Sotomayor Hearings

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Noted political historian and diaper-model Al Franken declared Sonia Sotomayor "the most experienced Supreme Court Nominee in 100 years." Strong praise coming from the least experienced of 100 senators. Meanwhile, Sotomayor is fielding softball questions...unlike conservative Judge Clarence Thomas who (despite being a minority) was demonized by Democrats in his confirmation hearings and asked if he rented "Long Dong Silver" porn videos, or placed his pubic hair on a can of coke.

Secret Plan

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After the deadliest terrorist assault in American history, Bush-era officials chose to go after the bad guys and, if possible, kill them. The mainstream media is now declaring that this was a bad thing, a terrible thing, a criminal thing because... because...it was secret! (Gasp!)

So Obama's team has pulled the plug on the plan. The CIA will not be going after Al Qaeda's top leaders, killing them, or even putting them in a carnival dunking booth. And the mainstream media is cheering this as good news because...because...well, because the mainstream media are increasingly anti-American assholes. Oops - sorry, news guys! Was that also supposed to be kept secret?

Foul Ball

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Tonight, President Barack Obama will take time out of his busy, busy, busy schedule to join the Fox broadcast booth for the all-stars baseball game. Hope n' Change wonders if he'll take the opportunity to criticize the wealthy bastards down on the field, who have accumulated so much money that everyone else has to suffer. And if he does, we hope that his Secret Service agents are really good with catcher's mitts...