Friday, April 26, 2013

Eat It

obama, obama jokes, boston, terror, tamerlan, virgins, vegans, stilton jarlsberg, hope n' change, hope and change

Like Punxatawney Phil, Hope n' Change poked its head out of its hole to take a quick look at the news before deciding to duck back down out of the line of fire a bit longer.

In the alleged "news": the surviving Boston bomber was "accidentally" Mirandized and lawyered up "too soon". Michelle Obama apparently paid a hospital visit to a Saudi "person of interest" on a terrorist watch list who just happened to be at the Boston bombing detonations by sheer coincidence. The George W Bush Presidential Library opened but, disappointingly, Barry Soetoro did not burst into flame while there. Politicians in Washington began serious efforts to exempt themselves from the horror that is Obamacare. The FAA succeeded in deliberately inconveniencing as many air travelers as possible while blaming the Obama Secluster (so to speak), and on and on and on.

It makes a body weary. And thirsty, too, if you take our drift.

Still, Hope n' Change celebrates the spirit of TGIF ("Turdboy Gone In Four") and hopes all of you have a great weekend!

Go ahead and laugh at the new Hope n' Change Editorial Desk - it's NICE in here!


Grafton Cheddar said...

Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind - so much craziness, such a constant assault on personal freedom. There is just too much! Back off, Barack!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Grafton: the pace of total conquest is frenetic. I don't expect the enemy to give any relief at the front lines any time soon. I'm also not holding out for any end to it in four years...

Colby said...

The Senate (of all places) passed a bill to fund the FAA and bring back furloughed air traffic controllers. Has Prince Hairy started switching to "cover your ass" mode? Have the Dems in the Senate begun waking up and realizing that they really don't want to go down in flames for Crap Weasel's sake? I hope the House rushes the bill through and gives The Asshat in Chief the opportunity to veto it. My oh my, what will poor widdle Barry do?

@Punxatawney Stilt,
I don't always drink a fifth of scotch every night, but when I do, I prefer Chivas. Of course, I can't AFFORD Chivas, but there's always Mad Dog 20-20. Stay thirsty, my friend.

WMD said...

Stilton Jarlsberg once had a staring contest with a painting.....and won.

WMD said...

His Holiness the Dalai Lama goes to Stilton Jarlsberg for advice...

WMD said...

Stilton Jarlsberg hunts great white sharks....with his bare hands.

WMD said...

Stilton Jarlsberg was bored one he invented the internet

Colby said...

Stilton doesn't always wear a kilt, but when he does, he wears a long one because.... because....
well, you know why.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Colby - funny, I thought all spendign bills had to start in the House? Oh, what, you mean The Hairy Poo is not following the rules? For Shame! Surely THAT has never happened before...
What a scum sucking tool of a jackasshat..

Jim Hlavac said...

Turdboy gone in four, yes ... maybe ... then, alas, probably a bigger load of for one or two more after that ... and all the while a long slow flushing down the drain.

We needed some Tidy Bowl, draino, & rotorooter -- and there are no good options. Maybe a woman like Sarah can clean things up!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Grafton Cheddar- Remember the "good old days" when there was usually only one or two crises happening at a time? Now it seems that if we pay attention to one bit of chicanery from Washington, ten others get a chance to run wild without scrutiny. It's like battling a hydra.

@Emmentaler- Have you seen the trailers for the upcoming film "World War Z," in which fast-moving zombies break through obstacles (and climb walls) simply with the crush of their countless bodies? That's what the Left seems like these days.

@Colby- The FAA delays were a little too obviously an attack on taxpayers, and I hope Barry gets spanked for it. This president is at war with America and Americans.

Regarding self-medicating liquids, I'd like to keep Chivas handy but I can only afford Canadian Black Velvet, which would be cheaper still if they would just set up a Keystone XL-style whiskey pipeline from Canada to Texas.

@WMD- What's more, Chuck Norris mows my lawn and thanks me for the privilege.

@Colby- Because there are some things you don't want to get tangled in your bagpipes.

@Pete(Detroit)- Traditionally, spending bills have needed to originate in the House, but that was before this became Bizarro World.

@Jim Hlavac- On a metaphysical level, I can't even imagine a bigger load than Barack F. Obama.

And the toilet analogies make me want to make a bumpersticker that says "Flush Twice - It's a Long Way Back to Kenya."

CenTexTim said...

This must be a great time to be an editorial cartoonist/humorist. We live in such a target-rich environment.

On the other hand, it is a bit wearying trying to 'process' everything that's going on. This calls for another cup of 'coffee.'

John the Econ said...

Actually, I'm rather disappointed that they'd done a quick fix on the FAA/Secluster issue. But don't think it was for your benefit; it turns out that a lot of people in Washington need to fly frequently and didn't enjoy the inconvenience. It's the exact same reason they're trying to slip an escape clause for ObamaCare through; Entirely self interest.

