Friday, March 18, 2016

Secretary of Mistake

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, isis, genocide, kerry, hillary

After much diplomatic hemming and hawing, Secretary of State John Kerry finally admitted that when ISIS beheads, burns, drowns, crushes, stones, and blows up people singled out solely because of their just might kinda sorta be genocide-ish.

What he did not say, owing to the fact that he isn't suicidal, is that Hillary Clinton's totally failed tenure as Secretary of State pretty much laid waste to the Middle East and softened up the region for the nightmarish growth of ISIS.

Rather than blame his predecessor, Kerry made a point of saying that while the determination of genocide is very serious, it won't have immediate policy repercussions because (brace yourself) it's going to be so difficult to bring the genocidal throat-slashing maniacs to court to be tried - no doubt with American taxpayers paying their legal defense bills.

Frankly, Hope n' Change is thinking that the proper response to genocide should involve a bit less habeas corpus and a lot more hellfire missiles.

And we've got a pretty good idea about who might agree with us...


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Monday's GOP debate - which promised to be a fascinating event with so few people onstage - has been cancelled after Donald Trump claimed to have a very important previous engagement (which, it turns out, he had plenty of wiggle room to reschedule).

Trump will be speaking to AIPAC (the American Israel Public Affairs Committee) to explain for the umpteenth time that his love of Israel is unparalleled and incontestible because he once led the Israeli Day Parade in New York. No, really - that's the first thing out of his mouth at every debate!

He also says the fact that he gives buckets of money to Israel proves he loves them, which would be a lot more impressive if he didn't also give buckets of money to virtually every major Democratic candidate and cause, then blow it off by saying that it doesn't mean anything because "I'm a businessman - I give to everybody. It doesn't mean I like them." Oh.

Perhaps The Donald has tired of doing debates because, even if Eskimos have 32 different words for "snow," there are only so many ways of just repeating "I'm going to make such wonderful deals" before it starts sounding like a snow job.

Hope n' Change regrets not getting to hear another substantive debate. But then again, maybe we wouldn't have been able to hear it over the sound of protesters anyway. Which is why we might need...


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Okay, before anyone panics, THIS IS A JOKE, OKAY?! We are not proposing that those blocking the streets in the upcoming "biggest demonstrations of the century" get ground into pulp, Fargo-style, and sprayed into the air. Oh sure, it would make for hilarious TV but, in the words of Richard Nixon, "it would be wrong - that's for sure."

This is also not a slam on Donald Trump, who is NOT advocating riots if the GOP attempts some funny business to take candidate selection out of the hands of the voters.

Rather, this is just a playful little fantasy about how we feel when considering all of the fake pay-to-play protesters who may soon be clogging our streets, breaking windows, setting fires, looting, and committing acts of violence against civilians and the police.

"Democracy Spring," a consortium of George Soros-funded troublemakers and other miscreants, essentially wants to shut the country down rather than let anyone hear what Donald Trump has to say. But why?

Unions are expected to take part in the demonstrations. But their motivation is unclear - Trump intends to bring manufacturing jobs back to America and staunch the flow of illegals who threaten the wages and employment of union members.

Black Lives Matter
will be well represented - apparently protesting because Trump has voiced interest in reforming the education system for the benefit of black kids and familes, quite likely with the help of Ben Carson. And if black kids can get ahead, well, there goes the powerbase of those who are eternally racially aggrieved.

Occupy Wall Street wants to oppose Trump despite his stated intention of getting the influence of big money out of government - just like Hillary and Bernie claim to want.

MoveOn.Org plans to protest because they don't want to move on from the nightmarish policies of the last administration. Moreover, for anyone too young to know, "MoveOn" is actually short for "Move On from Bill Clinton Lying Under Oath" and "Move On from Bill Clinton Sexually Abusing Women." The organization's sole reason for existence has always been to support the political aspirations of Bill and Hillary, and it contains more Clinton DNA than Chelsea does.

College Students will be protesting Trump because he's threatening to energize the economy to such a degree that recent graduates will no longer have excuses for not getting full-time jobs...and seriously, how much of a buzzkill is a 40-hour week and a dress code?!

And finally, Code Pink will be disrupting as many activities as possible because, well, let's just say they need to raise hell with SOMEone every 28 days or so for reasons we'd rather not go into.

It's going to be a long, weird summer.


Joseph ET said...

The Democrats including Harry Reed hate Trump, the GOP leadership, most of our foreign enemies and the long list of Trump haters that Stilon made. In reviewing the long list of haters, it kind of makes it difficult not to like Trump. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. (originated in the 4th century B.C. in India)

REM1875 said...

