Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Alaskhole

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, alaska, climate change, denali, oil, bear grylls, dog, martha's vineyard
"Wow," you may be saying to yourself. "Stilt certainly went a long way to set up that joke." But not as far, we hasten to point out, as Barack Obama himself has gone for his joke of a visit to Alaska - spewing tons of planet-killing gasses from Air Force One the entire way.

The president has journeyed to the 57th state (or is it the 56th?) in order to take credit for new oil drilling and to decry the imminent environmental disaster the world faces from, uh, new oil drilling. Say what you will about the man, but he does have a gift for hypocrisy.

Speaking of which, while in Alaska Mr. Obama will also be taping a guest appearance on the popular reality series "Running Wild with Bear Grylls" in which the president will demonstrate the wilderness survival skills he's honed during multiple visits to Martha's Vineyard.

Scheduled events include discussing climate change while hiking along a glacier which has shrunken by a terrifying 1.25 miles "in recent decades" and, if circumstances allow,  killing and devouring a wild dog topped with Indonesian "Soetoro sauce."

On a military note, the president is calling for the construction and deployment of more icebreakers in arctic waters to help counterbalance the growing and aggressive dominance of Russia in the region. Currently, Vladimir Putin has 41 icebreakers and Obama only has two. Unless you're willing to include "Hi there, is this your first visit to Man's Country?"

The president will be leaving one additional mark on Alaska (not unlike writing his name in the snow) by renaming America's highest peak - thereby creating thousands of jobs for people in the business of printing maps and atlases.

As a gesture of support to Alaska's native population, what was formerly Mt. McKinley will now be known as "Denali" - which is the traditional Athabascan name meaning "The High One."

Perhaps not coincidentally, this was also the president's nickname in the Choom Gang.

We'll be here all week, folks. Try the seal!

23 comments:

Fred Ciampi said...

This president, besides being a maelstrom of hypocritical jib jab, is taking more and more liberties at being an emperor and czar than a real leader. He is 'leading' by edict and proclamation rather than good decision making. When he was running for the presidency he said that his would be the most transparent administration in history. It's about as transparent as lead. Of course, he's said a lot of things which haven't come true as well.

It is funny though (not ha ha funny but terribly ironic funny) how renaming Mount McKinley goes hand and hand with everything the administration has been doing to change everything else about our once great country. The changes in our schools (one and one doesn't equal two anymore), it's permissible to loot and break the law in just about anyway one wants to as long as the lawbreaker looks like Barry's son, and on and on.

This is also reminiscent of Orwell's Animal Farm when the Pigs-in-charge painted under the Seven Commandments of Animalism sign that said "All animals are created equal" and added "Except some animals are more equal than others".

It seams as if Snowball and Napoleon (in DC) become more 'equal' every day.

Ciccio said...

Have you all heard the terrible news that 75 billion tons of glacier melted in the last few decades.That will most likely cause the Hudson to flow down Broadway or something like it. On seconds thought, check with Nasa, their data is usually pretty good. They tell me the Oceans of the world are 1.335 billion sq. KM, average depth 3688M. Thank goodness, Broadway is safe, 75 Billion tons will raise the worlds oceans by 1/150 of an inch. A sixth of a millimeter in metric.

TrickyRicky said...

@Ciccio-silly, silly person bringing actual numbers and stuff to the discussion. Don't you know that the "science" is settled? Manbearpig has so mandated. Now leave me alone, I still have 2 more cords of wood to split, it's going to be a long winter.

John GaultCSA said...

Made this meme yesterday of the same obvious gag about "the high one"

http://csa-1776.org/images/cartoons/20150904denali.jpg

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Fred Ciampi- I've got to admit that the "Black Lives Matter" marchers might well be carrying signs saying "More Equal Than Others" at this point.

@Ciccio- In Barry's apocalyptic speech, he referred to entire countries sinking under the all-consuming waters. He didn't specify which countries would disappear Atlantis-style, which seemed an odd omission.

@TrickyRicky- You've got wood? That's odd - Barry said that the forests were bursting into flames all by themselves.

@John GaultCSA- Nice! I think we were probably both inspired by Drudge's headline the other day which showed a picture of Barry and the headline "The High One."

@Readers- A quick sidebar: one of the reasons I don't believe an iota of the rhetoric about the immediate danger of climate change is that the government is still failing to do anything about the threat from an EMP attack (or alternately a large solar flare). The danger is far greater, far more immediate, and far more "resolvable."

Anyone serious about an existential environmental threat would definitely give this the higher priority, assuming they didn't want our nation to be so vulnerable that we could be knocked out by one bad actor with one nuke (or just a singularly unlucky solar flare).

Boligat said...

@Stilty- The reason no one in the government is concerned about an EMP attack is because they are convinced that the tin-foil hats they wear will protect them.

Geoff King said...

