Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Natural Mistake

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Borrowing someone else's joke, politicians are like diapers - both need to be changed frequently, and for the same reason. Especially our Pampered (but constantly leaking!) president.

And speaking of politicians who are literally a pantload, New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner is back in the news thanks to revelations that after resigning from Congress in disgrace for tweeting pictures of his tallywhacker to multiple women, he kept on doing it - sending out fresh photos of Weiner Junior while using the preposterous code name "Carlos Danger."

But Weiner's Muslim wife, Huma Abedin - a longtime advisor to Hillary Clinton - is still standing behind her man. Which, given his proclivities, is the safest place to be.

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Bonus: Per John the Econ's posting in the comments section, now that Obama has fixed race relations in our country and foreign relations abroad, he is returning his "laser-like focus" to jobs and the economy. And then he's going to Martha's Vineyard to play golf.

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Pete(Detroit) said...

And given that Mrs. Weiner is Hillary's long time "Aid and companion" (koff) ("secretary" koff) AND her mom is a leader of the muslim brotherhood...

AND she (Huma) was still drawing salary from State after Hillary retired, post Benghazi.. (since paid back, iirc)

So, I have to wonder, is the 'little Weiner' story getting out to provide cover for any of several Huma-Liscious tidbits?

Jim Hlavac said...

It seems to be the rare politician who is faithful to his wife these days. And now, after each and every one is caught, they continue doing what they did -- and get right back to public office or position. Then they preach on morality like a pastor. It's rather sickening, frankly.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Jim: and that the electorate is ostensibly the power by which they regain office is the most disgusting point of it all.

TrickyRicky said...

What a pitiful little excuse for a man. Carlos Danger? Holy crap, you seriously can't make this stuff up. The guy needs some serious time with a shrink, no pun intended.

SusieBee said...

There is something seriously wrong with a man who constantly exhibits himself to anyone who will look. We used to call them perverts and lock them up - now we call them politicians and the Democrats elect them to office.
Love the picture of Barry! This is some of your best work, Stilton!

REM1875 said...

prez zero -the difference between having a big one and being a big one.

Colby said...

Outstanding work today, Dr. Jarlsberg! Well, it's always outstanding, but today is outstandinger.

One HAS to marvel at what strange and twisted things go on inside the head of a dork who would call himself that. And to top that off, guess what scares me even more? Dollars to donuts, Mr. "I'm fascinated by my own dick" would no doubt STILL win the Mayorial election in NYC had he not dropped out. Am I right?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Colby: Like Mayor Marion Shepilov Barry, Jr.? Released from prison only to be elected to the council? It isn't that these miscreants see no issue with running for office again that scares me. See my point regarding the electorate above...

Emmentaler Limburger said...

(And I'm not aware of the textophile having dropped out of the race. So he'll likely find himself in the mayor's office post-erect... er, election.)

David in SoCal said...

So now we know why Huma Abedin won't leave Weiners' wiener, no matter how many times Anthony shoots his pink torpedo with a camera. Looks as if the Muslim Brotherhood supported Abedin's are focused on further infiltration of the U.S. Gubment; as if Obama's elections weren't enough.
More info on the Abedin/M. Brohood connection:

John the Econ said...

Royal Baby. A definite and needed LOL this morning. Thanks @Stilton.

@Jim Hlavac, and why should any of them stop their wretched behaviors? IMHO, Spitzer and Weiner are sociopaths. They don't really care about other people beyond their use as a means to an end. It's all about themselves. As long as the public (and Weiner's stupid wife) is willing to take them back, there's little reason at all for them to change. They get to continue to be rewarded for being perverts.

And you're right @SusieBee, a generation or so ago these two would have been recognized for what they are and would have been treated as such. It's just another price our society is now paying for eliminating the concept of "shame" from the public lexicon. By eliminating shame, all forms of abhorrent behavior becomes possible, and acceptable. I fear that we're just seeing the beginning.

And shame on NYC for even re-considering these made-for-late-night-TV jokes. 8 million citizens in your city, and yet you can't find anybody better to run than these two clowns? Shame. You are now the joke.

Meanwhile, just how bad are things going for Obama? So bad that today he's going to refocus attention upon the wretched economy! Seriously! "Recovery Summer V" is yet another bust, as businesses continue to brace for the uocoming reality of ObamaCare. The last DOL Jobs Report clearly showed that the few "new" jobs that were "created" were, in fact actually part-time positions made to fill the gap created full-time employees being converted to part-time to avoid the "employer mandate" of ObamaCare.

So not only is the Obama economy converting everyone to stagnant lower paying full-time jobs, but to part-time as well. Remember, it's all just part of the "change" you voted for. Enjoy.

Mike Porter said...

