Monday, January 23, 2017

The Queef Heard Round The World

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, trump, women, march, pussy hat, vagina, protesters
50 Shades of Who Gives a Damn.
On the first full day of Donald Trump's administration, millions of women gathered in cities around the world to deliver the message, powerfully and unequivocally, that we dodged a real bullet by not electing a vagina-owner as President.

Oh sure, that wasn't the message they meant to send - but what the hell else is anyone (male or female) with more than a spoonful of brains supposed to think? The angry protesters donned "pussy hats" and vagina costumes to prove they're not just sex objects and should be taken seriously.  Which, frankly, we find hard to do when a glowering woman has turned her face into a clitoris.

Purportedly, the massive marches were about women finally and firmly demanding their rights, including non-discrimination, protection from sexual assault, equal pay for equal work, access to abortion on demand, the right to vote, the right to go to school, the right to sit in the front of the bus, and the right to be served at Woolworth's lunch counters.

Of course, all of these things are already mandated by law, but attempts to inform the protesters of this were decried as blatantly sexist "man-splaining." And the real point isn't that women lack rights, but they feel like they lack rights...and feelings always outweigh facts among those high on estrogen.

Celebrity speakers were in abundance at the Washington march, with alleged-actress Ashley Judd proclaiming herself to be a "nasty girl" and babbling about Donald Trump's wet dreams (honest), and Madonna following up on her previous promise to blow any man who voted for Hillary with a new admission that she wants to blow up the White House.  A sentiment which drew a standing ovulation from the enthusiastic crowd.

Disclaimer time: Hope n' Change supports equal rights for women without reservation. No woman should suffer from discrimination or actual sexual harassment. If a man "grabs her by the pussy" he should face criminal charges. If he talks about grabbing women by the pussy, even "just among the boys," he should be considered an asshole and pariah.

These are serious matters which, unfortunately, have now been trivialized by activists who failed to elect their chosen candidate and are now having a huge public hissy fit simply because they can in a country which already affords them the freedom and rights to do so.

To those women who filled the streets, Hope n' Change acknowledges that you have been heard.

But maybe next time, consider having something to say.

BONUS: SECRET CERVIX PROJECTION
obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, trump, women, march, pussy hat, vagina, protesters
He may have something there.

38 comments:

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Wonder if we could get Sir Tom Jones to record "What's New, Pussyfarts"? (evil grin)

Jim Irre said...

Like the old saying goes, "Tie a 2x4 across your ass before you go anywhere near that!"

Barry said...

Best of all were the Women's Rights marches in Iran, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Yemen, etc. You missed those, huh?

REM1875 said...

Millions of marchers, thousands of hours, millions of words and still what I want to know is ..........what the hell did they want?

clayusmcret said...

All of these women woke up in their secure beds, in their secure homes, ate their secure breakfasts, bathed or showered in secure water and rode to the event in secure transportation to complain about how terrible their lives are.

OpenTheDoor said...

Hey, you have to give credit where it's due, President Trump got more fat women out to exercise in one day than Mooch did in 8 years.

Fred Ciampi said...

I saw one news 'man on the street' reporter asking women what they were protesting and approximately 82.4% didn't have a good answer. They did, however, leave approximately 1,922 tons of debris on the street. Who do you think is going to pay for the cleanup?

Oh, and on another subject, President Trump has not yet put his feet on the Oval Office desk. Not one time so far. Nor has he disrespected any other piece of furniture.

John T said...

There were millions of cats left unattended at home all day, and toilet seats left up since there wasn't anyone around to fuss about it. What a day!

Rod said...

Perhaps they were symbolizing being born again? Are we sure this was a AGAINST Trump? Did they ever explain?

Full Sail said...
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Full Sail said...
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Judi King said...

Why hasn't Madonna been arrested for what she said? I thought threats like that were liable for prosecution. As a woman, I have never felt inferior to a man or anyone, and know I have the same legal rights as everyone else in this country. These "women" are clueless and beyond ridiculous! Another wing of the "make Trump illegitimate" conspiracy and their own agenda of a perceived "right" to murder innocent babies because they aren't smart enough to to take precautions before indulging themselves. I bet these same morons protest war because people might die. Talk about an oxymoron.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

and feelings always outweigh facts among those high on estrogen.

Actually, feelings always outweigh facts among libtards, of which these babbling broads are but a subclass...

Geoff King said...

I see that John Kerry marched with the rest of the pussies in D.C.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Having seen some of the demonstrators, I'm guessing Sir Tom will not record the song because they might throw their underwear at him.

