Monday, February 29, 2016
Despite Uncle Joe's confusion and the ruined shoes of his Secret Service detail, this is actually a leap year in which we have an extra day of Black History Month.
But sadly, what should have been a bonus day of national celebration and reflection was tainted by an ugly incident...
After having her show pre-empted two weeks in a row for somethng inconsequential called "election coverage," MSNBC hostess and tampon fashion model Melissa Harris-Perry walked off her own show and described her mistreatment entirely in racial terms. Which she backed down from shortly after a presumed conversation with MSNBC's evil, moustache-twirling, whip-wielding legal department.
After a short cooling off period, Ms. Harris-Perry and MSNBC were able to arrive at a new business arrangement based on the network's appreciation of her unique talents and contributions. Specifically, she has agreed to never again try to enter their studios, in return for which MSNBC won't release attack dogs on her or blast her with a fire hose.
But unlike the eternally racially-aggrieved Ms. Harris-Perry, we have no desire to dwell on the past. Not when our immediate future holds...
Yes, tomorrow is Super Tuesday - a day when millions of voters will go to the polls to avail themselves of the precious right to make their voices heard on matters which they haven't been paying any attention to.
Frankly, we think they just want to get the free "I Voted" stickers, which is why we think in future years a concerted effort should be made to give away shiny "Good Job! You're Special!" gold stars in return for staying home.
In any event, it's currently predicted that the Super-Tuesday primary results will be very, very good for Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and whichever liquor store is closest to Hope n' Change.