John the Econ: I believe that there is a viable contendor out of those eight million you mentioned: his name appears on a soon to be not a prank campaign poster:

Beat Weiner - Gutfeld for Mayor

As Dana Perino said: he'll roast Weiner.

john1v6 said...

Every time I hear about his "laser-like focus" on jobs/the economy, I think about the Death Star and Alderaan

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- If you're noticing some ads on the site (or odd blank spaces) it's because I'm experimenting with generating a little revenue in this godforsaken economy. But if you find the ads really annoying, let me know. I'm very much on the fence about putting up with them.

@Pete(Detroit)- It sounds like Huma has been giving Hillary advice, and Bill had been giving Weiner advice. It's like some incredibly perverse form of wife-swapping...which would no doubt appeal to all four of them.

@Jim Hlavac- I'm unwilling to have "Carlos Danger" and his dancing dick lecture me on any topic related to morality or social responsibility. And I'm not sure which is more sickening these days - the aberrant behaviors, or the fact that our dim-bulb populace either doesn't care or can't remember anything for more than 48 hours.

@Emmentaler- Yeah! What you said!

@TrickyRicky- I think the ship has sailed on Weiner seeing a shrink. I'm thinking a surgeon would be a better choice.

@SusieBee- For Weiner to say that this is nobody's business but his and his wife's makes me want to stand on the rooftop and scream "IT MATTERS!" Every time a jackass does something perverse in public and is instantly forgiven, it's sending the worst kind of message about what's now permissible.

@Emmentaler- Although it does seem like scandalized Republicans have a greater tendency not to return to office.

@David in SoCal- Plus, according to Sharia Law, she needs to put up with whatever crap she gets from Weiner or he can have her stoned. Or maybe he's convinced her that his online sex partners are "temporary additional wives," and are therefore acceptable to her.

@John the Econ- They are sociopaths. And it just doesn't seem to matter to the Left (or enough of the Right, for that matter).

Regarding the economy, I'm just banging my head on the desk when I hear Carney and company talk about the "new jobs" being created - without mentioning how many of them were formally one fulltime job that has recently been divided into two parttime jobs in order to duck Obamacare penalties. That's no net job growth at all, while simultaneously hurting individuals both financially and in terms of their healthcare. Then again, what were we saying about sociopaths in government...?

@Mike Porter- I'm glad you brought up Greg Gutfeld, who has become a personal favorite of mine on Fox News "The Five" and (even more fun) his own show "Red Eye." Seriously, if you're not recording "Red Eye" you're missing out on some hilarious commentary about the news of the day.

I also enjoyed Gutfeld's book "The Joy of Hate." He's a lot more than just "the funny guy" on a news panel - he's whip smart and angry about all the right things.

@john1v6- From now on, that's what I'll be thinking about too!

David in SoCal said...

Words cannot describe the 'honour'(as dear Teddy would type)I am enjoying as a spark for one of your cartoon fires. My life is FINALLY complete, Lord take me now! We may,however,have an issue with Copywrite Infringement and Plagairism, which my Lawyer will be addressing with you shortly. ;-)
Your analogy of Odestroyer's 'laser-like focus' has hit the target with 1/4" MOA for 10 rounds at 1000 yards! Good job! David near KRNM.

Colby said...

My apologies. I thought I heard on the radio this morning that the dic... I mean Carlos Dangler had dropped out. Wishful thinking I guess. So... New York Harbor will need the sign changed. "Give me your tired, your poor, your dysfunctional, your huddled schlongs yearning to break free (from the whitey-tighties)..."

Ads are American! Ads are CAPITALIST! Let 'er rip, I say.

Up to this point, I have always thought about Dr. Evil when BO talks about lasers, but your imagery is much closer to reality. If the chief vacationer ever starts putting actual effort into the economy, we are all indeed totally and utterly screwed!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Stilt: Sheeeeeet no!They're no distraction. Besides: we're all guests here! Rake in in, brother! Rake it in! (But be warned that Google is staffed with imperial storm troopers and collaborators. The IRS and the NSA will be immediately aware of anything that trickles down to you so that it can be properly and conveniently redistributed without any effort required on your part! What service, hey?!)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@David in SoCal- And as long as I'm playing with Weiner, so to speak, you might also enjoy this graphic which I just posted over on Facebook.

@Colby- Yes, the thrust is that Weiner is still in. But will he make it to the finish? It's possible, since his wife is giving him a hand.

@Emmentaler- "Rake it in" is one of the funnier things I've read today (grin). I think in my first month of experimentation I "raked in" about $13 from onsite ads, which is why I'm still trying to decide if its worth the nuisance value.

I should really find out if there's a government program for cartoonists which parallels the one for farmers in which they get paid NOT to grow crops. And now that the NSA has read this, maybe they'll suggest it to Barry.

txGreg said...


re: your reply to Colby. OMG. That was worth of a newly-created "Golden Pastis" award.