@Jim Irre- If that doesn't work, keep blowing a whistle until the search party finds you.

@Barry- The Left can't really protest against abuse of women in those places because it conflicts with their inflexible belief in "cultural equivalency."

@OpenTheDoor- I daresay they enjoyed better lunches than Michelle would have provided, too.

@Fred Ciampi- I saw a few interviews in which women were given the opportunity to explain what they wanted (on lib-friendly networks), but no one had anything rational to say.

And I'm annoyed (but not surprised) by the tons of litter left behind. I wonder how many of these women who are claiming to be "oppressed" are simply suffering the consequences of not cleaning up their own messes in life?

@John T- The real tragedy is the millions of sammiches that went unmade.

@Rod- The rally became sorta kinda against Trump, but I think that was only used as an excuse. I imagine this was originally planned as a big Vagina-palooza celebration for President Hillary, and the ladies decided to march and shout rather than let their costumes gather dust.

@Full Sail- I added the disclaimer because I have female friends who have suffered from sexual harassment and/or discrimination in the past, and I want to make it clear that I take those issues seriously - when and where they actually exist - despite the wretched, inaccurate, man-hating hyperbole we heard during this march.

@Judi King- I've read that the Secret Service actually is paying some attention to Madonna's comments, and will keep her under scrutiny. I don't think Madonna was serious about really plotting to blow up the White House, but it's a dangerously incendiary sentiment to share with a few hundred thousand angry people in close proximity to the White House.

@Emmentaler Limburger- You're quite right. Liberalism is always about making the Liberals themselves feel good about their (ahem) noble intentions, rather than actually accomplishing good for the downtrodden.

@Geoff King- Presumably he wasn't protesting against men who throw out their wives and marry again for money.

Shelly said...

After all the histrionics and all the media attention just because it's against Trump and that will always grab the headlines in today's wretched media, all these protesters woke up this morning to the fact that Trump is still the president and will be for at least four years and hopefully eight. So what was accomplished other than making fools of yourselves? It's time for this national temper tantrum to end. The rational people are moving on with our lives and at last have hope that things are going to improve. What that "march" told me is the lunatics are running the asylum no more.

chef621 said...


I would like to speak for a majority of the women who did not go to Washington to march for the right to kill babies and other assorted grievances. I suspect the women who stayed home are happy, contented wives and mothers who keep their homes clean and do not litter their cities. They are abhorred by the costumes, actions and language of these losers and rabble-rousers. I can hope that all of womanhood is not judged by the actions of these malcontents. They put a black mark on the rest of us. The only one who is thrilled with their antics is George Soros, who likely paid for most of it.
Well, like the saying goes, "what goes around, comes around" or as the Bible puts it, "Wharsoever you sow, that shall you also reap."

American Cowboy said...

@clayusmcret- I made essentially the same comment on another blog site this weekend and was summarily excoriated for it as being a misogynistic lout. Of course in their strident rebuttal to my comment the other party could not name even one specific instance of rights being removed as a result of President Trump's election, or any genuine threat to existing rights. Just more screeching from the left about nothing.

Walter L Stafford said...

What has happened to modesty and decorum with this TYPE of female? Cunt they see the prickly
end of all this? What in the world would any self-proclaimed MALE be doing in this demonstration? I suppose it would be like fishing...just cumming the waters to see will take the bait.
Queers, fags or bearded clam eaters would find a place somewhere over or under the rainbow.

Ringling Bros./Barnum and Bailey Circus may have folded the tent, but the show goes on and on and...on! Send in the clowns...they are already here.

...and there, boys and girls you have it plain, straight and easy to understand from the side of the fence.

Anonymous said...

Stilton:

Thanks for all of your work.

I understand why you want to hang it up, but know that you will be missed.

Give us a heads-up if you are going back on the air at wrsa@hushmail.com.

Blessings to you and yours.

Sincerely,

CA
WRSA

Rod said...

@Stilt: Vagina-Palooza? Oh my. But not with those sinkholes. Can we un-think this?

John the Econ said...

First off, does anybody here think that this "protest" would not have taken place had the GOP winner been someone else, say like Mitt Romney?

Second, what a wonderfully free country we live in, where millions of people are so free and have the surplus resources to travel to distant places to scream about vaginas. America is in fact one of the few places on the planet where this level of insanity is even possible, both economically and politically. As I took glee in reminding people over the weekend, such demonstrations definitely are not possible in places like where Hillary received most of her campaign cash and personal wealth from. In those places, women are little more than property, and "pussy grabbing" is not just an expression, but is literal and just the beginning of most women's problems.

