Monday, February 8, 2016

Gyne Illogical

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, albright, clinton, special place in hell 
Following Hillary Clinton's discovery in Iowa that she is less popular among young females than a yeast infection, the former first lady is pulling out all the stops in New Hampshire to try to upset what is expected to be a runaway win in the bimbo demographic for doddering socialist Bernie "Sugar Grandaddy" Sanders.

To that end, Hillary asked herself what vivacious, high-powered celebrity superstar could help her reel in those youthful female votes, and she came up with...Madeleine Albright. The 78-year old Secretary of State under Bill Clinton (although we don't know how often), who helped negotiate an Iran-style deal with the North Koreans which gave them billions of dollars in aid to keep them from ever building the kind of nuclear weapons they tested last month, or ever developing an intercontinental ballistic missile of the type they launched Saturday.

The same Saturday, coincidentally, that Albright growled to an uncomfortable-looking crowd that young women are obligated to vote not with their minds but with their naughty bits - "because there's a special place in Hell for women who don't help each other!"

Which we suppose is a catchy phrase when it comes to threatening simple-minded millenial females, but one which skews too negative. Instead, Hope n' Change thinks the Hillary camp should sell the same message with a more positive tone, perhaps calling for "Affirmative Tampaxion," "Power to the Peehole," or simply referring to Mrs. Clinton as "The Vagina Demagogue."


obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, new hampshire, primary, debate, gop, trump 

Saturday also saw the final GOP debate before the New Hampshire primary, and overall it was a pretty good show. Nobody flat out embarrassed themselves, although up-and-comer Marco Rubio got nailed by Chris Christie for too frequently falling back on robotically memorized talking points, which he tried to rebut using robotically memorized talking points.

Soft spoken Ben Carson again won the sash and tiara for Congeniality, and the governors onstage (Bush, Christie, and Kasich) all made fairly compelling arguments that nobody who hasn't been a governor actually knows how to do any damn thing.

Ted Cruz apologized yet again for the mixup in which his campaign team inadvertently told Iowa caucus-goers that Ben Carson (beloved founder of the music group Earth, Wind and Fire) had suddenly died, and Donald Trump announced that in dealing with terrorists he plans to do things "a lot worse than waterboarding" which, frankly, we think deserved either a followup question or, if his political aspirations go south, a new reality show.


Mike aka Proof said...

I guess Democrat women who don't want to go to Hell can always write in Carly Fiorina!

Jan Blickenstaff said...

Hillary says, I have a vagina and it deserves to be president.

Jim Irre said...

"I have a phone, a pen, and and a vagina! And I'll use at least two of them! But only if my private server crashes!"

The only problem I see with Madeline's threat is that most millenials are Godless heathens. Or maybe she meant the hell they'll suffer under a Republican administration when they might have a better chance of finding a job and living on their own.

REM1875 said...

Is there a special place in hell for the woman who turned North Korea into an atomic power cause her demonrat lady parts were titalated by the Nork megalomaniac?

TrickyRicky said...

Sorry, too happy this morning about the victory by the Broncos' defense to get agitated by these snarly, dried-up old pudenda peddlers. Wahoo!

Geoff King said...

Interesting that the dimmercrats can no longer find anyone capable of coherent speech that wasn't born before electricity.
Just a thought: perhaps that "special place in hell" is as one of Øbama's 72 virgins.

Judi King said...

If there's a hell, then there's a heaven. If this hag thinks supporting Hillary will earn anyone a place there, then she's in for a big surprise.

Berferd said...

There is a nice Dave Berry flavor to today's composition.
I would guess that the perceived attraction of Mad align Halfbright to the young ladies would have two components; They don't know what she did, as mentioned, and the MSM will laud her and can be relied on to avoid filling in those blanks.

Jim G. said...

Who is "mas macho"....Mad or Hil?

Only one man can answer that question....Bill.

Judi King said...

BTW the PAID Carson campaign workers that left his camp VOLUNTEERED for the Cruz camp. There's more to this story than what was reported.

CenTexTim said...

I'm with TrickyRicky. We need fewer debates and more Super Bowls.

Rod said...

I'd like to hear more about who thinks Obama is a stupid inept fool; and who thinks he's a brilliant skilled traitor. The first case just needs to be neutralized this last year and not happen again. Real & punitive action may in order for the second case. And "Senator" on a bio means little they've done something good.

Rod said...

Oops. "unless" goes in that last line but you got that.

John the Econ said...

In order to win, Hillary has to attract the coalition that elected Obama twice. That's not very likely. And it's not a big mystery why young voters aren't drawn to Hillary. She's hardly inspirational.

And her message is very contradictory. On one hand, she's been in a bidding war with "Sugar Grandaddy Sanders", but at the very same time she turns strangely pragmatic:

"I am not going to make promises I can’t keep. I am not going to talk about big ideas like single-payer and then not level with people about how much it will cost..."

Seriously? So she's more of a "Progressive" than Bernie is, but isn't going to fully husband the Progressive agenda? Even the mush-for-brains lofos smell this one out.

