Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Texas Senator and Conservative firebrand Ted Cruz threw his hat into the Presidential ring on Monday, immediately touching off arguments on the Left about whether his hat is made from beaver fur and has large, comical ear-flaps attached.
The reason Democrats are raising the question is that Cruz was born in Canada, the child of an American mother and Cuban father, and therefore - in their opinion - may be less of an American citizen than Barack Obama. A man who needed half a decade and a recent version of Photoshop to finally come up with a semi-plausible birth certificate.
Only kidding, of course! After the governor of Hawaii (a close friend of Obama) declared that the president's birth certificate would never be found, a low-level functionary magically did find and authenticate the birth certificate, copied it for the president, then locked the original away again without letting anyone else see it - shortly before she became the only fatality in a plane crash.
Life can be funny like that sometimes. And by "funny," we mean freaking suspicious.
But returning to Ted Cruz, his paperwork is all in order and his citizenship is beyond question. Which won't keep the Lefties from being appalled at his lack of racial purity, what with him being some sort of mutant, Conservative, high-IQ Hispano-Canuck.
We fully expect Hillary Clinton, who is widely believed to have popularized the rumors about Obama being a foreign-born muslim in 2008, to launch an ugly whispering campaign against Cruz, suggesting that he arrived in America one step ahead of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (no easy thing in snowshoes) after being caught with a suspicious baggie of dried maple leaves.
Or maybe she'll say Cruz is actually the bastard grandson of Ricky Ricardo (Hope n' Change likes to include au courant celebrity references to keep our younger readers engaged).
In any event, it's too early in the election cycle for us to get very excited over any individual candidate, but we're glad that Cruz is injecting some Conservative ideas into the national dialogue. Not to mention making Democrats way more interested in the importance of actual, legal citizenship than they've been in years.