Two Tear System

Because the Obamacare bill is huge, confusing, contradictory, and filled with malodorous, semi-digested bits of roughage which Nance Pelosi "passed so you can see what's in it," there are a few aspects of the law which needed clarification.

For example, the Obamacare law specifically states that lawmakers and their staff members must purchase their own health insurance through the online exchanges that the law created. Period. Case closed.

Hmmm- that doesn't seem to hard to interpret, does it? But the language means that these very highly-paid individuals would then lose the generous coverage already provided under the Federal Employees Health Benefits Program, and have to share the same options as the filthy rabble.

That's why the House and Senate brought in a lawyer...well, a former lawyer who no longer has a license...to carefully reexamine the language. That man, who by wild coincidence happens to be the very "Obama" that "Obamacare" was named after, has interpreted the language to mean "never mind what the law says - politicians and their staffs can still keep their high salaries (averaging around $174k/year), and their taxpayer-funded top-quality healthcare plans, and get a Monopoly card that allows them to "Go Directly Past The Death Panels and Collect $200k."

The fear was that if wealthy politicians and staff members had to pay for the same so-called "Affordable Healthcare" which the rest of us are getting in kinetic suppository form, they'd be forced to quit their jobs and go elsewhere - causing a "brain drain" in Washington which would make it even more stupid and inept than it already is.  

A concept which is, to Hope n' Change anyway, frankly inconceivable.

Prophet and Loss Statement

In an opening statement at his military trial, Fort Hood terrorist Nidal Hassan - who is presenting his own defense - said that he is a "mujahideen," and that "the evidence will clearly show that I am the shooter. The dead bodies will show that war is an ugly thing."

In response, the prosecution said "no further evidence," after which a firing squad composed of recovering Fort Hood survivors stood, took aim with their rifles, then blew Hassan into the land of imaginary virgins.

Just kidding, of course. Although the scenario above makes perfect sense to Hope n' Change, the reality is that the trial is expected to take at least a month, and perhaps several months - during which time Hassan will denigrate the United States, our military, Fort Hood, and his multiple victims (some of whom he's actually calling to the stand), while praising radical, militant Islam and the glories of executing his fellow soldiers in the name of Allah.

All of which is a huge waste of time and money, an insult to both the dead and the survivors, and a scathing rebuke of Barack Hussein Obama's contention that poor old Nidal was nothing more than a disgruntled worker who had a bad day at the office - and that the rivers of blood which flowed that day had nothing to do with the president's cherished "religion of peace."

One thing is certain: that blood flowed in no small part because this president has made it clear that he won't tolerate "discrimination" against Muslims, including those who print business cards that say "Soldier of Allah," and who give Powerpoint presentations describing the way they'll behead infidels and pour boiling oil down their throats.

Put another way, Benghazi was only the tip of the iceberg: Obama has already given the "stand down" order for our military to protect itself from the Nidal Hassan's of this world.

Perhaps another trial is in order to find out why.

The Underground Railroaded

At the time of this writing on Sunday evening, Hope n' Change Cartoons still doesn't know if Al-Qaeda and its affiliates will make good on their threat to commit a spectacular terrorist attack (or series of attacks) today in honor of the birthday of the man who's done so much to help them thrive: Barack Hussein Obama.

It's pretty hard to write pithy topical political commentary when you keep checking the news to see if New York is gone, if Chicago's water system has been poisoned, if a nuke has been launched to (perhaps permanently) take out our nation's electrical grid, if cropdusters are spraying anthrax overhead, or the first lady has announced a surprise pregnancy.

And the reason that our consulates are closed, terror warnings have been issued, and Americans are biting their nails today is because they know that Barry was lying when he said that he had Al-Qaeda "on the run." And that when this president declared an end to the War on Terror, it didn't mean the war was over - only that he, personally, was no longer interested in fighting it.

Americans are in fear today because they're realizing that this administration has not worked to make us safer...but has instead used increasingly invasive intelligence-gathering methods to make the government safer from voters.

We'd say more, but the echoing of these computer keys inside this concrete shelter is maddening - and besides, it's our turn to get back on the bicycle-powered generator that keeps the one lonely lightbulb flickering near the American flag on our wall.

 The news media has officially gone from "dick uncovered" to "Duck and Cover."