Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Squeeze Player

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, squeeze, new year
And don't neglect the paperwork afterwards.
In a final effort to suck the last iota of optimism out of Americans as the new year approaches, Barack Obama has declared that he intends to spend the next 12 months "squeezing every ounce of change" out of our country.

As verbs go, "squeezing" is at once unappealing and even threatening - calling to mind things like squeezing blood from a stone (or taxpayer) or applying crushing pressure to forceps in a federally-funded Planned Parenthood clinic. By its very nature, squeezing suggests a goal to which there will be resistance...and a bad outcome for that which is being squeezed.

To date, the president hasn't announced the specifics of what he intends to squeeze, preferring to make it "a surprise" much like the kind received by those who opened their door to the Boston Strangler.

But it's a safe bet that some of his choke holds will be applied to causes known to be close to his cold, withered, community-organizing heart. Like increasing the flood of immigrants (only a sprinkling of whom want to commit mass murder), stifling business and the economy to combat "climate change," making more Americans dependent on entitlements (and voting for the right party) to survive, and the further destruction of our healthcare system.

And because he is seemingly tireless, in the midst of all this chaotic change he'll also manage to squeeze in another 52 rounds of golf.

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, squeeze, new year
Don't laugh - in this picture, you're Curly.

25 comments:

Geoff King said...

Besides the changes Stilton mentions, I suspect King Hussain may attempt to squeeze the following minor tweaks of our country, by Executive Order, during his final year with the title of president:
1) Eliminate that pesky two term clause.
2) Declare himself Supreme Leader for life.
3) Fire all of congress as being an irrelevant entity.
4) Elect his own hand picked Politbureau.
5) Change the Supreme Court to the "Sharia Law Court".
6) Change the American flag to the Gay Pride flag.
7) Change the name of the country from U.S.A. to U.S.S.A.
I wonder if future historians will claim that America ceased to exist in 2016, or in 2008 - when the Great Destructor took office?

Judi King said...

Sorry I doubted you. This statement of the dic's was so outrageous I didn't believe he really said it, so I checked for the truth and apparently he did say it. The "man" is so evil and destructive to this country that sometimes I just have to sit and cry. And our stupid congress keeps letting him get away with his nonsense. He is a traitor and an embarrassment to this country. Everything he says and does is anti-American (even golf was invented somewhere else). Anyway, here's hoping all of you have a better new year than the last one.

Rod said...

You're finishing 2015 with a sprint, Stilt. This is yet another good one of several in a row.

R's think they're putting up resistance, I even got a note from our U.S.House Rep. about all the good conservative stuff in the omnibus bill; so they must be getting some flak about that vote. But the general lack of resistance, FROM THE ALSO-FAKE SOB's WE ELECTED TO PUT SOME UP, is what empowers this sorry excuse for a POTUS to keep saying this stuff. HEY TEAM! How about actually leaving the weigh-in behind in 2016 and getting into the fight? My memory is not what it was but I keep notes. Do you really expect another vote from me? We need to be developing other alternatives.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Geoff King- I think historians will mark the passage of Obamacare (and by "passage" I mean "blatant ramming through") as the real beginning of the end. Barry had already committed other mischief, but I think Obamacare is the tumbling domino which will do the most damage (taken in combination with the other pressures this president has put on our economy and culture).

And I hope that Barry doesn't institute the changes you've listed, but I'll admit that very little would surprise me anymore.

@Judi King- Believe it or not, I actually try to make sure my news stories and quotes are accurate and truthful (unless I throw in something so wildly ludicrous that I think everyone will know I'm joking). And despite the playful tone of today's editorial, I'm genuinely appalled by the notion of this jackass "squeezing" more change out of our already wounded nation. He didn't say he was going to work in a bipartisan way or listen to the people - rather, he made it clear that he's going to go to whatever lengths he can (usually unconstitutional) to force what he wants on us.

I don't want to end 2015 on a sour note, but I think Obama is going to go crazy with executive orders in 2016 and I'm not looking forward to it.

@Rod- I don't blame Paul Ryan entirely for the mess he inherited, but I'm sick to death of the GOP refusing to fight because "we inherited the situation" or "there's an election coming up." One or the other of those things is always true, which is why there's almost no discernible difference between now and the dismal days when the Dems had the presidency, House, and Senate.

American Cowboy said...

I know their are not only two of us in the entire United States of America, but I believe that Geoff King is pretty well on the mark with his comment.

