Friday, November 21, 2014


obama, obama jokes, cartoon, humor, political, ferguson, immigration, amnesty, illegals, stilton jarlsberg, hope n' change, hope and change, fuck it

Readers- Press time is upon us here at the editorial offices of Hope n' Change, and that means we reluctantly have to file Friday's story right now, in the absence of many facts, or risk losing out on the free cocktail weenies in barbecue sauce served during Happy Hour.

At the time of this writing, Generalissimo Barack Jussein Obama has not yet appeared on the Univision network, just before the Latin Grammy Awards, on effing Mexican "National Revolution Day," to declare that he's using an Executive Order to tell roughly five million lawbreakers that breaking the law is actually a peachy thing to do. Which all of us, even those of us unfortunate enough to be actual legal citizens, should certainly think about the next time we're considering obeying some dumbass law. (Perhaps we should wear bracelets which will remind us to ask "What Would Barry Do?")

Neither, at this time, has the Grand Jury decision been announced in Ferguson - although this is only a technicality before the rioting, looting, and "blaming the evil white people" begins.

If possible, we'll update this page at such time as we have more access to information.  Or, if the news is bad enough, we may just sit in a hot bubble bath with our bottle of Black Velvet Canadian Whiskey. If it worked for Edward R. Murrow, it works for us.

UPDATE:  Oh sweet googly-moogly, we actually watched Barry's announcement about amnesty for the illegals, and had a highly kinetic outburst of Tourette's-style rejoinders to the president's lies. And by "kinetic," we mean we scared the hell out of the dog while shrieking at the television.

As expected, Barry pretty much gave the store away to about 5 million illegals. He claims that his magesterial  proclamation isn't "amnesty," because "amnesty" is allowing these people to live and work in this country without enforcing our laws. Which is exactly what this sockcooker has ordered for the past six years.

He also claimed that our southern border is really secure because we're catching fewer people crossing. There are actually two reasons for this: during America's protracted recession during the Obamaconomy, fewer people have tried to enter the country illegally. Secondly, the fact that we're catching fewer people who enter illegally doesn't mean there are fewer people making the attempt - it only means we're catching fewer of the them.  Put another way, a town that fired all of its police might declare itself crime free because there were no arrests. 

Hope n' Change would like to say a great deal more about Barack Obama and the horse he rode in on, but for the time being we're going to drink whiskey and mutter obscenities.  While it's still legal to do so in English.


Skeptical Voter said...

I'm surprised you were that calm. Had I watched that nonsense, I'd have had a broken TV screen. Would have thrown a shoe at the emperor--a size 14 E hobnailed logging boot would be the right missile.

Geoff King said...

Black Velvet Time, indeed. I would like to believe that El Presidente's latest totally illegal, unconstitutional, and in violation of his oath of office action will be the straw that broke the camel's back and will cause the Republicans to finally get off their collective Øbamas and stop this madman, but I fear it will be business as usual in the District of Criminals. Sure, they will grumble about it, but will they uphold their sworn duty to protect our country against this traitor? Not, I fear, when it also means a whole lot of cheap labor for their corporate sponsors. Welcome to the Third World, Amerika. We have been sold out.
At least Sheriff Joe here in Arizona has the cojones to do something about it:

rickn8or said...

Stilton, thank you very much for listening to / watching Teh iWon so I don't have to.

If you ever need someone to take a bullet for you...

Judi King said...

I think my brain exploded last night! Welcome to the coming dystopian America. OBAMANATION PLEDGE: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the marxist states of America and to the dictatorship for which it stands, one nation without God, divisible, with liberty and justice for none. (and more taxes for some). This, of course, was meant to be sarcastic, maybe. This morning FNC is reporting the "dic's" numeric "facts" have been fudged by changing the way they are counted.....and it goes on and on.

TrickyRicky said...

I work with many people from Venezuela. The stories they can tell, parents waiting in line for three days for toilet paper or shampoo. Incredible homicide rates. All in a country with plenty of resources, such as THE LARGEST PROVEN OIL RESERVES IN THE FREAKIN WORLD. Forget North Korea or Cuba. Venezuela is our future.

