Friday, October 10, 2014
Per our previously stated goal of sharing good news on Fridays, Hope n' Change is delighted to point out that our first lady has never looked younger, more vibrant, or more beautiful than she does right now...unless you accidentally see her in person. But what are the odds of that?
No, like millions of other Americans standing in grocery store checkout lines clutching their EBT cards, you'll be seeing Michelle grinning at you from the cover of Redbook magazine - even if you can't initially guess who the hell that cute 25-year old is (Halle Berry's sister, maybe...?)
The before and after pictures above were taken within days of one another, rather underscoring the miraculous transformation. The first was at an event where Michelle was speaking to sick youngsters at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital (see? We're reporting good news!) and thoughtfully she did something severe and unexplainable with her hair to give it sort of a chemo-chic look to help fit in with the sick kids. And that was a very, very nice thing to do.
And in fairness, she might have been feeling a little haggard because, in her remarks, she said "it can be hard" living with the president - a sentiment with which we wholeheartedly agree!
In her subsequent Redbook picture, the first lady has grown a remarkably full head of remarkably straight hair in a remarkably short time, her chin has narrowed to a point, she's shed about 40 pounds, and her smiling face is as unlined as a mirror from which her husband, in his younger and less serious days, had vigorously snorted cocaine.
But besides looking glamorous, the first lady also has a very, very important cover story called "Help Our Female Veterans! How we can ALL give back!" in which she talks to five female veterans who've had trouble finding stateside employment...much like about 63 million other people.
But why are the vets having such a problem? "She's been trained to be a leader," Michelle says of one of the vets, "And this country's not giving her that opportunity."
That's right - it's not a problem with the economy, or the negative impact of the president's policies on hiring. The problem is this stinking country - a country which, so short a time ago, Michelle decided to be proud of for the first time in her adult life. And now...we have all let her down.
So Damn It, America - let's do the right thing on this Good News Friday! Let's spread Mrs. Obama's positive, inspirational message and start hiring female veterans like mad!
Or at least teach them how to use Photoshop. Obviously there's a lot of work to be had in that area.