Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Cruz Control

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, clinton, ted cruz, citizenship, birther

Texas Senator and Conservative firebrand Ted Cruz threw his hat into the Presidential ring on Monday, immediately touching off arguments on the Left about whether his hat is made from beaver fur and has large, comical ear-flaps attached.

The reason Democrats are raising the question is that Cruz was born in Canada, the child of an American mother and Cuban father, and therefore - in their opinion - may be less of an American citizen than Barack Obama. A man who needed half a decade and a recent version of Photoshop to finally come up with a semi-plausible birth certificate.

Only kidding, of course! After the governor of Hawaii (a close friend of Obama) declared that the president's birth certificate would never be found, a low-level functionary magically did find and authenticate the birth certificate, copied it for the president, then locked the original away again without letting anyone else see it - shortly before she became the only fatality in a plane crash.

Life can be funny like that sometimes. And by "funny," we mean freaking suspicious.

But returning to Ted Cruz, his paperwork is all in order and his citizenship is beyond question. Which won't keep the Lefties from being appalled at his lack of racial purity, what with him being some sort of mutant, Conservative, high-IQ Hispano-Canuck.

We fully expect Hillary Clinton, who is widely believed to have popularized the rumors about Obama being a foreign-born muslim in 2008, to launch an ugly whispering campaign against Cruz, suggesting that he arrived in America one step ahead of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (no easy thing in snowshoes) after being caught with a suspicious baggie of dried maple leaves.

Or maybe she'll say Cruz is actually the bastard grandson of Ricky Ricardo (Hope n' Change likes to include au courant celebrity references to keep our younger readers engaged).

In any event, it's too early in the election cycle for us to get very excited over any individual candidate, but we're glad that Cruz is injecting some Conservative ideas into the national dialogue. Not to mention making Democrats way more interested in the importance of actual, legal citizenship than they've been in years.


Geoff King said...

I find it disheartening that immediately after Rafael Cruz threw his toque into the ring, Rand Paul criticized him, saying that he (Paul) has a much better chance of beating Hilarity. Although Rand has not announced that he is running as yet, that statement makes it obvious and shows that the mudslinging will divide the GOP once again. Personally I prefer Paul over Cruz, but either would be a beaver dam sight better that what we have now, eh?

Anonymous said...

Ain't it great, it only took liberal/leftists 8 years to become Birthers. They are not too smart and slow on the uptake. They are not even embarrassed that they have defended illegal immigrants for voting, Obama eligible for President, and now criticize Senator Cruze today for what they defended yesterday. liberals have no shame, logic, or integrity. They have only Hate in their heart.

TrickyRicky said...

The vitriol and crude character assassinations displayed by the usual media suspects yesterday were a sight to behold. Scary, slimy....really? I love it, he scares the hell out of the left, not to mention the beltway RINOS. As they say, you know you are over the target when you are taking fire.

Stuart Brogden said...

There's no doubt Ted Cruz is a citizen of the US. There's also no doubt that he is NOT a natural born citizen of the US. His father was a Cuban citizen when Ted was born in Canada and Ted only recently made efforts to renounce his dual-citizenship status: US and Canada. Cruz is a fine senator (and a Baptist) - what's not to like? But he is not eligible to be President any more than is the man known as Obama.

Judi King said...

We have 20 more months of lies and double standards to put up with. This is only the beginning. I like Cruz and hope his place of birth won't be a problem. His mother is a US citizen and I really don't know what the dic's mother is. Both fathers were born elsewhere.

CenTexTim said...

The left is already <a href = ">calling Cruz a White Hispanic</a>.

Shades of George Zimmerman...

Anonymous said...

Hertitage has a great breakdown of the Constitution with hostory and relevancy:!/articles/2/essays/82/presidential-eligibility

Now that we put that behind us, it's time for a Ted Offensive.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Geoff King- Mudslinging will always happen in politics, and frankly I want our eventual candidate to be able to handle whatever comes his/her way. Obama's race largely protected him from attacks (or even vetting) when he was in the primaries, and look what happened.