My favorite excuse for exempting themselves from ObamaCare was because of the "brain drain" that Congress would suffer as experienced staffers would leave because they couldn't afford to stay, or for better opportunities elsewhere. Really guys? Somehow you think that ObamaCare uniquely effects only you in this way?

Seems to me to be another good reason to scrap the whole mess rather than inflict it upon the entire country. But no, it would be better for us all if they were just exempt.

As for the secluster, what it really comes down to is the Democrats blackmailing America; You will submit to endless budget-free spending and more taxation, or we will punish you with no more White House tours and delayed flights.

Just imagine how bad this blackmale will get when they control all of healthcare.

Colby said...

@Pete (Detroit),
It would appear that it is not actually a spending bill, but the Senate granted permission to the FAA to use money from other programs that are flush with extra dough. Now maybe I'm being optomistic, but that is about the only thing I've heard out of DC in years that actually makes SENSE!

And BO ain't gonna like it because it shows that there is plenty of damn money to pay the bills if somebody just uses their damn common sense to spend it wisely. BO is probably beside himself because his idiotic overblown and hyper-exaggerated portrayal of the secluster (thanks, John the Econ) has been revealed. The Great and Powerful Oz is just a dork behind a curtain. I am just praying that people take notice, especially the lemmings.

Nuttin' wrong with Canadian whiskey, and I love your idea of a pipeline. If you build it, they will come (me that is - to Texas).

Colby said...

The Chicago Tribune?? Wow!,0,3782880,print.story

Queso Grande said...

Stilton Jarlsberg......HE was the one who held Chuck Norris down and shaved his mustache off.
SJ not only tugged on Superman's cape, he spit INTO the wind.

I think the constant pace of the assault is intended to keep even his supporters and the Press; but I repeat myself, off balance.
It is tough to imagine the wreckage of our Country post Uhhhhbama. Can we hope for a Coolidge, a Reagan? Do we have ANYONE?

The hills are looking real good. I only wish I could convince the wife that Texas is an option. Just too warm for her.....and me, too. Likes me my winter weather. Thinking Montana or Wyoming.

To all, a fine weekend of family, friends and your favorite libations.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Queso Grande,

After the Colorado (Demo_Rat controlled) legislature's anti-gun rampage the other week, I'm regretting having moved here instead of Montana or Wyoming. Sadly, unless I win big in the lottery, I'm stuck here.

the secret code words for this entry are "toesmen hammered". What a weird combination...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@CenTexTim- This would be a great time to be a paid editorial cartoonist/humorist. As you say, there's no lack of material - but deliberately seeking out reasons to be angry (which I do) is sort of a crappy business model. Still, who am I to choose my compulsions?

@John the Econ- Yes, they cleaned up the FAA mess a bit too quickly in order to keep it off the radar (appropriately enough).

By the way, was "blackmale" intentional, or a Freudian slip?

@Colby- As I understand it, the secluster cuts could easily have been made from non-essential services, but Obama made sure it couldn't that it would do the most damage possible to the public.

By the way, if they DO build a whiskey pipeline, will overuse of the product cause one to become "Keystoned?"

@Colby- Here's a clickable link to your story that's a little easier to use. HTML voodoo; don't even get me started.

@Queso Grande- Note, though, that I did not pull the mask off the ol' lone ranger.

Texas is a good place, though it IS hot in the summer, and pretty thin on the winter weather. However, if you enjoy watching twisters from a lawn chair, you'll love it here.

@JustaJeepGuy- Look on the bright side; maybe you'll be assigned to a re-education camp in Montana.

And "toesmen hammered?!" Luckily, I don't have to fiddle with the secret code words - and my life has become simpler now that I don't have to fight the spam every day. My thanks to all of YOU folks for taking the extra trouble to help me out.

REM1875 said...

My Uncle Dan, God rest him, a crusty Marine Warrant Officer who served in 3 wars, taught me a very valuable lesson-
Clan McGregor poured out of a Chivas Regal bottle has fooled many a 'fine cultured' pallet.
The reality is 'while many consider themselves a connoisseur most of us in reality are common sewers'.
Course it's a hell of a lot harder to fool oneself unless you are progressive.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- Your Uncle Dan's opinion was correct: most people can be fooled by expectation and presentation - whether in politicians or potables.

american Cowboy said...

@REM1875 - After reading your Uncle Dan's opinion I have decided to prepare and serve merde de chien avec la crème au chocolat to some of the liberals with their "fine, cultered, palates".

After all most if not all of them will gladly consume anything, no matter how distasteful, if it is given a fancy name.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@American Cowboy- That phrase not only sent me to Google for translation, it also convinced me to never visit a French restaurant (grin).