Monday, September 5, 2016

Labor Dazed 2016

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As Labor Day statistics go, things were pretty pitiful again last month except for the "shovel ready" jobs noted above. There are now over 94 million people in the United States who aren't in the workforce and can't find jobs, which is one of the reasons that "violent crime" is such a popular career choice in Democrat-run Chicago.

You would think those numbers would constitute domestic terror on their face, but apparently the Left doesn't consider it terror as long as you A) spread the body count over a few days and B) mostly kill black people, including kids and young mothers. And nobody appears to give a rat's ass about changing this except, encouragingly, Donald Trump.

But despite the above, Labor Day Weekend remains a festive time in American culture - perfect for cookouts, beach outings, and huge, stinking document dumps. Like the odoriferous release of new FBI records which not only list more criminal activity by Hillary Clinton, but document that her excuse for nearly everything is her claim to have been brain damaged by a fall...

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, server, fbi, brain

Oops, we just thought of another joke...

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, server, fbi, brain
Don't worry, Bill, you will.
Happy Millenial Wake-Up Day!

 Have a great, safe Labor Day everyone!


George in Houtx said...

damn! and all this time, I thought it was "Labrador Day". I've given some tasty treats to the neighborhood dogs over the years.
as far as "the Hildabeast" goes, it really looks like she might get away with all of her shenanigans. truly sickening!

Mike aka Proof said...

Ah! And here I thought you might serve up a Labor Day Weiner roast!
Happy day off from labor, Stilton!

James Daily said...

We retired folks do not celebrate Labor Day as we once did when employed. The reason is the employment crippled us so we don't get around as good. Ah, well, celebrate away watching ball games drinking beer and roasting weiners (No, not Weiners, that's illegal, I think) Truly enjoy the cartoons, especially those that depict the Crook's mental anguish. I did notice CNN demanded Dr Drew retract a diagnosis of Clinton which is hilarious. She didn't remember going in for a check up.

Bluebird Bob said...

Your writings and jokes are the BEST!!! Even my wife loves them!!

Tots said...

I love the Walleyed Hillary look. I'll have to work a wonkey eye into some Photoshops I do of her.

I'm pretty convinced Cthulhu has planned out this election so he can get elected in 2020. Maybe I'll run a comic series on it. Not mocking our government is depressing me.

Dr. Strangelove said...

Great commentary on the unions. I no longer put my American flag out on Labor Day, do you think my libtard neighbors would get it if I put out a commie flag, or just think that I was a Bernie supporter?

Jim Irre said...

@Dr. Strangelove - don't worry, they'll never figure it out. They might even invite you to their Weiner viewing!

REM1875 said...

I was kinda disappointed Cthulhu failed to make the demonRat ticket this time but then again I look at his competition and what chance did he have?

Yes I also fail to fly the flag on this holiday and only this one.

As a a retiree everyday is a holiday (except for the days called medical appointment days) and enjoy the revenge for all the labor days I worked.

I salute all the the working men and women who will be working again this labor day for the rest of us to enjoy this national day of celebrating really huge mattress sales- not to be confused with the eternal fire/ going out of business- everything must go sale that store in the furniture field start the day after grand opening sale closes till the doors actual close decades later.

And the emergency service people who will be participating in this holidays other favorite sport of saving those who use gasoline on barbecue grills in the ancient secret ceremony of the last 1/2/3rd degree major burns of the season.
I mean step outside and you can almost smell the flesh sizzling and I am hoping it ain't mine - again.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@George in Houtx- It does look like Hillary will get away with everything. I'm not of a theological bent, but I have to admit that the Clintons get away with so much that part of me really does believe they struck a deal with the devil.

@Mike aka Proof- How did I not think of the "Weiner roast" gag for today?! Oh well...

@James Daily- My own observation of Labor Day today will be going to a Mexican restaurant where Spanish-speakers are doing all the jobs Americans won't do.

@Bluebird Bob- Thanks for the nice comment. And tell your wife I appreciate her discerning taste in political humor!

@Tots- The "Walleyed Hillary" look is easy to do in Photoshop and surprisingly pleasing. And if Cthulhu was on the ballot, he'd have my vote. It would be fun to tune into the State of the Union address just to watch him pulling screaming politicians into his mouth with his face-tentacles.

