Monday, February 1, 2016

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Vote

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, iowa, caucus

Tonight the various contenders wishing (or in many cases obsessing) to become President of the United States will get their first real test in the Iowa caucuses. The caucus (meaning "a gathering of Caucasians") process involves Iowans grouping together to publicly debate which candidates have spent the most money in the state.

Following these impassioned discussions (frequently peppered with expletives like "gosh durn it!" and "hold on thar!") the Republicans cast traditional secret ballots for their candidates, while the Democrats wave their hands in the air, shout, steal supporters from other groups, and eventually come to agreement via arm wrestling.

Still, the results in Iowa are very, very important because...uh...they're first.  Not because the state is a good predicter of national results (it isn't), and not because the state has demographics which "look like America" (it doesn't). But still, Iowa is first for a very good reason: because they called "dibs."

According to the latest polls, things are wattled-neck and neck between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders amongst the Democrats, while on the GOP side Donald Trump is predicted to edge out Ted Cruz. Which is why later this week we'll get to see...

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, mosque, baltimore, islam

In order to attack the alleged Islamaphobia of the eventual GOP winners in Iowa, Barack Hussein Obama will be visiting an American mosque in Baltimore which is apparently in a part of town that mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake did not give to protesters to destroy.

This will be Mr. Obama's first visit to an American mosque as president, a trip long-delayed because, according to White House spokesman Josh Earnest, "the president's golf spikes really tear the hell out of prayer rugs."

Obama is going to the mosque "to celebrate the contributions Muslim Americans make to our life," and indeed there are many. Just off the top of our heads, for instance, we can thank them for greatly increased national security measures, a decrease in sun-related skin cancers amongst women wearing burqas, a more diverse view of what constitutes "a clock," and heightened awareness that, despite the similarity in names, San Bernadino and San Bernardino are two different soft targets.

28 comments:

Jim G. said...

Well all I have to say about that is "Aloha Snack Bar."

Jim G.

Geoff King said...

Slightly off topic, but relevant to why I no longer give a damn about the obviously fixed voting process: I am a registered Libertarian. I just recieved a pamphlet from the Coconino County Elections Board (where my town of Flagstaff lies). In the upcoming primaries, only "recognized parties will be allowed to vote". These include the 10's of thousands of registered Republicans and Democrats naturally, and only one other party. That party is the Green Party with 223 registered voters. My Libertarian Party,the 3rd largest party in the entire USA with almost 800 registered voters in this county, is not invited.
Obviously anyone who believes in the Constitution has no place in deciding the outcome of an election.

Fred Ciampi said...

In the words of the mighty warrior Chewbacca concerning the caucus; "Arrrrhhhhh arghhhh greaughhhh arrrrr arrrrr arrrr errrrughhhh". Which means "where's my moonshine because I need it to get through this day?".

Fred Ciampi said...

And Happy Birthday to your late Dad Stilt. Sounds like he was a wonderful Father with an equally wonderful sense of humor.

John the Econ said...

Ted Cruz got big points in my book the other week when he actually slammed ethanol subsidies and mandates, which is considered political suicide going into the caucuses in Iowa. It looks as though he'll run a close 2nd to Donald Trump. (Ethanol is a scam that not only hurts ordinary Americans in multiple ways through higher fuel costs, lesser efficiency, and damaged engines, but fails to deliver on its promises of "ecology" and "energy independence") In subsequent months, I expect that Cruz will use this as an argument that he actually beat Trump in Iowa in that had he worshiped at the altar of corn growers, he would have easily beaten him, and that he's willing to stand up to the establishment and crony capitalists.

Obama visits a Mosque: Whatever. As for Islamic contributions to civilization, you'll have to forgive me for being over it. If I have live being branded a racist, paranoid gun nut because some white nutcase ambushes a black church, then you're just gonna have to be stuck being associated with 911, the DC snipers, Fort Hood, Boston Marathon, Paris, San Bernardino, etc, etc, etc...

Oh, and it looks like we almost had to add Disneyland Paris to that list:

Man with 2 guns arrested at Disneyland Paris hotel

On a somewhat unrelated topic:

State Gave Its Workers In Flint Clean Water As It Assured Residents Taps Were Safe

"While residents were being told to relax and not worry about the water, the Snyder administration was taking steps to limit exposure in its own building"

As Bernie Sanders continues to sell his socialist dream to the satist faithful in Iowa, we get an example of how socialism really works in Flint. When the state owns both the roles of "provider" and "regulator", it will always choose what's in the best interest of "the state" and it's most favored employees first. In this case, state employees, having become aware of the water problem in Flint, made sure that their water was safe while the residents of the city didn't become aware of the seriousness of the problem for over 6 months.

Of course, had this been a private water company, this likely never would have happened. And if it had, heads would have rolled, and far sooner. If BP had flooded a Colorado river with millions of gallons of toxic sludge instead of the EPA, heads would have been chopped by now and it would still be at the top of the evening news.

