Movin' On Up

Officially, this truck becomes HnC One when Stilton gets on board.

News of ISIS, Ebola, the Secret Service, and Barack Obama's reign of error will just have to wait - today Hope n' Change is about some real Hope and Change for the Jarlsberg family.

Longtime readers may be aware that the lovely Jarlsberg daughter, now age 27, went through an extended rough patch owing to epilepsy and the long, slow search for the right medications to get everything controlled again. Those medications have powerful and sometimes nightmarish side effects, but finally - finally - the magic combination was found: no more seizures, and no debilitating side effects.

And so daughter Jarlsberg is ready to spread her wings again and fly the Hope n' Change coop. Specifically, she's moving from North Texas to Oklahoma City - and the whole family is doing the U-Haul "Adventure in Moving" thing this weekend.  For that reason, it's unlikely that there will be a Monday posting here because after returning home we intend to soothe our sore muscles in a hot bathtub for 48 hours or so.

This is a huge milestone in our lives, and one which we sometimes doubted would ever happen. The support, prayers, and positive thoughts we've received from Hope n' Change readers during this difficult time mean more than you can possibly know and we're extremely grateful.

BONUS: PUPDATE!

It's been too long since we've done an update on Penny, the official dog of Hope n' Change.  She's grown like crazy since we brought her home from the shelter back in February, and is now flirting with 50 pounds (all muscle, by the way) as she sneaks up on her first birthday this Halloween. And we still don't know what mix of breeds she actually is. Perhaps for her birthday we'll get her a DNA test (and pray that Bark Obama is no relation).

She's mostly outgrown the puppyish need to chew everything in sight, although she recently gnawed a good-sized hole in an area rug. And all bets are off if she's able to grab a roll of toilet paper: seriously, it will get shredded faster than Hillary's records in the State Department basement.

In terms of Penny's training, we've won some battles and lost some - a situation we like to think of as bipartisan compromise. "Okay," Penny said during a particularly tense negotiation, "I'll be good on leash walks, obey basic commands, and let you sleep through the night, but in return I get to drink from the toilet and leap from one piece of furniture to another like a gazelle on crack."

Penny is a sweet and loving girl, an occasional handful, and a constant source of playful energy. We're very glad she's part of the Hope n' Change family.

Missing Inaction

Despite Barack Obama's assertion that his intelligence agencies gave him bad information about ISIS (despite those same agencies giving clear testimony about the growing danger in public forums), there now seems to be a new explanation about why the president didn't get the message: he doesn't bother to attend most of his daily intelligence briefings.

According to the Government Accountability Institute, Barry skips nearly 60% of such critical national security briefings. However, in fairness we should point out that he does have a 100% attendance rate for fundraisers, tee times, and hilarious U.N. "roasts" of the United States.

The sad thing is, the president's serial truancy in these threat assessment meetings is neither new nor news.  You can read virtually the same story from 2012, back when Obama could still have been denied a second term.

And radical Islamic terror could have been denied a second coming.

BONUS: THEY'RE SO CUTE AT THAT AGE

BREAKING NEWS: EBOLA IN TEXAS

Ironically, just after creating the cartoon in which Hillary is pooping in her pants, Hope n' Change received news that pretty much has us pooping in our pants: Ebola has arrived in North Texas, only minutes away from our editorial offices.

Even better, it seems that "patient zero" may have been knocking around the area in a contagious condition for a couple of days before being admitted to a hospital. Which means there may be an untold number of other folks incubating and/or spreading the virus in the area.

Frankly, Hope n' Change wasn't too freaked out about this until CDC Director Tom Frieden took to the airwaves with hinky behavior and weirdly scripted remarks intended to assure us that "there's no need to panic" in about the least believable way possible.

His creepiest statement was that the whole world is involved in the fight against Ebola because "we all share the same air." However, Ebola has never been transmissible through the air - unless Frieden knows something about this particular strain that he didn't mean to share on national television.

In any event, America's hemorrhagic roller-coaster ride is officially underway.  And we're betting it's going to be a very bumpy ride.

BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE!

Insight a Riot

Barack Hussein Obama settled into an all-too-comfy chair for an all-too-comfy interview on CBS's "60 Minutes" show and blamed the rise of ISIS entirely on our nation's intelligence agencies.

Obama accused said "intelligence" of underestimating the rising strength of ISIS while overestimating the ability of the Iraqi army to fight back in a meaningful way. Because if Obama had received accurate intelligence, he obviously would have made brilliant decisions to keep the jihadist situation from coming to a head. Or beheadings.

"Over the past couple of years, during the chaos of the Syrian civil war," Obama monotoned, "where essentially you have huge swaths of the country that are completely ungoverned, [Al Qaeda radicals] were able to reconstitute themselves and take advantage of that chaos."

Which was pretty much what everyone with actual intelligence had been saying would happen for years.  Still, the president is correct that the jihadists are taking advantage of the chaos that accompanies a lack of  governance. Although sadly, it is the chaos Obama is creating at home and abroad.

BONUS: Apparently SOMEone Had Sex With That Woman

Grandpa Clinton is passing out Monica-flavored cigars