Not in "Yes We Can-sis" Anymore

CNN dished up a clinking, clanking collection of caliginous junk in the guise of a GOP debate on Wednesday night - a three hour marathon promoted like a WWE event (complete with a clanging fight bell and growling announcer in radio ads), with questions - particularly in the first hour - designed to cause maximum infighting between the candidates.

Happily, CNN's strategy was not entirely effective, as many candidates eventually got a chance (or created one) to actually advance policy ideas and demonstrate their knowledge about a variety of important issues. Carly Fiorina, Marco Rubio, and Chris Christie were particular standouts, with most of the other candidates holding their own.

But of course, Donald Trump was the center of attention - and frankly, Hope n' Change doesn't think he scored any better in this debate than he did the last one (of which we opined "he basically stunk up the stage"). Not that the after-debate polls didn't score him favorably - people are still going crazy (perhaps literally) over his bombastic dog and pony show.

To be sure, Trump has provided a hugely valuable service by throwing political correctness out the window to identify real problems, talking back to the press, and giving a voice to voters who feel betrayed by both political parties.

But...

It continues to be clear that Trump is running on personality rather than substance; exhibiting a contagiously appealing vagueness mirroring that used by Barack Obama back in 2008. A phenomenon which we call "Yes We Can-sis." But, Toto, America is not in "Yes We Can-sis" anymore...or at least, it shouldn't be.  Platitudes make for frighteningly flimsy platforms.

Make no mistake: Hope n' Change would enthusiastically vote for any of the GOP candidates, including Trump, rather than any of the nightmare choices being offered up by the Left.  But we're frankly concerned by the idea that Americans increasingly seem to be unable to tell the difference between "reality TV" and reality itself.

BONUS: TICK TOCK TECH TALK

Following a misunderstanding in which a Muslim high school student was briefly arrested for bringing a homemade clock to school which looked (to concerned authorities) like a bomb, Barack Obama has invited the lad to the White House in order to highlight the stupidity and racism of people who think that Muslims and/or bombs could ever present a threat to anyone.

The boy, Ahmed Mohamed, did nothing wrong bringing his invention to school. Hope n' Change believes that authorities also did nothing wrong in being suspicious of a device which looks nothing like a clock (and perhaps wasn't meant to), and is in fact a circuit board, power source and tangle of wires which would function quite nicely as a timed detonator if that had been the intent.

Sure! It's a clock! Yeah - that's the ticket!

We're sorry for Ahmed (although he's now a hero to everyone on the Left), but we don't appreciate Obama's none too subtle mockery of the authorities who were simply trying to protect innocent lives.

After all, one doesn't have to think very far back to remember another seemingly harmless Muslim kid who didn't get arrested for carrying a backpack containing an innocent-looking pressure cooker to the finish line of the Boston Marathon. Until, of course, it was too late.

Not Taking Debate

The second round of GOP debates happens tonight, but there still hasn't been a single debate on the Democratic side of the fence. And it's not surprising - even Debbie Wasserman-Schultz knows that the lunacy being spewed by DNC candidates needs to be hidden from public view as long as possible.

As a case in point, consider the fact that "Democratic Socialist" Bernie Sanders is proposing government expansions which would cost taxpayers an additional $18 trillion over the next decade. Among these expansions are universal healthcare which is even more universal than Obama's universal healthcare, which we think involves having Stephen Hawking find pathways to universes with more than four dimensions.

Bernie is also proposing universal (Earth rules are so limiting) free public college for everyone. His goal is to use education to lift people out of $15 an hour minimum wage jobs flipping burgers at McDonalds so that they can eventually become the CEO of McDonalds and earn $15 an hour maximum wage after taxes.

Meanwhile, Hillary has released a new campaign ad which taxes our ability to believe how freaking clueless her handlers are...

Yes, the woman who for decades handled Bill Clinton's "bimbo eruptions" by destroying the lives of his accusers and inventing "vast Right wing conspiracies" is now claiming to have a sympathetic ear for the victims of sexual assault. Unless, as mentioned above, they happen to be treated as sex slaves and property in Middle Eastern countries which have contributed heavily to the Clinton Foundation.

And finally, we'd hope that any Democratic debate would also find room for Joe Biden on stage...

Charmin Offensive

When the Democrats make Comedy College free, we hope to get enough course credits to move beyond the sophomoric.

The company which was holding Hillary Clinton's email server now acknowledges that it may not have been "wiped" after all. And of course, if Hillary didn't wipe, she also didn't wash her hards of potentially incriminating evidence, all of which means that the few supporters who are turning out to shake her withered talons are likely to be exposing themselves to a nasty dose of email e-coli. Or, uh, something.

See, that's about as close as we can get to making jokes today. Hope n' Change still hasn't pulled out of our annual 9/11 black mood (and yes, friends, #BlackMoodsMatter) - especially when we see the continuing idiocy and lack of seriousness in the news.

For instance, while we're of the opinion that Hillary should be huddled in the corner of a dank prison cell fighting the other rats over stale bread crumbs and fetid water, she just appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres show to dance the "Nae Nae," whatever the living hell that is (we chose to say "nay, nay" rather than actually watch the video. We're hanging on by a thread already.)

Meanwhile, Iran just "happened" by wild coincidence to discover that they were sitting on a huge, previously unreported supply of uranium ore - right after Obama and the Dems sealed the deal to (ahem) "cripple" Iran's nuclear ambitions by making it harder for them to obtain uranium from outside their borders. Oopsie!

And of course, Europe is drowning in Muslim refugees who will forever change the culture and demographics of their new homelands. And that's the best case scenario which assumes that the refugees, 72% of whom are males under 40, aren't serving as a cover for a flood of head-chopping, child-raping, Christian-crucifying ISIS whackjobs. (See, this is why the motto on the Statue of Liberty specifically says to give us your tired and your poor rather than your angry young militants.)

So excuse us for misplacing our sense of humor temporarily, but it will soon be back. The sky is still blue, the grass green, we live in the greatest country on Earth, and that's nothing to sniff at.

As Bill said to Hillary just before she threw a lamp at him.