American Workfarce

(Click cartoon to read the teeny punchlines!)

Just when it seemed that Barack Obama had already done all the damage he could possibly do to the job market, his administration has come up with a new regulation which achieves a rare trifecta: it decreases job opportunities for most people, it creates new legal nightmares for potential employers, and it will decrease productivity in almost 200,000 U.S. companies!

Specifically, any company which does business with the government will be required to make sure 7% of their workforce is disabled...and the requirement applies to every department within the company. So for instance, a trucking firm which transports hazardous materials could be punished if they refused to hire a driver because he has a seizure disorder. Think we're kidding? The Labor Department's Office of Federal Contract Compliance Programs, which will enforce the new edict, already heard that case - and punished the trucking company for putting public safety over cultural sensitivity.

But how will employers find this rich new vein of disabled job applicants? Simple! Job applications will allow people to self-identify as "disabled"...and if they're subsequently not hired, the employer will have to document why.

Fortunately, thanks to the Americans with Disabilities Act, nearly anyone can qualify as disabled these days: cancer, heart disease, or clinical depression will almost guarantee you a key to the executive washroom. As will conditions like "significant trouble standing, sitting, reaching, lifting, bending, reading, concentrating, thinking, communicating, or interacting with others."

Put another way, if you're a lazy, petulant, dumbass you can no longer be turned down for a job!

And if you're a current, healthy employee? Well, you may want to think about arranging a little chainsaw "accident" for yourself in the very near future.

Cost of implementing this nuttiness is estimated to be as high as $1.8 billion... and that's not counting the decrease in productivity that could result from making sure that 7% of the workforce arrives in a short bus.

Despite the jokes, Hope n' Change wants to make something very clear: we're absolutely in favor of hiring the disabled and "differently abled" whenever their skills are a good match for a job. Just like other forms of discrimination, the disabled shouldn't be rejected because they look different or (initially) might make others uncomfortable.

But this regulation goes way, way beyond that. It will kill jobs and further hamper an economy which is already hanging by a thread.

Yes, the disabled deserve a fair chance.

But so does a disabled economy.

Obama will provide Human Resource Agents to help employers meet the new quotas.
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Quit While You're Behind

Remember a long, long, long time ago when Barack Obama declared that he was dedicating himself, body and soul, to being "focused like a laser" on job growth? It now seems that his "laser" was of the Dollar Store variety...capable of producing only a tiny glowing dot which can be chased by simple-minded pets until even they realize there was never really anything there to catch.

All of which is made clear by the latest round of job numbers, which not only show a steep decrease in hiring last month, but actually emit such a stench that economists are now questioning the accuracy of the previous months' encouraging reports.
Still, the unemployment rate dropped from 8.3% to 8.2%, which is good news for president laserbeam, right? Hardly.

Because the decline in unemployment came entirely from people who have joined the legions before them in abandoning all hope, quitting the search for a job, and resigning themselves to the idea that they won't be leaving their houses until Obama is dragged kicking and screaming out of his.

But when people give up their job searches, the government pretends that they cease to exist altogether. So the more people surrender to despair, the better the president's unemployment numbers look. And adding insult to injury, the supposed unemployment rate also goes down when employers throw up their hands and stop offering jobs.

But the real numbers are sobering: the number of Americans not in the labor force just hit an all-time high of 87,897,000...and the actual unemployment rate, including those who have either given up hope or taken a part-time job while wanting a full-time job, is a jaw-dropping 19.1%.

Those aren't exactly the numbers which a sitting president could use to win reelection.

Which is why those voters who get their news from the mainstream media so rarely hear them.
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Easter 2012

Happy Easter to all from Hope n' Change Cartoons!
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