The only question I really have is if there will be enough patriotic, legal, Americans who still love their country more than they love themselves and the handouts to take a constitutional stand for the ideals upon which this country was founded?

Fred Ciampi said...

How about if we all chip in and get obooboo 386 free passes to golf courses. 386 because that's how many days until he leaves office. (Link below) I like to sit in a corner of my room for hours and watch the countdown clock tick down. I get such pleasure from it. I keep wondering how this person got into office and remember that hitler made it with lies and cunning too. It's hard for me to believe that there are so many people who believe that he is doing good and vote for him. Well, them and the thousands upon thousands of dead people who still vote .... oh, and the illegals who are bused from polling place to polling place ... oh, and the nice black panthers who intimidate voters at the polling places ... I could go on but I'm almost out of 190 proof hillbilly coff medicine. I pray that God blesses America again. And hope that the veterans (myself included) don't get too pissed ..... 'nuff said.

http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/generic?p0=263&iso=20170120T00&msg=Time%20left%20until%20Obama%20leaves%20office

TrickyRicky said...

I am Curly Hebdo.

Bruce Bleu said...

I can hear la"MOE"nt exclaiming "America... I'll MOIDAH you!"

But, Stilt, the beginning of this post reminds me of the quip "what do you get if you kick the sh*t out of a politician? A pile of skin!" I, personally, don't WANT lamont to be "regular", because THAT would mean he'd have the ability to crap on our Constitution even MORE!

chef621 said...


Satan only has the POWER over us that we give him!

God is allowing us to experience what it’s like to go through life without putting Him in charge of our life.

How can you tell who is in charge?

1 Samuel 8:7

“They have not rejected you they have rejected me.”

God makes no apologies for His actions. Why? Because He is perfect!

Who knows the mind of God?


Romans 11:33

“O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!”

Oh, what a wonderful God we have! How great are his riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his methods!

ARE WE AFRAID TO FOLLOW GOD.

A. Dumas said...

You know guns will be a prime focus of an Obama Royal Edict....

John the Econ said...

I'm afraid that I've got to agree with @Stilton; ObamaCare, which was explicitly designed to destroy what was left of private care in America will be seen as the straw that broke the camel's back; Most freedom-loving people could survive most of the pain dished out by the Progressives over the last decade. But once the government owns your medical care, they own you. Just look at how the veterans have been treated if you still have any doubts. The Progressive establishment has little use for retired or infirmed military people who typically don't vote Democrat, so they're left to languish and go away. Illegal aliens, on the other hand, are quite useful to them, so they can walk into any hospital and get treated immediately.

So you have to ask yourself: How useful are you to the Progressive cause? If the answer is "not much", you have cause to worry.

As to what other "change" Obama planning for next year, I'd expect various executive actions regarding guns and "climate change". Guns, because disarming the middle class is just as important as controlling their health care, and "climate change" because it's the excuse to control everything else.

John the Econ said...

This just in:

Bill Cosby charged with aggravated assault in 2004 encounter, could face jail

Which begs a question: Why is Bill Cosby who has been accused by multiples of women facing possible jail time while Bill Clinton, who has also been accused by multiples of women, remains free and a national hero? Why does Camille Cosby's loyalty earn her scorn while Hillary Clinton, who viciously attacked Bill's multiple victims, gets to continue her trot to the White House?

Considering that Clinton is white, and Cosby is black, I've been waiting for the grievance crowd to speak up on this glaring contradiction, but I expect that wait will be in vain. Cosby was very vocal in his scorn of the politically-protected thug culture, and the damage that black Americans have been doing to themselves for decades. His defense won't be coming from that direction.

Such is the knot that post-modern Progressivism ties itself into. Donald Trump made it clear yesterday that Bill Clinton was "fair game" should Hillary inevitably pull her "woman card". I'm no a fan of a President Trump, but I do have to admire that he's the only one out there willing to go there.

PRY said...

Ah, squeeze this, Obummer!

Have a happy new year regardless, fellow serfs!

PRY said...

chef621, amen my friend!

Shelly said...

Whatever he decides to do, it won't be of benefit to all of us in flyover country. On the other hand, his overreach could have consequences on the 2016 election. If you think folks are angry now, it can only get worse. I recently learned that since 1970, when Social Security increases became tied to the cost of living, there have only been three years in which recipients did not receive an increase, all during his lord and master's reign: 2010, 2011 and now 2016. Coincidentally all the time I've been on SS. So there's plenty of money for climate change, refugees, illegals, Hawaiian vacays and the lot, but us seniors and our veterans, well none for you, suckers.

