Friday, November 21, 2014
Readers- Press time is upon us here at the editorial offices of Hope n' Change, and that means we reluctantly have to file Friday's story right now, in the absence of many facts, or risk losing out on the free cocktail weenies in barbecue sauce served during Happy Hour.
At the time of this writing, Generalissimo Barack Jussein Obama has not yet appeared on the Univision network, just before the Latin Grammy Awards, on effing Mexican "National Revolution Day," to declare that he's using an Executive Order to tell roughly five million lawbreakers that breaking the law is actually a peachy thing to do. Which all of us, even those of us unfortunate enough to be actual legal citizens, should certainly think about the next time we're considering obeying some dumbass law. (Perhaps we should wear bracelets which will remind us to ask "What Would Barry Do?")
Neither, at this time, has the Grand Jury decision been announced in Ferguson - although this is only a technicality before the rioting, looting, and "blaming the evil white people" begins.
If possible, we'll update this page at such time as we have more access to information. Or, if the news is bad enough, we may just sit in a hot bubble bath with our bottle of Black Velvet Canadian Whiskey. If it worked for Edward R. Murrow, it works for us.
UPDATE: Oh sweet googly-moogly, we actually watched Barry's announcement about amnesty for the illegals, and had a highly kinetic outburst of Tourette's-style rejoinders to the president's lies. And by "kinetic," we mean we scared the hell out of the dog while shrieking at the television.
As expected, Barry pretty much gave the store away to about 5 million illegals. He claims that his magesterial proclamation isn't "amnesty," because "amnesty" is allowing these people to live and work in this country without enforcing our laws. Which is exactly what this sockcooker has ordered for the past six years.
He also claimed that our southern border is really secure because we're catching fewer people crossing. There are actually two reasons for this: during America's protracted recession during the Obamaconomy, fewer people have tried to enter the country illegally. Secondly, the fact that we're catching fewer people who enter illegally doesn't mean there are fewer people making the attempt - it only means we're catching fewer of the them. Put another way, a town that fired all of its police might declare itself crime free because there were no arrests.
Hope n' Change would like to say a great deal more about Barack Obama and the horse he rode in on, but for the time being we're going to drink whiskey and mutter obscenities. While it's still legal to do so in English.