Giving Us The Bird

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Thanksgiving is a time of traditions, and in this very special year of Hope n' Change, what could be more traditional than yet another idiotic and offensive decision from the Whitehouse?

Although Eric Holder insists that "Thanksgiving ham is not an option," many liberals suggest that the government's case against the Turkey has been irreparably damaged by keeping him "caged like an animal," and subjecting him to slurs like "dark meat" and "butterball." According to one unnamed source, said to be very close to the president, "New York's turkeys have come home to roost."

In other court news, the five 9/11 co-conspirators who are heading to New York to stand trial have announced that they will plead "not guilty," in order to publicly present their political positions, attack American foreign policy, decry the "torture" they've suffered, and attempt to justify past (and therefore future) 9/11-style terrorist attacks on the United States for an audience of over one billion Muslims.

Which means that this Thursday, we will not be giving thanks for Eric Holder and Barack Hussein Obama.

Party Politics

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With the holidays approaching, what better time could the president have chosen to announce that he's slashing the size of the annual Whitehouse recognition of Hanukkah?

Although he recently hosted an extravagant Whitehouse Ramadan banquet, the most debt-loving president in the history of the universe has balked at the expenses involved in serving kosher dishes to Jews. What a schlemiel...

Rimshot Reid

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Perennial sourpuss Harry Reid finally managed to crack a truly hilarious joke when he declared that his Senate Healthcare Bill is "fully paid for."

Perhaps what he meant to say is that the Democratic votes he needs to ram his plan through have been "fully paid for," including a now-infamous payment of $300 million taxpayer dollars to Senator Mary Landrieu (D-La).

In any event, the Senate gave Harry Reid the 60 votes he needed (all Democrats) to advance his healthcare bill to the next step - so for now, the joke is on us.