Or maybe Argentina, which in the early 20th century had a GDP equal to 80% of the USA. Now serial defaulter on sovereign debt. Government by dynasty. Is that our future?

Unless the Congress and the courts can roll back this big pile of steaming crap, it just may be time to light Wyatt's torch and let it burn.

Jim Hlavac said...

Screw "amnesty" -- I'm for Manifest Destiny! -- let's take over everything from El Paso to the Panama Canal and get rid of these crap government that's millions are escaping --
the immigrants want to be Americans? Not a problem! -- we'll bring America to you --
should have been done a century ago ...
Time for severe regime change --
And oh how easy it will be to guard the new border at the Canal!

Standlow said...

Unbelievably, you've have made me feel better with this porridge of wonderfulness, Stilton. At least we can still laugh at this poltroon of a President.

Grafton Cheddar said...

Yeah, where are my Spanish sub-titles, Stilton?

WMD said...

How much you wanna bet it's going to be waaaay more than 5 million? Anyone??

tracym said...

I think there's another reason why the "data" Obama quoted regarding deportations is baloney--they changed the definition of "deportation" to suit themselves. Used to be that if someone was caught at the border and immediately sent back that was NOT counted as a deportation. Now it conveniently is. Wow! Look how many people we're deporting! Even though that action doesn't describe "deportation" in the way any normal person would understand the term.

Nothing any of these people say can be believed. That entire speech was absolute hogwash.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Skeptical Voter- I never throw my shoe at the television because, in case the drones find me, I'll need to be wearing my shoes while running.

In all honesty, TIVO once asked users for features they'd like to see added to their DVR machine. I requested a button which would throw an animated pie in the face of whoever's on your TV screen. A lot of other users liked the idea, but TIVO didn't go for it. I still think someone is missing a huge opportunity.

@Geoff King- This will indeed be put up or shut up time for the GOP. History doesn't give us much cause for optimism in such situations, but maybe this time will be better. One thing is for sure- if they let this abuse of power go without mounting a challenge, Barry is going to act like a vengeful god for the next two years.

@rickn8or- "Why take a bullet when you can take a shot?" - Stilton's Big Book of Bar Quips

@Judi King- It was during Barry's recitation of "facts" that I sent Penny (The Official Dog of Hope n' Change) scurrying. Granted, shouting back at the TV didn't accomplish anything, but it made me feel a little better.

@TrickyRicky- Barry's desire is to bring our country to its knees; his gift to the world which we've plundered (in his mind). He's going about it in myriad ways, and they're pretty much all working.

@Jim Hlavac- Sorry, but Nancy Pelosi has already beaten you to the punch on your idea. In June, she declared "We are all Americans - north and south in this hemisphere." And the rest of her comments made clear that all we "Americans" deserve the same rights and goodies from the U.S. government - no matter what our alleged citizenship is.

@Standlow- We can laugh or cry, but laughing feels better and makes the other side much more nervous. I'm glad to help.

@Grafton Cheddar- Did you push "dos" on your keyboard?

@WMD- Five million will be the thin edge of the wedge.

And by the way, the White House claims that the recipients of this amnesty won't be eligible for Obamacare, but I was just on the friggin' website (not by choice) and they make it very clear that you do not have to be a citizen to get Obamacare.

Ouch. I'm getting a throbbing headache.

@tracym- Great point. Obama is not "deporting" more people than his predecessors, he's just cooking the books. His entire speech was riddled with untruths, deceptions, and misleading language (granted, that's always the case).

What was particularly annoying last night is that he didn't even bother to deliver his edict with gravitas - the sonofagun was smirking and cocky as he unspooled his lies. I'm not sure if it was simply unchecked arrogance, or his actual desire to invite a government-rocking fight about this. Probably both.

Rod said...

