Monday, September 28, 2015
Yesterday on Meet the Press, Hillary Clinton revealed that when it came time to sort all of her personal emails ("Dear Chelsea, can't talk now because your father is humping the help again") from her vitally important, top secret, "lives hanging in the balance" Secretary of State emails ("Dear Ambassador Stevens, I can't talk to you about Embassy security now because Bill is humping the help again"), she did the only logical thing - hired lawyers to do it for her.
So what if the lawyers didn't have the security clearance to see classified information? According to Hillary, she spent her entire time as Secretary of State without having ever received a single classified document. Which would normally make Hope n' Change ask "then how the hell was she able to do her job?!" But then we look at the state of the world before and after her time in office and realize she wasn't able to do the job.
In what may be a journalistic first, the Meet the Press interviewer actually asked a salient follow-up question, wondering whether emails relating to the work of the Clinton Foundation ("Humping the Help to Fight Aids in Africa") would be categorized by Hillary's lawyers as "work" or "personal?"
Again, not a problem! Not only did the former first lady never have any interesting correspondence with the State Department, she claims she also never communicated with the Clinton Foundation about work-related matters! So apparently, Hillary spent years doing nothing but drinking tiny bottles of taxpayer-funded booze while flying from country to country for no particular reason. No wonder she thought she was under sniper fire when wobbling across the tarmac!
Meanwhile, Bill Clinton is blowing off (so to speak) the many accusations about his wife's highly-suspicious handling of the whole email server affair, saying that the GOP is giving her a "full-scale frontal assault."
Which, we feel compelled to point out, we doubt that Bill has done in a long, long time.