@Anonymous- It is a staggering hypocrisy for them to cheer on (and subsidize) illegal aliens as "dreamers," then complain about Cruz's entirely legal citizenship as he pursues his American dream.

@Tricky Ricky- Any Conservative candidate is going to be subject to character assassination from the left. As you point out, hate (in one form or another) is pretty much all they've got to run on.

@Manfred- There's actually no official definition of "natural born citizen," and won't be unless the Supreme Court wants to get involved.

But as the term has been traditionally understood, Cruz is a natural born citizen owing to the fact that his mother was American, was over the age of 14, and she'd resided in the U.S. for at least five years.

There isn't any legal language suggesting that dual citizenship is a disqualification in any way (and as you note, Cruz has renounced his Canadian citizenship).

@Judi King- It would be helpful if the Supreme Court would issue a clarifying decision now, just to prevent legal chicanery closer to the election.

@CenTexTim- If Cruz is a White Hispanic, does that make Barry a White African-American? Race is so confusing these days and, sadly, the baristas at Starbucks aren't answering questions anymore.

Bruce Bleu said...

In response to your comment to CenTexTim;
I've got an idea how Starbuckaroos can try and justify selling a 28¢ cup of "jo" for $5... have the servers do it UNCLAD! Then they can be referred to as "bare-istas" and compete with the java sources where they wear bikinis and such!
We all know how invaluable the commentary about race is among those who can run hot water through ground coffee beans, so, let's up the ante and give them a larger forum! (One thing, however... I wanna see hair nets in more locations.)

John the Econ said...

Actually @Anonymous, the leftists were "birthers" before they weren't. Few recall that when John McCain was contemplating his run in 2008, there were Democrats openly questioning his eligibility due to the fact that he was born outside the US in the Panama Canal Zone. I found this rather curious at the time since it had been long established that a“natural-born citizen” meant being born of naturalized American citizens, regardless of where the child escaped the birth canal. "Why are they making such a big deal out of nothing?" I openly wondered at the time. The fact that McCain's birth wasn't a big deal didn't stop the New York Times from stirring the pot. Of course, their Progressive editors were well aware that it would be Obama's heritage that would come to be far more questionable than McCain's. It was better to get this whole "natural born" stuff out of the way and the public bored with it early before it became a show-stopper problem for Obama.

Of course, if the "multiculturalists" were honest to what they profess as their agenda, you'd think they'd be in love with Cruz. He's the American melting pot dream. But we know that's not the case, as "They have only Hate in their heart."

@CenTexTim, if I was a black nationalist, I'd be thrilled with Cruz being defined as a "White Hispanic". It would mean that the first "black" Presidentcy of the US would not be remembered as such a disaster.

rickn8or said...

"Any Conservative candidate is going to be subject to character assassination from the left."

Well, the left and the GOP establishment...

Colby Muenster said...

If there's anything a socialist hates more than a conservative, it's a conservative of color. In their wee little brains, non-whites and non-males belong to THEM, and how dare conservatives try and horn in on their action! Herman Cain comes to mind; that poor bastard....

Wouldn't it be hilarious if the Republican nomination came down to Cruz, Rubio and Jindahl? The libs would wear out their arms trying to sling that much mud in three directions at once. I just pray it doesn't come down to Bush or Christie.

Anonymous said...

Shrillary is well-nourished: Huma serves her three meals a day - plus snacks!

Joseph-et said...

I haven't seen any stories in the MSM talking about how Ted Cruz would be making history as the first Hispanic president. Then we have Whoopi Goldberg saying to Ted Cruz; “Are you talking for the Cuban or white side?” Is that racist? Oh wait, you can’t be a racist if you’re black. My bet would be that Cruz could draw a large percentage of all of the minority vote. Add to that he appears to “say what he means and means what he says” which is very refreshing for a change and will get him a lot of votes from all sectors.

QuesoGrande said...

I am sorry that I have only time to drop this and run; gals will be home soon and I gots them and the dogs to feed. Too much going on to even get started, now that BurkaburkaburkaBowe Bwergdhal is going to be tried as a deserter I will surely be looking forward to our Host's pithy, trenchant, hilarious artistry and commentary.
So, the drop:
@Anonymous @ 1:51pm, Yes but all Hoooma has to offer is fallafel scented tacos.