As for Madeleine Not-all-bright: Strange time for her to be popping out, considering what her long-term track record is. This is the woman who once rationalized that "We can't go after Bin Laden because we can't risk the possibility of retribution."

One of the famous traits of the Clinton era was the collective amnesia everyone seemed to or was supposed to have. Whenever anyone associated with the Clinton Administration did or said something stupid or just outright lied, we were supposed to totally forget about it 24 hours later. That might have been possible in the pre-Internet age with a pliant leftist media. It's a lot harder to pull that off in an age where your every statement from the past is hyperlinked into the present.

Also, today I think that most women are a bit more sophisticated than the stereotypical feminist sympathizers of the past. "Vote for me because I have a vagina" alone isn't going to cut it, especially when we've got the hyperlinks to all the vaginas that Hillary didn't care about trashing. As I've mentioned here many times before, the traditional feminist alphabets blew their wad with the Clintons 18 years ago and never got their mojo back.

Cookie said...

Seriously? Madeline Albright? Now there's someone that "younger" women can adore and look up to, right? Holy cow, she's from right out of the stone age isn't she? If Hillz wants to get young women's votes, she better find a much, much, much, much younger spokeswoman for her. Maybe one of those young abortion doctors who have no regard for life to attract the "godless heathens" that Jim Irre spoke of. There's the ticket!

John the Econ said...

Okay, just came across this:

“When you’re young, you’re thinking, ‘Where are the boys? The boys are with Bernie,'” Steinem told Bill Maher Friday night on the comic’s HBO show “Real Time.”

That's right! Feminist icon Gloria Steinem thinks so little of women that she believes that they're only abandoning Hillary for Bernie because that's where the pajama boys are.

Now to be honest, when I was in school I was of the opinion that it was guys who favored liberal causes only because that's where the easy liberal chicks could be found. But that was a much different time, and it's my understanding that today, pajama boys aren't all that great a catch, much less are viewed attractive by the modern female.

But this is a great example of the contempt that prominent leftists have for their supposed followers. Steinem is basically saying "Since they haven't come to the same conclusion I have, it must be because of their hormones." Now if I had said something like this, it would immediately be credited to the great white "War on Women". But among the real culture warriors, it's just common sense.

John the Econ said...

..and then, this:

Bill Clinton rips Sanders backers' 'sexist,' 'profane' attacks

It's bad enough when feminist icons accuse their fellow women of supporting an opposing candidate just because of their mating urges. But then to get lectured by America's Misogynist-in-Chief on "sexism" is just too much.

Are the Clintons now so disconnected from reality that they think these kinds of attacks will work? We know from the past that the Clintons are capable of saying practically anything with a straight face. But hopefully what's changed is America's tolerance for it.

Rod said...

Madeline got both herself and Hillary in deep do-doo with my wife. Hillary wasn't going to get her vote anyway; but you just don't TELL my wife she's going to Hell if she doesn't vote a certain way. It probably didn't calm things that I explained it only apples to women; men got a pass. [grin]

Skeptical Voter said...

You are a bad bad boy for using that picture or drawing of Madeline Albright. It scared my little dog.

Geoff King said...

@Stilton: I must say that one of the things I love most about this blog is your witty responses to our posts. I hope that the recent lack thereof is a temporary hiatus and not the new norm.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- I was thinking the same thing: if the matchup was Bernie vs Fiorina, would women still have to vote for Carly?

@Jan Blickenstaff- I'm trying really hard not to make an Oval Orifice joke...

@Jim Irre- Good point: a lot of young Dems would consider it to be hellish living in a world where they have to go to work and take responsibility for their spending and their actions.

@REM1875- Madeleine Albright's big claim to fame is that she was the first woman to become Secretary of State. The problem: she stunk at it. She is "exhibit A" why it's a mistake to consider gender as qualification for high office.

@TrickyRicky- I don't think the phrase "pudenda peddlers" is used nearly as often as it should be.

@Geoff King- I'm not sure that Barry's 72 virgins would lose "virgin" status even given an eternity of waiting.

@Judi King- Albright can never get into Heaven because those huge broaches she wears wouldn't get past St. Peter's metal detectors.

@Berferd- I really can't imagine Madeleine swaying the hearts, minds, or votes of many young women. She's a not particularly well-preserved bit of history, and millenials have no interest in history.

@Jim G- And I don't even want to know how Bill would make that decision.

@Judi King- Interesting.

@CenTexTim- Considering the nature of halftime shows these days, I'm going to have to disagree about needing more Superbowls.

@Rod- Count me in the camp that says Obama is not stupid and not a failure, but rather borders on brilliance in the manner in which he's instituted policies with the deliberate goal of damaging our country. People who think he's simply inept are dangerously blind.

@John the Econ- Hillary really has nothing to offer young women: they already live in a time and culture in which they're guaranteed equal pay (figures to the contrary are contrived), equality in the work force, and sexual freedom extending to the point of being able to hire contract killers to deal with unwanted fetuses. So instead, Hillary is trying to sell the lie that the GOP is desperately hoping to strip away all the rights from women and minorities. That's a hard line to sell, even with the media doing their best to help.

