Friday, March 6, 2015
When it comes to the Clintons, you never know which scandals will stick and which will miraculously disappear because of the deal they made with Satan when selling their tattered souls. That being said, Hillary's metastasizing email scandal seems to have the potential to derail her presidential aspirations - and perhaps incur criminal charges.
It seems that when Hillary became Secretary of State, she immediately set up a private email server in her home and conducted all of her official business (and quite likely monkey business) on that computer email system rather than the cyber-secure government system which is required by federal law.
After a two day silence on the subject, Hillary eventually tweeted that she really, truly wants America to see her emails, and State Department spokes-hipster Marie "Jobs For ISIS" Harf has confirmed that this will absolutely happen. You know, eventually.
The problem is, the State Department doesn't have (and never has had) all of Mrs. Clinton's emails - it only has the ones which Hillary's personal staffers chose to give them.
Apparently, a lot of people in high places (perhaps even a certain president?) were aware of and comfortable with this clear violation of law and (oh yeah!) putting classified communications at risk for the sole purpose of protecting Hillary's obsessive political aspirations.
Now that her private email system has been discovered, Hope n' Change would like to suggest that Mrs. Clinton go back and review the many unread messages in her spam folder.
Maybe that's where ambassador Chris Stevens' requests for help in Benghazi ended up.
BONUS: HIT THE SHOWERS
Speaking of people who have no business running for president anymore, Dr. Ben Carson won the "stupidest thing said all week" award (and trust us, the competition is murder) for declaring that homosexuality is "absolutely" a choice rather than a condition of birth.
As proof, Carson said (with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle) that many people “go into prison straight, and when they come out, they’re gay. So did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question.”
So if we understand the good doctor correctly, the difference between being a felon and suddenly being fabulous is whether or not you drop your soap in the prison shower?!
There is much to like about Ben Carson, but he's ignoring his Hippocratic Oath to "do no harm" when he speaks such idiocy.
Hope n' Change, on the other hand, took a Hypocritical Oath which forbids us from looking the other way when an otherwise appealing conservative stoops to the worst kind of stereotyping and anti-gay prejudice.
Carson has now taken to social media to try to backpedal his backward opinion, saying "I do not pretend to know how every individual came to their sexual orientation. I regret that my words to express that concept were hurtful and divisive. For that I apologize unreservedly to all that were offended."
Despite the fact that some bigots would insist he was born to do so, Hope n' Change believes that candidate Carson has now made the choice to tap dance.
And of course, if he is offended by that remark, we're sure he'll accept our unreserved apology.