocates the fleas.
A fart may be short, or a fart may be long...some have been known to sound like a song!
From the wide open prairies to a small elevator, a fart will find all of us...sooner or later.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@WMD- There's certainly nothing subtle going on in the video, but I think a higher truth is served by showing that every promise and policy created by these people is basically high-velocity rectal methane.

@Colby- I'll check it out!

@Anonymous- Well, you're half right: it is crude. But it's also a legitimate commentary on the players involved. Passing wind by a Christmas tree may be tasteless, but deliberately taking away medical insurance and treatment for millions of Americans at Christmas is infinitely worse, and deserves all the derision we can possibly throw at those responsible.

@Earl- There's something about invoking Chaucer's name that makes the whole farting thing seem particularly respectable. And you're right that if I was really saying what I thought about these people, I'd be using metaphors a lot stronger than butt trumpets.

@Anonymous- Poetry like that is nothing to sniff at.

Bobo said...

A fart is fun I must confess
For a fart is sh&t without the mess!

Joe Kidd said...

When one counts all their lies, it's obvious that Democrats crawled so far up Obama's ass to pass "his signature piece of legislation" that not only will that stink on them never come off, #Obamacare is a millstone around their neck they will wear to their grave.

It's No Gouda said...

Apropos the fun and frolic with the English language that goes on here from time to time, I offer the following: The difference between a pun and a fart? One is a quick shift of wit and the other is a quick whiff of s**t.

Colby said...

Then there's that famous song, "You are the wind beneath my sheets."

Anonymous #1,
Offensive, eh? It has been my experience that your typical liberal has absolutely zero sense of humor, likely due to world class anal retentiveness. So it's only understandable that you are offended by a fart joke. I may be making some unfounded assumptions here, but I'm guessing you are NOT offended by babies being cut into pieces while they are still alive, or a president that goes to Vegas when Americans are killed by terrorists on American soil.

Just a guess, mind you.

John the Econ said...

At least farts harmlessly dissipate after a relatively short period of time. The stink that this crop of Progressives has generated is going to stick with us for generations, if not longer.

Reiuxcat said...

The Demo-craps we will be thwarting, with ridicule and silly farting.

The low info peeps will soon be starting, to see the liberal crap and them departing.

PRY said...

Appreciate the levity...bout time we had a little fun!

Reiuxcat said...

My 14 year old son approves Stilt. ;-) (as I do)

Foilman Graphix said...

I liked the "Buck Ofama" Christmas photo!
I have a website and T-Shirts that are for sale too!
The Current Administration is pathetic, and needs to be put in prison!
Check out my site...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Bobo- I had no idea that this video would bring so much poetry to this page!

@Joe Kidd- Unfortunately, thanks to Obamacare a lot of people are likely to see their own graves first.

@It's No Gouda- See, there's more food for thought.

@Colby- To be fair to the first Anonymous, he/she may simply be someone with delicate sensibilities who is also conservative. There are people who just have a strong negative reaction to humor about bodily functions. And while I can't and won't tailor this site for their tastes, I do have some sympathy for their point of view. Which is why I try to keep things pretty clean here. And, uh, frequently fail.

@John the Econ- To really do justice to the players, this video should have been "The Buttcracker Shart."

@Reiuxcat- Burma Shave!

@PRY- Absolutely. Today was just about having a bit of a laugh. Heaven knows it's hard enough to do most days.

@Reiuxcat- Well, as long as I have a young humor connoisseur's approval, I'm golden.

@Foilman Graphix- (For those who don't know, I've got some "Buck Ofama" pictures up on Facebook which will probably find their way over here soon). Foilman, I enjoyed your website!

Anonymous said...

Laughing too make a coherent comment.

"you have to pass it to see what's in it"

Damn, Earl, there I go again!

Colby said...

Point humbly taken. I will admit, I DID get a lot of excercise jumping to conclusions.

My apologies if I accused you of being a liberal, but your really not.

PRY said...

I never would have thought that a sane future would rest largely on the 'millenials', citizens 18 thru 29 or thereabouts! They are definitely a different breed of Americans, being born into this high-tech world, whereas most of us here were not!

I admit to, in the past, not understanding or agreeing with them too much, have been forced to think them over in my mind because of their importance in accepting or rejecting a TYRANT'S policies! But, just like us 'aged' folk, they holler just as loud when the guvment tries to put the screws to them!

Kudos to the kids who are going to help defund Obamacare! Too bad though, it took a loss of money to do what simply rejecting Obama and his crazy policies could have done on election day!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- Well, it's better to be incoherent than incontinent.

@Colby- No harm, no foul. Unless the first "Anonymous" speaks up, we just don't know his/her political leanings. Although frankly, I don't know any liberals who don't enjoy farts.

@PRY- Obama has built much of his political career on making speeches at colleges, where the audiences are too young and unwise to know he's lying. But now they're getting stung, and I really hope to see a lot of them waking up. The young are the future, and we desperately need a crop of youthful conservatives to take over for the old farts like us (see how I tied this back to today's video?)

REM1875 said...

Doc pure genius, you stumbled on to something. The govt has been spending a fortune looking for methane breathers at the ocean bottom. They been looking in the wrong place! Let's apply for a grant, send a picture of tingles, Carney, and the msnlsd crew and collect.Threaten them with a picture of pelousy and ried if they don't pay up. We should be rolling in dough in no time.

Anonymous said...

Great video.

Queso Grande said...

Ah, a belch is but a gust of wind, it cometh from the heart.
But when it takes the lower path, it then becomes a fa.......well, you can finish it off.
I will think that the Anon#1 was being sarcastic, in the spirit of the season.
@Stilton, the mere words "hope" & "change" used anywhere! aggravate me anymore. Irrational but involuntary.
As for fart jokes, who doesn't love 'em? If this weren't a family site, I even have a few LBGTTAGW-not that there is anything wrong with that- jokes that revolve around farting.
Nasty, filthy disgusting jokes.
My best to all, and to all a good night.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- I suspect that your plan is vaguely illegal, but I like it anyway.

@Anonymous- Let me be clear: the good folks at did all the creative work...all I had to do was plug in the faces (and pay $12 for a membership, and another $2 for a download). So I didn't share the video as any evidence of my talent or wit, but only to share something silly and funny with my friends here.

And by the way, since I coughed up that huge sum of money, you can expect at least one MORE "offensive" JibJab video appearing here before Christmas. I've got my eye on "Santa's Twerkshop"...

@Queso Grande- Barry has pretty much ruined the words "Hope" and "Change," though I still like them as our banner here because they were, and are, used in an ironic sense.

As for nasty, filthy, disgusting jokes, I love 'em if they're funny. But the "funny" can't (usually) come from the filth. But if they're funny, I'll forgive almost anything.

Stan da Man said...

Queso - the virgin trucker?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

You did good!