Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Old Dog, New Hampshire

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, new hampshire, clinton, sanders, sexism
Hoping (unsuccessfully) to minimize Bernie Sanders' landslide win over Hillary in the New Hampshire primary, former president and occasional rapist Bill Clinton recently went on the attack to accuse the Bernie Sanders campaign of sexism. No, really.

Apparently unaware that he was dressed as a lesbian, the withered and rasping Clinton evinced horror at the notion that women - a sex which he respects almost as much as a good cigar - were being berated online for their support of Hillary. According to Bill, the women have been subjected to "vicious trolling" by Bernie's supporters and "attacks that are literally too profane, not to mention sexist, to repeat."

We therefore assume that Hillary's supporters weren't called liars, bimbos, national security risks, stalkers, or trailer park trash, because those are all acceptable terms of endearment that Bill and Hillary have previously used to describe gyno-Americans who found themselves on the wrong side of Mrs. Clinton's political ambitions. So Bernie's people must have been writing some really vile stuff - perhaps with a dash of Yiddish added, just for color.

Still, Hope n' Change must admit a bit of confusion about the whole concept of "vicious trolling" as a form of sexist abuse of women. Are we to infer that in a Hillary Clinton administration, snarky tweets would be outlawed? That when it comes to political disagreement "you can not have textual relations with that woman?" That rhetoric will be dealt with more seriously than rape? And is Hillary "I'm running on my privates, not my private server" Clinton really the best person to make decisions about national email policy?

Frankly, the Clintons only value is to those who suffer from an irony deficiency in their political diets. And we can't wait (though may have to) to see them finally get off the national stage for the last time.

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, sanders, vicious trolling, trololo
You probably don't want to click this link...


Squidball said...

You missed Hillary's victory speech afterward in NH. She sure sounded like she had won and had more work to do to keep on winning. The woman has no shame or humility but Bill has plenty for both of them in his humble, low-key approach to campaigning for Hillary and also her possible indictment. After all, he has much to gain either way it goes. If victorious he gets back in the White House where he can sample the interns again. If Hil goes to prison he gets to rut around the countryside without supervision.

Geoff King said...

Despite wearing his (no doubt) custom-tailored lumberjack shirt to appear manly and down home, Billy boy appeared emaciated and suffering from the shakes. As his wife's health, especially mental, is also in question, their time before leaving this plane of existence for a very special place in Hell may be drawing short.
Not to worry though, I'm sure we can look forward to Chelsea Clinton vs. George P Bush in 2020.

Rod said...

Well, I clicked the link. And I watched the whole thing. It brought back memories of some down-time and background music "over there". Where do you find this stuff? And do you take a vitamin for wit?

Sarah Rolph said...

This should brighten your day:

Fritzchen said...

Too "profane" to repeat? Hillary is suffering from secular attacks? The horror! The Horror!

CenTexTim said...

"attacks that are literally too profane, not to mention sexist, to repeat"

Reminds me of the quote from Animal House:

"acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here"

One of your best, Stilt. Well done.

Unknown said...

I klikked the link and got a Russkie Mr. Bean on steroids!!😎. Whadda hoot! I presume the message is "same old, same old" repeated ad nauseum??

John the Econ said...

Straight faced lectures from Bill Clinton on sexism. Seriously? (Truth be told, I think this is the first lie I've ever seen where Clinton actually couldn't quite keep a straight face) Is this all the Clinton campaign has left? Quite frankly, if Hillary was smart she'd call Jeffrey Epstein to come and pick him up to be flown out of New Hampshire to his orgy island where he can neither be seen nor heard.

"Are we to infer that in a Hillary Clinton administration, snarky tweets would be outlawed?"

We already know what Hillary thinks about "free speech" judging from her response to the Benghazi fiasco. As part of their effort to deny the reality of a organized Islamic attack on the eve of Obama's re-election, she perpetrated the fraud that instead of tactical indifference or just sheer incompetence, the real problem was some obscure YouTube video that nobody had ever seen or heard of before. Ironically, the federal government dispatched more firepower to arrest the video maker than it did in response to the attack at the compound in Benghazi.

This fact alone should tell you everything you need to know about a Hillary-led administration; She will not hesitate or think twice about dispatching the police forces of the Federal government against citizens if it serves her personal or political interests. If this doesn't scare you, then nothing should. She makes Richard Nixon look like a saint.

Judi King said...

Most of the people in DC make Nixon look like a saint.

Anonymous said...

At his age, Bill Clinton must have weekly Viagra deliveries!

4sleiborg said...

Bill Clinton was a dirty old man before he was old, and now he's old.
He used to be younger than I am, but now he's older than I am.

Shelly said...

Before Bern and his supporters get too worked up over this win, they should know that Hillary earned more delegates than he did yesterday. You heard me. The machinations of the DNC and their super delegates all but assures a Hillary win and she knows this. If you don't know what super delegates are, they are connected insiders who are given such political power without any input from actual voters and can thus be manipulated any way the party wants.

