Thursday, January 27, 2011

Barack to the Future

At a time of crisis and pessimism, America has finally heard her great rallying cry. And according to Barack Obama, it's "Quick, Marty! Into the time machine!"

In his State of the Union speech, the president declared that Americans need to aspire to a "Sputnik moment," sending millions of baffled citizens to the Internet to discover that the launch of Sputnik was the greatest and only recorded success of communism. Oh.

The president continued his time traveling theme by saying that America used to be the home of innovation and invention, the home of Edison (who invented the lightbulbs Democrats are outlawing) and the Wright Brothers (who created jobs for TSA crotch-watchers).

But somehow, Americans have lost their innovative "can do" spirit since the good ol' Sputnik days of 1957, which is pretty hard to explain.

After all, that's about the same time that the Democrats' "Great Society" spending programs began, to guarantee better educations, racial harmony, and financial stability and security for the rest of our lives. It's about the time that a nascent electronic news media first realized it had the power to elect Presidents based on looks, or could affect the outcome of a war through selective reporting. It was a time when women were encouraged (mostly by men) to burn their bras, do drugs, have casual sex, and get abortions on demand to express their freedom.

So why in the world would Barack Obama want to give up all of that, just to return to a primitive era of opportunity, initiative, hard work, effective education, personal responsibility, and family values?

And the answer, of course, is that he doesn't.

America's problem isn't that her citizens need a Sputnik. It's that her politicians need a Buttkik.



drjim said...

Yep, nothing but more more smoke and mirrors from HRH Obummer.

Turk Buford said...

Where is the money going to come from for these investments (spending)? Ohh I forgot the taxpayer has bottomless pockets chock full o cash (not).

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Turk Buford:
Have we no printing presses? Have we no green ink. Get Uncle Hu on the phone.

Bobo said...

What would he know about Sputnik? He wasn't even born yet, allegedly. If he needs 1.21 jiggawatts he should use some of his "poop fuel" he is so full of.

Quite Rightly said...

"America's problem isn't that her citizens need a Sputnik. It's that her politicians need a Buttkik."

Ain't it the truth!

Honored to make that today's quote of the day over at Bread upon the Waters.

John the Econ said...

It's quite difficult to have much faith in my government's ability to aspire when I have to acquiesce to having my genitals probed by agents of that same government every time I want to board a plane.

Necron99 said...

Every time Obongo opens his mouth he is either flapping his gums about unicorns & double rainbows, blathering incoherently about how Applesauce + Blue Suede Shoes = Magic Space Dust, or barking out something derogatory about what made (makes) this Country great. He has never had anything relevant to say... not now, not then, not ever.

As I have said in the past, "Anyone who's buying the 'Snake Oil' he's selling is either completely on board with his destructive plan for our Great Republic or Mentally Defective."

Jim Hlavac said...

I think that the president meant he wants to return to the Sputnik era -- as Russia. What with his love for socialism and central planning. If he wanted to return to an American golden era it would be Apollo or something, no?

Meanwhile, two days ago I made a comment which elicited a lot of other comments, pro & con, about gay folks, and I thank you all for that. But let's hope, in our return to the values of awhile back, or as we renew this nation for the future, we're not going to return to the good ol' days of gay bar raids and incarcerating us or seeking to cure us through very discredited therapies to change us, or just merely trying to wreck gay men's lives for the fun of it, or the whole panoply of anti-gay stuff of the 1950s and 1960s. Remember, back then we blamed gayness on Godless Communism and they blamed it on Decadent Capitalism. Meaning it must be something else entirely. How about a National Commission on Gay Americans to truly figure it out and then you all can stop this "debate" you're having about us. Don't worry, we gays pay enough in tax dollars to pay for the thing; just like we always paid for our own oppression in the past; just like we fund the government lawyers today to draw a line in the sand against us now by "defending" marriage by outlawing it. Which is very commie-orwell speak, if you ask me.

Thanks Stilton, for linking to my blog, the daily mush, where anyone can come and find a slightly different tea party perspective.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

John the Econ- Just think, if the government had insisted the Wright Brothers had to have their junk groped at Kitty Hawk, they would have said "to heck with it" and gone back to making bicycles.

