|This has been a public cervix announcement|
In this case, Hillary dropped a deuce - which is to say, she simultaneously released documents on two subjects: her personal health and finances.
According to her doctor, Mrs. Clinton is in "excellent physical condition" (despite needing an orthopedic pantsuit) and presented as "normal" when displaying her qualification for the presidency during a gynecological exam. He also said that she has overcome the blood clot found in her head following a concussion in 2012 which occurred when she fainted owing to an (ahem) "stomach virus." A stomach virus which, some unverified sources have suggested, she was trying to knock out at the time with a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Financially, the Clintons are also in excellent condition - having "earned" (like most middle class families) $28 million in speaking fees in 2014 for talking about themselves, despite not being able to recall anything about their past when under oath. And generously, the Clintons gave $3 million to charity in 2014 - which would be a lot more heartwarming if the charity hadn't been the Clinton Family Foundation (which it was).
By wild coincidence and probably not indictable conspiracy, the State Department also took a massive Hillary dump on Friday, offering up more heavily-redacted documents which had been transmitted on the unsecured private email server which was installed in her mansion by young "Geek Squad" technicians with Russian accents.
According to a State Department spokesman, there was nothing classified in the latest round of emails and the many thick black redaction markouts were probably just scribbles left over from the period when post-blood clot Hillary was relearning how to use pens, eating utensils, and lies.