Friday, April 11, 2014

Nothing To Sneeze At

Readers- Spring has sprung in North Texas, and the pollen count is higher than the percentage of North Koreans who officially voted in favor of Kim Jong-Un. As a result, I'm feeling as lobotomized as Randle McMurphy in "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" (note to self: do not seek treatment from an oversized Obamacare doctor holding a pillow).

So although I'm honked off about plenty of things in the news (as usual), in my current condition I simply couldn't do any of the topics - or you - justice.

However, unlike the average Progressive, my addle-brained condition is only temporary and should clear up by Monday if I crank my energy-wasting office air purifier to 11, take plenty of antihistamines produced by evil Big Pharmaceutical companies, and (most importantly) hydrate, hydrate, hydrate by putting ice cubes in my whiskey.


hillary, clinton, shoe, speech, duck, conspiracy, president, 2016, protest, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, conservative


Geoff King said...

I am a firm believer in home remedies and herbal cures. Coughing, sneezing, and runny noses are your body's way of expelling germs and allergens. When you treat those symptoms with chemical medications, you may gain temporary relief but your immune system will be put on hold and the actual cause of your ailment will not be addressed - not to mention the fact that many of those drugs contain dangerous substances and usually have many undesirable side effects. I recommend if you would like to try more natural ways of treating yourself.

Pete (Detroit) said...

I have a friend who swears by local honey in her tea.
Ice in the whiskey is a good plan too.
Another friend, in Dallas, has reported that the pollen counts are so high, the junkies are turning Meth back into Sudafed...
One year I went 'home' to visit the folks (here in Detroit) and discovered that 'Cotton wood season' was JUST far enough behind Texas that it was just ending at home, and just starting here. Lucky me, I got to 'enjoy' it twice...

Sparky @ My Thoughts Exactly said...

I use the Neti pot with diluted salt water up each nostril. Burns like stink but works better than antihistamine and the like. Also safer and cheaper. Hope you're better soon! :)

Bobo the Hobo said...

The ice cubes are the critical element to this remedy - just be sure to use a generous amount of whiskey to compensate.

Stay hydrated, my friends!

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

OT, but for those concerned about the 'Heartbleed Bug', here is a good article from CNET listing the compromised sites and whether they have 'fixed' the breach (note that this is not an all inclusive list).

Heartbleed Bug Compromised Sites

Password manager 'Last Pass' was also breached, though they have corrected the problem, but the PW manager program 'Dashlane' is far better, free, uses military AES-256 encryption, and available for Mac &PC. Dashlane was the only one that notified me that Adobe had compromised my information a few months ago - Last Pass didn't. Dashlane's site:

Dashlane Password Manager

And no, I don't own stock in Dashlane....

CenTexTim said...

I second @Pete (Detroit)'s recommendation for local honey. Works wonders for my wife.

I also second the whiskey and ice cubes. Works wonders for me.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

I know of a planned Air Force career that was derailed due to the pollen in Texas. I feel for you, Stilt! I truly do.

Chuck Ef said...

Get better Doc.

As any good dog will tell you, a runny nose is a thing of beauty. Or at least, I am trying to convince myself of that. The womens don't agree, strangely enough.

And for the Anonymous Troll, the use of the word "womens" was an attempt at some humor - a foreign thing for you.

Sadie said...

Musical meme for Hillary
Shoo fly, don't bother me.
Shoo fly, don't bother me.
Shoo fly, don't bother me.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Geoff King- Truth be told, I'm really NOT taking much in the way of pharmaceuticals. My mild symptoms are scratchy eyes and throat, and the bigger symptoms are lethargy and confusion (not what you want when writing). So I'm mostly trying to breathe more filtered air for awhile.

@Pete(Detroit)- I think I'm going to have to try the honey thing, because I know a lot of people who swear by it. Plus, we're good friends with a beekeeper who can steer us to truly local honey.

The only problem is that I don't really like honey in most things. Though maybe hot toddies could grow on me...

@Sparky- My twin brother (yes, such a person exists) swears by his Neti pot. I haven't had much luck with them, but might try again. Although I read a nasty article about people getting brain tapeworms from Neti pots and standard tap water, with experts saying to use distilled water only.

@Bobo the Hobo- The right balance of ice to, uh, "medicine" is as much art as it is science.

@Grumpy Curmudgeon- That's a good link and worth checking out. I think I need to change a few passwords. As far as I know, the "Heartbleed" bug doesn't affect anything here at HnC because we don't have any encrypted information, and because the NSA regularly sends repair people to my office to do things like rotate my USB ports ("You need to do it every 6 months!")

@CenTexTim- I just want to make sure that when I tell Mrs Jarlsberg "I'm going to find some local honey to put the spring back in my step" that she doesn't serve me with divorce papers.

@Emmentaler Limburger- Allergists in North Texas are all millionaires. Seriously, we have a long and early growing season, PLUS we get the pollen blown to us from the entire center of the country.

One of the Dallas network affiliates did a huge ad campaign about the new News Anchor they were bringing in from New York (or somewhere) to take over the 6 o'clock news. The person made it ONE DAY on the air before having to flee the state. Seriously - the allergy situation around here is amazing.

