Friday, April 3, 2015

Let's Fake A Deal

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, kerry, iran, nuclear, yellowcake, gay, Indiana, RFRA

In absolutely stunning news, Iran has agreed to a nuclear deal with the United States and a small consortium of other nations that hate Israel.

Well, it's not a deal deal. It's a deal to agree on a framework for a deal which will happen in the near future. And what could possibly go wrong with that?

We'll tell you. Or better still, we'll make this a little quiz! We'll present two facts about the (ahem) "deal" and see if you can catch a little problem that John Kerry seems to have overlooked. Ready?

According to the details of the agreement, "Iran’s breakout timeline – the time that it would take for Iran to acquire enough fissile material for one weapon – is currently assessed to be 2 to 3 months. That timeline will be extended to at least one year, for a duration of at least ten years, under this framework."

And when will Iran agree to the framework?  In 3 months

If you're vigorously smacking yourself in the forehead right now, congratulations! You're better qualified to handle nuclear arms negotiations (and basic math) than anyone in the Obama administration! 

Understandably, Bibi Netanyahu isn't too happy about all of this - especially since a high-ranking member of the Iran's Revolutionary Guard recently said that "erasing Israel from the map" remains "non-negotiable."

Maybe not, but thanks to the tireless efforts of Barack Obama and John Kerry, Israel's destruction at the hands of Iran is very, very, very unlikely. For the next 2 to 3 months, anyway.


drjim said...

Well, if Iran hits Israel, Israel will make sure that most of the Middle East will be a smoking sea of green glass....

Geoff King said...

The nuclear deal is a total joke. It only lists a minority of Iranian installations which will be subject to inspection, while ignoring their ballistic missile factories and many other facilities where nukes may be hidden.
Also, once signed, sanctions against Iran will be immediately lifted - without bothering to even pretend to check on their compliance with the accord. This will be a huge boost to the Iranian economy, of which a large portion will go to covert weapons manufacturing in their many secret bases where inspectors will not be allowed. They are already purchasing advanced missile defense systems from their ally Russia. What is going to keep them from spending their new found wealth on nuclear technology and materials from Russia or their other allies of China and North Korea?

Popular Front said...

The Persians (Iranians) have been the double & Triple dealing duplicitous schemers in the Middle East for all their recorded history. They are never, under any circumstances to be trusted. They have just run rings around Obamayomama and that cretin Kerry are are still laughing their asses off in the casbah.
One group who aren't laughing are the Israelis. They'll be stepping up their intelligence efforts tenfold to keep tabs on the Persians. As for Iranian combat capability, it ranks somewhere below 'pitiful'. Even Iraq was kicking their ass in the Gulf War of 1980-88 so what does that tell you?

Geoff King said...

Then there is this:
At best, the nuclear deal is Øbitchboy's attempt to give himself some sort of positive legacy by kicking Iran's entrance to the nuclear power club fifteen years down the road. At worst, Iran already has nukes and can now safely work on matching them to ballistic missiles.

Judi King said...

When you make a "deal" with the devil, you end up in hell. That's where this administration and ALL it's minions belong. You can't trust Iran and never could.

Anonymous said...

Barack Chamberlain...for the win!

Bruce Bleu said...

I think that lamont should have the White House moved to Israel and be located in a Yurt from a store in the Dayton Hudson corporation with its logo PROUDLY festooned on the top... TARGET!

Anonymous said...

Amerika is quite willing to feed other countries to the "Alligator" in hopes of avoiding being eaten;
While ensuring domestic cannibalization at the same time.
This makes perfect sense to the 3 yr old Rulers ruining the country on All fronts from economic to morality. Throw in an Invasion of Illegals just for fun.

Chris said...

So, we have agreed upon a framework within which we have an outline for setting up a committee to investigate the potential for nominating a select panel to conduct discussions which will generate an open-ended timetable to reach a preliminary conclusion that will result in an end-stage solution.

It will be called:

The Final Solution.