Dr. Strangelove- No American flags going out at the Jarlsberg household, either. I was in the UAW for a short time many, many years ago and I was appalled. The union dictated the speed of the conveyor belts where work was done so their members wouldn't be overworked. A speed so slow that every man actually learned to do two jobs in the allotted time - his own, and that of the man next to him. With this system in place, Man #1 would arrive in the morning and punch in for himself and Man #2. At lunchtime, Man #1 would leave for the day and Man #2 take over, eventually punching both timecards out at the end of the shift. The factory knew this, but was powerless to change it. No wonder there are robots on the assembly line now.

@Jim Irre- Never ever say "yes" when Anthony Weiner offers s'mores.

@REM1875- Despite my dim view of Labor Day, I have nothing but respect for America's workers. I've certainly had my share of manual labor jobs and there's no harder work.

Fred Ciampi said...

Of the many jobs I have held, four have been in union shops. The closest I have ever come to death wasn't in the Marine Corps (non-union) but when I suggested that folks get cross trained so that the whole force from 5 to 50 workers don't sit on their collective asses for the whole shift and get paid for it when one person is absent. 'Nuff said, I don't have to work today so breakfast will just have to cook itself.

Dr. Strangelove said...

Stilton: As a youth, I was in the Boilermaker's union for a while and we literally had to get an electrician to change a light bulb, I know exactly what you mean.

Dr. Strangelove said...

@ Jim Irre: Maybe Huma will hang out, too!

Dan said...

@Stilton: "Weiner roast" gag. I see what you did there.

Geoff King said...

I once worked filling vending machines in a GM foundry in Saginaw, Michigan. I rode around the place in an electric Cushman. Being a total union-controlled plant, I was required to join the Teamster's just because of that tiny golf cart I drove.
I ended up losing that job at contract time because someone with more senority and far less intelligence took it from me.
I have never had any use for unions since then.

TrickyRicky said...

One summer in college I worked in a large grocery chain's distribution center. We were all Teamsters and I quickly learned how powerful the union was. About a week before I started, one of the employees had piled up newspaper on the linoleum floor of our lunchroom and set it afire during lunch break. He was fired, as one would assume. Little did I know he was the shop steward, and he was back at work as if nothing had happened within two weeks. The next summer I was working on a construction project in the wilds of Montana. It was supposed to be a union job, but none of us had signed up all summer. One day we saw a big black limo drive up to the supervisor's trailer and several big burly guys in black suits and sunglasses went into the trailer. After they left, our boss let us know that we were all now members of the International Brotherhood of Laborers. It was a good education at a young age.

Ron Russell said...

Hallelujah, finally Obama has come through with his "Shovel-ready" jobs, according to Josh Earnest past winner of the coveted Joseph Goebbles Award.

Sortahwitte said...

I do fly my flag on labor day. I commemorate the unbelievable amount of labor our forebearers exerted on this land to build a better life for us. I, too, have had run-ins with unions and the taste is still bitter. I choose to celebrate our work ethic.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Fred Ciampi- I remember my older brother being threatened during his short time in a union shop (he was working there over the summer) because he was getting his job done too quickly - in a fraction of the time it was supposed to take according to union specifications.

@Dr. Strangelove- Another favorite union story of mine; I've done some theatrical work and was associated with a show that was going to play at Radio City Music Hall. We were bringing all the sets and props, but we needed to negotiate with the Teamsters union to scoot any little thing on stage. When the time came to meet with the Teamsters, the first thing their lead negotiator did was pull out a gun and set it on the table in front of him. Yeah, that was a chilly meeting.

@Geoff King- I drove a forklift in that UAW shop for a short while. There was some overlap in shifts (I worked nights), and the day guys would come in asleep on their feet and be trudging down the aisles where I needed to deliver my loads. This made me slow down, and I got chewed out for trying not to kill anyone. "Go ahead and hit 'em," my supervisor said, "you're in a fuckin' forklift - YOU ain't gonna get hurt."