@Chuck Ef- I don't really even need to "get better," as I feel fine. Just tired and stupid. Just the few sentences I wrote for today's commentary took about a half hour. I would think that this is how a Democrat feels all the time, only I haven't had an urge to file for foodstamps yet, or call anyone a racist.

@Sadie- Nicely done!

Chuck Ef said...

OK so everyone ignore this. I stole @Grumpy's link to see if could write some html and have it come up as a clickable link, dinosaur that I am - so just a test - sorry, Doc - tried it on my browser and it works but not sure if it's ready for primetime. Hopefully it's slink and not just text.

Heartbleed Bug Compromised Sites

Jim Hlavac said...

So, even the pollen are bigger in Texas, eh? Or is this just an evil plot by the government to drop chemicals across the Texas sky to drive you people crazy? Hmm. I smell conspiracy.

As for the shoe that was flung at the Cinderella of the Democrats -- there's something poetic about it -- and perhaps the start of a new movement -- where good citizens start tossing footwear at politicians wherever they show up. They fling enough at us -- perhaps we should fling back.

Buck O'Fama said...

Stilton, use a neti pot with the little packets from Walgreens AND add a teaspoon of xylitol. I have spent an inordinate amount of money and time trying to cure myself of chronic sinus infections, this works.

Pete Madsen said...

Hey, I just had an idea - Eric Holder should wear a bracelet that zaps him every time a gun is fired in the US.

I have hay fever too, but the grass that gets me won't pollinate for another month, God willing, and Claritin seems to hold it down pretty well.

David in SoCal said...

@Stilt: Before you lose yer Doctor, have him/her git you an Rx for 'Effitol'. Does absolutely NOTHING for allergies, but you won't care.

Heard today that Sylvia Mathews Burwell,(watch out; two last names),will be replacing John Kerry's twin brother; Kathleen Scabsepsis (sp?), at HHS.
Ms. Burwell: The same bee-ach that shut down the World War 2 Memorial for Veterans, but opened it up for an Illegal Alien Rally. Oh boy: here we go again comrades....Does Liquor Barn deliver?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Chuck Ef- Your clickable link worked great! I know it's not rocket science to be able to write the html required, but it was one "new trick" more than this old dog could remember. For that reason, I used a program called BlogAssist to help me create links in these comments.

@Jim Hlavac- I don't know that the pollen itself is bigger in Texas, though we sure as shootin' have more OF it! And while Hope n' Change can't sanction the throwing of shoes at Mrs. Clinton, we can say that as long as someone is going to get arrested anyway, they should consider using horseshoes.

@Buck O'Fama- Noted. Send me your bill, and I'll forward it on to Obamacare for your reimbursement (grin).

@Pete Madsen- I like your idea! The Claritin idea ain't bad either...

@David in SoCal- Burwell was the one behind shutting down the Veterans Memorial?! (Slaps forehead - HARD).

Okay, I'm going for the Neti pot - I've got to get back to railing about these travesties!

JustaJeepGuy said...

I've been wondering since I heard the news about Hillary and The Shoe if it wasn't a staged thing. Hillary dodged the shoe too easily! I smell a conspiracy! Or is that just a shoe?

Dave Wallace said...

I stopped taking flu shots and the like long ago. They defeat natural immunity. I have not had so much as a head cold in twenty years.

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

Chuck Ef (and everyone): The html code to link articles is below - place an open carrot (<) in place of the * and a close carrot (>) in place of the **; 'url' is the pasted link of the site, and 'text' is the displayed message.

*a href="url"**text*/a**

Sorry to have to display the code this way, but the actual code would just show a link to text. You can use the bold and italic tags before and after the text.

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

@Stilton: If you're gonna use horseshoes, use the pavement ones, they have cleats - as granny used to say..."what's worth doing is worth doing right"!

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

OT, Dirty Harry involved in BLM land grab for son's Chinese Energy company - wants to build a solar plant on the land the BLM is trying to kick the rancher off - tortoises be d***ed!

From Breitbart:

Dirty Harry Land Grab

Sparky @ My Thoughts Exactly said...

@Grumpy Curmudgeon ~ RE: BLM Land. I am so very concerned for these ranchers. Whether they are right or wrong the slimeball Fed's SHOULD NOT show up with guns, snipers and dogs!! I fear we are heading towards another "Civil" War. Do you have a link to a story about Dirty Harry's son and their corruption please? I would like to blog about that and let the public know. Thanks GC!

Chuck Ef said...

@Grumpy -

Yup, that's what I did, alright.

@Doc -

Gonna check out that BlogAssist app. Wasn't aware of that. Thanks.

@Grumpy, part deux -

Yeah, VERY concerned about this Fed land grab stuff as we all should be. This is the true nature of the Dem-progs. Power, oppression, authoritarianism. Look at the early 20th Century (Woodrow Wilson and chums) and the chaos that followed.

REM1875 said...

"Come here my pretties" "Trust Me"
"My precious"