Friday, May 8, 2015

The M-word

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, chelsea, clinton, foundation, mother's day

Rather than dwell on the unpleasantness of current news, Hope n' Change would like to take this opportunity to reflect on Mother's Day (the most sacred of all Hallmark holidays). And who better exemplifies all things maternal than Hillary Clinton?

Sure, she once denigrated women who do things like staying home and baking cookies for their families. And she humiliated her young daughter during the White House years by dragging her around as a prop to pose with her cheating, DNA-spewing dog of a husband. And she underpays her female staffers who may themselves be moms.

But Hillary has a soft, sentimental motherly side, too! 

Although you'll just have to take her word for it since - by her own proud declaration - she decided to erase every email and computer document related to her daughter's wedding, the birth of her first grandchild, and her own mother's final months of life and memorial service.

Come to think of it, Hillary doesn't exemplify anything good about Mother's Day. But maybe our current first lady does...

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, michelle, mother's day, hashtag

Then again, maybe not.

Still, Hope n' Change thinks the world of most mothers and wishes them all the best this Sunday.  And while their love and lessons last forever, sadly, our mothers themselves are here for all too short a time. Be sure to hug 'em if you got 'em.

BONUS: One Bad Mutha (from the HnC vault)


REM1875 said...

I have heard there were even times when as a young child that chelsea saw her mother, course those were the times she was being used as a prop but still fond memories all the same.

REM1875 said...

Happy mothers day to all moms
I am reasonable sure this is offensive to someone somewhere, get over it.

George in Houtx said...

I have watched Hillary on her rise to power and I can honestly say that she is, indeed, a mother! in fact, mother would be only part of the term for her. the other part, I can't say for fear of being from this wonderful site!
as for Michelle / Michael .... that picture seems to capture the essence of what a class act she really is. like a school in the summertime ...... no class!

Wahoo said...

And a happy mothers day to the other megabucks lottery winner squatting in the WH, Moochelle's mom, the First Granny, Marian Robinson.

Geoff King said...

There is no doubt that Hilarity is Chelsea's mother. The resemblance is scary...very scary. Good thing for Chelsea that her mom didn't do her standard flip flop and go lesbian until after her birth. Now as for the Ă˜bama daughters being born to Michelle, I do not believe that medical science has progressed that far.

CenTexTim said...

In related news, Hooters is offering all moms a free meal on Mother's Day, because nothing says "I love you, Mom" like a platter of wings and a pitcher of beer served by a scantily clad bimbo.

Anonymous said...

You know, if the Supreme court legalizes gay marriage, then next year we will all have to boycott mother's day because it will discriminate against families with "two dads".

Bruce Bleu said...

Yeah, the FIRST thing that comes to mind with these two, (torn between referring to them as "broads" for Shrillarys sake, but "ho's" for magillas sake), is "family values", (if that "family" refers to the Cosa Nostra). And, Shrillary's "dough-eyed" [sic] glance toward Howdy Doodette is inspiring, (wonder how much makeup it takes to cover the "Samsonite" logo under Shrillary's eyes). Plus MAGILLA... I can only imagine Marian L'Wookiee Robinson glorying that little magilla can nearly stand completely upright. Those linebacker shoulders and 72 teeth must make it quite challenging. The REST of the year magilla holds a sign saying "gimme dat stuff" (or another "s" word that means "fecal matter") because "she be such a classy ho". I guess this is the time I should be thankful for the success of Margaret Sanger's "birth control" program, or else "dey be MO uh dem bitches" on the voter roles.

Thinking of the distinction for women in typical cRAP songs, a time honored phrase for lifting takes on a completely different connotation. "The ol' heave HO" sounds like a cannibal with food poisoning rather than picking something up.

Juanita the Icon said...

If you are a progressive, then you are a mutha. Why we celebrate this, I have no idea. Feelthy.

Cookie said...

I simply want to give a hats off, a big salute, and a round of applause to mothers everywhere. I love being a mom in spite of all the trials that come along with it (and for some moms, those trials are literal). IMHO there is no greater calling in life than being a mom--and that goes to all the women who are not yet or perhaps never will be moms but who are surrogate moms to others. I miss my mom dreadfully but am very greatful to many other wonderful women who have helped fill that gap in my life. Happy Mother's Day!!!

John the Econ said...

Up until relatively recently, I didn't think it fair to take shots at Chelsea Clinton. No more. She's now an adult and shamelessly integrated into the Clinton money laundering machine.

With no journalistic credentials or experience what so ever, Chelsea landed a $600,000-a-year job at NBC News, and ultimately gets on air for mere minutes. She's paid $445 for each second of air time, which actually exceeds what Hillary gets paid per-second to deliver uninspiring pap to college students.

It also turns out that she's qualified enough to work on Wall Street at various hedge funds run by friends of Bill, which eventually pushed Chelsea's net worth to around $15-million. Pretty good for a 35-year-old with little obvious experience or talent. It also helps that she married well, to a hedge fund manager.

So when Chelsea Clinton talks about greed, corruption, and income inequality as she parades about in a Gucci dress, Mateo New York bracelet, Cartier bracelet, and Garland Collection & Halleh rings, she definitely knows what she's talking about.