Catchy title, ya? Und choo vill LIKE it!

Rod said...

It does seem this is all an elaborate & pretentious cover story; or big show by rather insane players on "our" side.

If they mean for it to be real, they would do well to take an Alex Karras course on Effective Negotiation before they step out of the White House. That would help them do better. What a bunch of smucks.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Rod - Where he punched the horse? (Mongo LIKE candy!)

Sam L. said...

drjim, Israel may decide they have to go first. And those complaining about how bad the Israelis are may have to shut up. To save themselves.

TrickyRicky said...

There is nothing new under the sun.

John the Econ said...

The first sign that this was questionable was when both sides would not appear on the same stage to announce the deal together, as is the usual practice over any "successful" negotiation.

The second was when Obama hit the stage and made this sound just too good to be true.

Of course, then we learn that this isn't, in fact, a "deal", but as @Stilton so well put it, "a deal to agree on a framework for a deal which will happen in the near future." I guess we'll have to agree to this "framework" in order to find out what's actually going to be in it in the future.

Last night I had a dream of being back in school in a class being taught by a fanatical leftist, today praising "peace in our time" thanks to Obama. Shortly thereafter, it's time to turn in our semester project. Mine is of a fantastical theory, with difficult-to-impossible to quantify conclusions with little supporting material.

"What the hell is this" the professor asked. "Oh, it's a framework for actual work that I may or may not complete later. Either way, since it's brilliant it deserves an 'A' now.

Then I woke up. I guess the standards are lower than I thought at Columbia & Harvard. Or at least they were for Obama.

Shelly said...

That childish creep just loves to strut his stuff as all narcissists do. He doesn't care about the consequences. It's all about "look at me." When the first bomb falls, you can rest assured he will blame it on Bush.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@drjim- Unfortunately, I think a lot of population centers in different countries would probably suffer the same fate.

@Geoff King- The more I learn about this (not quite) "deal," the less I like it. Iran claims they aren't giving up anything, and that they'll be making extra money selling enriched uranium to other countries (and terrorist nutjobs).

And as you point out, the "deal" will give Iran billions of dollars right away to invest in evil toys. What the hell is Barry thinking? (As if we didn't know...)

@Popular Front- If there's some interpretation of this "deal" other than betraying Israel, I can't see it.

@Geoff King- I'll go ahead and take anyone's bet if they think this agreement will keep Iran from getting nuclear bombs for 10 or 15 years. My money is still on a year or less - assuming (which I don't) that they may not have a bomb now.

@Judi King- Sadly, there was a time when you could trust the United States. But every ally of ours in the Middle East seems to agree that time has passed.

@Japheaux- Still, Chamberlain has a legacy. Kind of.

@Bruce Bleu- I agree, though mostly I just like the sound of Obama in a yurt.

@Anonymous- I'm not sure it is Barry's goal to keep America from being eaten; I think he really wants to knock all of Western civilization down a peg.

@Chris- Perhaps "Final Solution 2.0"

@Rod- Yeah, the whole thing is smoke and mirrors. And yet, the Nobel Peace Prize committee is probably having multiple orgasms already.

@Pete(Detroit)- That was my assumption!

@Sam L.- I think Israel will have to act preemptively and (sadly) unilaterally. Barry is lighting the fuse on military action of a very major kind.

@TrickyRicky- Congratulations, you just posted the first video comment ever to appear in Hope n' Change! I've added some code to the site which I hoped would let me (and others) insert pictures in the comments, but I haven't gotten it to work yet. But apparently Youtube is perfectly happy here now.

@John the Econ- I like your "framework" idea.

Also, when Barry took to the rose garden to announce "if Iran cheats, we'll know it," my first thought was that even he couldn't miss a mushroom cloud over Jerusalem.

@Shelly- Sounds right to me.

Popular Front said...

