Depending on who you listen to, the new international trade agreements being negotiated by Barack Obama's administration will either guarantee American prosperity and strengthened relations with trading partners, or destroy American jobs and officially deliver ownership of everything to the filthy rich World Illuminati Council (which may or may not be a subsidiary of the Clinton Foundation).
The agreements are the TISA, dealing with Europe and South America, and the TPP, which deal with Asian nations. And if you don't know much about these agreements, well, you're not alone - because the White House is keeping the details secret.
This puts Hope n' Change in an uncomfortable position; the Wall Street Journal and Charles Krauthammer have voiced support for the trade agreements, and Republicans are largely in favor. Meanwhile, Democrats are voicing strong objections - which is, after all, what Democrats do. Normally, we'd call this a slam dunk in favor of the trade agreements.
But balancing this, the agreements are being pushed by Barack "I Despise America and Capitalism" Obama, and we've already seen how his little "secrets" work out in things like Obamacare and the Iranian negotiations. And we keep hearing rumors (from Wikileaks, among others) that some of the secret language in Barry's agreements goes way beyond what would normally be considered "trade issues" and intrudes into areas relating to free speech, the climate, intelligence gathering procedures, and free healthcare for terrorists.
Okay, we made up that last one - but that doesn't mean it's not in there. The point is that we don't know, and nobody in Washington should support any binding agreements from this administration which haven't been read and discussed in their entirety and given a public hearing.
As one wit observed, "pass it to see what's in it" is the definition of a stool sample. This time, we've at least got a chance not to get splattered when the trade agreements hit the fan.
BONUS: SNIPPY REMARKS
We hope Caitlyn lives happily ever after - but even more importantly, privately ever after.