You Win Some...

Today is Presidents Day. And with the divisive political unrest in Wisconsin and Washington, what could be more timely than pausing to solemnly reflect on what this day really is...

An artificially created holiday to give federal employees a three-day weekend.

Oh sure, we used to celebrate the actual birthdays of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, but that didn't guarantee that our overworked and underpaid federal workers would always get a full three days to stretch out, relax, or take bus trips out of state. So the government tossed out the Presidents' names, the actual dates of their birth, and decided to make it a great national day of savings on bedding, linen and towels.

All of which seems especially appropriate in 2011, a time in which we have a president whose name (Barack Barry Hussein Soetoro Obama) is constantly changing, whose birth date is undocumented, and whose foreign policy is "throw in the towel."

But even under the reign of Obama and the crushing burden of record unemployment, Americans should give thanks for the one undeniable blessing of this day.

No new bills in the mail.
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The Plop Thickens

In Wisconsin, the Democrats are still revolting (ba-da-boom!), and across the nation unemployment claims are up (surprise!). But to counter the gloom, the Federal Reserve has just released minutes from their January meeting, and the terrific news that we've all been waiting for is: "many participants" believed the economic expansion "is on a firmer footing."

Hooray! The good times are back!

Or maybe not. Because there sure are a lot of economic weasel words even in that short declaration...

For instance, the statement says "many participants," which means "not all participants"...and since they didn't say "most participants," then the optimists must have been in the minority.

And then the statement says that the optimists "believe" things are improving... as opposed to "knowing," "demonstrating," or "proving" that the economy is perking up. Uh-oh.

And finally, the statement comes to the underwhelming conclusion that this minority of experts believe that the economic recovery is "firmer," but not...you know...actually firm. Although if it continues sitting there long enough, and the economists brush the flies away with their Ivy League credentials, it may get firm.

So all in all, we'll have to confess to being unimpressed with this "good news," the Federal Reserve, and the horse they rode in on.

Don't panic. The Fed assures us that what LOOKS like
economic manure is actually a delicious apple fritter.
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The Jackson Jive

Because the situation in Wisconsin wasn't surreal enough already, the allegedly-Reverend Jesse Jackson Jr has now elbowed his way into the spotlight to declare that Democrats' refusal to balance the budget, teachers' refusal to teach, and Barack Obama's use of violent rhetoric to pit unions against taxpayers is a "real Martin Luther King moment."

No one really has any idea what that means, but - like the court syncophants who were afraid to admit that the Emperor had no clothes - mainstream media types are nodding their heads rather than daring to suggest that Jesse Jackson has no clue.

Jackson told the protesters that Wisconsin's budget-conscious Governor "cannot crush the union and maintain democracy." Which, again, doesn't actually mean anything...especially since unions are against democracy within their own ranks, and want to abolish "secret ballots" so that their thugs can beat the living tar out of anyone who votes against the union line.

Frankly, Hope n' Change wishes that Jesse Jackson would just shut up and go away. He has spent his entire adult life blackmailing corporations on trumped-up charges of racism in order to fund a luxurious personal lifestyle (better, even, than the highly-paid public sector employees in Wisconsin). While married, he fathered a child out of wedlock and denied it...until his child's mother (who was also highly paid from the funds "donated" to Jackson's organization) produced Jesse's used condoms from her freezer for genetic testing. What a guy!

For Jesse Jackson to throw his "moral weight" behind the protesters only highlights the complete bankruptcy of their claims of injury and injustice. And that's a very bad thing.

But invoking the name of Dr. King in this context? That's an obscenity.
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