I've always found it amusing, if not annoying, that it's only socialist theory that gets compared against capitalist realty. But there's already plenty of socialist reality all around us to compare against.

Meanwhile, soon those responsible for the VA will be totally responsible for your health care too...

Bruce Bleu said...

I think every "mosk" in America should be visited by "bomb-sniffing" pigs, (y'know, the ones who washed out of truffle-sniffing school). lamont should be incarcerated in a "mosk" while the investigation regarding his anti-Constitutional acts in the White House is being investigated!

Colby Muenster said...

Election after election, political pundits always make a big deal over the Iowa Caucuses, and simultaneously downplay its significance. Huh? I would not be in the least surprised if Santorum won again, especially since Trump snubbed the latest debate, and Cruz dissed ethanol. I'm still going to enjoy the hell out of it if Billary gets to "feel the Bern" (that saying is kind of gross when you think about it with a dirty mind).

John the Econ,

Well, the Arabs DID give us the number zero (supposedly), and the current occupant of our White House could be considered proof of that.

NVRick said...

Two pithy observations: Shouldn't we be referring to everyone in Idaho, er, I mean Ohio, oh, dagnag it, IOWA, yeah, that's it, as CORNY capitalists?

Second, The EPA didn't muck up the rivers in CO, the company they contracted did. So why isn't the EPA coming down like a ton of sludge on that company? Isn't this the ultimate example of crony capitalism???

westernrifleshooters said...

I want me some of those bombsniffing swine.

CA
WRSA

Judi King said...

Cruz has always had points with me, but I admire him even more for not playing up to the ethanol BS. I don't even know anyone who uses it in their car. He's a most honest man.

Rod said...

Ethanol promoters want higher % blends but right now E10 is being forced upon most all of us or else pay big money for a premium blend that's all gasoline. I'm a record-keeping SOB and can tell you that my vehicle gets 6% less fuel economy and thus range using E10 instead of gasoline. That's NEVER discussed. And if one is considering going to E85; take a course in basic mathematics first. That penalty is more like 25%. That's the FUEL side of Ethanol. Shall we talk about the WATER side; other fuel consumed to make it; cropland, fertilizers & pesticides, erosion; waterway and Gulf of Mexico pollution; competition in the corn market; government subsidies, Brother-in-Law deals? Ethanol may have a legitimate niche in the overall fuel mix; but right now it's all hype and deceit.

Colby Muenster said...

Judi King,
In North Carolina where I live, you are hard pressed to find gasoline that doesn't have ethanol. And when you find it. It costs a lot more. I smell libtards at work.

John the Econ said...

@Rod, you are so right about ethanol and what a bad deal it is for consumers. Not only do you risk damage to your engines, you're actually paying more for a fuel that delivers less energy per gallon. E10 reduces fuel economy by at least 3%. E85, which the corn lobby and the EPA have been trying to force on us for some time now gets 25% less.

Get it? The same EPA that is mandating that cars that get 50% better mileage by the next decade also wishes to mandate a fuel that gets 25% less. There's no way to win competing with that math.

And this is for a fuel that saves no oil when costs of production is factored in, (water, fertilizer, processing, etc) creates more smog per-mile driven, requires more expensive and inefficient transport, (since it can't be run through pipelines) is responsible for more CO2 emissions, (not less) damages engines, and cannot be stored for long periods of time before degrading. (A rude surprise to Chevy Volt owners.

If "big oil" had come up with the idea of such an inefficient & wasteful, literally "watered down" fuel, Ralph Nader and the usual Progressive chorus would be fit to be tied and going to war in Washington to outlaw it. But just because it's endorsed by the government, they think it's great.

This is insanity, and another example of the madness one gets when big government starts mandating things without rational or economic consideration.

If there's a "legitimate niche in the overall fuel mix" for ethanol, I'm certainly not aware of it. Proponents argue that American consumers should have a choice in fuel. I agree. Let's allow competition by letting retailers sell both non-subsidized ethanol and non-ethanol-contaminated fuel and see which they prefer.

Oh BTW, I now live in a region that has far less ethanol in the fuel than where I used to live. Most of the time I don't have to buy premium to get it. I've got a old-enough-to-vote evil planet-killing SUV with a 5.0 liter V8 that I drive over 70 on mountain roads that now gets over 20 MPG!

Tim said...

Actually, our "Arabic" numerals were invented in ancient India.

Tim said...

Actually, our "Arabic" numerals were invented in ancient India.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Great comments above. As of 8:22 pm Monday I haven't yet checked in on the caucus results (I don't think anything definitive is supposed to break for a couple more hours). I'm hardly on pins and needles.

I do give Cruz points for standing up against the ethanol subsidy in Iowa. It's the right thing to do, and it's been damn rare lately to see someone choose what's right over what's politically expedient.

Regarding today's Hope n' Change tip of the hat to Islam, I don't really want to go out of my way to jab Muslim Americans, but Barry has got to start meeting me halfway by not singing their praises and rubbing our noses in it. I guess I'm particularly pissed off by the way the most successful terror attack on US soil since 9/11 has absolutely disappeared from the news and from any mention by the White House. The horror of the killings was bad enough, but had the remote detonator bombs gone off it would have been even worse.