@TrickyRicky- Good story! Going back to the UAW shop where I worked, we made steering columns for cars. A couple of guys decided just to blow off doing their jobs at all and had friends punch them in and out. The defective steering columns caused cars to go out of control. People died. A huge recall was ordered. Of course the guys were fired - briefly. The union got their jobs restored with no loss of pay. I still don't know how the UAW kept the sumbitches out of jail for manslaughter.

@Ron Russell- It's all about waiting. And look, the shovel ready jobs happened even before he's closed Gitmo!

@Sortahwitte- I should clarify that there is ALWAYS an American flag in front of my home. I just meant I don't put out my additional ceremonial flags for Labor Day.

American Cowboy said...


My horse pi--es on them.
Many years ago I thought I would like to try my hand at city life and the big bucks so I enrolled in a welding vo-tech course. When I finished I took the DOT mandated tests and passed those and received my certification as a pipeline welder.
Of course the state I lived in at the time was a closed shop state, so I went to the local union office to see abut getting hired at a power plant under construction.
I was told i couldn't get work until I joined both the Boilermakers Union and the Iron-workers Union. Initiation dues and fees would have totaled $1,000.00 in advance at the time.
Not being employed of course I didn't have that much ready cash so I proposed taking that amount out of paychecks along with the monthly union dues until paid.
Nope. No way. Pay up front or you don't get the job.
Sounded reasonable to me. Can't pay the fees without the job, and can't get the job without paying the fees.
I walked out and to this day I have as much use for unions as I do for a prairie rattler!
Seeing the world through the ears of a horse working for myself is way better anyway it's figured.

Tots said...

@Stilton For my Texas brother I'll do a Cthulhu State of the Apocalypse speech for you with that imagery.

Joseph ET said...


In my early years I asked for a job where they were building homes nearby. I was told that I had to join the union. I went to the union hall and tried to join, but I couldn’t join because I didn’t have a job. I went back to the construction boss and explained what happened. He was a nice guy and gave me a note for the union that said I had a job with him and they let me in. I guess he wanted to give the kid a chance. Hard to find that much anymore. I made sure not to let him down.
California is NOT a right to work state. After the Army I found a job in a place that made transformers, but I had to join the Electrical workers union. They were mostly worthless. They got us a 5 cent per hour raise while I was there. The competing company was paying a dollar an hour more.
My last job was with a Federal agency. They have a union, but membership is optional so I never joined. Of course there was some occasional pressure to join, like the names of the nonmembers bring posted on a bulletin board and they would offer me a fifty dollar payment to join and others would get fifty dollars when they got someone to join. They would lie. One example, they would say that there was a vote that nonmembers would not receive the next pay raise. And when I once needed to file a grievance they asked if I was a member or they couldn’t file it. I reminded them that the regulations clearly state that they were to represent “ALL craft employees” and if they didn’t wish to follow the regulations they will need to put the reason over their signature on their letterhead. I had no problems with them after that. Also, note not even the Shop Stewart could not tell me how much the union dues were and after each wage increase the dues would increase. And if a member wanted to exit the union there was a one week window to do that and it seemed that window was different for each member. It’s also interesting that whatever increase in wages or benefits the craft employees received the management received the same or more. That makes it easier to get that increase. And if you get fired the union will get you back with full pay most of the time.

REM1875 said...

As A retired union member I can say this for sure - if my union is for it- as American loving patriot I have to be against it.
If it is good for the union- it is not good for America.

Yes I am am one of the up to 40% of union members that unions ignore.

And yes I am still a member to screw people over on health ins (for my wife).

I can also proudly say I never have knowingly voted for a union endorsed candidate and most like never will.

I think I need a bumper sticker that says "ask me about my union"?

Oh and doc I came by my blisters and callouses fairly- Between bouts in the military I worked a lot of the jobs Americans won't do. So I do have the utmost respect many of the the American workers. Sorry If I gave you some other impression. I have operated an "Irish backhoe" on many a job.
Oh and to my HS guidance councilor - Tell me I had to take college courses because I was too smart to do manual labor will ya? Whose laughing now? Retired and happy.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@American Cowboy- I faced a similar union Catch-22 when trying to get into the Writers Guild of America (I didn't want to be a member, but it was required to write for most television shows). They said I could only join if I had enough credits from writing on WGA-only shows. But I couldn't write for those shows without being a WGA member. Apparently the only way around this BS was to deal with "somebody who knows somebody" to get you in. Fortunately, I now live in a right to work state (Texas! Yay!) and WGA membership isn't a concern.

