Only Dogs Can Hear It

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To help pay for the Senate's version of Obamacare, Harry Reid has included a new tax on all elective medical procedures. This would include things like Nancy Pelosi's Botox injections, Joe Biden's hair plugs, the floral arrangements at Barney Frank's weekly colonoscopies and, should he ever have the procedure performed, the addition of a spine to Barack Obama.

Trial and Error

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Eric Holder, who famously began his role of Attorney General by pronouncing America "a nation of cowards" is insisting on bringing 9/11's mastermind to trial in New York. He made this tough decision after NOT consulting with the president, the FBI, the CIA, or the military, but he did chat about it with his wife and brother.

But what's the worst that could happen? Well, Khalid Sheik Mohammed will be given reams of top secret intelligence information in order to prepare his defense...enemy combatants and terrorists will now have unprecedented legal protection on the battlefield...and Eric Holder concedes that the man who confessed to bringing down the World Trade Centers may be acquitted.

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Hot Topic

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On a recent Conan O'Brien show, Nobel prizewinner Al Gore proved that he has no understanding of either geology or thermodynamics when he proclaimed that the Earth's core is "several million degrees." As the actual temperature is closer to 6000 Celcius, he was only off by, oh, several million degrees.

As the inconvenient truths about Al Gore mount up, it's becoming increasingly clear that he's telling convenient lies - unsubstantiated by any science - for purely political and financial reasons. Making Gore's support for "Cap and Trade" yet another instance of "Shuck and Jive."