REM1875 said...

Prezy zero appoints caroline kennedy ambassador to Japan --finally we get our revenge for Pearl Habor!

Doc go for the adds. All my other favorite sites run them and I survive.

REM1875 said...

Forgive me for saying this but I just can not get it out of my mind. For those of sensitive nature please stop reading this now.
Poor schrillery- spending all those years having to look at huma's bitter unsmiling face between her thunderios thighs.

REM1875 said...

Sorry. You were warned, Some images just permently sear a spot in our brain and there is as of yet no way to bleach them out. Damaged for life. Like the picture Doc linked to of a teddy brist's mom.

D said...

Ofacetime's 'Economics' distraction, and 'don't look over there; look here' speech in Illinois today was not only a waste of millions of taxpayer dollars we don't seen to have for our military, but also over an hour of regurgitated transcripts from since before he was elected 1/2 black god almighty of the USA. He also warned us of more of the same boring rhetoric to be repeated at many more 'millions of dollars wasted speeches'(now THAT'S economics!)throughout the country, in whichever States he carried in his elections. One thing Mr.Olongwinded said, that justified the rumors was, and I quote: "Dick Durbin couldn’t make it today, but he sends his best. And we love Dick." To me, it sounded like two different statements, but that's the way I heard it; deaf in one ear, and can't hear in the other.

Conservative American said...

Obama's useless. Biden's useless. Every single dingaling on their team is useless, and the only thing America is getting from these morons is a good laugh. Here's a nice collection of political memes that had me ROTFLMAO if you're interested....

Anonymous said...

If lamont insane obama HAD a schlong, he wouldn't have to be searching for it during the National Anthem! It is PAINFULLY obvious that he has a SCHLORT, ergo his fruitless quest to locate his mini-johnson, (ie, his vienna sausage).

Colby said...

Don't ever, ever, EVER do that again!! GAAAA!!

SCHLORT? Now that's FUNNY!

John the Econ said...

More proof that liberal men are worthless: What's the deal with women continuing to support Weiner & Spitzer? This all is triggering flashbacks to the '90s when feminists were going to simply absurd lengths to support Bill Clinton after his DNA was left all over the blue dress.

It seems as though intellectually, they just can't let themselves come out and say "We know he's a pig, but we'd rather have him than someone else who might be more conservative." No, they need to rationalize away their obviously boorish behavior. They say silly things like "What he does in private doesn't matter" or "Almost all men cheat, so what's the big deal?"

First, what he does in private does matter. If he's so willing to screw over someone chose to share his life with and took a solemn vow to honor and respect, exactly what makes you think he will care any more about you, someone he doesn't even know?

Second, 98% of all men do not cheat. Perhaps 98% of all liberal men do, but not all men.

Get it feminists? Your problem isn't with "men". Your problem is with the kind of sleazeball men you find yourself attracted to. The problem is YOU, not men, or at least "all" men.

This is just another example of how the left owns the gutter, and we should let them. But that doesn't mean that we're going to let them take us down the drain into the sewer with them.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Mr. The Econ: Spot on.

The issue, to my mind, is the universal relativism that liberals espouse. Rather than things being either good or bad; right or wrong, options are based solely on the basis of the expected outcome. Through a philosophy with no black and white limits; one in which every option (except for conservative or morality-based options, of course!) carries a different gradient within the gray-scale, all options eventually look the same.

(But I have to say that if I were married to Hillary Rodwilter Clinton, I'd probably cheat, too... Weiner's squeeze doesn't appear to be any sort of gem, either - moreso due to her close association with the aforementioned affront to the female gender.)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@txGreg- Oooo! The Golden Pastis! I wonder if I could get Rat to tell me where I should put it?

@REM1875- I think Barry appointed Caroline Kennedy to try to remind people that once his Whitehouse was being called the "new Camelot" - the return of a beautiful young JFK-style couple. But it turns out that he's less like JFK and more like Teddy; and the country is basically Mary Jo Kopechne.

Regarding Huma and Hillary, what they do in private is none of my business - but if they tweet a picture of it, I'll have to scoop my eyes out with a melon-baller.

@D- Barry's economic speech was just more of the same old crap which has been hurting our country for years now. As the WSJ editorial page points out, he's made explicitly clear that his main goal is "closing the gap" between the wealthy and the middle class - but unfortunately, 100% of his efforts are devoted to bringing down those at the top (business owners and investors) rather than lifting the lower economic groups.

@Conservative American- Funny stuff. Sadly, there's no lack of things to laugh at (although it's sort of a wistful, creepy laugh) when examining this administration.

@Anonymous- True fact: there is absolutely no medical information available which documents that Obama has a schlong. Of his own, that is - there's considerable documentation that he's had others.

@Colby- "Schlort" is funny. I think I'll have to work that word into a Johnny Optimism cartoon when the surgeon is cutting...