We didn't watch it for 2 reasons: (A) Made a run to the airport for arriving family arriving. (B)Long time ago, quit listening to any & every thing this SOB says

Both houses of the new congress start work in let's call it 45 days. Shall we quit giving this traitor all the attention he wants, and focus on getting something useful from Congress?

Noticed on national alphabet network news: BO was doing this(quote)"against Republicans". Do we really have no Democrats at all who take exception to this violation of U.S.Constitution, law, & oaths of Office, and most importantly THEIR turf? Let's hope there are actually a quite a few when it really matters. They've been divided by the SOBs; maybe they'll step up now.

CenTexTim said...

File this under "Unintended Consequences:"

...another kind of racism has emerged, unreported by the mainstream media. I’m talking about Hispanic racism against blacks

CenTexTim said...

FWIW, here's at least a cursory exposé of obama's lies from last night.

Fact-checks on Obama speech

graylady said...

When I got home from a 13 hour day at work last night, the non-working Hispanics across the street were on their carport drinking beer. As I got out of the car, one of them yelled out, "Hey, beech, we gonna be legal now. You can't call the cops on us any more." Evidently, these idiots think they are now stalwart citizens of this formerly great nation just because his magesty wants to but votes for 2016.

More importantly, do they really think that just because the socialist destroyer in the White House talks about giving them amnesty, I'm NOT going to call the police the next time they get drunk in public and start shouting obsenities at every passer-by? Youhoo, Officer......

PS: @Jim...... I like your idea, lets make US the Comtinental United States, as soon as we can get rid of that a&$hole in the WH.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Rod- I didn't want to watch Barry, but felt I had to throw myself on the sword for the glory of HnC.

I'd like to think that maybe some Dems have grown tired of Barry's cult of personality and may actually start working with the GOP toward some common goals. Of course, step one will be admitting that we have common goals.

@CenTexTim- So we're seeing more Hispanic racism against Blacks, and a fact-check shows that the president was lying about virtually everything he said last night. Neither surprises me.

@graylady- Your neighbors need to be reminded that they have the right to remain silent. A right which the cops should enforce as often as necessary.

And regarding Jim Hlavac's suggestion, I can't help but think that many of our clueless young people today would assume "Manifest Destiny" is the name of a stripper.

John the Econ said...

I didn't bother to watch because I expected absolutely no surprises. And it seems there were none. There was something for everyone, well, everyone, if your universe is limited to the needs of those who exclusively reside within the Beltway. Big business gets its cheap labor, the Zoë Bairds of the Bureaucratic class get to keep their cheap domestic help without it coming back to bite them at confirmation time, the Democrats believe that they're getting their next generation of ignorant "Gruber Voters", and the domestic poor and middle-class get to take it on the chin.

Again, I have yet to hear anybody ask "Exactly how is flooding the marketplace with 5-million formerly illegal workers going to help the plight of the unemployed, underemployed, and underpaid in the lower and middle classes?"

Oh, the President's minions have plenty of lies and non sequiturs. My two favorites are:

They won't be eligible for ObamaCare: This is meaningless because they don't need ObamaCare! ObamaCare isn't about getting health care; it's about who pays for it. If you don't legally have any assets, then it doesn't matter to you. When illegal aliens get sick, they simply head down to the local emergency room where their care is totally free because they have no assets to attach and the hospital writes off the bill and shifts the cost to the rest of us who do pay.

They're going to be paying taxes: Also meaningless because unless they're making over middle-class wages and don't have a bevy of kids, they're not going to be paying income taxes anyway. In fact, the IRS will actually be writing them checks as they'll now qualify for the mis-named "Earned Income Tax Credit".

@Stilton: Patent the pie-throwing idea.

@CenTexTim, there are plenty of values that those coming from the south of the border will be bringing with them that will not be compatible with the "rainbow" Democrats. Remember Prop 8 in California? That was overwhelmingly supported by the Hispanics. When they inevitably become the majority, as they have already become in many regions of the southwest, do the Democrats honestly believe that with that majority power that they will simply fall in line with Progressive Democrat agendas? They better think again about the monster they're unleashing upon themselves.

