Monday, January 4, 2016

If You Can't Lick 'Em...

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, islam, stamp, eid, 2016
And there goes our new year's resolution not to use expletives in cartoon punchlines.
Americans who were already feeling a bit nervous about the Islamization of our nation now have yet another official "stamp of approval" to worry about: the Post Office's new 2016 Forever Stamp which honors two Islamic "Eid" festivals.

One of them is Eid al-Adha, which honors the willingness of Ibrahim to slit his son's throat after being "triple dog dared" by Allah. As part of the festival, modern Muslims are expected to sacrifice their best farm animal assuming they have the financial ability to first buy it an orange jumpsuit.

The new stamp is a radiant purple and gold, and features ornate calligraphy that allegedly says "May your EID be blessed," although for all we know it might actually say "Tell the infidels that your bomb is a clock."  Seriously, we'd have more luck trying to read a Jackson Pollock painting.

In fairness to the Post Office, they're actually issuing a lot of stamp designs this year which go beyond honoring Barack Obama's favorite religion.

For instance, there will be a stamp commemorating ice cream (the president's favorite dessert), Shirley Temple (the president's favorite cocktail), and the planet Uranus. About which, the less said the better.

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, islam, stamp, eid, 2016, ISIS
Going postal since the 7th century.

35 comments:

Geoff King said...

Oh yeah! I remember postage stamps. They were quite common in the pre-email era. I haven't purchased one in many years. Since the USPS ran up a 5.5 billion dollar deficit last year, I imagine they will soon go the way of the buggy whip.

George in Houtx said...

!! aww, c'mon, now! there ARE times that a snail-mail letter is nice to send / receive. admittedly, those times are few, but they DO happen. that being said, it seems that the postal service is trying yet again to slide the muslim stamp past us. every year since "jugears" took office. if I want to buy stamps, I'll get some with the U.S.flag.

Geoff King said...

Over at The Right Reasons they are conducting a vote for the best cartoons of 2015. Many of Stilton's finest are included in the list of 180:
http://www.therightreasons.net/index.php?/topic/71176-voting-thread-2015-todays-toons-favorites-preliminary-round/#entry523961

Fred Ciampi said...

Well, stilt, it has been written time and again by the best minds who contribute to this column not to drink coffee whilst reading therein. Let's just say that after today's cartoon I will not be needing my Neti Pot today. 'Nuff said. Oh, and Happy New Year.

Cat Whisperer said...

Thanks to these postage stamps, I will now know which packages to detonate in the backyard instead of opening.

Manfred said...

One of the funniest - and saddest - posts I've read in a long time. Thanks for starting my Monday out right!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Geoff King- I expected the USPS to go out of business, but it now seems that Amazon.com is using them as a hired delivery service. At least until the delivery drones are perfected.

@George in Houtx- I'll admit that I miss getting real letters with real handwriting. Snail mail is pretty much nothing but bills and ads these days. On the positive side, the EID stamp is one of many choices - and we can still buy American flag stamps (the 2016 design is actually pretty nice).

@Geoff King- A lot of fun cartoons over there! I'm proud to be included.

@Fred Ciampi- Sorry about any peripheral damage. It's not actually my goal to make people spew, although I do take it as something of a compliment.

@Cat Whisperer- Excellent point! Maybe I should slap one of these stamps on my IRS returns this year so they'll be afraid to open the envelope...

@Manfred- Glad you enjoyed it!

John the Econ said...

Sigh. It's almost as though they want Trump to be President.

American Cowboy said...

I hope, I really do, that some typical nitwit postal employee sets a sheet or two of these unpatriotic, anti-American, Islamic stamps in front of me next time I need to buy stamps.
They will most certainly hear my opinion.
And it won't be as polite as this Hope and Change edition today is.

Rod said...

HEAR HEAR for American Cowboy. I'm hoping USPS will have to put them on hugely discounted sale, and then maybe with an obsolete old idea for this administration(budget control), the White House will use them up just before the election.

Geoff King said...

In the name of fairness, the Bible also speaks of Abraham being asked by God to kill his son in order to test his faith (Genesis 22). The only dispute with the Muslim version of the story seems to be whether the son was Isaac or Ismael.

Omar al-Tikriti said...

You are a national asset, sir.

Today's edition is wonderful. And mighty hilarious. Keep up the good work. The West, and America in particular, is going down a self-inflicted sinkhole. You might as well laugh about it on the way down; the lefties might begin to doubt themselves a bit.

Well, I'm off to slit some throats. And hurl some phlegm.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- Or it could be that they don't think the next election will matter one way or the other. Which seems increasingly likely.

