Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Biden His Time

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Yes We Vatican.
As Democrats grow increasingly nervous about having a cantankerous cackling criminal crackpot ("...and I'm a woman! Ha-ha-ha-ha!!!") as their 2016 frontrunner, momentum is building for a possible run by lovable vice president Joe Biden.

The veep is currently thought to be giving serious consideration to getting in the race, but has said he won't announce his decision until September. Which isn't surprising, considering how long anyone with an iota of sanity would want to chew on the long, long list of people who've "coincidentally" died in unpleasant and unusual ways after getting between the Clintons and a political office.

Frankly, we're hoping that Uncle Joe will throw his hat in the ring, if only for the pleasure of seeing campaign posters that say "Biden: A Big F*cking Deal."

Meanwhile, on the Republican side...

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We'd tell Lucy to just watch until she needs glasses, but it's already too late.
Thursday will see the top ten Republican candidates debating simultaneously, somehow, on Fox News. Theoretically, the candidates will have only a single minute to answer questions, which doesn't sound like it's going to encourage much depth or nuance. But the format should work fine for those candidates who already express themselves in unsubtle soundbites and tweets.

Hope n' Change will be watching the debate (as well as "Close But No Cigar: 2016," the follow-up debate for the GOP candidates who didn't make the top ten list) but we're not really expecting much in the way of surprises or insights. We are looking forward, however, to taking a belt of whiskey every time the word "Trump" is mentioned.

And finally...

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Yesterday was Barack Obama's 54th birthday, which he celebrated by taking a deep breath, making a wish, and then blowing out the coal industry.


Joseph ET said...

Good ol’ uncle Joe Biden, Obamas impeachment insurance. Also, being half black is insurance too.
Appearing on the O’Reilly Factor, Bill O’Reilly asked Trey Gowdy if anyone in the House of Representatives would consider impeachment.
Gowdy’s response? “Have you met Joe Biden?”

I don’t see how Biden could do the job any better than Hillary. I’ve read that he has some experience with foreign policy, but he was always on the incorrect side of the decision. And with his almost daily gaffs there would be a lot of fun for HnC and others.
I don’t see any adults on the democrats bench.

George in Houtx said...

with regards to competition for Hildebeast .... Bernie Sanders is an admitted socialist, but he at least is honest about it! for those who think Obama is doing good, Biden will look good because he can say that he will continue what Obama started.

leave it to "Lefty Lucy" and the rest of the leftists to see the prurient bent of a phrase.

NemoMeImpuneLacessit said...

The Hildebeast ist eine alte Teppichfresserin.

George in Houtx said...

@nemo.... not everyone verstehen sie aleman! perhaps a bit of translating would help!

Fred Ciampi said...

I'm looking forward to Thursday's debate. Even though each candidate will be limited in their time we should get a good look at how well they think on their feet. And I hope they stick to the issues...........

Geoff King said...

Biden for Groper in Chief? Three old white people running for president who aren't republicans? What has happened here?
Øblahblah's latest attack on coal power plant emissions, like every democratic idea, makes absolutely no sense unless the total destruction of our economy and the planet actually is the goal. These plants, which are already the cleanest burning in the world, will be either forced out of business or will have to hike electricity rates to outrageous levels. This will cause even more of our industries to move to China where there are no emission regulations, thereby not only increasing our cost of living while raising the amount of unemployment, but it also will dramatically increase the amount of pollution on the planet.

Dave from the Cheese Head Nation said...

During the Munich crisis of 1938, it is alleged that Hitler was so anxious over Britain and France caving in to his demands on Czechoslovakiathat he went a "little nuts," got down on his knees, and started chewing on the carpet. Nero wrote in German that the Hildebeast "is an old carpet eater," and the "in" at the end of the word "Teppichfresser" denotes a female gender. Also, the word "fressen" in German refers to animals eating. To denote humans eating, one uses the word "essen."

Bruce Bleu said...

Jorge in Houston...
The vernacular for that German word is "carpet muncher", indicating that Shrillary is a lesbian. Here's a link you can use for future language challenges...

Dave from The Cheese Head Nation. said...

My apologies to NEMO. Auto-correct changed it to Nero. Jorge: am visiting Houston right now.

Anonymous said...

"cantankerous cackling criminal crackpot" - perfect. You have excelled yourself.

Cookie said...

All of the insanity in our nation denotes that we truly are not just entering but are well established in The Twilight Zone.

Uncle Dirt said...

Stilton, you have done it again! Who knew that (the Nation) going to Hell in a hand-basket could generate so much excellent humor fodder.

PRY said...

Just caught The One's lecture to the serfs about the considerable merits of his Iran usual, he has it all wrong, but, I'm pretty sure he knows it...just as I believe he has made no mistakes during his tenure, so when he says something like "the affordable care act is working just as it should", he really MEANS it, because it really is 'working like he planned it' to work!