The next century is going to be interesting. The US will be Hispanic, and Western Europe Muslim. Once those facts are universally recognized, it would be interesting to see how they butt heads.

David in SoCal said...

Mrs. SoCal & I were watching Oemperor's 'verbal amnesty crapfest' together until Mrs. SoCal politely asked me to STFU, and stop screaming at the tube. I was tempted to 'Elvis' the TV at that point, but decided to step outside for a Howard Beale therapy session....

Another poignant message to Ofuhrer:

American Cowboy said...

"While it's still legal to do so in English."

Quite frankly I get irritated waiting for the Spanish instructions in addition to English whenever I make calls to customer "service".

It is also getting more frequent that the instructions are initially given in Spanish, then English.

I wonder how long it will be before Spanish/Spanglish is decreed to be the official US language, followed by Ebonics, and finally English?

Shelly said...

Since we are neighbors, I think I heard you screaming at the TV. Did you hear me? I did the same exact thing and the cat ran upstairs. Because I can't stand listening to or looking at this Royal A Hole, I muted the TV and covered his face with my hand so that I just read the closed captioning. Still made my blood boil.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- The only surprise about last night's speech is how quickly and thoroughly Obama can still piss me off. I've developed no immunity whatsoever.

You make great points about what this flood of quasi-legals is going to do to the lower and middle classes. But of course, that's still by design - everyone has to be brought low in order to stimulate the final purge of the evil rich. We should all be smart and buy guillotine stock right now (but don't tell anyone you have it).

Phrase of the day/week/year/decade: "Obamacare is not about getting healthcare." Amen, brother.

Excellent point on taxes - the newbies likely won't be paying any. I'll also note that the Generalissimo says that the newly legal will have to pay back taxes, but that assumes A) that they've been earning great wages despite his claim that they're working for below minimum wage in the "shadows," and B) that they've kept better records than Lois Lerner.

Regarding Hispanics and radical Islamics eventually butting heads, my money is on the Hispanics. They won at the Alamo, and I see no reason they wouldn't win at the Allahmo.

@David in SoCal- Now that you mention it, I think I was channeling Howard Beale myself last night.

@American Cowboy- I'm sick of hearing everything in two languages, too, or having to push a button to request English.

And don't even start me on whatever the hell pidgin turns up when you call a customer service line these days. Mind you, I've got nothing against the people trying to make a living at a call center in Calcutta - but I have hearing issues (and temper issues) which aren't helped by broken English on low-bandwidth phone lines.

@Shelly- I think neighbors in Oklahoma might have heard me. And see, you'd be the perfect customer for my TV pie-o-matic!

It would be too expensive for me to develop as an actual electronic device, but maybe there's some analog solution which would work. Maybe a nice "vinyl cling" dripping pie which could easily be applied to the TV scream.

Hmm- Kickstarter project, anyone?

Geoff King said...

Assuming the Republican controlled congress next year fails to do anything more than perpetuate the status quo-which is not a wild assumption at all-I believe it will be time to push for a Constitutional Convention of the states as laid out in Article V of the Constitution. Although a Con-Con has the possibility of going very wrong, since our Constitution has already been shredded, recycled, and turned into White House toilet paper; as Hitlery screeches: "At this point, what difference does it make?".

txGreg said...

This doesn't really obscure the screen, but many times lately I've been remembering a product from back in the 70's/80's and wishing I had one now. Does anyone else remember The TV Brick? I think I've seen a few cheap imitations since then, but none as good as the original.

David in SoCal said...

@txGreg: Yes, I remember the 'TV Brick', but I've found that an 'Oldcastle #30161345' has a much better end result.
"Brick that Pri#k", I say!

George in Houtx said...