An aside: In a couple of decades after America has finally "assimilated" enough men from the Middle East, will the first Muslim Presidential candidate declare "If you like your clitoris, you can keep your clitoris"? And how many of these women in their desperate flight from the dreaded "white male heterodoxy" will actually believe it?

If you are a male and really want to piss off a third-wave multicultural feminist? Tell her that Shariah is a much better deal for you than it will be for her.

I really wish that some of these America-hating women could be sent on an exchange program to those countries where the "white male heterodoxy" is noticeably absent. Like Malcolm X after his pilgrimage to Africa, their attitudes might be quite a bit different upon their return home to the promised land.

As for the rest of the "women's issues" on display, they were unsurprisingly indistinguishable from the rest of the Progressive platform, (minimum wage, more corporate taxes, less defense, single payer health care) which only affirms my first observation.

As for the rest of the insanity, (Ashley Judd, Madonna, dancing vaginas, and of course the rioting and leftover trash) was anybody's mind changed by any of this, or only reinforced? (I think I can answer that for everyone here) I think the reaction of most people not involved in this nuttiness was everything from an eye-roll to a reaffirmation of their vote for Trump. He's upsetting all the right people.

Colby Muenster said...

My dearly departed mother was one of The Greatest Generation. She was a lifelong Democrat, and for the time would be considered quite progressive in her thinking. For example, she had little problem with my brother and I being "hippie, anti war, long haired pot smokers," if that is what we chose to do. She would have been absolutely horrified at these women who claim to be degraded by men (and all Republicans), but then degrade themselves to the nth degree participating in events like Saturday's. Really? You claim to be degraded, but respond by dressing up like a vagina or threatening to blow up the White House? Yeah.... that's going to gain you some respect.

And the mess they left was disgusting. Remember the millions or so "filthy" Tea Partiers who marched on DC? They left no trace of their visit.

A funny.... did anyone see Jesse Watters offer to hug one of the protesters, and she threatened to beat the shit out of him if he touched her? Talk about anti-social issues! She had zero clue he was joking, and this characteristic seems common to the feminist types. Humorless... What causes this? Were they rejected by a man they were attracted to? I'm sure glad I didn't start hating women after the 27 times I was rejected. Number 28 was a home run!

Mark Trahan said...

I LOVE THIS WEBSITE! I'm sorry to hear it will be leaving soon, or changing, because it's brought me so many many laughs throughout the dark years that have now ended. Thanks again, and I'm looking forward to your new website!

Anonymous said...

Rights?! Women have RIGHTS?!?
I'm "shocked! SHOCKED!"

*I* was always told the male/female THANG
was a "social construct,"
so I shouldn't bother with anything that
diddidn't directly help the Left.

I'm *SO* confused....

PLEASE KEEP IT UP STILTON!!!
Your political stuff is TOO VALUABLE to sideline!!!

James Daily said...

On Madonna, I read a pretty good one, "Put her on the do not fly list." Now that would get her attention, although her attention span is less than that of a goldfish.
After watching that bunch, now I understand why the divorce rate is so high. Then, I read where the march gave the crook, "Joy" (no last name) but was probably contrived of a high percentage of lezbos which probably sent a thrill up the crook's leg.

Sortahwitte said...

My younger daughter and her family have returned from dc and the inauguration. They had a great time on Friday and enjoyed the whole day. She said the crowd booed hil and bj klinton. She had no idea what schumer said for all the booing, and when told what he said, she commented wtf?
They went back Sat am and got in the middle of all that shit. Their 13 year old son was with them as they encountered the explicit costumes and signs. They had intended to see some of the smithsonian museums but gave up. They are home safe and that was my prayer.

Dan said...


If I was as fixated on my crotch as so many of these women seem to be on theirs, I'd be considered a pervert.

@James Daily -- Please don't have Madonna put on the no-fly list until after she goes back to wherever she's been hanging around lately.




Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Shelly- I think you nailed it when you described this as a "national temper tantrum." I don't mean to make this a "Mars/Venus" thing, but it seems like these women put more importance on being heard than on solving actual problems. A sad waste of their energy and our time.

@chef621- I've seen reports that Soros has contributed to 50 organizations which took part in this event. Nice "grass roots" movement. And let me echo your sentiments that nothing I said in today's commentary (which was deliberately intended to be as coarse and tasteless as the demonstrators) was intended to reflect on all women. I believe 100% in equality, but not at all in the notion that men and women are the same critters.