@Geoff King - the Persians 'purchasing advanced missile defense systems from their ally Russia'. That's all very well but buying fancy hardware is one thing, being able to use it effectively is another. Up until the '79 Revolution the Persians were a keen client of US military hardware but despite the best efforts of US military training teams, the consensus amongst advisors was that the Persians are flat out mastering the intricacies of water pistols let alone sophisticated weapons systems. Did you know that in 1983 the Persians towed an F-14 (grounded due to lack of spares and the total incompetence and stupidity of Persian ground crews) to the Persian Gulf and attempted to fire an AIM-7 Sparrow air-to-air missile at the US fleet on patrol in the Persian Gulf? Using a pile of truck batteries and jumper leads to provide the juice? That is the kind of cretinism the 'west' has to face up to. You know, if these dickheads DO manage to develop a nuke they'll probably blow themselves up with it, probably during one of their mullah-sanctioned daily sodomy breaks.

REM1875 said...

As the white hut announces -And we are so proud of our deal, why we only payed 6 trillion over their asking price!

PRY said...

And the insanity continues! Obama is either the stupidest man on earth, or has some supernatural ability to make his lackeys think he is smart! Personally, I think it is the latter!

Hate to offend anyone with all this 'God' stuff...but He says in the last days "men will call evil good and good evil", and false information of all kinds will abound!

Olie said...

"In 3 months" link in the article is 404. I'd love to have a reference so that, when I discuss this with others I can point to citation.


Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Popular Front- Interesting info. And how delightful is it to think of Iran's bomb makers having an "oopsy" moment?

@REM1875- I think the White House pretty much got what it wanted: an excuse to remove sanctions from Iran so that country can dominate the region.

@PRY- I don't think Barry is stupid, I think he's well aware of the harm he's doing.

And while I'm not a religious guy, I'll certainly agree that people are mislabeling good and evil pretty freely these days.

@Olie- D'oh! Sorry about the bad link. I've fixed it now (though it's pointing to a different article). In a nutshell, the "framework" is supposed to be worked out by the end of June. That's 3 months - and the framework itself says that the estimated breakout time for Iran is 2-3 months from now.

Amazingly, I haven't heard anyone else raise this issue. Maybe they're looking at the fine print and hypotheticals so much that they're missing the freaking obvious.

Popular Front said...

@Stilton - absolutely true story. My late Dad was in Flight Test in the UK after naval aviation but he had close friends at Northrop & Fairchild (as was) flight test and they'd get together now & again. I was on leave at home in Australia and privileged to sit in on one of their Beer Call conversations and one of topics was the 'worst students' they ever had. For Dad it was Pakistanis, for Frank the Iranians for Charlie it was South Vietnamese and so on. Dad told me one story about instructing a Pakistani Air Force Captain in the Gloster Meteor trainer when they had a flameout; instead of performing the drills the Paki gripped the stick rigidly and recited the muslim 'impending death' prayer and made no effort to save himself or the aircraft despite Pop bellowing at him from the back seat. Eventually at very low altitude Dad punched out through the canopy as the front seater has to initiate canopy release by ejecting first, but wouldn't. Apart from some stitches Dad was OK but the fear-frozen front seater (very experienced apparently) rode it in and was turned into ant food. "Never fuqing again!" was my father's reaction as he cut short his instruction tour soon afterwards. All the other guys had similar stories, funny in hindsight but not at the time. The point is, these ragheads talk big but when it's time to make your hat they are for the most part useless.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Popular Front- Yikes! Great story and I thank you for sharing it! I hope that the same magnificent ineptitude still holds sway amongst our enemies in the Middle East.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Okay, so if the Persians couldn't make an F-14 fly in 1983, how have they been able to suddenly make 19,000 centrifuges and enrich uranium? WHO'S DOING IT FOR THEM?

Rod said...

Knowing you'll see this Stilt: Heard this morning the JEFE in Iran is still negotiating the big items; now wants sanctions lifted when a deal is made not when conditions imposed upon Iran are met. Anyone with any experience and balls would tell them NO, and just to emphasize the point, slap another sanction on them for the continued pecking. Our guys will probably shit their pants trying to decide what to do now.