Monday, September 22, 2014
The Secret Service is in some not-too-secret trouble following an incident Friday in which a man with a knife climbed over the White House fence, ran 70 yards across the lawn, and then entered the White House through an unlocked front door.
Fortunately, and entirely unsurprisingly, neither the president nor his family were in the White House at the time, having left for a weekend retreat at Camp David. Not that one man with a knife could really do much damage anyway without access to ISIS's YouTube account.
Still, this breach of security raises some troubling questions. For instance, why didn't the Secret Service react immediately, why didn't the White House snipers shoot the intruder, why weren't the trained guard dogs released, and is it too freaking much to ask Barry to lock the damn front door to OUR house when he sneaks off for more golf?!
Subsequently, the president has expressed "full confidence" in the Secret Service. Then again he also had "full confidence" that Assad wouldn't use chemical weapons, that Iran would stop trying to build nukes, that Putin would leave Ukraine alone, and that Al-Qaeda was "on the run."
Interestingly, neither Obama nor the Secret Service has issued any statement that the knife-wielding intruder was not part of an evil plot by Joe Biden to take over the presidency. If you know when to read between the lines, we think that says a lot.
The intruder, Omar Gonzalez, has now been given medical care, hot meals, counseling, comfortable lodging, a Swedish massage, aromatherapy, a full complement of welfare services, permission to fly without identification or hassles from the TSA, and he'll eventually be given a comfortable home at an undisclosed location somewhere in the United States at taxpayer expense.
Only kidding! That's actually the president's "come on in, everybody's welcome" policy for the tens of thousands of illegal intruders who violate the borders and land of ordinary riff-raff Americans on a daily basis.
Gonzalez, on the other hand, got his ass arrested all to hell and gone for walking on Barry's lawn.