@American Cowboy- As far as I know, neither Trump nor the GOP is threatening to take away ANY rights from women. Even if Roe vs Wade is overturned (which is unlikely) it would only mean that the legality of abortion would be decided by the states individually.

@Walter L Stafford- I found myself getting nostalgic when you mentioned "modesty and decorum," which I hasten to point out are good values for everyone to aspire to, male or female.

@WRSA- Thanks for the nice words! Rather than rely on my memory, I encourage you to add your address to my email list (top left column) so I can keep you - and everyone else - posted on my continuing misadventures and new projects.

@Rod- Too late. We are damned by our own imaginations.

@John the Econ- I must admit that when I was watching coverage of the march and the celebrity speeches, your words came to mind: Do you want more Trump? Because this is how you get more Trump. The wackier the Left gets, the happier people are going to be that Trump is in office.

@Colby Muenster- Thanks for sharing the memories of your mother. I don't think it's likely any other iteration of Americans is likely to steal that "Greatest Generation" title in the future. As a child of the 50's I was raised on those values...and I miss them.

And you make a good point that the Left is genuinely humorless. I always consider that a sign of rigidity and lack of confidence that their ideas can withstand criticism.

@Mark Trahan- Hey, I love this website too! But...it's time for new things. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do next, but it won't be retiring. I've got a physical need to be creating things all the time, and humor is my weapon of choice.

@Anonymous- It does strike me as odd that the same women who claimed that the differences between sexes were only a "social construct" are now defining themselves as being radiantly special when compared to knuckle-dragging men.

And I'm glad you find value in what I've been doing here. Now if I could just get the Koch brothers (or any other conservative billionaires) to find value in what I do here...

@James Daily- It strikes me that if Madonna was put on a "No Fly" list, she wouldn't be able to unzip all the guys she's still supposed to blow for voting for Hillary.

@Sortahwitte- I'm glad everyone got home safe, but sorry that the Smithsonian experience was missed. I've always wanted to go there, but am afraid that I'd have some severe allergic reaction to actually setting foot on the soil of Washington DC.

@Dan- I think your phrase "fixated on (their) crotch" is particularly apt. If a bunch of men marched on Washington wearing penis costumes, I think there's very, very little chance that they would be seen in a good light - and a huge likelihood that they'd be arrested.

Anonymous said...

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!

www.BoycottBitches.com

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

John the Econ said...

Okay, I'll bite, Mr. Anonymous. I think you are suffering the same affliction that most "gender feminists" suffer; they extrapolate the characteristics of a relatively small segment of the opposite gender population to the entire population. The reality is that the vast majority of women you saw on TV over the weekend are not representative of the American female population at large. What you saw was the "vocal minority"; those that go out of their way to be seen, usually by turning themselves into a freak show. The vast majority of actual women in America were at home and/or otherwise conducting their normal lives, which do not center around their vaginas, cheating, getting fat or stealing half of their men's money.

This observation hit me when I was in school. A self-described "feminist" wrote a column about a trip she took with fellow student journalists to a journalism convention. Her piece was largely documentation of the chauvinistic and juvenile behavior of her male counterparts over the weekend. (Think a van full of Trump-juniors) But she then extrapolated this experience as an excuse to complain about all men. I wrote a letter to the editor pointing out this columnist's mistake of applying her judgement of a small sample of sexist idiots to all men when what she really was doing was judging just the character of men who are predisposed to careers in journalism. I don't recall that one being published.

A similar phenomenon applies to rabid feminists, who make remarkably similar characterizations of men that you are making to women. The problem with feminists (or at least the heterosexual ones) is that the problem isn't with men in general, but with the kind of men that they find themselves attracted to. They aren't attracted to the "nice guys" that don't abuse, use, cheat, etc, but they are attracted to the flashy and superficial types that are bound to disappoint. But since they can't accept that the shortcoming might be due to their own shallowness, they console themselves to blaming all men; even the ones that they'd never consider as mates and yet possess few if any of the characteristics that they say they hate.

I have a feeling that this is your problem as well.

chef621 said...


@ Anonymous It seems that our President agrees with you. The main reason that I posted above is that after hearing and seeing what went on in DC on Sat. I was feeling embarrassed at being a woman. Even though I totally disagree with all of what went on, it still left me feeling that womanhood has sunk to a new low. I could be wrong but I believe it all started in the 60s and has gotten continually worse since then. Women need to have respect for themselves and it will never happen through ugly, degrading stunts such as happened on Sat. It makes me wonder what the rest of the world thinks about American women. All they see is what is in the news and the news does not portray the descent Christian wives and mothers that actually exist in the US.

chef621 said...