@Tots- Sweet!

@JosephET- Isn't it a shame that we don't have any problem trotting out so many negative stories about unions? Meanwhile, on the Left they celebrated Labor Day by posting memes of 8 year old kids who don't work in coal mines anymore, as if that would still be the case in today's world without unions. I'll concede that unions made some valuable contributions to work standards in the past. But it's increasing the very distant past.

@REM1875- Nope, I didn't get some other impression. I don't hold union membership against anyone - in many cases, it's a requirement of the job.

And my blood boils when I hear the phrase "jobs Americans won't do." I'm pretty sure Americans would do those jobs if they weren't being subsidized to sit on their asses. I've waited tables, cooked food, mowed lawns, and worked on assembly lines and am not ashamed of any of those positions.

No one able-bodied should be too full of themselves to do manual labor.

Bruce Bleu said...

Nearly gagged on my breakfast burrito when I saw "Martha Feldman"! Always thought of her as more of a "Hellibut" than a walleye. I think she also hired James Arnesses brother on a regular basis, Peter Graves.
Willie Clinton heard about "Lay Boor Day" and began a search for an uneducated unrefined person.
As far as the puppy's queery, I thought he meant anger toward a mid-leg joint, then noticed it wasn't spelled "Ire Knee Day", so, dodged a Steve McQueen there.

John the Econ said...

I think they just made it 500 in Chicago.

Way to go! We knew you could do it!

This is also another indictment of the total fraud that is the "Black Lives Matter" movement, which instead of appearing the least bit concerned about the 500-bodies in Chicago is today more occupied with phony Progressive issues like "global warming" than those who are actually killing blacks, which unfortunately are mostly other blacks.

Jobs: As I've long argued, it's allot easier to sell the idea of a recession than it is to sell the idea of a good economy. To sell the recession that may or may not be happening, all you have to do is convince enough people who are doing okay that there are allot of people that they don't know elsewhere who are not doing well. Selling a great recovery that doesn't exist is difficult because too many people are not doing well, or otherwise personally know others who are not doing well.

Of course, there's also the fact that there are those well-off Progressives who never seem to leave their well-off Progressive enclaves, and genuinely wonder what the fuss is all about.

Hillary's Friday Doc-dump: Again, what did we learn that was really new? Basically just more details on the memes we were already fully aware of, which were mainly:

o Incriminating email was purposely erased.

o There were at least a dozen more "devices" than the one she said she wanted. And most of those are officially unaccounted for.

o She claims to never having been briefed on document security protocol, but signed a document confirming that she had.

o The woman who many claim to be the "most experienced and qualified ever" for the office sure seems to either forget or not know a lot.

And again, at this point what difference does it make? If you're not already convinced that Hillary is a duplicitous conniving liar, there's little more here that will do the job as it's just detailed confirmation of the already obvious. As I've been saying for the better part of the year, 51% of America won't care about this because they're already on the government gravy train, and Hillary is the only candidate that has any incentive to keep it chugging along as it has been.

Hope you had a happy "labor day", especially those who even know what "labor" is anymore.

John the Econ said...

Being a life-long independent sort, I have no personal "union story". I've never worked as an employee in any unionized industry. (Which means I've only worked in thriving ones)

The closest thing I have to a story is regarding a sister, who was working at a local unionized store during the holidays. As a "temp", the union allowed this. After the holidays, management was impressed with her and wanted to keep her on. A union rep came by our house to extol the benefits of membership and to sign her up. After doing some quick math regarding amortizing the "initiation fee" and other costs in addition to what they'd be taking each paycheck, I pointed out that she'd actually be making less than minimum wage with the union. When asked to explain the benefit of this, the union rep could only offer meaningless babble, which was even less meaningful to a teenager looking for a part-time job. Needless to say, she quit the job.