Rod said...

It looks like were going to need a hell of a lot of fact-checking over the next 19 months; even if Google is not able to automate it. Let's hope there's a way to keep up.

boligat said...

The issue of Cruz's eligibility will be brought up by the left, probably in the form of, "Didn't you throw a fit over Obama's eligibility?" This will be done as a way to make Cruz supporters into hypocrites or something like that. When that happens the whole issue should be thrown back into their face. "Yes, it was an issue, but since you didn't think it was an issue then, and you made fun of us then, why do you raise it now? Are you trying to embarrass the right? You weren't seriously concerned with the issue before, so isn't it a little hypocritical of you to bring it up now? What does that say about you and your politics? Only hypocrites may apply?"
Or something like that. This whole issue is a great opportunity to attack, attack, attack. As a matter of fact, that's what the right should be doing all the time. Every opportunity should be used as an opportunity for the Repubs to attack.

Oh, wait...

John the Econ said...

Leftist idiocy department: Catching any of the derangement syndrome among Progressives regarding Ted Cruz's purchase of an ObamaCare policy? What a hypocrite!

Of course, in a sane and intellectually honest world, Progressives would know better than to bring this up. After all, it's only because of them that Mr. Cruz is forced to buy a crappy ObamaCare policy in the first place! He was forced to because his family was previously covered under his wife's policy which they will no longer be able to enjoy as she is now taking a leave-of-absence from Goldman Sachs as he runs for President. Since there is longer a viable competitive private marketplace for health insurance, ObamaCare is most people's only choice in such situations.

But Cruz's comeback to this was priceless:

In an interview with CNN, Cruz contrasted his sacrifice with the law-dodging ruthlessness of the Obama administration. “I believe we should follow the text of every law, even law I disagree with,” Cruz told CNN’s Dana Bash. “If you look at President Obama and the lawlessness, if he disagrees with a law he simply refuses to follow it or claims the authority to unilaterally change.”

Brilliant tactic on his part, making himself more relateable to the average citizen. Think Hillary will be on ObamaCare, or at $300,000-a-speech does she even care?

Rod said...

One again the partisans can't seem to get to the heart of the matter. The only issues are they're not able, or they don't want to.

I'm not sure but I think Cruz has used a so-called federal exchange to buy a plan, without subsidy. It also gives him legal and moral standing. What's the big deal about that?

Are we not ALL under so-called Obamacare now, although the acts had different official names? Those acts made big differences to all of us even if we've insurance via Medicare, Medicaid, private or state employer group insurance or as a retiree, via the various exchanges, individual insurance plan, pay the fine and go it alone, or whatever else has been set-up for the privileged, including exceptions granted later for political purposes.

What I know in our case is the medical plans are still somewhat reasonable for the service we need even with the included BS... but costs are risin;, Doctors are fleeing small towns like lemmings, and routine service is far worse. We also receive a whole lot more BS reports that say almost nothing. I also receive claim reports from insurance company (ike always) but now revealing service providers resubmitted claims hoping to get a little payment more tha a year after the service. My aging parents' routine check-ups or service is pitiful unless we press the issue.

And IRS tax refund fraud is out of control and hugely expensive problem for which they're nowhere near addressing. >> Yet our SSNs are right there on the Medicare card that must be shown for medical service<< IRS will pay a fraudulently submitted digital tax filing refund within days and they will pay it to a debit card. A better system to not only allow fraud but encourage it could hardly be designed.

It's a damned mess, all of it.

Stan da Man said...

Queso - She must be getting a lot of Humma's Hummus, 'cause I'm pretty sure the tacos are low cal - unless they're stuffed w/ Weiners, in which case I don't think Hillary would be interested..

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Good stuff above, but I haven't really been able to comment because I put a lot of time into tomorrow's commentary. It won't have the usual jokes - I couldn't help going dark on this one.

I can already imagine the number of "how DARE you" comments the cartoon will generate on Facebook... (grin)