Rod said...

In the news: Someone just tried to burn down Bill Clinton's first home in Hope Arkansas. One wonders if it was an old girlfriend, Hillary, or someone for POTUS.

Fully unrelated (I am most definitely NOT threatening anyone unless they bring it to me on my turf): Recently found a great deal on double ought 12 gauge Buckshot loads and bought two cases. Normally that would last the rest of my life and my kids', and probably a few buddies as well. Now & in nearer term; maybe not.

Judi King said...

@ Shelly: Yeah, you're right. The SS increase tied to the cost of living is nonsense. It's a totally manipulated, phony figure, not to mention that SS has been paid for by those of us who actually worked AND their employers, and should have been set aside and invested for that use only instead of being stolen for every other stupid cause the government needs money for.

Pete (Detroit) said...

SS is, and always has been, a Ponzi Scheme, requiring the payments of today's workers to pay for yesterday's retirees. Given the demographics I, who turn 52 in two days, will likely never recover *any* of the $$$ I've been pumping into the system for the past 32 years...
As I said 16 (ish) years ago, when W brought up privatization, they can keep the 1/2 the employer pays, and let me invest the other 1/2, and I'll be happy.
Of course, that would force them to admit there *is* NO "trust fund" or "lock box" and it's all been pissed away, on Cash For Clunkers, for instance..

Fooking Arse hats...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@American Cowboy- That is the big question. I've encountered very few people who are more concerned with using their vote for the betterment of the country (and our future) than for self-interest in the here and now. I shake my head at self-declared "conservatives" who, in the past, told me the voted for Obama's 2nd term because their investments were doing well.

@Fred Ciampi- Speaking of voting fraud, did you see a few days ago that a major database of voter information (pretty much every voter - 140 million, if I recall) was left unguarded on the web? Pretty handy for anyone who might want to fake a lot of votes...

@TrickyRicky- That is a great line.

@Bruce Bleu- I'd like to think that if Barry really was more "regular," he'd poop himself out of existence.

@chef621- For those religious or not, we are all clearly combatants on a moral battlefield now.

@A.Dumas- (Head slap) I meant to put that in the commentary. You're right.

@John the Econ- The question you pose, "how useful are you to the Progressive cause," is a huge and important one. I'm currently fighting MORE idiot battles with Obamacare, all of which is exhausting and certainly none of which has anything to do with prolonging or improving my quality of life.

I was contacted for "proof" of my income next year (a nice trick for the self-employed) and so Healthcare.gov demanded that I send them a copy of my most recent tax return, which I did. Then I started getting letters that said "we still need proof, or your insurance will be dropped." Then phonecalls- Healthcare.gov said "we got your envelope, but nothing inside." Great This means that all of my personal and financial data fell into other hands - perhaps being sold directly on the black market by someone at the Healthcare.gov mail room.

So I had to email another copy of my tax return. But first I was told that I had to change my application to indicate a higher income than I had previously (thereby raising my rates). But why? "Your estimate needs to be within 20% of what your actual income turns out to be," I was told, "and according to your taxes your income was higher than what your estimate was." And why was that? Because Healthcare.gov is basing what I'll pay on my Adjusted Gross Income rather than my taxable income. In other words - they simply throw out all of my itemized deductions.

SOooo, my personal data is missing, my account is under review under threat of terminating my insurance, today is the last day that my preferred doctor is covered under my insurance policy, and I have no freaking idea what my insurance is going to cost.

Bottom line: it makes me wonder if the whole system is this inept (entirely likely) or, owing to my politics, have I been targeted for "convenient" bureaucratic errors which will steal my time and assets? I wish it wasn't a question that I have to consider seriously.

Regarding the Clinton/Cosby sexual abuse disparity, I'd like to see the "resentment" crowd finally resent something worthwhile - but I don't think it will ever happen. The dirty little secret on the left is that women are largely viewed only as ambulatory genitalia, put on Earth for guilt-free, responsibility-free sexual activity. So while their actions were much the same, Clinton gets a free pass because everyone knew not to trust him (ie, blame the victim) while Cosby was theoretically trustworthy. It's a hot moral mess.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@PRY- Indeed.

@Shelly- You really can tell Obama's priorities by watching where the money goes. And it's not going to you nor me.