@ John the Econ Well said!!!!

Colby Muenster said...

@Stilton said,
..."If a bunch of men marched on Washington wearing penis costumes, I think there's very, very little chance that they would be seen in a good light - and a huge likelihood that they'd be arrested."

Funny! Mrs. Muenster had a dream two nights ago (really) about a million men marching on DC wearing penis costumes, and how they got lambasted by the so called media, then arrested. She posted this on Facebook, and things went viral (well, viral in our small world - don't think it went national... yet). A couple of her libtard friends were livid. How DARE she make that comparison being a woman! Didn't she care about women's health? (how baby murder became "women's health" I'll never figure out).

Then she did the same meme using football. We are going to organize a march on Washington DC demanding that The Broncos play in the Superbowl! We didn't vote for the Patriots or the Falcons!

Oh man... she is such a dirty woman!

@anonymous,
Your sir, have placed yourself in the very same category as the loons who just marched on DC demanding... demanding... well, who the hell knows what they were demanding, but they are sorely misguided people who seem to have lost a grip on the real world. Are there American women who are bitches, get fat, and refuse to do housework? Certainly! Are there American men who are assholes, get fat, and refuse to do housework? Yup! Get a grip dude!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Anonymous: Sounds like a thinly veiled greencard scheme.

I will point out that these vocal vaginal vagabonds are hardly representative of the majority of American women. Just a very vocal and deranged minority. They've learned from the LGBT and feminist crowds - also very vocal minorities within our population, that to get what they want, they have to seem like they are more in number than they actually are, and they do this by stealing the limelight through demonstrations, the very pliant and compliant liberal media, and lawfare. The unfortunate fact that there are too many in positions of power who fear being labelled as anti-this or anti-that shows how effective their tactics are on the liberal mind and, in particular, the perceptions of the huge number of US citizenry who go no deeper than the most recent headline for their news.

That you believe American women inferior to "foreign" women belies a naivete and misconception of what women are actually like in other societies. And, as an American male, married to an American woman, son of an American woman, father to three American women - lets just say I find your suggestion insulting and would have happily engaged you in a barfight had you made it to my face. Needless to say, I don't think I'll be visiting your blog any time soon.

Cheers!

Bruce Bleu said...

"Standing ovulation", "Secret Cervix"... GENIUS, just sheer freaking GENIUS! But seriously, all these womyn, teaching their 6 year old future bitchmeisters new words and how to behave in a civilized society should be given a "Vadg of Honor" for the respect and decorum being displayed for the next vageneration! So, from now on, to remain politically correct, a cut will be referred to as a GASH, a small slice will be a SLIT, when I tickle a baby I will say COOCHie, COOCHie COOCH, shrillary's last name is now "CLITon", the Swedish car is now a Vulva, having a period right before Halloween will be "The Cunt For Red October", lifting weights over my head will most CERTAINLY be a "two hand snatch", which also might allude to Rosie O'Donnell or Rosanne Barr, "facial" hair on a mollusk will be "bearded clam", EVERY redneck man will be "Cooter", EVERY fish will be a "snapper", EVERY river animal will be a beaver, EVERY foolish person will be called a "twat", and EVERY garage will be for "parking the pink Cadillac"! See, I CAN please bat-shit crazy broads!

Geoff King said...

Hmmmm. Marching in a penis costume? I don't think I have the huge balls for that stunt.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Per the remarks by Anonymous (and the many good follow-ups), I just want to weigh in. The strident radicals who claimed to be speaking for "all women" in the marches were actually doing nothing of the sort. Most women don't share their views at all, other than the values that almost all of us already share: equality of opportunity, respectful treatment, protection from real sexual abuse of any kind, and the right to choose the life you want - be that captain of industry or homeschooling mother.

Picking up on what John the Econ said, I think that anyone who meets nothing but bad women is (consciously or not) looking for bad women, or at least not trying hard enough to find the good ones - whose numbers are legion. I'm descended from one, married one, and fathered one.

I have female friends who feel very passionately about the march. Clearly I don't agree with them on every point, but I know them to be good people with real concerns (some valid, some not). I refuse to demonize them, but will instead hope that at some point we can break down the walls of enmity and miscommunication that have grown so high and so impenetrable over the last 8 years.