I know we all joke about the horn dog, BJ, but by the looks of him, I would say his rutting days are all but over. Bear in mind, he is relatively the same age as Trump, Romney and GW Bush but he is looking more and more like a feeble elderly man. Even septuagenarian Bernie looks more energetic. Maybe his past is catching up to him finally.

Judi King said...

Yeah, Shelly. He looks like his degenerate life is finally catching up to him. One can only hope.

NVRick said...

Re: the video. Bernie in Russia during his honeymoon?

Popular Front said...

Damn. CenTexTim beat me to it with Niedermeyer's speech. Clinton's woolly shirt however would not be out of place in 'The Lumberjack Song'.

Charlie Mitchell said...

He's got the plaid shirt, so where's his pickup truck with the dogs in the back?

John the Econ said...

Speaking of "...that in a Hillary Clinton administration, snarky tweets would be outlawed", what do you all think of this?

Twitter vs ISIS: Social network suspends 125,000 accounts over terror activity

"Twitter has suspended thousands of alleged terrorists’ accounts and is using spam-fighting software to seek out accounts that might be threatening or promoting activity related to or inspired by the Islamic State, the company announced. The move comes as the US government has increased calls for social media companies to do more to respond to abusive behavior online."

There's no question that ISIS has mastered the use of social media for disseminating it's message, it's successes, and for recruitment. And there's also no question that censoring social media platforms would certainly hinder ISIS's ability to operate as it has been. And the announcement that Twitter and Facebook are going to do so has met near universal acclaim.

But my spidey sense is tingling. It's been long established that "the establishment" considers gun-owning constitutionalists a bigger threat than ISIS. And barely a week ago, Facebook banned conversations regarding the private sales of guns.

Recall the unintendedly public conversation Angela Merkel had with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg regarding censoring comments that are unfavorable to Germany's importation of millions of refugee Muslims? (Note: Any conversation not overwhelmingly glowing of state policy is officially considered "racist and xenophobic". Zuckerberg assured Merkel that they're working on it)

As important as social media may be to ISIS, could it be ever more important to maintaining a free and open society? Considering the self-censorship that is currently taking place in the European mainstream media regarding the very real consequences of Europe's now-open borders, social media is one of the only ways that people are actually hearing about what's actually happening, and keeping the mainstream media somewhat honest.

Have we just accelerated the slide down the slippery slope here?

Randall said...

Always making me laugh. Keep up the good work. Posted with link at RandallsBPU Facebook page.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Squidball- I agree that whatever federal institution Hillary ends up in, it'll be a win for Bill.

@Geoff King- Bill really does look sickly these days, though I think it's probably just coincidence that his aging process gives the appearance of galloping untreatable syphilis. I'm not at all sure that Hillary is in good health, either. But you're right that Chelsea will probably be around for a long time to annoy us.

@Rod- I love Trololo guy, and am glad that he had (and enjoyed) a burst of popularity before his death a year or two ago. In a weird way, he brought a lot of happiness into the world. Which, I suppose, I wouldn't mind for an epitaph either.

@Sarah Rolph- It DOES brighten my day. I so want to see all of Bill's victims come out of the shadows. The idea that this rapist and his criminally-enabling wife are out on the stump claiming to care about women's rights sickens me.

@Fritz Brohn- Apparently any criticism of Hillary is heresy.

@CenTexTim- I think decorum is overrated, and spoils many a juicy anecdote.

@Unknown- While I just enjoy the Trololo guy, it really is possible to look at that video and find it to be a political metaphor for Hillary (and Bernie, for that matter): a Russian putting on a happy face and literally singing nonsense lyrics to keep the people happy - or at least distracted - with what little the government is willing to give them (in this case on television).

@John the Econ- I have no doubt that Hillary would happily suspend our 1st Amendment rights of free speech. Ideologies such as hers can't really flourish if public commentary isn't suppressed.

@Judi King- Nixon actually got a pretty bad rap. He accomplished a lot, and I don't think his hands were any dirtier than most presidents.

@Anonymous- I actually picture Bill hooked to a blue Viagra IV bottle anytime he's not on stage.

@Pete Madsen- As the saying goes, it's not the years - it's the mileage.

@Shelly- There's no doubt that the DNC has the cards stacked in Hillary's favor. I'm actually enjoying watching the outrage my Bernie-supporting friends are feeling over fraud, cheating, and sleazy practices practiced by the Democrats. Suddenly voter ID doesn't seem like such a bad idea, huh?

@Judi King- Bill DOES look bad. But every time I see his finger shaking, I can't help but imagine him leering at a young woman and saying "it works like a vibrator..."

@NVRick- I'd like to think so.

@Popular Front- I always wonder what the reasoning is behind the choice of clothing for an appearance. Everything about the Clintons is orchestrated. Was the plaid shirt meant to make them look like something other than multi-millionaires who are funded by Wall Street? Or were the bright colors meant to distract us from Bill's bloodless appearance?

@Charlie Mitchell- I think Bill has always favored pickup lines rather than pickup trucks.

@Randall- Thank you!

Popular Front said...

@Stilton - Bill does look rather ill doesn't he? I'm a lot older than him and without tooting my own horn too loud I look a hell of a lot more healthy. Well, let's hope it's nothing trivial.