Necron99- "He has never had anything relevant to say...not now, not ever." Exactly. The man isn't even a convincing liar.

Jim- You're welcome for the link. And I agree that what Obama likes most about Sputnik is that it speaks to the glory days of Russia. Granted, the battery in Sputnik pooped out after only 22 glory days...but that's still three weeks more glory than Mr. Obama has earned so far.

Anonymous said...

Maybe if the Sputnik Moment works out Obama will suggest our next achievement is a Laika Moment. That will actually be easier since our leadership has already gone to the dogs.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Readers- "Laika" was the poor dog who the Russians launched into space with no intention of ever bringing her back down. In other words, they treated her the way Obama is treating our deficit.

Doc - Northern Nevada said...

You are obvisously a well educated man. Well spoken, and you usally get your points across effectively.

However, why, oh why, must EVERY comment you make always manage to get back to gay oppression and gay rights? You would make a good Democratic "talking points" genreator! No matter what the topic, you always manage to slide it over to a discussion of YOUR agenda! Just like they do! Now you want us to EXPAND the government again, by forming another commission! True conservatives want SMALLER & LESS INTRUSIVE government - not larger! We have far to many commissions now! We spend BILLIONS studying so many things - nothing ever gets done!

Don't take my comments as Anti-Gay/Lesbian ... because they are definitely NOT! I have many gay/lesbian friends and I will fight and die for their rights to do what they want in the privacy of their homes or bedrooms, in safety, and without persecution for it. Mostly gone are the days when gays and lesbians were beaten for sport, and fired from (or not hired for) jobs and places in society strictly because of their sexual orientation. You should be happy we have reached this type of treatment of those who chose your way of life, and go away and do what you want in privacy. I don't care what you do in private - it matters not to me. Not one darn bit!

On the other hand I am sick and tired of having it rammed down my throat that it is normal for eveyone and all of our children need to be indoctrinated in school that it is OK and in many instances kids are taught that it is the preffered way to be. THAT my dear Jim is wrong and I WILL fight against it, every chance I get.

I think you are out of line bringing this type of comment into every H&C comment block you can manage. Most see it as just another way for your community to force it on us, and we are getting real sick and tired of reading it again and again.

If Dr. Stilton's cartoon has something about your lifestyle, or even something about a 'flamer' in it (like a comment about Barney Frank) ... then I say your comments are appropriate and 'on point' ... but if it doesn't have anything to do with it ... then stop twisting things around just so you can spout your LGTB rhetoric again and again.

Just my opinion, but I am confident there are others out here in the H&C group of readers who are feeling the same way, but might be hesitant to say something because it is not PC!

Pete(Detroit) said...

Afraid to comment, for not being PC?
At *this* site?
The one where the humor of the day is specifically NOT PC, *every* day?
Yeah, right...

InRe "sputnik moments"get the gummint the hell outta the way, let people keep the fruits of thier labors, and see how much innovation / invention you get.

Necron99 said...

LOL Let's put all Kink on Parade...

* How about a National Commission on Adults Who Get Off on Dressing as Babies & Wearing Diapers to truly figure it out and then you all can stop this "debate" you're having about us.

* How about a National Commission on Adults Who Get Off on Dressing up as Cute & Fuzzy Animals to truly figure it out and then you all can stop this "debate" you're having about us.

* How about a National Commission on Adults Who Get Off on Bondage/Discipline/Sado/Masochism to truly figure it out and then you all can stop this "debate" you're having about us.

* How about a National Commission on Adults Who Get Off on Auto Asphyxiation to truly figure it out and then you all can stop this "debate" you're having about us.

* How about a National Commission on Adults Who Get Off on Cross Dressing to truly figure it out and then you all can stop this "debate" you're having about us.

* How about a National Commission on Adults Who Get Off on Bestiality to truly figure it out and then you all can stop this "debate" you're having about us.

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah......