@ Grafton Cheddar: you want Spanish sub-titles, hit the SAP button!
@ Jim H.: "manifest destiny"?!?! I'm all for that, my brother. however, I can tell you from personal experience that guarding the border at the canal will be about as easy as doing so at the Rio Grande. back in my younger years, I was part of an "export / import company" bring 'stuff' up from Colombia. once we crossed the Colombian border, it was a smooth trip.
anyway, for those who want to believe Dear Leader is merely incompetent, you are only deluding yourself! that character knows what he is doing.

Geoff King said...

Actually, a wireless CGI addition to any TV set which allows viewers to throw virtual bricks, feces, pies, or the projectile of your choice at anyting on the screen that you disagree with could easily be the next million dollar idea.

rickn8or said...

txGreg, it may be time for that product to return to the marketplace.

Geoff King said...

I did not listen to Øblahblah's speech last night, as I noticed a spider building a web in the corner of my room which nescessitated my undivided attention, but I learned that he actually attempted to quote Biblical scripture to justify his unconstitutional immigration mandate:
Could he possibly have picked a written document, besides the US Constitution, that he has less knowledge of?

John the Econ said...

...and now the big picture becomes clearer. Soon we will see the real purpose behind the "multiculturalism" and PC movements that over the last several decades have turned our former "institutions of higher learning" into mindless conformatoriums pumping out millions of supposedly "educated" people at great expense who now find themselves facing a future quite unlike their mine or their parents.

If these people were truly educated, they'd realize, as we do, that this mass importation of low-skilled labor bodes little good for them. And yet many will not realize it, or even if they do, they will not question it.

Why not? Because they've been conditioned to believe that any such thoughts are themselves "racist", the most awful thing a person can possibly be.

This is the real purpose of "Political Correctness". For the Progressive agenda, the best debate is the one that never takes place. And people who cannot think cannot debate, much less understand an honest one.

And right on @Stilton about "back taxes" and record keeping. Since the beginning of the E-Verify program, these people should not have been able to have been hired by any "legitimate" business. And if they were, there certainly won't be any recordkeeping that anyone with any brains will be offering up.

As for the Hispanic-vs-Islamic showdown: My guess it's going to come down to which group outbreeds the other.

John the Econ said...

As for a low-tech approach to the pie-on-the-screen, does anyone remember these?

Bruce Bleu said...

Because of lamont's deference to the mooselims, in order to stay sensitive to his affections it may be more appropriate to say, "...and the CAMEL he rode in on", (and the probable "romantic" implications that would indicate!).

Judi King said...

Good one, Bruce

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Geoff King- A new Constitutional Convention would make for good theater at the very least.

@txGreg- I remember the TV brick. Sort of wish I had one now.

@David in SoCal- Keepin' it oldschool!

@George in Houtx- You smuggled sugar cane?!

@Geoff King- I'm no expert in scripture, but I'm fairly sure that Barry should burst into flames when he quotes it. Or at least turn into a pillar of salt.

@John the Econ- You're right that the overall plan is to keep debate from happening.

And hells yes I remember Winky-Dink! I also remember a square piece of cling plastic for TV screens that was blue on the top, amber in the middle, and green on the bottom. The claim was that it gave an ordinary black and white TV a color picture. And how about giant fresnel lenses you could put in front of your TV screen to achieve a massive 19-inch picture? Sweet...

@Bruce Bleu- One good hump deserves another...

Grumpy Cuirmudgeon said...

One main point of this run for the border policy was that the illegals will now be paying income taxes. Since Juan, riding on top of the box car isn't likely to be applying for the next Project Director's job on the Mars Project, this is the reality:

The Great Burden of Obamas Amnesty on US Taxpayers


Illegal Immigrant Numbers Increasing in Texas County

Who'd - a - thunk?

Geoff King said...

Please, a moment of silence for deceased ex-Mayor of the District of Communists, Marion Barry. OK, the moment is over. Between his womanizing, alcoholism, and Crack Cocaine use, it is astounding to me that the Dems did not nominate him for president, instead of just re-electing him Mayor after he got out of prison.

Popular Front said...

Hi folks, I have to confess to returning a second time to this story to read the comments before I noticed it said 'Clam' not 'Calm'.