Wednesday, April 15, 2015

She Did Not Inhale

lefty lucy, liberal, progressive, political, humor, cartoon, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, clueless, young, red hair, green glasses, cute, democrat, hillary, campaign, 2016, menopause

Following Hillary Clinton's self-declaration that she is the once and future "Champion" of the downtrodden, Democrats have been scrambling to find any specific qualifications she has for the presidency. After all, her tenure as Secretary of State was disastrous, the debacle of "Hillary Care" set the party back for almost 20 years, and her list of personal scandals is even longer than the list of phone numbers in her husband's little black book.

Fortunately, the erstwhile journalists at Time Magazine have finally found one quality about Hillary which would make her a perfect president: she's post-menopausal.

According to an alleged psychiatrist (who gave his opinion in return for a free subscription to Time Magazine for his waiting room), "A woman emerging from the transition of perimenopause blossoms. It is a time for redefining and refining what it is she wants to accomplish in her third act. They are primed to handle stress well, and there is, of course, no more stressful job than the presidency."

Looked at another way, the statement seems to suggest that women who have not gone through menopause really aren't great candidates for political office or any other jobs which are stressful (which is, by the way, why they're called jobs). A "war on women" sentiment which still-fecund millennial women like Lefty Lucy would surely resent if uttered by a Republican.

Still, if this is the best endorsement of Hillary that the liberal media can come up with, so be it. If they can't have a candidate who represents "new blood," then one with "no blood" will have to do.

And Don't Forget...


24 comments:

Fred Ciampi said...

And don't forget; besides tax day, today is "the sinking of the Titanic" day. I can't help but wonder if there is a connection..... Hmm....

Geoff King said...

@ Stilton: For some reason I could not access today's post through my (mobile) Chrome browser as usual. I was forced to switch browsers. Chrome works fine on previous posts, just not today's. Also, I had left a comment which appears to have vaporized.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- I'm not at liberty to share Lucy's information until she's had a chance to look up "cuter than a bug's ear" to decide if she's flattered or offended. Millenials are baffled by the aphorisms of actual adults.

@Fred Ciampi- I'm now having visions of a Titanic crewmember trying to figure out his taxes, cursing at the impenetrable language, and then - too late - looking up to see an iceberg dead ahead.

@Geoff King- I've had a couple of other reports about intermittent problems with Chrome. I'm not doing anything different on my end. Maybe Hillary could help us out, what with her being an expert on computer servers and mobile devices...

Geoff King said...

Hilarity - the voice of the common American - who, just like her, have lived in mansions for the last 40 years, have not bought our own groceries for just as long, have not driven a car for decades, have only have worked as a lawyer and politician, and make a quarter million for 20 minute speechs at colleges. Yup, she certainly has a grasp on the needs of us common folks.

Japheaux said...

The haiku side of my brain is not awake yet, but the limerick side has been up for hours:


Some on the left said, "Don't pick her,"
You'll get a great shock from the sticker.
While a cigar won't suffice,
Huma's tongue would feel nice,
As the new Oval Office lily-licker.

Gang of One said...

@Stilton- the MSM and the Usual Suspects™ are trying to find anything that can be sold to masses who are not brain-dead Leftoids. Meanwhile, Hillary and her campaign sink further and further into surreal, Orwellian Newspeak, or Nonspeak, as we all look on in incredulity.

And of course, the Perennial Sycophants® who declared that certain words or phrases are not to be used by the fawning mediots, an anonymous group has been doing mischief with the forbidden vocabulary.

This is going to be a very interesting election cycle.

Chuck McCarroll aka Marine4Ever said...

Gotta love that Lucy!

John the Econ said...

Wow. Again, just who is it conducting this supposed "war on women"? Had this suggestion come from anywhere to the right of Time Magazine, there'd already be torches lit and pitchforks deployed by the feminist alphabets. And yet, this is the first I've heard of this.

So does this mean that pre-menopausal women are not "ideal candidates for leadership"? Good to know the next time the "gender pay gap" debate comes up. I'll just argue that the author of "Moody Bitches" said so in Time Magazine while shilling for Hillary.

Speaking of Hillary in action: Saw Hillary last night on the evening news coverage of her "listening tour". A reporter asked her what she learned today, and she seemed to be caught off guard and had that deer-in-headlights look, and then prattled on nonsensically with "empty sounds, hand gestures, and facial expressions". (Thank you, @Gang of One) Hillary, that was a softball from media people who like you! Bill would have slammed that one out of the park. If you aren't prepared for softballs like that at your own PR parade, how will you possibly deal with real questions from real reporters, much less a debate from a competent conservative candidate?

Up front, we're seeing the difference between Bill & Hillary; Bill knew how to schmooze a room and the media, and was ready for any question at any time. Hillary does not. In addition, Hillary is a victim of the "Taranto Principle", which is where leftist politicians are so protected from having to answer real questions about real issues, that when she gets exposed to reality, she clearly doesn't know how to deal with it. If anything, this, along with her sheer arrogance will likely be her downfall.

Re Chrome: I don't think it's specifically this page that Chrome has a problem with, but with the link to Time Magazine. Chrome on my desktop could crash the page whenever I tried to click that link.

Clearly, I'm not the only one offended by Time magazine anymore.

John the Econ said...

Oh, and I forgot to post this on "Tax Day". I am certain that as you are preparing to file your taxes and perhaps even writing large checks to the government, this will brighten your day. This is where much of your money will be going soon after it clears the bank. It includes some of our favorite topics here at H&C, including:

IRS incompetency
Illegal immigration
The "Earned Income Tax Credit" that has turned our tax system into a vehicle of welfare fraud.
...and the 2-million "undocumented aliens" that are documented enough to cheat the IRS & US Treasury out of $4-billion dollars a year, almost effortlessly. And many of them aren't even living here!

https://youtu.be/3eQZoXAU7X0

Happy Tax Day!!!