Chelsea says that she doesn't care about money. Well, when you get paid hundred-of-thousands of dollars for just showing up and you're already worth at least $15-million and climbing and never have to worry about unemployment or where your next meal or mortgage payment is coming from, I bet that's pretty easy. I know I'd worry a lot less with that kind of nest egg.

Seriously, are the Democrats actually going to elect Marie Antoinette and family for President?

Michelle as Meme-Fodder: Boy, do you think they are regretting that photo op? Not only has that whole "hash-tag diplomacy" thing been an embarrassing fail, (I bet the Boko Haram thugs got a big laugh out of it) but it's served as a great labor-saving set-up for cartoons like the above. How long did that one take to make @Stilton, 30-seconds?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- I used to feel sorry for Chelsea, who had her dysfunctional family in the spotlight. But now that she's older and whoring for her parents' foundation, that sympathy has evaporated.

@George in Houtx- Yes, calling Hillary a "mother" is really something of a half measure. And while I dislike Michelle, she may not be a horrible mother. After all, she's taken her kids on luxury field trips and vacations to every frickin' corner of the globe (on our dime, of course).

@Wahoo- Yeah, Michelle's mom enjoys a pretty sweet life these days. I don't really begrudge that; it's probably good for the first daughters. Plus, Grandma doesn't tend to shoot her yap off like her daughter does.

@CenTexTim- Thank you for keeping us abreast of this story.

@Anonymous- We'll probably see legislation soon to legitimize the term "gender neutral parent." I wish I was kidding, but now that laws are being passed to mandate gender neutral bathrooms, it seems inevitable.

@Bruce Bleu- Yes, but how to you really feel? (grin)

@Juanita the Icon- It's a white privilege thing.

@Cookie- Amen to everything you just said. All kidding aside, I have nothing but the highest respect for mothers (note: I'm using the term to refer to women who actually raise children, not just produce them.) I can't think of a harder, more important calling.

On a personal note, this has been a tough week for me in some ways. My father died some years ago on Cinco de Mayo, and the last time I spoke to my mom - only days before her unexpected death - was on Mother's Day. So these two holidays, nearly back to back, are difficult.

My mom raised four kids (and trust me, we were no picnic). She was smart, funny, kind, and an amazingly talented artist. I miss her a lot.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- "Thumbs up" on everything you said about Chelsea. She's drowning in money, which makes it pretty easy to say she doesn't care about it. And how the hell can she have any self-respect knowing that the foundation she helps direct is basically stealing 90¢ out of every dollar it collects for (ahem) "charity."

I referred to her previously as a whore, and am sticking to it. Plus, I still think she may be Webb Hubbell's daughter.

And per your observation about the Michelle "sad hashtag sign" photo, it has been an endlessly useful tool for meme makers. And 30 seconds is about what it took me. (grin)

John the Econ said...

@Stilton, if you are living in the Progressive elite realm that the Clintons live in, it's pretty easy to justify 10-cents of every dollar actually doing anything. They probably do feel pretty good about it, and certainly don't see it as "stealing".

For one thing, when someone donates a large sum to the Clinton Foundation, they certainly aren't doing it for the poor, sick, starving kids in Africa. They are doing it to buy access to the Clintons and their political apparatus. The 10-cents that actually goes to poor, sick, starving kids in Africa is just a feel-good veneer to it all; kinda like those brands or retailers who offer to give a small percentage of the sale to charities when you buy something from them. There's nothing wrong with that, but if someone is indeed interested in donating solely for the benefit of poor, sick, starving kids in Africa, they'd certainly bypass the Clinton Foundation and find a charity that spends as little of it's intake on overhead.

From the Clinton perspective, they probably honestly do think they're doing something great. After all, if they weren't in the money laundering business, then the poor, sick, starving kids in Africa wouldn't have received the $9-million (out of $140) from the Clintons. $9-million out of $140-million is better than $0.

This is little different than how the classical mob model worked; from their ill-gotten gains, they'd shower the "poor" with money and gifts, and be regarded as beloved heroes. Great for boosting the self-esteem of those who should have little.

There are probably plenty of mobsters out there watching the Clinton operation, and shaking their heads in amazement.

Colby Muenster said...

Is it true Michelle sent Hillary a KFC dinner with two large thighs, two small breasts with no flavor and extra cackle?

OK... I shouldn't pick on these women for their looks. We were all born with whatever God gave us.

Besides, with these two, the ugly on the inside far overshadows any exterior appearance.

Joseph ET said...

I’ve heard that Michelle was so ugly when she was born that the Obstetrician spanked her Mom.

Skoonj said...

Chelsea looks more like Vince Foster every day.

Bruce Bleu said...

Colby Muenster...
Actually, I've heard that in honor of Shrillary, KFC was introducing a new menu item... "Buffalo Canckles"!

Skoonj said...
"Chelsea looks more like Vince Foster every day."

Not very likely, since Janet Reno is her father, PLUS some DNA rubbed off a "marital aid" made from a part of Howdy Doody.