Better yet, how about no more commissions and a little more 'Common Sense'. Keep the kink in the privacy of your own home and the majority of the civilized world won't give a cr@p... Keep shoving it in peoples faces and you'll continue to suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't agree.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Readers- SOooo, we're all in agreement that the best use of our time and comments here is to stick to politics and bashing liberals?

Will anyone second the motion? Okay, you there in the corner. The motion is seconded.

All in favor, say "Aye."

The Ayes have it. We'll now move on to new business...

TheOldMan said...

Unfortunately it was Upton (Rino) who pushed for the incandescant light bulb ban.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

TheOldMan- D'oh! Thanks for the correction. Although I'm pretty sure the issue has more traction with the Dems than the GOP.

All of which seems like the set up for a joke: "How many politicians does it take to screw up the lightbulb?"

Pete(Detroit) said...

But it's for the CHILLLLLLDRENNNN!!!!!

pryorguy said...


Pete(Detroit) said...

(yes, that was in answer to Stilt's light bulb question...)

JustaJeepGuy said...

On the subject of Sputnik moments, how many people know that while Professor Langley of the Smithsonian was spending ONE MILLION tax dollars (1903 dollars-that's REAL money!) unsuccessfully attempting to invent a heavier-than-air flying machine, Wilbur and Orville Wright spent their own money--all of $700--to actually get the job done? There's a fact that Baracky Fife probably doesn't know.

Earl said...

Justa Jeep. What an excellent anecdote. I've never heard that. I've been really bothered by just how the government would know where to "invest" tax payer dollars to get innovation. Would we have elaborate grant processes? Think of the red tape and likelihood for fraud. Think of all the personnel who'd need to be hired to ensure that funds were allocated "equitably." I'll throw my lot in with the marketplace any day.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Earl, I think you can guess how the gov't would know where to "invest" the money. Yes, it would involve lobbyists and "donations" and earmarks and all the accompanying governmental business-as-usual.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

One thing you can count on is that the "investments" will be in union jobs, thereby guaranteeing mediocrity and the exact opposite of innovation.

Anonymous said...

I did a little research on professor langley, and can only find a $50,000 grant that was given him. His machines did fly, though they couldn't carry a human. In an open letter from Wilber Wright, he thanked professor Langley for his work and said it was a huge help in getting their own flying machine off the ground.
Just wanted to give credit where credit is due, that's all.

SC said...


Bobo......perfect. The whole country could run on his "poop fuel"

Dave in FL said...

I was just a pup when Sputnik flew, but, if I remember correctly the "Sputnik Moment" struck fear into the hearts of Americans because the Ruskys now had the potential to rain down terror from orbit, or, at least, to spy into everyone's backyard.

In recent history, our Sputnik Moment happened when Barakova Obamaski achieved His benevolent orbit, followed by His constellation of Commrads, over all things public and private.

So, if November 2010 is like the '61 edict from Camelot, a response to this Sputnik Moment has already been issued. I JUST DON'T WANT THE SUCCESS TO TAKE 8 YEARS LIKE IT DID THE FIRST TIME!

George / Alvin,Tx said...

to 'Dave in FL' .... agreed, but I think you have the name wrong. last name should probably be 'Obamavitch'. in Russia, "vitch" means "son of". & quite literally, every man in Russia is a "son of a vitch". also, since comrade Barakova is a "junior" he is a "son of" Obama & therefore 'Obamavitch'.

titanic moment said...

The lightning train boondoggle will all be made in China. Just read an article about Comrade Barry's union buddies and favorite corporations getting waivers for opting out of mchealthcare.

JustaJeepGuy said...

To 5:29 PM Anonymous,

Langley made a machine that could glide for a short distance. The Langley machine that "flew" had been extensively rebuilt by Glenn Curtiss (I think it was) in the 1930s, in an attempt to make the Wrights appear less important to flight than they were.

Wilbur Wright was a very polite and generous man and thanked many flight pioneers, even if they really didn't contribute much. Read about his 1908 trip to France some time.

I read that Langley received a million dollars in one of the books about the Wrights, but I can't recall which book it was. Even $50,000 was a gigantic amount of money in 1903.