Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Hope n' Change believes that the cartoon above illustrates the only conceivable reason that John Kerry put himself in the position of being photographed looking like a world-class dweeb at a time when it's critical to be projecting an image of American strength in the world.
We're not sure if Secretary Kerry's bike is an official "Hello Kitty" model, because every time we look closely at the picture our eyes fill with tears for our once-great nation. But perched atop the powderpuff pink girl's bike he couldn't look like more of a giant twinkie if he was shrinkwrapped in cellophane and had a rich creme filling.
And frankly, looking at the picture, we're not entirely sure if there's even a seat on that freaking bike, or if he just has a pole jammed up his butt (a condition he's grown accustomed to after most of his recent negotiation efforts).
The picture was snapped in Nantucket, and it's only with tremendous self-restraint that we're not turning that sentence into the beginning of an obscene limerick.
The photo, while compelling, may have broken too early to still command the news cycle on Saturday when Biking Barry heads off to Martha's Vineyard for two weeks of golfing, eating ice cream, wearing mom jeans, and generally mincing around while the world burns.
Vladimir Putin could not be reached for comment because, according to an official spokesperson, "he is laughing so hard he cannot breathe."