Friday, May 25, 2012

That's A Hot One



Administration Spokesweasel Jay Carney gave the Whitehouse Press Corps a major (if somewhat prissy) scolding this week, telling the assembled reporters that they are guilty of "sloth and laziness" for "buying into the BS that you hear about spending" with regard to Barack Obama.

Carney then went on to explain to the newshounds that (and we're paraphrasing ever so slightly here) if they'd get off their dead asses and do a little fact-checking, they'd not only discover that federal spending is rising at the slowest level since Dwight Eisenhower... they'd also discover that Barack Obama's wife is actually named "Mamie."

All of which the reporters eagerly scribbled into their notepads because most of them are not only slothful and lazy, they're also drooling morons.

Or at least, they are if they don't take a close look at the tortured numbers which Carney is using to make his preposterous assertion. In a nutshell, Carney is claiming that every cent spent during Barack Obama's first year in office (2009) - including two titanic (in every sense) "stimulus" bills - has nothing to do with the current president, and needs to go on the books as being entirely the fault of President George W. Bush.

Once that little financial sleight of hand has been put in place, Barack Obama could spend as insanely in 2010 as he did in 2009 and have a net "rise" of 0%! And though total expenditures went up even more in 2011, the statistical net "rise" was still just an itty-bitty number of the sort that made voters enthusiastically proclaim "I Like Ike" way back when political slogans were cute, memorable phrases instead of existential Zen koans.

To put it simply, Obama is spending money like no president - indeed, no human being - has spent since the dawn of time. An amount which, symmetrically enough, will be virtually impossible to pay back through the end of time.

But that's not keeping the mainstream media from gleefully reporting that Obama's spending spree has all been an illusion, and that there's no need to elect fiscal conservatives to solve a financial problem that doesn't actually exist.

Frankly, as long as Jay Carney's whoppers were playing so well for the gullible Whitehouse Press Corps, we're surprised that he didn't also simply announce that employment has never been higher, Americans have never been happier, gasoline has never been cheaper, and that the national debt has been wiped out by the skyrocketing value of the president's Facebook stock.

But instead, Carney ducked into the stage wings and - unseen by the reporters - began clopping coconut shells.

You can read all about it from the reporters who were in attendance: "Carney Delivers Great News About Frugal President...Rides Away On Unicorn."

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23 comments:

JustaJeepGuy said...

"...employment has never been higher, Americans have never been happier, gasoline has never been cheaper..." and we've ALWAYS been at war with Eastasia, right?

Larry Sheldon said...

Justa: Right on the money.

Coon Tasty said...

Ni!

Gang of One said...

@JustaJeepGuy -- The fact that the Admin and almost half the electorate BELIEVE these lies is more frightening then the truth behind the lies. And, as a public high school teacher, I get to see first hand some of the newthink that perpetuates this.

Gang of One said...

Then = Than

I hate when that happens ...

Colby said...

"Father, I cannot tell a lie. BUSH chopped down the cherry tree."

It has started, folks. Presiden Urkel and his flying monkeys have run out of ammo, so here come the completely fabricated fairy tales. And the sad part is, a frightening amount of the idiots in this country will take it as gospel!

Hype 'n' Blame....

Pete(Detroit) said...

How this guy can keep spewing this crap w/o his lips just falling off in disgust is simply beyond me...

Coon - would those be African or European coconuts?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Not the coconuts, Pete, it's the swallows - and they're neither. Those swallowing this administrations BS can only be labelled as "morons"...

CenTexTim said...

If the stimulus spending was Bush's fault, then he should also get credit for saving the country from a depression, all the jobs that were "created or saved" by it, and the "improving" economy.

@Gang of One - "The fact that ... almost half the electorate BELIEVE these lies is more frightening then the truth behind the lies"

Amen, brother.

Pete(Detroit) said...

But the swallows don't give you that satisfying 'clop' when you bang them together (and before anyone gets on me about European coconuts, I hear they've been migrating).

And now, for something completely unrelated, hypocrisy on parade...

http://freebeacon.com/senate-dems-betray-lilly/

(Biggest offenders in gender based pay disparity are who?)

Mike Porter said...

For a while there, they had presumed that public opinion was squarely in their pocket. So much so that they actually sent out that mealy-mouth scum-sucking mentally-stunted steaming pile of Gibbs to vomit feces upon the gleaming white shoes of the press. With such a mostly complicit press then, who could blame them? It eventually dawned upon them very late in the game that perhaps someone resembling an adult should do the 'spokesman' thingy. Problem is, it matters not who the messenger is when the message is 'poopy on youppy, you poppy headed dummy pants."