And the old guard feminist movement DID blow their credibility (so to speak) in the Clinton years. They went from saying that any sexual activity - even fully consensual - between a woman and a man who had greater "power" was sexual abuse, to declaring that it was actually "sexual empowerment" which allowed women to climb the ranks one BJ at a time.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Cookie- You're right. Hillary should enlist a female celebrity who is younger and more vivacious than Madeleine Albright. I'm thinking Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

@John the Econ- Steinem is essentially saying that young women's minds are being overruled by their vaginas when going to Sander's events, when they should have their minds overruled by their vaginas to support a candidate who, according to pap smear records I wish had never been released to the public, has a vagina.

But if women should only vote for women, then man should presumably only vote for men. Blacks should only vote for blacks. LGBT folks should only vote for a candidate who has exactly the same gender identification. At which point, nobody is really making a meaningful vote at all: we're simply tallying demographics.

And the hypocrisy of Bill "Smell My Finger" Clinton lecturing the rest of us on sexism is simply unacceptable.

@Rod- I've got a female friend who is a Bernie supporter, and she was outraged by hearing that she was hellbound for not supporting Hillary.

@Skeptical Voter- It's true...dogs can actually sense ugly.

@Geoff King- Never use the word "norm" when describing me (grin). No, there's been no policy change here - just a few recent instances in which life has kept me away from the keyboard more than I'd wish. Nothing big going on, either - just day to day stuff. For instance, yesterday I spent another hour on the phone trying to straighten out my daughter's Obamacare policy (I failed, but got the problem "upgraded" to a strata where someone might actually have the authority to do something about it).

Today, I may spend a similar amount of time - or more - trying to talk to to straighten out my OWN health insurance policy. Gosh, the hours just fly by!

Sortahwitte said...

Stilton, I believe there is a special place in disneyworld for those who bring up the name and vision of RBG (you know who I mean). I've been pouring clorox in one ear and out the other and the ghost of ugly, past present and future is still there. Thanks bunches.

John the Econ said...

@Stilton, right on about Hillary having nothing to offer young women today. In fact, I think that to them Hillary is nearly as repellent to them as she was to us a quarter century ago. Like so much of the old liberal establishment, Hillary and the old guard feminist movement is stuck in a time warp where it was enough to be "just like them", even if that only meant lacking a Y chromosome. It's going to take more than just being pro-abortion to motivate women to vote for these aging hags.

In the early '90s, Bill Clinton was bouyed simply by the fact that he was the first viable "boomer" candidate. He was affable, sufficiently liberal and had triangulation down to a science. And the left's love for him was enough to override all of his obvious shortcomings.

In the reality distortion bubble that the Clintons have obviously been in for the last 16 years, they still think the outside world sees them as it did in 1992. But the world has radically changed, as as you pointed out, so has womanhood. Post-boomers have little reason to love Clintons like the boomers did. Most millennial women probably aren't familiar with the details of all the shenanigans the Clintons were involved with, (S&L crisis, Rose Law, Whitewater, Travelgate, Cattle Futures, etc, etc, etc) but they do know about Monica, the blue dress, and how Hillary not only just stood by her man, but when on the attack against Monica and the others for purely political reason while being most publicly humiliated by Bill. That's hardly what they see as being good for womanhood. And, of course there's Hillary's current ethical stench that turns off any free-thinking individual, woman or otherwise. Bernie's main appeal isn't just that he's a socialist, but that he's not a transparent crook.

And here's another thought: Perhaps people are getting over "identity politics", which has reached it's epoch over the Obama era. People were supposed to vote for Obama because he was black. People are supposed to vote for Hillary because she's a women. Are black Americans any better off today than they were pre-Obama? To hear the BLdM movement tell it, they clearly are not. Then young women hear Madeleine Albright, (someone they don't even care about even if they know who she was) condemn them to hell for not supporting Hillary? Oh year, that's a good strategy to win them over! Sheesh. The millennials have been charactertured as not being particularly bright, and to some degree for many this may be the case. But they're smarter than this; they want a better reason to support someone than because they're a woman, or because some has-been hag says they're going to hell if they don't. Even for the brain-dead, Bernie is willing to give them free stuff without directly insulting them like this.

Last decade, Mrs. Econ went back to school to add-on a degree. This allowed her prolonged exposure to the "millennials" in the academic environment. One of her most fascinating observations was how most of these kids couldn't care less about "identity politics". For the most part, sex & race issues was not a concern to them. Of course, there are always the activist-types pushing it, but they were a small minority. Most were there for an education for a better job and a better life, and wrote off the activism as distracting noise.

Perhaps this is the big lesson of the success of Trump & Sanders: While the establishment candidates continue to follow their carefully crafted, consultant derived scripts designed to appeal to narrow demographics while trying not to offend any other, Trump & Sanders try to appeal to Americans as a whole, regardless of their sex or race. I can only hope so.