@John the Econ- Excellent points. For an ideology that claims to reject stereotyping, isn't it funny that the Left clings to "all men are cheating, sexist pigs?"

Yesterday on Sean Hannity's radio show, he was talking to a female psychiatrist who claimed that marital cheating wasn't a good thing, but didn't affect a politician's ability to do his job. But then again, the Left considers lying, cheating, and screwing people to be the job of their political favorites, so the psychiatrist felt no cognitive dissonance.

Personally, I feel that a man with no honor has no place in public office. And for that matter, I don't think he's a man at all.

@Emmentaler- Ah yes, liberal relativism. When a conservative says an employee is "cute," he's sexually harassing her...but when a democrat firehoses a female intern with his DNA, she's using "sexual empowerment" to move ahead in the work force.

The interesting thing about liberal relativism is that they can't/won't tell you if any given act is right or wrong until they know the demographics of the players.

Is it racist to use the n-word? Depends who said it. Is it sexist to refer to women by the c-word? Depends who said it. Is it appropriate to discriminate against someone solely because of their skin color? Depends what color it is. And on and on and on...

Pete(Detroit) said...

Agreed, "Schlort" is both hysterical as a concept, AND as a sound effect... And stilt, as much as I love Pearls, I think I know exactly where Rat would suggest you put that award...
I mean, he's Rat, like that.

David in SoCal said...

One more thought concerning what john1v6 said about the Death Star and Alderaan:
When Darth Obama gets done with, and implements his 'plan'; Obiwan Kenobi will again say: "I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened." We should ALL fear as if something terrible is about to happen.

John the Econ said...

@Stilton, absolutely nobody stereotypes like the left. The only difference is they doth protest too much.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Stilt: when this is all in the rear view mirror, and it's safe to come out, we should have a big HnC gathering. Come to think of it, why wait? Let's just have the NSA send us an address list, and get started with the invites...

George in Houtx said...

@ David in socal: ?1/4 MOA at 1000 yards? DAMN! on my best day I could never reach that! 1" at 1000 yards is considered 'tight'!

David in SoCal said...

@George in Houtx: When it comes to 'grouping', it's NEVER too tight!
You are are a great American, my 2a friend!

George in Houtx said...

@ David in socal: I can do 1" at 600 with my K31 .... 1" at 500 with my Mauser98 .... that is with iron sights! I use a scope on my FAL! at any rate, I try to keep 'polished' .... a Marine never likes to be embarrassed!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pete(Detroit)- Rat probably wouldn't even buy me a beer first.

@David in SoCal- That quote pretty much sums up the way I felt when Barry was re-elected. And I'm not kidding in the least.

@John the Econ- The Left hates individuals and individualism. It's too confusing and too time consuming to do that whole "judging by the content of character" thing. Especially since a lot of Lefties wouldn't know "character" if they saw it.

@Emmentaler- Mrs. Jarlsberg and I were talking about that just this evening. I'd freaking love it. We just need to find a conveniently located watering hole with a drone-proof roof.

@George in HouTx and David in SoCal- I don't understand the details, but I know manly shooting talk when I hear it. (grin)

David in SoCal said...

@George in Houtx: Thank you, and God Bless you for your service to our country, I am forever in your debt. Whenever we get to our SHTF moment, I would be honored to 'have your six', but be fore-warned; my eyes aren't so good any more and I'm estimating my MOA's @ 600yds right now to be 'broad side of a barn'.Guess that's why they make large capy magazines. OoRah on your shooting skills bro, keep up the good work; fight the good fight.

David in SoCal said...

@Stilton: Perhaps we could all meet at the 1.7 billion(our)dollars NSA Data Storage Center in Utah. It's secure, bomb proof, climate controlled, most likely has an excellent chow hall. AND, we can all find our long lost passwords/account numbers amongst the 12 exabytes of illegally confiscated info.

Bruce, (anonymous) said...

LOVE your stuff, and here's your answer to "Is it racist to use the n-word?" According to Rachel Jeantel, the intellectual JEENYUS of recent testimony, there are TWO "n-words" now... one is a racist term and the OTHER (nigga) is simply denoting a male of ANY race. I'm SOOO glad we cleared that up!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@David in SoCal- Great idea! We won't even need to show ID at the door, because they'll already know who we are and when we're coming!

@Bruce- I didn't comment on it at the time, but you're absolutely correct: apparently it's not the "n" part of the "n-word" which is offensive, it's the "r" at the end. Which makes me think that we should simply ban "r" - only then we'd be discriminating against pirates.

James Reynolds said...

I'm very serious about politics but I really enjoy satire. Poking fun at politics and laws is a great way to relive tension when dealing with serious issues. I frequent many political humor blogs and have even created a few political cartoons myself. Keep up the good work!