Monday, March 30, 2015

Receding Harry Line

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, harry reid, retirement, injury, senate

With so many other things happening in the news last week, Hope n' Change didn't have the opportunity to comment on Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid's announcement that he will not run for another term in the Senate, and instead plans to retire to Nevada where he will probably put his decades of experience to use by managing a whorehouse.

 Reid says that his decision not to run again has nothing to do with the hideous, disfiguring, and apparently gangrenous injury to his eye which was allegedly caused during an exercise session when a large rubber band snapped while he was working with it. Not that it's hard to believe that anything, or anyone, would snap if forced to work with Reid.

Reid's major accomplishment as Senate Majority Leader was to pass Obama's worst pieces of legislation by fair means or (more typically) foul - screwing up Senate tradition and procedure to such an extent that the institution may be damaged irreparably.

And of course, once Republicans gained power in the House of Representatives, Reid essentially shut down the Senate so no Republican-sponsored budget or bill could be voted on or possibly reach Barack Obama's pristine and uncluttered desk.  As historians and scholars will someday say, Reid was the banana jammed in the tailpipe of the engine of Democracy.

And when the historians and scholars do say that, they'd better darn well send Hope n' Change a few bucks since the phrase is copyrighted.


Proof said...

Harry Reid, the Dimbulb from Searchlight is leaving the Senate.
Maybe now he can be the Punching Bag from Pahrump?

drjim said...

Now if we can just get rid, oh, say a few hundred more that are just like him, we might be on the road to recovery!

Anonymous said...

Some say that Reid is kind of like Pat Geary, the senator in Godfather 2. I'm thinking at least physically, he might be more like Moe Greene from Godfather 1.

Tomayto, tomahto.


Geoff King said...

Good riddance! Reid showed his true colors when he called supporters of rancher Cliven Bundy "domestic terrorists". The BLM agents in that stand off had no justification for being armed or for stealing his cattle. Reid was behind the land grab so that his son could make a fortune selling it to a Chinese solar energy company. That, or it was all over Harry's great compassion for Desert Tortoises.
Fox news contributor Wayne Allyn Root said it best:
Harry Reid is indeed the poster child for Term Limits.

Let’s honor him by passing a bill called “The Harry Reid Term Limits Rule.” In honor of Harry, from this day forward all politicians should be limited to two terms. One term in office. And one term in prison.

American Cowboy said...

@ Geoff King

Can we skip their first term and go straight to the second?

CenTexTim said...

The problem with Harry Reid managing a whorehouse is that he has already shown he will lose money doing so.

Feds couldn't even manage a bawdyhouse

Bad as he is, I fear his likely replacement as leader of the Senate dems- CHuck Schumer - will be worse.

Rod said...

He's just another "Lips moving? He's lying" crook and traitor. However, it's too bad about the eye injury. Whatever hit him, couldn't it have been in the mouth?

Japheaux said...

Historians need to include all of harry's deliberate destructive policies in their future writings. When the next generation asks why so-and-so happened, it'll be there in print that hussein, pelosi, or reid-em-and-weep wanted this country taken down.

CenTexTim said...

Here's the real story of his eye injury.

Shelly said...

@CenTexTim, I choose to believe the story outlined in your link. I only wish there had been a surreptitious video because I would have loved to seen him roughed up. And, as one commenter noted, where is the lawsuit for the faulty "exercise machine?" That speaks volumes.

John the Econ said...

That Harry's on the way out is not much of a surprise. Being in the minority after so many years of being the top dog isn't much fun. Plus, he's made more than enough money as a "humble civil servant" to last out his years.

I'm not much of a "conspiracy theory" kind of guy. I've more of an "Occam's Razor" type.

So therefore I have to conclude that Harry ran afoul of some less-than-civil types who don't respond well to broken promises. It's certainly easier to believe than the whole "exercise and doorknob" explanation we were fed.

When you play with vipers, sooner or later you're going to get bit.

No doubt this will make for an interesting movie in a few decades, to fill out the era after "Casino" ended.

Anonymous said...

Looks like 3 or probably 4 left hooks. Good ones. Thank you !!

PRY said...

Yes, that was one glimmer of good news that day in an otherwise very dark and twisted political mess! Drop dead, Harry, you worthless old waste of space!

REM1875 said...

Reid had his banana jammed in the tailpipe of democracy? I hate it when I can't find my glasses.

Judi King said...

Dittos to Geoff, especially the two term part. As for dirty Harry's eye "accident", my first thought was.....someone finally cleaned the SOB's clock. But, who knows?

John Greco said...

I'm a historian, and I will use that phase. So, how much?

Joseph-et said...

Harry Reid had a simple misunderstanding. Seems that during a dispute with his wife, she told him to shut up! But, he misunderstood and thought she said stand-up. The rest is history. And folks, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

REM1875 said...

Wow Doc I was reading John's response when it hit me. Why not get a company the sells replacement blades for Occam's Razors to sponsor you? While not used as often as it should be, those who use it swear by it.
As a side note my wife says my meds from the VA are supposed to be here tomorrow.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Proof- Looks like he was already the punching bag somewhere.

@drjim- I wholeheartedly agree.

@CrankE- Ironically, "mo' green" is what Harry insists on under the table to help his (ahem) constituents.

@Geoff King- Harry has been pretty tight-lipped about how he's managed to amass a fortune while in the "public service." And far too vocal about calling our side "terrorists" "hostage takers" and worse. And how about his "inside information" that Mitt Romney doesn't pay taxes?

I could go on and on - suffice it to say that Reid is a despicable human and a stain on our nation's history.

@American Cowboy- I'd love to see Harry get a prison term. Hope springs eternal.

@CenTexTim- I'm not sure it's even theoretically possible for Schumer to be worse, though I suspect he'll be almost as bad.

@Rod- An injury which would have silenced that strident, whiny voice, even temporarily, would have been a blessing for the rest of us.

@Japheaux- I don't think History will treat these scoundrels kindly. Then again, unless we get things turned around pretty soon I don't think we're going to have much more history.

@CenTexTim- I would have to call it pure speculation that Harry had the stew beaten out of him by mobsters. Pure, delightful speculation.

@Shelly- Reid's story smells fishy. He hooked a resistance band to a shower door?! Last time I checked, shower doors aren't really intended for such nonsense. Even if Reid's story is true (not that I'm saying it is) there might be no lawsuit because he was using the product in a negligent manner which was entirely his own fault.

@John the Econ- I'm going with the "mob beating" theory based on Occam's Corollary - going with the explanation which might not be the most simple, but which gives me the most pleasure to imagine.

@Anonymous- Ironic they came from the "left"...

@PRY- "Glimmer" of good news is right; the scoundrel didn't even have the decency to pack his bags and go - he just promised to do so in the future. And frankly, Reid's "promises" aren't exactly reliable.

@REM1875- Aren't glasses free under Obamacare?

@Judi King- As Hillary once said, at this point it doesn't matter how the injury occurred. It only matters that it looks delightfully painful.

@John Greco- So you're the Greco behind Greco-Roman history?! It is an honor, sir. You can use the phrase for free. Tell your friend Mr. Roman that he can, too.

@Joseph-et- Maybe Reid's wife got carried away by reading "Fifty Shades of Grey" and used too large a truncheon on him during their conjugalities.

@REM1875- I'd be proud to have Occam's Razors as a sponsor. I'll even give them a free slogan: "Occam if they can't take a joke."

REM1875 said...

Doc with minds like ours we should have gone into business together, we would have kept the demonRats in all night sessions regulating against us and thinking of new ways to tax us.