I do have some friends working in unionized industries. Some extol the virtues of this, but at the same time ironically lament the place this has put them in life. The biggest is the lack of mobility in their industries. One cannot simply "quit" one company to get a better position in another company with better opportunities without losing seniority. Doing so drops you to the bottom of the seniority chain, which in the union world is the same as starting at the bottom like a teenager again. So they all wearing the "golden handcuffs", literally stuck in their positions. This is extra disconcerting to those who are stuck in companies that are not on a good trajectory. The irony is that most of these people don't realize that they have literally become slaves to their employer, something that unionization was supposed to eliminate. This situation does tend to favor the unmotivated, mediocre and/or incompetent who are just smart enough to be content with their station in life. But it completely punishes those who aspire to more, eventually draining them of their ambition since there will be absolutely no reward for it.

This is a good reason why unionized industries in America have largely languished while the non-unionized (mostly "tech") have thrived. Unionize the tech industry in America, and it will resemble the rust-belt in barely a generation.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Never actually been a member of a union, but nearly had a grievance filed against me. BITD I was the Printer Guy for a facility for Chrysler. (Yeah, wanted to run a script to change all the printer menus to German on Merger Day, but that's a different story.
Department X was getting an additional printer, when it came in, I took a helper to set it up (they're heavy, OSHA says two people req'd to move them). The table for it was not near the power / network outlets - we had to move it across the aisle and about 10 feet down.
Turns out that anything facilities related is a MillWright's job - and by doing it myself I was "threatening" their gig.
Still don't know what the "proper" process should have been, but *I* never touched one again - it would have been my job.. (I got let off w/ official warning)

Bruce Bleu said...

Having read the union stories I can offer my own. I have been in 4 unions... the Retail Clerks Union, the Motion Picture And Theatrical Workers Union, the IAM and the UAW (United Aerospace Workers, just as corrupt as its sisters, the United Auto Workers and United Agricultural Workers... same circus, different clowns). Union rules BREED incompetence and whiney/bitchy attitudes, and reward sloth with union positions. The only way you can fire a worthless employee is to get him off the clock in a management position, then, let the axe fall. When a person's attitude and ability no longer secures their job, if they don't possess the integrity to have a work ethic, then you get lackadaisical performance... UNIONS! If a union headquarters was on FIRE, and I had to whiz... I would turn away so the fire would not abate.

Fred Ciampi said...

Many many years ago I worked for a major government contractor (nuke subs, carriers, nuke power plants) as a welder. The plant had thirty seven (37) unions representing about 3,500 workers. I left the company for another, went to school, got a degree in weld engineering and an MBA just for fun and years later went back to my old company as a shop foremen. The first day there I carried an IBM Selectric typewriter from one cubical to my nice new cubical and plugged it in. I had two (2) count 'em, two, grievances filed against me. One from the teamsters because it is their job to move stuff and the other from the electrical workers onnacounta it's their job to plug stuff in. I think that record still stands; two grievances on the first day of work.

But, I am not one to let a good deed go unpunished. A couple of weeks later I called for an electrician to unplug my typewriter and a teamster to carry it to another building. Now, this was a large plant located on 35 acres. I had the big strong teamster carry the good 'ole IBM electric typewriter (I think it weighed about 58 pounds) to a building across the whole 35 acres and I took a roundabout way. Once we got there I had him set the typewriter down and pick up one just like it. We then proceeded back to my cubical. After he put it down on my desk I said that I didn't like the new one as much as the old one. So guess what? We repeated the process.

All 37 unions didn't like me very much after that. I stayed for 18 more months and went to an aerospace company making Titan Rockets and Space Shuttle stuff. Much more fun and I lived happily ever after and now I'm retired. The end.

Doneaux said...

Obama promised 'shovel-ready jobs', didn't he? Bodies needing graves count.

Boligat said...

I retired from teaching last year. I was a member of MSTA (Missouri State Teachers Association) I came to Missouri to get away from the NEA. In our small school, we often have to make do. We used to put on Spanish competitions for other schools on Saturdays. My students and I did all the set up and tear down. Tables, chairs, risers, you name it, we moved it. The teachers and I did all this because we thought it would be a good experience for the kids. We did it for free; none of us were paid for the extra hours. Then one year we expanded into a whole league of schools and I got my first taste of working with NEA rules. We went to the big city to a school there for a competition. Once there, the teacher in charge asked my advice on set up and I told her we would have to move some tables and chairs to create a better flow of traffic and have more space for dance competition and the exhibits. So I went to work. She stopped me and said, "I'll call the custodian. We're not allowed to move anything." It was part of the NEA contract with the school district. So we waited, and waited, until the custodian showed up to move about four tables and a dozen chairs.