This is a guy who can destroy industry and tell you with a straight face that wind, solar and other green energy is the way to go...again, he knows it is not. Amazing stuff, but sadly, not the first time a tyrannical leader spouts nonsense knowing no one can stop him!

chef621 said...

Please Stilton, don't do the belt thing..........I am so looking forward to Fridays cartoons!

Colby Muenster said...

I don't think there is any doubt Slo-Joe is running. Math: O'Liar hates the Clintons + Joe is O'Liar's favorite ventriloquist dummy = Joe gets all the backing he needs from O'Liar's cadre of rich socialists, ill informed young people, and black activists. And if it ends up being Joe vs Rubio, Jindahl or Carson, who will Hispanics and Blacks vote for? Why, the old, crazy, lecherous, white guy, of course!

I've even entertained the notion that O'Liar himself might even be pulling strings at the FBI to discredit the old hag. Congressman Gowdy may actually be doing something that BO wants by putting Shillery on the hot seat!

In the famous words of Yakov Smirnoff, "What a country!"

Bruce Bleu said...

Oh, BTW Stilt,
You may have created some confusion with using the word "blow" here being associated with lamont, so for those who are uninformed, "blow" with the context of "candles" simply means extinguishing them with breath. The typical context, when it comes to lamont is either cocaine, or something to do with Reggie Loves male member, (boy, was lamont disappointed when he went to that prison and found out they did NOT misspell when they called it a "penal institution").

Anonymous said...

* Stilton,

Sorry to report my AVAST antivirus detected a second malicious URL today (Wednesday). Hopefully, its a false positive but here's the address that was blocked.



graylady said...

RE: anonymous
I am also getting "Threat detected" comments from AOL every time I sign in. Of course, AOL considers any thing conservative a threat.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Joseph ET- I think Biden would be a terrible president, although that still leaves a lot of wiggle room for him to be better than Barry or Hillary.

@George in Houtx- I'm sure Biden could enjoy a lot of support for the "great" job he and B. Hussein have done so far (at least in some people's minds)

And as far as Lefty Lucy finding prurient meaning in "Mass Debate," well, I might have had a little to do with that (grin).

@NemoMeImpuneLacessit- Ich Bein Ein Berlitz Student.

@George in Houtx- Can't we just "push NEIN for German?"

@Fred Ciampi- I'm hoping that some good info will come out of the debates. And yes, the ability for the candidates to think on their feet is vital.

@Geoff King- The other upshot of the nutty EPA policy will be that electricity becomes way more expensive, after which the eternally poor won't be able to afford heating or cooling, which will cause the government to subsidize their utilities, which will force new taxes or surcharges on others. Or to put it another way, hurting the nation's productivity while also redistributing wealth. The climate, of course, will be totally unaffected.

@Dave from the Cheese Head Nation- As has been said many times, "Those who cannot remember History are doomed to miss out on funny Hitler anecdotes."

@Bruce Bleu- I'd like to think that Hillary has to rent a Rug Doctor machine to clean her tongue.

@Anonymous- Birds have to sing. I've got to alliterate.

@Cookie- Indeed. At this point Rod Serling's infamous signpost isn't "up ahead," it's a diminishing speck in the rearview mirror.

@Uncle Dirt- Thanks! Although sometimes I feel like a stand-up comedian on the Titanic.

@PRY- I think pretty much all of Barry's initiatives are working "as planned" - Obamacare, immigration, Iranian nukes, the rise of ISIS, the new "gig economy," ubiquitous food stamps, and on and on.

@chef621- Unless something crazily huge happens at the debates, I'll probably run with a Friday cartoon that I prepped earlier in the day on Thursday. Although I may not play a drinking game, I'll sure as shootin' have some liquid refreshment during the debate. And despite occasional jokes to the contrary, I have to be at least somewhat sober to prep a cartoon and commentary. Uh, usually.

@Colby Muenster- I see Biden running under a slogan borrowed from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: "Mostly Harmless." Not that I think he would be, just that a lot of people see him that way.

@Bruce Bleu- On behalf of readers everywhere, I appreciate your clarifications.

@Anonymous & graylady- D'oh!!! I'm not a tech whiz when it comes to issues like this, but I just don't know how there could be anything actually malicious lurking here. This is (mostly by choice) about the lowest-tech web page you can find; not a lot of scripts, java, cascading style sheets, or much of anything else that would allow malicious code to hide.

The URL you listed is a mystery to me: I couldn't find any links on the page that went there (including all the sidebar ads and links to other blogs). I wonder if any of these warning systems go a couple of links deep, and might have found something on another blog that I've linked to?

If you or anyone else gets more such warnings, please let me know (and specificity is good). So as not to clutter things up here, you can send email to Stilton(at)CutCheese(dot)com (well, after you subsitute the "@" and ".") In the meanwhile, I'll continue to do whatever diagnostics are possible on my end to assure that the site remains safe.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- A quick scan of the HnC site by a security service shows no malware or other problems. Which is more than we can say about Hillary Clinton's email server.

