Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Newsweak Man of the Year



Newsweek Magazine has had a tough time during these strange days of Hope n' Change. They haven't made a profit since 2007 (though they helped make a president in 2008), their subscriptions have plummeted, and the entire Newsweek corporation was recently sold for one dollar.

Now, in a desperate bid to build readership (and perhaps get their dollar back), Newsweek has issued a bold cover story that labels Barack Obama a "Terrorist-coddling, Warmongering, Wallstreet-loving, Socialistic, Godless, Muslim president." Wow! They sure aren't pulling any punches!

Of course, like most Americans we don't subscribe to Newsweek, and we're sure as heck not going to shell out $5.95 for an issue on the newsstand now that we know we should be able to buy 5 or 6 major corporations for the same money.

So we may never know exactly why Newsweek is calling Barack Obama a terrorist-coddling, warmongering, wallstreet-loving, socialistic, godless, muslim president...but we appreciate the fact that they've brought it to the attention of millions of people in checkout lines across our nation.
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18 comments:

LLoyd said...

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.......Stilton---BAaaaaa Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa on the Newsweek post. This is one of the best oines I've read on how Newsweek was so pad and lost biz, they were sold for $1 and then yours:

about never reading the preset months NW: like most Americans we don't subscribe to Newsweek, and we're sure as heck not going to shell out $5.95 for an issue on the newsstand now that we know we should be able to buy 5 or 6 major corporations for the same money.

BaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! You kill me every time Stilton.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

"...we should be able to buy 5 or 6 major corporations for the same money."
That line was funnier than the cartoon, although I liked the cartoon and am not damning it.
Without reading the article (which I won't at any price) I'd guess it's about the Obama haters and what they have to say about Duh Won. Of course there will be appropriate refutations from learned sources and experts chosen by Newsweak for their impartiality...bwaaaahaaahaaa (I kill me sometimes).

Pete(Detroit) said...

Why anyone would pay $6 for the literary equivalent of watching a circle jerk is beyond me.
Then again, it seems that not many people do..
A shame, too - BITD, it used to be a relevant magazine. Then, journalism basically died...

moronpolitics said...

I sent the new owners a message via a web comment or twelve that if they had half a brain they could actually save this rag by following Fox News and --- no not be a conservative rag that is not what Fox does ---- TELL THE TRUTH. Conservative rags are just as boring as Time.

Suzy said...

I never pay attention to these magazines so every time you incorporate one I think you made it up. haha.

Unfortunately I would guess the premise of the article is to make fun of tea partiers or something.

John the Econ said...

Or, another way of putting it might have been that it's a magazine that literally isn't worth the paper it's printed on.

drozz said...

uh...people, it's astericked (sp). READ THE FINE PRINT

drozz said...

in other words, newsweek is putting that on their cover to grab attention. it's the same tactic employed by bad movie promos that quote rave reviews.

the funny part is that newsweek, in its snark, makes a pretty funny error. the asterik states that obama is none of these things. of course, "President" is grammatically lumped in with the other terms. on this i agree with them wholeheartedly.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

drozz- Yes, all of those terrible statements about the alleged president are followed by an asterisk which goes to an itty-bitty disclaimer (which comes as no surprise). But our point is that a lot of people either won't see the disclaimer or won't read it.

The Newsweek article itself, which I didn't link to, says exactly what you'd expect: that Fox News and other unethical entities have spun all of these unfounded lies which now bedevil our first blackish president.

Frankly, we think it's a pretty dangerous move for Newsweek to make so much dependent on an asterisk. But then again, it's their "ass to risk."

Buzz Bannister said...

It's all George Bush's fault.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

First, 0bama wants to kick some ass. Now his sycophant-in-print wants to risk some ass. This is getting pretty exciting.

Last time I had a "news"week in the house, it was a for a lining in the rabbit's cage. And the rabbit had the good sense to shred it and scatter it about the room - not even worth having a rabbit shit on it. If I had bought "news"week with that dollar, I'd have expected change. Why anyone would assume the mantle of debt that came with that particular valueless millstone - smacks of a "savior" move; not a business move. No surprise that it was California democrat jane harmon's husband who picked it up. Definitely a MSM 0bamedia poster child.

Well, there is a bright side: Meacham: got sacked in the deal...

drozz said...

SJ-yeah, that's what i was getting to.

Which columnist the other day stated that the american people were acting like a bunch of spoiled children having a tantrum? hypocracy is thick. THICK, I TELL YOU.

anyway, sorry if i caused any confusion. and that "ass to risk" line is pretty good.

Bobo said...

I imagine the article will be just as suspected: An attack on the anti o-blah-ma critics and will even, in the end, expose the notion he is the greatest president since the first use of sliced bread to make baloney sandwiches which, unfortunately, more and more American families are relying upon as their staple meal for the day thanks to "Lefty and the No Brainers" penchant for socialist. Lets hope Obamacare can unclog the colons for those constipated folks.

BTW..I like bologna sandwiches...but not every day.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

drozz- You didn't cause any confusion, you brought up a really important angle to all of this! I'd previously been deliberately sketchy on the details of the Newsweek piece because it was such fun to pretend ignorance and salt their wounds!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Readers- Off topic a bit, but have you looked at RightNetwork.com yet? It just kicked off today... and your own Stilton Jarlsberg will be a regularly featured contributor. Check it out!

moronpolitics said...

There isn't a mass circulation magazine that is anything but extreme left wing. Most cities only have one daily newspaper and it is like what I call the Dallas Morning New York Times. Most news and ALL thought is taken from the NYT with local sports and advertising inserted. Why? Y? Y? There ARE other news services besides the NYT and if I had any other option (in Dallas) I would subscribe today. I have even tried to subscribe to a Fort Worth paper, but I am too far east for home delivery. I realize this seems a local issue to those reading aroun the country, but I bet they have similar problems. And Stilton... YOU can't be off topic here. It's not like I was BEGGING ANYBODY ANYBODY ANYBODY AT ALL to read my blog... :>)... just kidding.

The Ugly American said...

Hey Stilton.... check out who's listed on Friends of RightNetwork [scroll to the bottom]...

http://rightnetwork.com/watch

Congrats, dude!

The Ugly American said...

Ah... I see you're already a contributor.

Nevermind! ; )