Friday, February 5, 2016
As if the fever-pitch excitement surrounding the primary season hadn't been ramped up enough, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders faced off last night in another Democratic debate which we definitely would have watched had we been tied to a chair, Clockwork Orange-style, with our eyes held open by surgical clips.
This was the first one-on-one debate between the two aging socialists, after Martin O'Malley shocked the nation this week by announcing that he'd also been a candidate this whole time without anyone noticing.
Hillary entered the debate with positive momentum, thanks to her infinitesimally small and statistically unlikely "win" in Iowa, as well as a suspiciously convenient "surprise" announcement by the State Department yesterday claiming that former Secretaries of State Condoleezza Rice and Colin Powell both had instances of classified information transmitted via personal email accounts.
Powell brushed off the allegation, adding "Should (Hillary) have had a private server? Did she use it for classified information? I don't know and I don't want to know." Which, frankly, we think would be a catchy campaign slogan that all of Hillary's followers can embrace.
BONUS: OLD FACEFULL
Following his visit to a mosque in Baltimore on Wednesday, Barack Obama spoke at the National Prayer Breakfast on Thursday to prove that, in the best tradition of what makes America great, he can be totally obnoxious no matter which faith he's pandering to.
Last year, the president used the occasion to attack Christianity for violent acts committed during the Crusades. A sad, blood-soaked period which predated sensible gun control.
This year, Mr. Obama chose to describe our nation as one filled with "fear and anger" owing to the harsh voices on the Right, our overreaction to acts of terror, the vertigo-inducing nightmare of income inequality and, just as predicted in the final words of the Book of Revelation, "eroding shorelines."
Be it mosque, church, synagogue, or prayer breakfast, we find it impossible to take Barack Obama's faith or piety seriously. He displayed no interest in Christianity prior to seeking public visibility and political connections through Reverend Jeremiah Wright's church in Chicago - and later claimed not to have heard or remembered a single (anti-American) sermon.
But lest we seem too cynical, Hope n' Change would like to point out that next year's breakfast will be hosted by a different president. And to us, that's proof that prayers are eventually answered.