@American Cowboy- I'm pretty sure that the Post Office will only issue these by request, but I could be wrong. I might buy a block of them just to use for special occasions, like when I want to mail talcum powder to someone (grin).

@Rod- There's something about seeing Islamic calligraphy paired with the words "forever" and "USA" that just chafes my rear end. That being said, the White House probably will be the biggest single customer for these things. Although CAIR may be a close second.

@Geoff King- I'm aware that the story of Abraham/Ibrahim is also in the Old Testament. And I don't mean to offend anyone, but it never really struck me as an incident in which anyone was covered in glory no matter which faith relates it. But at least Christians aren't expected to mark the day with blood sacrifice.

@Omar al-Tikriti- Thanks, I think.

Capn said...

Thanks for the early warning Stilton.
I haven't been to the PO yet and now know to avoid that propaganda tool.
I am a Navy Vet and always buy the US Flag stamps.

In answer to the usps and the obummer administration I say "I WON'T BUY THE FILTHY THINGS."
Perhaps when they have millions of the things plugging up thier storage spaces they will destroy them for us.

I can hardly wait for the day this Socialist/Islamist Robot is no longer in "Our House".

capn

chef621 said...

Today would have been my dad's 102nd birthday. I am happy that he can
not see the condition of the US today....he would just die!

@Omar al-Tikriti, If you have some phlegm to hurl, may I suggest 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, If you wait, someone may come back with his golf clubs. Aim well!!!

Capn said...

their not thier ... silly fingers (nope no spel chech [wink] on this unit)

CenTexTim said...

After hearing about the IED (oops, I mean EID - a natural mistake) stamps I feel the need for 'coffee' - many, many cups of 'coffee'...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Capn- I always get flag stamps, but in a pinch I'd be okay with other choices like Shirley Temple, Star Trek, old pickup trucks, space exploration, or some of the other themes being offered. And if the Islamic stamps don't sell, maybe they can discount them in a few months with an "EIDs of March" sale...

@chef621- I sometimes think about people in my life who I've lost, and take some (admittedly small) comfort in considering the sad events they didn't live to see.

@CenTexTim- EID is a fun word to scramble: it can become IED (improvided explosive device), DIE (self-explanatory), or DEI (meaning God). It can also become IDE, as in "IDE like another cup of "coffee" please..."

Bacon Bits said...

Geoff King, and Stilt- The story of Abraham is one of God testing his faith and how far he would go to obey Him. God stopped Abraham before actually killing his son, and sent him a ram which had its horns caught in a bush. God commanded Abraham to sacrifice the ram and spare his son. In the Holy Bible, the boy was unharmed.

Shelly said...

While the stamp is visually stunning, I cannot in good conscience endorse a religion that commands mistreatment of women, murder of non-believers, beheading, burning alive, etc. Every time I have to take off my shoes to board a plane, I am reminded of how they have changed our beautiful nation. As for the Post Office, the one and only package destined for me this Christmas that was lost was sent by USPS. They claimed it was delivered which was a lie. Sadly, it contained a hand-made gift by my young niece. I only use them as a last resort and hope they go the way of the dinosaurs. I filed a claim online and in my remarks reminded them of why they are being destroyed by UPS/FedEx, et al.

American Cowboy said...

I just had a thought. I believe I will purchase a sheet of these stamps.
Given the size of the stamp each one should make an excellent target at abut 100 yards when it is stuck on a piece of cardboard.
After all, what i do with them after I own them is my business, isn't it?

chef621 said...

@Shelly...I feel your pain. How can you put a price on a home made gift, especially one made by a young person? In my neighborhood (small cul-d-sac) we all know each other and quite often have to re-deliver mail left in our box by mistake. If the carriers did not have so much junk mail to deliver, perhaps they could do a better job. There ought to be a way to opt out of junk mail like there is on phone sales calls.

Fred Ciampi said...

Every time I have to send a parcel by the pony exp.... oops I mean the post office, I always get a tracking number. This shows proof of delivery; time and location.

Geoff King said...

I have had letters take 5 days to get from Phoenix to here in Flagstaff. That's a distance of under 150 miles. The Pony Express used to make that run in around 8 hours or so.

Shelly said...

@Fred Ciampi, I had a tracking number. They misrepresented the delivery of the parcel. It got delivered somewhere else or not at all. @chef621, unfortunately, I live in an apartment community and my mail is delivered to a box. My guess is it was put in the wrong box and the unintended recipient probably just discarded it. The bigger problem is the subsidized monopoly that is the post office which employs people who don't care if their job is done right or not since there is no accountability. Private enterprise does a much better job because there is a bottom line and their employees are accountable. Hopefully, the post office will end up in the proverbial dustbin of history.