The renaming of Mt. Mckinley may be just a start. What about Mt. Saint Helens? Isn't that too religious for the athiest crowd? Or, how about the Mississippi River? That is a Native American word meaning "Father of Waters". A little too sexist, I'd say.

Anonymous said...

The coming weather forecast is in the book of Revelation (last book of the Bible). Nothing that man can do will change it. When the earth (mankind) is judged by God, extremes in the weather are forecast. Great hail stones weighing between 85 and 114 pounds will fall. The sun will scorch the earth. Man can not stop what God has ordained for those who refused His mercy and grace, those who refused to believe His word. So far the Bible has a track record of 100% of prophecies coming true. I have no reason to believe that these will not come true, especially given the fact that the weather is already starting to warm up. There is still a way out for any who seek to find it. John 3:16

Mark Pugner said...

Is "Tech Support" your very first Hope n' Change cartoon ever published?

http://hopenchangecartoons.blogspot.com/2009/01/tech-support.html

John the Econ said...

I just love when these guys with the private jets fly in to tell poorer people that they've got to sacrifice their much lower standard of living in order to reduce their carbon footprint to save the planet. They then go to hang out with some fellow celebrities, and then jet off to make their next golf match.

And then these guys lament as to why the rest of us don't take them more seriously.

If this doesn't symbolize the insanity of the "climate change" racket, I really don't know what will.

As for the "disappearing glacier", it's been "disappearing" since the end of the last "Little Ice Age" that ended around the beginning of the 18th century.

As for the glacier that Obama visited, it had already retreated roughly 50 miles between it's first modern survey in 1794, and the beginning of this century, or long before the phony "hockey stick" graph said it should have.

So even if one is a disciple of Obama's warming religion, one has to wonder why there's a need for more icebreakers, since to hear him tell it, by the middle of the century the Eskimos will be opening beach resort and casinos along the arctic coast.

And I don't say this to knock the native peoples who live in the region, but of the media's highly biased and confused coverage of "climate change" and it's impact upon local populations. The leftist media's narrative is that these people's "traditional culture and lifestyle" is in jeopardy. We're then treated to video of native outposts with pre-fabricated heated homes and hunting trips on snowmobiles and ATVs, and bemoaning of how expensive a box of Cheerios is in the arctic.

On more immediate threats to our well-being: @Stilton is correct; a massive solar flare, not even as big as the event that took place in 1859 could possibly lay waste to our entire way of life. In 1859, the "high tech" infrastructure affected was limited to telegraphs, which were rendered inoperative for a time. Such an event today could destroy our electrical grid for decades, if not longer. And with the grid down, we'd lack the industrial capacity to restore it in any timely manner. The neo-Malthusians would get to live their dream. But it won't be the nirvana they expect it would be. I seriously doubt there's many people alive today who'd enjoy living in the 1800s, much less survive it.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Boligat- Either that, or they've already got their underground bunkers filled with food, booze, and women chosen for their sexual desirability (per Dr. Strangelove) to facilitate eventual repopulation of the country.

@Geoff King- And isn't it way past time to rename the "White" House?

@Anonymous- The forecast may indeed be "cloudy with a chance of Apocalypse," but there's enough debate about whether the Earth is truly warming that I'm not sure that the Day is upon us yet.

@Mark Pugner- It sure is! If you go back to those earliest posts, you'll see that not every cartoon was political - although the name "Hope n' Change" was selected because we were theoretically entering a brave new world under Obama. It didn't take long for me to transition to pure politics in the strip.

Also, for the longest time I just posted a cartoon with little or no additional comment. It was only later (partially at the behest of Mrs. Jarlsberg) that I got serious about editorializing along with the cartoons. The extra work created by the writing (and I am primarily a writer) is also one of the reasons that the strip is no longer a daily. Well, that and the fact that I've been aging in dog years ever since Barry took office...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- I had to chuckle when, along with the list of other climate change catastrophes, Barry referred to disrupting the traditional activities of "indigenous people." I wish he'd show even a fraction of that concern for the way his policies are disrupting the traditional activities of indignant people in our country.

Also, you mention the hypocrisy of Barry and others flying their private jets all over the world to lecture others on making smaller carbon footprints. It reminds me of Barry's early days in office in which he turned up the heat in the Oval Office so he could be comfortable in shirtsleeves while everyone around him was wearing suits and getting dizzy. David Axelrod conceded "you could grow orchids in there."

And the EMP/Solar Flare threat scares the living hell out of me. If the grid goes down, it will take most of us with it. It would be affordable to harden the grid, and create a lot of jobs. The downside? Well, it would actually protect the United States from a possible disaster...and I'm genuinely not sure Barry wants that.

John the Econ said...

Well, I'd have to admit that if it is indeed Obama's goal to put us at an even footing with Africa, that would do it.

Shelly said...

It's not that he changed the name of a mountain which to some might seem trivial. It's that he thinks the act of Congress establishing that name means nothing to him if he says so. Today a mountain, tomorrow martial law. That being said, I hope Bear Grylls makes him drink his own pee.