@Rod- Before they spend too much time looking for an arsonist at Clinton's birth home, authorities should check to see if there was a well-aimed lightning bolt.

@Pete(Detroit)- Even for those who WILL collect Social Security, it's a statistical certainty that they'll never get back what they would have had if their contributions had gone into a simple stock index fund. Moreover, such a fund would leave an inheritance to survivors - unlike Social Security.

And of course there is no lockbox. The money has long been spent - and by "spent" I mean flagrantly wasted.

@Readers- By the way, according to Drudge this morning, Barry has started his final "squeeze" with a vengeance. Today (New Years Eve) he's issuing an executive order which bypasses Congress in order to give work permits to an additional 100,000 foreign college grads who will be taking jobs from the few domestic college grads who managed (or aspired) to get a job better than burger flipping.

There is no logical purpose for this other than the increasing destabilization of our job market. It's going to be a long and bloody year...

ONLYINAMERICA said...

I squeeze out an obama each and every morning; it's one of the only things left in this miserable life I enjoy doing.

John the Econ said...

"I was contacted for "proof" of my income next year (a nice trick for the self-employed)..."

Indeed! Exactly how does one not employed by the welfare state prove income into the future? (I would have probably lost it had a bureaucrat made that request of me)

This is just another great example of how the bureaucrat class thinks. If you're a government employee, the fact that you are a government employee means that you're income next year, and the year after that, and practically forever is virtually guaranteed. For those of us who own & run businesses, nothing is guaranteed. The economy could slow down, we could get sick, a regulatory change could put us out of business, or we could simply choose to sit it out and our income would stop. Even if we were ordinary employees, no such guarantee exists.

"...it makes me wonder if the whole system is this inept (entirely likely) or, owing to my politics, have I been targeted for "convenient" bureaucratic errors which will steal my time and assets? I wish it wasn't a question that I have to consider seriously."

Actually, both. For the first, remember, government today is largely a "make work" program for the millions of over/under educated minions produced by our over-subsidized "higher education" system. (In most of Europe, most college graduates expect to get employed by the government; not private industry) Most of these people are of little use in any real economy where productivity must be quantified.

Second, it's not you personally. I've long argued that the Progressive state has been at war with "independent" citizens for decades. We are free-thinking, question and don't wish to submit to arbitrary authority, and as such are difficult to control en-masse like a general corporate employee with the "golden handcuffs" is. Democrats pay a lot of lip-service to "small business" and how the hate "big business, but the reality is quite the opposite. They actually see us as the enemy because of the traits formentioned, and because there are just too many of us to effectively control, even with a crushing bureaucracy doing it's best. It's much easier to co-opt and control a handful of mega-corporations than it is tens-of-millions of Stiltons and Econs.

In this context, it's easy to see why a Warren Buffet would endorse Hillary Clinton versus a Ted Cruz.

I don't want to expand on this now, but there was a hint of a proposal a few months ago from Malcolm O'Malley in response to the "Uber Economy" that is an example of where I think they are going; a paradigm where all entities that employ "independent contractors" would no longer pay the contractors directly, but the government, which would then withhold the various taxes and premiums for your ObamaCare, and then cut you a check for what's left. This will all be done in the name of "protecting" the "independent contractor", but we all know better. It will be about controlling us, as well as "protecting" established and preferred monopolies by making independent contracting too expensive and non-competitive against established players. It's part of the war on the individual.

If a Democrat gets elected next year, then expect to see this in 2017.

So don't take it so personally. They're after all of us who refuse to be assimilated. Good luck in 2016 with your ObamaCare.

The Clinton/Cosby sexual abuse disparity: Of course, we agree that Progressive feminism (mainly the Sandra Fluke "free sex" variety) has been an utter disaster for women. But your observation about the persecution of Cosby because he was "trustworthy" and the pass for Clinton because we already knew he was slime is brilliant. I'll be propagating that meme.

Happy New Year.

Wahoo said...

At least in 12 months we'll be rid of the crazy lunch lady.

Joseph ET said...

Happy New Year to all !!

Anonymous said...

The Dear Leader hasn't wasted much time. He is considering "unilateral action to tackle the problem of gun violence in the US"
see: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-35211294

Obama said he would meet Attorney General Loretta Lynch to discuss possible actions.
He said he would seek to use his executive powers as president because the US Congress had failed to address the problem.

So if you don't get want you want constitutionally then just go the dictator route.

Welcome to the Democratic People's Republic of America!

Old Fart in Blighty