NVRick said...

@chef621. When I get junk mail, if it contains a postage paid envelope to respond to an offer, I will sometimes take all the crap in the original envelope (minus anything with my name on it) and stuff it in the return envelope and mail it back. At least the sender gets to pay twice for annoying me.

PRY said...

I think too...Omar al tikriti has as about as much tongue-in-cheek as you, Stilt! 'Nother great strip!

Unknown said...

The EID stamp first came out in 2001....so it is not a new stamp really.
This I know as a retired POSTMASTER.
I used to sell the EID stamps to my customers telling them to use it to mail their bills.
But the bottom line is that hey, there are plenty of stamp choices and not one person will ever be forced to buy the EID stamp
THought: would be great to us the EID stamp if ever mailing something to a LIBERAL!

Rod said...

We live near a U.S. Post Office and it seems our neighborhood is one where they often start the newly-hired block-walkers. Close proximity to PO perhaps mitigates inexperience. We've a recurring string of new carriers; wrong deliveries are a way of life. However the ratio of me taking mail to correct address vs. us being on the receiving end is way off; whatever that means. And one can often tell sharp ones from obvious dumb-shits by the way they work. We get a lot of the latter. It's cold here now; we still have damp ground in the thawing sun, snow/ice on the ground. This morning's carrier was walking across the yards in sandals with socks. She'll earn a great pension in what? About 20 years? IF USPS is still here.

Joseph Hebert said...

Actually, a new person or anyone hired after 1984, will have only social security to look forward to, and at normal SS retirement ages!
No longer do they get Civil Service.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Bacon Bits- Even in the Quran, the boy escaped being slaughtered at the last minute. Same story, but it never attained holiday status in Christian culture.

@Shelly- Sorry about the Post Office problems. I've had a bunch of them myself. They simply don't deliver a good quality service anymore. I sent an urgent parcel with "next day delivery guaranteed" not long ago and it didn't get there for three days. I returned to the post office for a refund, and the manager accused me of trying to scam them for the money despite all my receipts. "You knew we couldn't really deliver it that fast!" I was told. Sheesh.

@American Cowboy- If you'll pardon the pun, that's a First Class idea.

@Chef621- Unfortunately, it's the junk mail that basically keeps the post office open these days.

@Geoff King- Yes, but the ponies weren't unionized.

@NVRick- I've been known to do that myself, especially if the advertiser is someone I dislike.

@PRY- I assume that Omar is a kindred spirit. We're all just having some fun here in the trenches!

@Unknown- You're right that the EID stamps have been around for awhile, so there's no particular significance to the 2016 redesign. But that being said, I'm just not feeling very charitable about Islam lately. Everyone has a right to believe as they choose in our country, no question - I'm just weary of feeling like I'm having my nose rubbed in Islam by this administration.

And I probably will pick up some of these stamps for some playful use I haven't thought of yet.

@Rod- We used to have a lot of problems with our carriers here at home, but we've been lucky enough to have a good one for a few years now. It makes a difference.

@Joseph Hebert- Interesting! I hadn't known that.

Joseph ET said...

Getting too much third class mail?
Here’s what to do. Save the business reply envelope and find the paper that has your name on it. With a red sharpie write “no thanks” on it and place it in the business reply envelope and mail it. The Postal Service charges the business about $2.70 for each one. Do this every time and soon you will notice the amount of unwanted mail going down each month as these business start removing you from their list and the list they sale to others. A bonus is that the Postal Service makes money.

If you go in to purchase stamps and are offered by these objectionable stamps, just ask for something else. It’s NOT justified to be mean to a clerk for doing what the Supervisor requires. Maybe it would do more good to write a letter to the Postmaster and to Congress.
Your mail is sorted down to the Letter Carrier’s delivery sequence from the sorting center. This allows more street time and longer routes as the Carrier doesn’t do their own sorting anymore. Sometimes a letter gets mis-sorted and is in the middle of someone’s bundle and is not seen by the carrier.

Ever wonder how mail is sorted?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Joseph ET- Good advice about discouraging junk mail, and I also applaud the notion of not being mean or rude to clerks or letter carriers for things they can't control.

Omar al-Tikriti said...

@Chef621

Would you honestly be able to tell the difference between phlegm and the current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave???

I think not. Anyway, we are quite convinced that "he" gags on phlegm related activities too much to notice any additional phlegm being hurled his way.

That turns me on so much - Where is my goat?!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Omar al-Tikriti- You're right; in many ways Barry is the "spitting image" of his America-hating parents.