PRY said...

Na, she sucks!

boligat said...

Hillary is a dust mite. Especially Hillary. Oh, btw, did I mention that Hillary is a dust mite?

Dust Mite: An incredibly ugly, microscopic animal that feeds on dead skin cells and hair shed by humans. After feeding, dust mites defecate. The resulting fecal matter causes severe allergic reactions in the very humans that provide sustenance for the dust mite.

Anonymous said...

@Geoff King Chrome doesn't support Java and other plugins as of today. There is a workaround if you google Chrome 42 and looks at the chrome://flags/#enable-npapi flag

John the Econ said...

Believe it or not, we did get a little honest clarity from Hillary yesterday, albeit for only a few moments:

"Shortly after the "bio" page on HillaryClinton.com went live, readers noticed that the text suggested Clinton was proud of being aggressive toward children.

“Hillary Clinton has served as U.S. Secretary of State, Senator from New York, First Lady of the United States and First Lady of Arkansas, but the first thing her friends and family will tell you is that she’s never forgotten where she came from or who she’s been fighting for,” the site read. “From her mother’s own childhood — in which she was abandoned by her parents — to her work going door-to-door for the Children’s Defense Fund to her battling to create the Children’s Health Insurance Program, she’s fought children and families all her career.”"


She's certainly fought mine.

Geoff King said...

Well, that was damn nice of Google to warn me that Java is no longer supported. Oh well, my native Android browser still supports it for now, and so does Firefox.

graylady said...

I cannot imagine any intelligent person voting for Hillary. This is a woman whose lust for power is so great, she is willing to put up with a pondscum sucking husband who for years has humiliated her in just about every way possible. (I'd have a hell of a lot more respect for her if she left Slick Willy.) Any one who wants power that desperately should NOT be President.

Dr. Roger Harris said...

"...there is, of course, no more stressful job than the presidency."

Unless, of course, it's the job of having to come up with new lies (a la BHO and his cabinet)which all the Democrat 'sheeple'can swallow (again UNlike Hillary)!

Rod said...

Ms.Rodham-Clinton has three major league strikes against her already which are irrefutable; the replays are available. Three (count 'em: 3)national positions in which lies a LOT of potential but where which she accomplished almost nothing positive & a lot negative. Being on the resume is not enough; look at the record: First Lady of the U.S., U.S Senator, U.S.Secretary of State. All she's demonstrated in this time and these positions is a lack of personal character, ineptness, she's a lying, mean self-centered power-hungry bitch, an inept hypocrite & a corrupt career politician. The only way she's going to be elected is to buy it using fools; and we sure wonder what access & promises were made both here & overseas to gather the funds. Don't you think that might get some attention before November 2016? Even for otherwise intelligent liberals it would be risky to support her; that could become a huge set-back in otherwise very concerning but in-fact considerable gains over the last few years. It's not about Progressiveness with he;, it's all about HER. Why would she accept such a job in the Obama administration were it not for her intended misuse of the position? And sure-enough that's all coming out.

Respectfully: A well qualified, effective and & well-balanced woman in the Presidency; and this tiresome old bore are 2 entirely different situations.

chester arthur said...

This 'meeting the people while keeping them as far away as possible' tour is as spontaneous as Big Ben.As honest as a three card monte game in Times Square.As buoyant as the Titanic after picking up a few ice cubes for the first class passengers.It would be no less genuine if they painted a red stripe on the Hillahearse,got Huma a mohawk haircut,and had the hero of Benghazi emerge from the armoured mobile dungeon wearing a beige windbreaker smoking a cigar and calling everybody,'Pal'.They could call the whole thing the 'Pity The Fools'tour.

bobtater said...

You know Lincoln signed the first income tax law and it pissed Booth off so bad that he shot him. There does that make you realize why you feel this way every April 15.

JustaJeepGuy said...

I'd say we're doomed. All the people who voted for Barack Hussein solely on the basis of the color of his skin will vote for Hillary solely on the basis of her sex. You can count on that. They couldn't care less about qualifications, they just want to feel that they have done something "historic".

@bobtater,

I have heard that the real clincher that made Booth kill Lincoln was that Lincoln invited Frederick Douglass to the White House. Although the income tax might have been a factor...

Joseph ET said...

After we get a conservative President in 2017. Can the new Attorney General then charge and bring to trial any of our current criminals that Obama fails to provide amnesty for?

Hillary’s ONLY accomplishment so far is staying out of jail. That needs to change!

REM1875 said...

Must be the 16th, we just did the taxes, stomped all over the envelope so they think the post office did it.
Now we will do the divorce paper work for filing the taxes together on the 16th. Just kidding the wife should be over this in a week or 2.
Some traditions just keep on giving.

Colby Muenster said...

I just keep remembering back in 2007/2008 when the moonbats were trashing McCain for being old and out of touch. I guess those qualities are only bad if you're a Republican.

Perish the thought, but if this hateful bag is actually elected, we are in for four more years of a president "do nothing." Billary has had many decades of practicing "talk big, but take no action that you'll have to answer for." I remember her commenting once that she would NEVER write anything down because it could come back to bite here in her [substantial] ass.

Preaching to the choir here, but dammit, we can't afford 4 more years with a chickenshit president who won't make a tough decision because it could hurt their image or their friggin" party. Gimme somebody with a backbone, a brain, and who puts country before personal gain.

James Daily said...

My O My!!! The Muslim sitting with a Republican!!!! Probably the only time this has ever happened. Yep, the is Colon Powell on the right.