A few years ago our district bought some land which allowed us to build a football stadium, a practice field, two softball diamonds and a baseball diamond. Before, we had a softball diamond but the baseball field overlapped the football field. We had no bleachers, it was bring your own chair. Or stand. With the new land, we could build a new music building for choir and band, convert the old building into an art room. We built the new stadium including a new concession stand and bathrooms, which were built for the most part by the faculty and community with student help.

Same with the new ball fields, all done with school and community help. I asked the superintendent how much we spent (on the ball field complex) and he told me that we had $30,000 worth of materials in the fences, dugouts, concession stand, bathrooms, storage room and broadcast room for the ball fields. The lowest bid the district had for the construction of the complex was $120,000. So the district saved $90,000. The superintendent said that we would not have had the money for everything if we had had to bid it out.

NONE of this would have been possible with an NEA contract like the city schools work under. I am so proud of our small district and community and I despise the NEA (for this and other reasons). I am so glad I left my old state out west to get away from the NEA.

Case closed.

Joseph ET said...

As I posted above my last job was with a Federal agency. I worked in the maintenance craft as an “Electronic Tech.” There were other occupations in the craft including Custodian. If person was a Custodian for 10 years and now passes the written test and became an Electronic Tech too, then he/she would have seniority over me with having only five years in craft, they would be able to get better days off, assignments, etc.. If one transfers to another city you become a person with zero seniority. Per the Union contract. The worst part was trying to train them as some didn’t know which end of a screw driver to hold. As most of us know that being able to pass a written test doesn’t translate to ability. I would prefer the Military seniority system which is called “time in grade,” if I’ve been a E-5 Sargent longer, then I out rank you. Works better because it allows for ones experience in the job. Unions don’t lie it!

I also hate it when I hear about "jobs Americans won't do" We can and will do all those jobs, but we want to be paid more than the illegal. Like many here, I've had many different jobs during my time. Would I do all of them again? You bet! I learned with all of them.

Bruce Bleu said...

Fred Ciampi,
I've read your posts with enthusiasm, considering you to be of similar mind as myself. When I worked for Lockheed (IAM union) I had a problem on my K&T bridge mill and called an ET to fix it. He arrived in union daylight time (1 hour) and called a plumber to move a small tube, the Plumber arrived in UDT (48 minutes later) and had to call a mechanic to move a handle. The mechanic arrived in UDT (74 minutes later). The ET did his thing and the process repeated in reverse, and the whole fustercluck took 3 hours 45 minutes to do a 15 MINUTE JOB!!!! Lockheed finally lost the contract and the whole sh*tfest went to Northrup or Douglas or Grumman to play out the same bovine scat on some other real estate. The Unions have crippled US companies from competing in the world market. More money is spent by unions on retirement bennies and political contributions than ANYTHING else! They are WAAAAAAY past their "use by" date!

Fred Ciampi said...

Bruce Bleu,
That's why I went on to earn an MBA; I needed to know just what the economic situation was and why it is that way. For instance, why does Ford buy steel from Japan when they own iron ore mines, blast furnaces, blooming mills, and everything necessary to turn it into automobiles? Why is Toyota the largest auto manufacturer? Quality. Look up W. Edward Demming, the father of quality control. For years I owned American made automobiles just out of respect for my country. After some very frustrating quality issues, I now own a Toyota Highlander. Best car I've ever owned. If I live long enough to wear it out my next car will be a Toyota.

Bruce Bleu said...

Fred Ciampi,
I took Statistical Process Control from Demming's protege, (the one who went to Ford to get THEM on board!)
Also, I own a 1982 Yamaha Maxim 1100, a 2008 Tundra 4x4 5.7, and a 2010 Mitsubishi Outlander AWD.
Personally, I think the outsourcing of supplies is to avoid EPA BS. If you buy components from foreign entities, you don't have to "bend over" for "Uncle Sambo".

Jim Irre said...

Thanks all! This was far more entertaining than FOX news!