But suddenly we're supposed to forget the terror attack never happened; it was just a bad dream that we woke up from when the sweetest sound on Earth, the Muslim call to prayer, was sung out from the president's bully pulpit. No thanks.

@Fred Ciampi- Thanks for the birthday shout-out to my Dad, who I think would have been 91 this year. I mentioned him today over at Johnny Optimism (and posted one of HIS cartoons) which I hope people will enjoy. I'm very much just a chip off the old block.

Popular Front said...

@Stilton - your Dad's cartoon would have fitted in well at the old National Lampoon (70s era), very Gahan Wilson-ish.

Judi King said...

Sorry, I didn't know that ethanol was pretty much mandated. I have seen signs on pumps that state "ethanol" and no one using them. My state, MI, has pretty high gas standards so I haven't seen any adverse effects on my car.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

All dis Iowas stuff be racist, enyway. It stands ta reason dat only Caucasians can caucus. Got dayum crackahs...

John the Econ said...

"The horror of the killings was bad enough, but had the remote detonator bombs gone off it would have been even worse.

One of the saving graces of the "war on terror" is that the vast majority of the fighters embedded here are far less than competent. That is not something that we can assume will stay that way forever. The reality is that this is a "bad dream" that is going to keep coming back with increasing frequency, and the Progressive answer to all of this is basically "submission".

You really can't say this is a surprise; a generation ago these same people would have "peacefully" submitted to becoming another communist satellite state had it not been for the tireless resistance of conservative Americans, who today I am afraid have both diminished in numbers proportional to the rest of the country, but have also lost their will to fight.

@Judi King, the federal government mandates that 17.4 billion gallons of biofuels be blended into our fuel. We don't get a choice in the matter. And at best, the adverse effect on your car is <3% lower mileage. Even Al Gore now repudiates ethanol, and in what must have been an accidental moment of candor, even admitted that he only supported it to survive the Iowa caucuses.

So again, Kudos to Ted Cruz for having the balls to do what even non-establishmentarian Donald Trump refused to do, and won anyway.

Pete (Detroit) said...

As far as I know, all MI gas is 10% Ethanol.
Adding in the 'pre-oxidizers' they do to make 'winter blend' (so a warming engine, that is programmed to use a little more fuel, actually gets less fuel in the fuel) further hitting you up for 2-3 mpg.. Damned bug humpers...

Guys on local Car Show push E85 all the time, I just want to smack the tar out of them...

Geoff King said...

Don't be dissing ethanol. What would Black Velvet be without it?

Stan da Man said...

Only dissin' it as a fuel...
We sued to import fuel, and export a lot of corn, and other grains
Now, we're turning corn into fuel, losing crop diversity, thrashing the land (corn is a crop that is NOT friendly to the ground) price of beef / pork (fed on corn) goes up, corn exports drop, people who used to eat it can't, and we're PAYING for all this.
Utter asshattery.
See also High Fructose Corn Syrup. If people don't want to believe that it's toxic and causing diabetes, that's fine. I'd like the FDA to ban it, but as a start we could quit pushing the price down.

Stan da Man said...

"sued" >> USED - yeesh...

John the Econ said...

@Stan da Man, the ethanol situation is probably one of the best single examples of practically everything that is wrong with Washington:

Crony capitalism.

How subsidies distort markets and cause harm to consumers and the environment.

How the unintended consequences of bad policy propagate through practically everything.

Environmental policy that's actually harmful to the environment.

"Energy independence from oil" policy that actually requires more oil than it replaces.

Total disregard for the consumer, which never wanted it.

How and why bad policy never goes away, even after being almost universally recognized as bad (even by Al Gore) it's practically impossible to stop it because of the subsidy feedback loop that has been created. (Money to farmers & processors funneled back to politicians)

That's why I am singing the praises of Ted Cruz today. He gets it, and unlike almost every other candidate, he stood up for what most of them know is right.

Colby Muenster said...

Geoff King,
Excellent point! Ethanol is definitely good for something besides making my 2004 Passat wagon misfire, which throws engine codes which means I can't pass inspection, which means I walk 45 miles to work.

Every year, I try and get my car to not throw engine codes for 40 miles by running super expensive high octane gas through it, then hurry to get it inspected. Older engines were not made to run on that crap, and who the hell in the real world can afford a new car?

Stan da Man,
There is nothing wrong with the amounts of HF corn syrup you might get eating an ear of corn with your Saturday cookout, but I find it no coincidence that diabetes is now rampant in the US. And the nutritionists used to quack about sucrose!

Judi King said...

RE: Corn/gas. I didn't know how bad this was. Thanks for the education. It seems the "I's" have it. More government...Interference, incompetence, ineptitude, ignorance, insensitivity, indolence and insanity. Do we have any hope left? It just gets worse, almost daily.

Judi King said...

PS: I forgot idiocy.