Even those in charge of Hell itself will be most embarrassed to host such guests.

John the Econ said...

@JustaJeepGuy, right on.

If I was on Romney's team, I'd immediately respond that the Democrats have controlled the Congress since 2006, and since all budget authority begins with them, the Democrats are responsible!

Carney, living down to his name.

John the Econ said...

@Pete(Detroit), you're responsible for the laugh of the day. Of course, I'm certain that Congress is exempt from the Bedwetter act, like they are from most Federal legislation.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@JustaJeepGuy- I hear that Eastasia is secretly funded by billionaires, but that Obama has them on the run after all these years.

@Coon Tasty- How much would you love someone to call out "Ni!" after each of Carney's statements in a press briefing?

@Gang of One- Lies are expected from politicians. But the inability of increasing numbers of people to recognize baldfaced lies is really scary.

@Colby- Obama's campaign positions are now being beamed to us straight from Mars. There's not even an attempt to make sense. And heaven help us but this stuff actually flies.

@Pete(Detroit)- I also wonder how someone with any moral compass whatsoever can hold that job (at least under this president). It was a shining moment, though, when Tony Snow was behind that podium.

And regarding African or European swallows, you're forgetting that Obama is half-and-half of each ethnicity! Which is why he could so easily lift our economy out of debt if he just figures out the question of where to grip it.

@Emmentaler- Exactly.

@CenTexTim- Great point: if the spending was Bush's then the "credit" is Bush's. But it's not an argument anyone on the Right is going to make because we know that Obama's stimulus didn't "create or save" significant jobs.

@Pete(Detroit)- In the "War on Women," the Democrats have met the enemy...and it is themselves.

@Mike Porter- That's darn near poetry. Not to mention being completely accurate.

@John the Econ- Yeah, the Dems are a little vague about who was pulling the budget strings during all those years, aren't they? And one might ask how Obama can blame Bush for the spending in 2009 when Senator Obama voted for that budget-busting sum in 2008? Do his Senate votes not count? Or has his position on fiscal diligence "evolved" since then?

MostlyAverageJoe said...

Even Wikipedia admits that "The final FY2009 budget was signed by President Barack Obama on March 12, 2009."

Someone should give the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_United_States_federal_budget link to the carney man ...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mostly Average Joe- I don't think the problem is what Carney doesn't know, it's what he doesn't say. Although come to think of it, what he does say stinks on ice, too.

SC said...

Excellent cartoon & commentary. Must be over your cold because you are hot today. Carney had to duck into the wings because his nose was growing.

I miss Tony Snow, he was a class act and a really wonderful human being.

John the Econ said...

I miss Tony Snow. He was always a breath of fresh air. And he wasn't afraid to take on the media as Press Secretary.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@SC- I'm mostly over my cold and have gotten rid of the cough syrup. I have to admit that it's a pleasure for words to feel like my little friends again instead of stealthy, unfathomable adversaries.

And oh do I miss Tony Snow. He was warm, funny, smart and sincere - and even in bad circumstances, he had a comforting manner which suggested that things weren't as bad as they might seem, which came as great comfort to someone like me who is sometimes (ahem) easily agitated. Tony seemed like a friend, and a ready reminder that truly good people exist in this world.

Losing him at such a young age was, and is, a tragedy. And it's not to my credit that I thought "why him?" and quickly thought of others who I wouldn't have minded seeing going in his stead. But I drop such thoughts pretty quickly, in no small part because I have no doubt that Tony himself would find such thoughts base and unworthy. He remains a positive inspiration.

Coon Tasty said...

@SJ - "How much would you love someone to call out "Ni!" after each of Carney's statements in a press briefing?"

It'd be even better if someone demanded a shrubbery.

PRY said...

I did not serve in the military, but I want to say a big 'thanks' to all here who did! Have a good holiday!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Coon Tasty- As many things as this Whitehouse blames on Bush, you'd think they'd never have enough shrubberies.

@PRY- I didn't serve either, but am grateful to all who've served this country in uniform - and I'm humbled and honored by those veterans who choose to visit this site.

Here's hoping that everyone has a safe, happy, and meaningful Memorial Day weekend.

drozz said...

if you overspend the same amount consistantly, of course the trendline will not rise.

these types of headlines are produced by the regime and targeted for people who can't think.