Monday, December 26, 2011
With our nation's economic and foreign policies in crisis, Barack Obama decided it was time to step forward and give Americans tough, honest answers...to the dumbest questions which Barbara Walters could come up with.
In a much-publicized interview "event," Barack and Michelle Obama sat with alleged journalist Walters and fielded questions which sounded like they'd be asked by an unwelcome and insufficiently medicated seat mate on a public bus.
"If you were a superhero," Babs asked while listening to the voices in her head, "What would your superpower be?"
Showing the quick, out-of-the-box thinking that he is famous for, the president said "I'd like to be able to fly." Which, when you think about it, isn't really a superpower which would do anyone else any good, but could get him to the golf course faster.
Babs then consulted her 3x5 cards to see what other questions were of earthshaking importance, and asked Michelle Obama "If you died and could come back as anyone, who would it be?"
With her many years of expensive university training, extensive world travels, and a solid grasp of history, Michelle was quick to come up with the answer: "I would want to be Bo (the Whitehouse dog), because he has got a great life."
How that great life is different in any way from the one the pampered first lady already enjoys is a bit unclear, other than Bo gets to poop in the rose garden without anyone making a big deal about it.
Walters then turned her manic gaze on the president and asked him the same question. Would he choose to return from the grave as a great economist? A brilliant, life-saving surgeon? A spiritual leader?
Nope, he wanted to come back as Bo, too - because "people do love Bo." Ouch.
The interview continued, seemingly endlessly, but nothing of any substance was ever discussed. Still, Americans did come away with clearer insights about why journalism, the economy, foreign policy, and the Whitehouse have all gone to the dogs.