Mystery of the Shemitah book said...

Hang on to your hat later on this month...according to the Jewish end of the 'sabbath year', which ends on sept 13 (Elul 29 on jewish calendar), plus a couple of other signs in the heavens, some heavy stuff will probably happen after that date!

Sergio said...

Sung to the tune of "Chain Gang" by Sam Cooke

I hear somethin' sayin'
(Hooh! aah!) (hooh! aah!)
(Doo! Bie!) (Doo! Bie!)
(Well, don't you know)
That's the sound of da boyz smoking on the choom ga-a-ang
That's the sound of da boyz smoking in the choom van
All day long they're smokin'
(Hooh! aah!) (hooh! aah!)
(Roof! Hit!) (Roof! Hit!)
(Well, don't you know)
That's the sound of da boyz rolling on the choom ga-a-ang
That's the sound of da boyz rolling in the choom van
All day long they smoke dat shit
Till the tide be comin’ in
Working on the highways and byways
And wearing, wearing a grin
You hear them moanin' their lives away
Then you hear somebody sa-ay

Alfonso Bedoya said...

Stilton: Don't feel bad; if it weren't for the idiots in Washington, you would be out of work (well, that's not entirely true) and we readers would be bereft of one great column. This is a MUST forward to my friends. I just hope that I don't hear from their lawyers who blame me for their deaths due to their dying laughing! Mount"DENIAL?"
Too funny!

chef621 said...

I am very glad that you "editorialize". It is a great part of work, especially the tongue-in-cheek stuff. I never miss the comments either. I look forward to Fridays and Mondays. Never thought that I would look forward to Mondays!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- Putting us on an equal footing with Africa is exactly what I think Obama would like to do. And per the immigration crisis in Europe, "inaction" is certainly an action...and one with dire consequences. In the absence of American leadership in the world, horrible things rush in to fill the void.

@Shelly- Excellent point. Barry seems to think that he's got an Executive magic wand to wave which makes things happen without process or precedent.

@Mystery of the Shemitah book- "After that date" seems a bit open-ended. Still, I'll keep an eye out for said "heavy stuff." And remember, folks, when it comes to Armageddon, if you see something say something.

@Sergio- By any chance was that recorded by Puff Daddy? (I like it!)

@Alfonso Bedoya- I'd love to be out of this particular line of work (and bonus, I could actually earn a living rather than working gratis on my Quixotic and possibly compulsive quest for truth-telling). Very glad that you and others enjoy it, though. Personally, I get a kick out of columns like today's which are basically a stand-up routine.

@chef621- I look forward to Fridays and Mondays too, because I actually do the work on those columns on Thursdays and Sundays!

Colby Muenster said...

A fantasy I have concerning the effects of no power grid: Imagine watching millions of moon-bats coming to the realization that Whole Foods and Starbucks no longer exist. My oh my, what will they eat?!

Two great reasons to own a gun or two. It can be used to put food on the table, and it can keep the grasshoppers away from MY food supply.

Joking aside, why the flying hell are our "leaders" so apathetic about protecting and bolstering our power grid? I think it's because the problem is not visual enough. Hey, the power's working right now, why worry? Hey, look! It's Kim Kardashian's ass!

John the Econ,

I can't believe you used the words "Obama" and "hockey stick" in the same sentence!

John the Econ said...

@Colby Muenster, the left has never been particularly good at abstract thought unless it involved some sort of right-wing horror fantasy.

In the meantime, I'd expect that should the worst happen, guns and ammo would likely become a far more viable currency that gold. Blue-collar skills would suddenly become far more valuable than white-collar ones, and PhDs in "community organizing" would become even more useless than they are today.

But it certainly would thin out the gene pool.

John the Econ said...

Other topics:

307,000 veterans died awaiting Veterans Affairs health care, report says

Sick, no pun intended. Any illegal alien can walk into any emergency room in the country and immediately get at least basic care. Meanwhile, hundreds-of-thousands of our veterans are literally dying on waiting lists.

If the government can't deal with 300-hundreds-some-odd thousand veterans, what makes any sentient being believe that the government will be able to take care of over 300-million? Don't say you weren't warned.

The Kentucky clerk who refused to process marriage licenses to same-sex couples has been sent to jail.

Obvious commentary aside about the hypocrisy of her 4 marriages, infidelities, and divorces, here's a point I have yet to see posited by any side in this discussion:

If this woman is being jailed for failing to carry out her job by disregarding Federal law, when can we expect the same to happen to the various local officials responsible for willfully ignoring immigration law in the various "sanctuary cities" around the country?

Will the same people now cheering the incarceration of Kim Davis be as happy if and when that happens?

SC said...

@ Stilt, excellent cartoon, as always! The reason no one is doing anything about the threat of an EMP attack is because they haven't figured out how to make money off it yet. "Global Warming" is still the golden goose that keeps laying billions into the hands of Obama supporters.