Mobystang said...

Lovable? Like a hemorrhoid.

It's No Gouda said...

Actually, the Dems do have one reasonably sane person running for President. Of course he's not getting any "traction", but if we MUST have a Dem President we could do a lot worse than James Webb.

Boligat said...

Loved your reference to white smoke in the Biden piece. How fitting. First the Messiah, now the Pope.

American Cowboy said...

@graylady said...
RE: anonymous
I am also getting "Threat detected" comments from AOL every time I sign in. Of course, AOL considers any thing conservative a threat.

And here is the message I just received, with no explanation, after many years using an AOL account:
We’re sorry but it looks as though your AOL membership has been cancelled.

Perhaps it is something to do with AOL working hand in glove with certain letter agencies to track and stifle conservative dissent? Or maybe I'm just paranoid for no reason?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mobystang- Yet another good bumpersticker for Joe!

@It's No Gouda- I'll have to read that. I haven't heard about James Webb, although if he is reasonably sane I'd say he has no chance of being the Democrat nominee.

@Boligat- When Biden learned of the ritual behind the Congress of Cardinals and the white smoke, he asked "how to birds even start a fire?"

@American Cowboy- As nearly as I can tell, the only "threat" presented by this website is to liberal orthodoxy. And did AOL really cancel your membership, or might it have been a phishing message of some sort hoping to get your password info?

Then again, maybe someone is turning up the heat on conservative websites behind the scenes. Not enough to get noticed, just enough to be an annoyance and discourage traffic. I'm not normally conspiracy-minded, but in the age of Lois Lerner it would be foolish to not at least consider the possibility.

Fred Ciampi said...

Stilt & No Gouda, concerning James Webb. He is respected on both sides of the isle and has a clean record. But running against The Hildabeast may be his undoing. His plane may go down, his car may lose it's brakes, he may get mugged with extreme prejudice in the park, he may trip over his shoelaces, a tree may jump out in front of him on the ski slope (see Sonny Bono), or any of many misfortunes may befall him. There are just too many coincidental occurrences of untimely demise with those who stand in the way of the Clintons.

John the Econ said...

Seriously Democrats! In a country of over 300-million people, is this the best you can offer us?

For some strange reason, my progressive friends never hesitate to make fun that there are some two-dozen Republicans to choose from. (Seems the only "choice" these people like, well... that's too easy.) On the other hand, their "choice" is the transparently and criminally-corrupt Hillary Clinton, a Socialist, a former mayor of a city that went up in flames a few months ago, and now Crazy Uncle Joe. His chief rallying point so far seems to be "I'm no where as corrupt as Hillary".

Anyone else notice how the media is playing up the part about his recently departed son? The cynical side of my thinks they're trying to ramp up the sympathy vote for Biden with women.

Hey GOP, perhaps you should revive Dan Quayle. Why not? He's nowhere as idiotic and pathetic as Biden.

An aside: With leftist political hack Jon Stewart retiring, who's going to tell millennials what to think?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Fred Ciampi- I agree that a lot of unusual "accidents" happen to the Clintons' political enemies (or even allies who become a liability, like hastily-cremated Commerce Secretary Ron Brown).

@John the Econ- All true. The GOP is actually offering up a wealth of interesting candidates, while the Dems have only a scattering of criminals and incompetents. And say, let me put in a good word for Dan Quayle. Despite his media assassination, he was actually an intelligent guy. Remember how he was pilloried for saying that declining morality on television (in this case, the "Murphy Brown" show) would have an impact on our culture? Turns out that he was right - and now we have the president's daughter working on a TV show that celebrates (and demonstrates) analingus. Geez.

And speaking of Jon Stewart, I had a blood-chilling thought the other. What if he's stepping down so he can run as Hillary's veep? If that happened, I genuinely believe the GOP would be toast.

PRY said...

@Stilton...oh yeh, John Stewart would make that one done deal!

I'm very interested in how it will go tonight at the debates, considering each of the 10 will have a whopping 10 minutes at most to expound their attributes....of course, the lower-positioned 7 will do well just to cut into Trump! Oughta be good!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@PRY- I just watched the early debate and thought everyone did pretty well, though Carly Fiorina was a standout.

John the Econ said...

...and did you see how the DNC treated her?

Imagine the furor had the GOP posted something like this about Hillary?

War on women indeed!

Anonymous said...

I was in High School when this happened: the Sun finally came up toward the end of second period. Talk about sleepy classes!

"On January 4, 1974, President Nixon signed into law the Emergency Daylight Saving Time Energy Conservation Act of 1973. Then, beginning on January 6, 1974, implementing the Daylight Saving Time Energy Act, clocks were set ahead. On October 5, 1974, Congress amended the Act, and Standard Time returned on October 27, 1974. Daylight Saving Time resumed on February 23, 1975 and ended on October 26, 1975."


(PS, I have no clue why the dates don't match)