First and foremost, it should be pointed out that I came very, very close to not falling off the ladder this year, which is pretty good for a man my age. And weight. And lack of physical coordination.
I'd probably finished 90% of the gutter cleaning, which is absolutely one of my least favorite spring chores. Seriously, there are much better things to be doing on a beautiful Texas day than balancing on a ladder while scooping gutter smuck: a thick, stinking mix of mud, decaying leaves, acorns, fire ants, bird poop, skittering roly polies, mosquitoes, and aggressive slime molds.
I was on my way down the step ladder (about 3 feet up) when it took a sudden shift to the left (much like Hillary Clinton in the current election cycle) and I realized I was about to have An Adventure. I sort of jumped, sort of stepped down, sort of fell, and sort of landed on my feet. And a potted plant.
"Well played!" said Mr. Excruciating Pain, who had decided to join me on short notice.
It's likely that no lasting harm was done, but I definitely screwed up one hip, both knees, and my left calf. I can still get around, but it's not pretty; I look like a cross between a tightrope walker and Captain Ahab with tourette's syndrome.
This being the case, I'm foregoing political commentary today so that I can do a vigorous and restorative alcohol rub on my tongue (and other areas if the alcohol holds out). After which I'm officially adding "cleaning my gutters" to the list of jobs Americans won't do.
|In hindsight, we shouldn't have bought an ACME Instant-Fold Step Ladder.|
Bum leg or not, I couldn't let Hillary's blood-chilling statement go by without comment. Incidentally, Bernie Sanders echoed the same sentiment: the unborn have no constitutional rights or protections at any point in their gestation.
A long time ago, Barack Obama lied when he said that the question of when life begins was "above his pay grade." Apparently Hillary has no doubt: life begins when the government says so. Which will in time undoubtedly lead to life ending when the government says so. After all, why should the elderly have any rights after they're reclassified as "pre-deceased?"