Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Monday's meeting between Barack Obama and Bibi Netanyahu reminded us of the old joke about the tragedy associated with a performance of "Our American Cousin" at Ford's Theater: "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the show?"
Because that was the same kind of wildly dismissive, "ignoring the elephant in the room" remark that B. Hussein made to the press about his summit with Netanyahu. Referring to his preposterous deal which in no way reduces the risk of Iran developing nuclear weapons with which to wipe Israel off the map, the president said "It’s no secret the Prime Minister and I have had a strong disagreement on this narrow issue."
Of course, there are a few other little "narrow" issues where the two leaders don't quite see eye to eye. Like the creation of a Palestinian state within Israel's borders, labeling Israelis as "terrorists" for defending themselves against a recent wave of knife attacks on civilians, and Obama's agreement to help defend Iran in case any other country (we wonder who?) might attack their nuclear enrichment or weapons development facilities.
All of this considered, we're not exactly sure what areas the two leaders do agree on, other than the fact (grudgingly admitted by Obama) that the Holocaust actually occured.
Or "Holocaust One" as it may eventually be known.
BONUS: HANDS UP, DON'T LUBE
Following racial protests which forced the resignation of Missouri University President Tim Wolfe and Chancellor R. Bowen Loftin, both of whom were just dripping with evil, irredeemable white privilege, the University Police are taking bold steps to restore order, get the black members of the football team to suit up again (really), and save the life of a valiant black grad student who went on a hunger strike for almost a week. Which, technically, is more of a diet than hunger strike.
Specifically, the University Police have issued a campus wide call for students to contact them immediately in case they are exposed, or even feel they are exposed, to "hateful or hurtful speech." The police are asking for descriptions, license plate numbers and, if possible, photographs of anyone suspected of saying something which is potentially hurtful.
While hurtful speech has not been specifically defined (indeed, it depends entirely on the "feelings" of the aggrieved party) it presumably will bring a halt to use of the n-word, words beginning with any other offensive eurocentric consonants, and professors giving "hurtful" grades or homework assignments. Tragically, the police crackdown also likely spells the end of "yo mama" jokes on campus, but you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.
These policies, and others like them, are part of a comprehensive effort to increase the diversity of the faculty and staff of Missouri University which, unconscionably, consisted almost entirely of people who were not insane.
LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST...
It's a bit disorienting shifting gears from talking about mendacious politicians and aggrieved collegiate crybabies to trying - trying - to properly honor our nation's veterans on this very special day.
We're writing these words while taking a break between Presidential debates, and are keenly aware that the only reason we have good men and women on that stage talking about our nation's future is because of the great gifts our veterans have given us - the freedom and liberties which they continue to defend every day.
We humbly thank all who have served. You are the best of us.