The enemy is on the left. Just a friendly reminder.
I will pull the lever for trump if he is the party's choice (with no tricks by the gop-e) I mean I voted for romney and Palin (still can't say I voted for mcrino, I just can't)
I am old enough to remember the co-president during the reign of slick willie the wurst and fear her more than "free" medical care. For those who think things can not be worse than under oblamer, I got news for ya, You ain't seen nothing yet.
Odd code pink is ok with wars run by demonRats but not under republicans? Where have all the pictures of the flag covered coffins been the last 7 plus years? Where are the huge media sponsored.....ahh.. I mean covered war protest? Where is cindy sheehan protesting prezzy zero's wars? One would almost think our media has an anti Republican bias if one did not know better.

Wahoo said...

And those who doubt that's how Hillary rolls need a refresher course in what happened to Vince Foster, Ron Brown, Ed Willey, and scores of other "friends" of the Clintons.

Judi King said...

I hope your finger is improving. Drumpf is NOT advocating riots????? He planted the seed and that's all is takes for his sheeple to bring it to fruition. Typical manipulative tactic. As for his NOT attending the debate, he knows he can't beat Cruz in a real substantive debate. So, his sheeple will continue to believe his excuses and excuse this behavior. I don't believe in NOT voting but I can't, with a clear conscience, vote for either of the projected front runners. It'll be some other alternative. If I didn't vote, I don't feel I'd have the right to complain about the decline of my country.

Ed G. Mann Ps.D said...

Actually Grater Expectations is an excellent idea. Manifold uses including clearing a path for the triumphal entry of the presumptive nominée, disposal of trash and with the addition of hi-pressure hoses, sanitary cleaning of the streets.

What's not to like?

Geoff King said...

Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again!
Seriously, I expect the Libertarian candidate to gain an amazingly high number of votes this time around due to public contempt for the other choices. Enough to win? No, but possibly enough to scare the Republicans back towards a more Constitutional approach to government.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Joseph ET- I think of that phrase often, and it does come into play here. One of the MANY reasons I detest the protesters is I don't want them to force me into joining the battlements on Trump's side...but I will. Whatever Trump might do in office, it would be better than the anarchy these street thugs (and their political and economic supporters) want.

@REM1875- If only because of Supreme Court nominees, I will vote for anyone other than a Democrat for president...including Trump. I believe that under Hillary, things would get worse. Under Trump, they might get worse. Even slim pickings are better than none.

@Wahoo- As I recall, Vince Foster walked to the middle of a park without managing to get grass or moisture on the bottoms of his shoes, then blew his brains out with a gun that wasn't his. When authorities checked his belongings, they found an empty valise which, days later, suddenly wasn't empty anymore. It had a typed suicide note, somehow torn into multiple pieces without leaving fingerprints. Foster's White House office was sealed with crime scene tape - but Hillary sent her people in anyway to retrieve boxes of records which have never been made public.

Ron Brown was getting ready to roll on the Clintons owing to high level shenanigans. But he never got a chance to make a plea deal. The plane he was on crashed on a mountaintop after radio beacons on the ground had their signals altered. Still, the crash seemed like it might have been survivable if not for the neat little bullet hole in the top of Brown's head. Brown's body then made it into the Guiness Book of World Records for "shortest time between death and cremation."

It's really not safe to be too close to the Clintons.

@Judi King- I still don't think Trump's statement was intended to incite riots, although it certainly was intended to throw a scare into the GOP power brokers. Regarding who you'll vote for, just remember that there are a lot of old Supreme Court justices who'll need replacing. Even if Trump is godawful in office, his court nominees would at least be screened and approved by others - and maybe help us rebalance this critical institution.

@Ed G. Mann Ps.D- While it's a pleasant fantasy, kinetically turning these dimwits into eco-friendly mulch isn't practicable. Moreover, I don't want to be facing down such a machine if I need to take to the streets after Hillary or Bernie wins the White House.

I would, however, like to see some of the cool crowd control technologies that I know are out there - like the microwave projector that does no real harm but makes demonstraters feel like their skin is on fire. Frankly, I was surprised that the device wasn't rolled out while Baltimore was burning. Except, of course, Dems from the local to national level wanted it to burn.

@Geoff King- I consider myself Libertarian more than anything else. I find it hard to be optimistic about the odds of any Libertarian ever winning really high office because too many people want something from the government other than the space to succeed or fail on their own.

Fred Ciampi said...

The GOP should change the location of the convention to some out of the way location that protesters will not be able to find easily. Let's say, um, Krakatoa might be a good choice. BOOM!!!!

chef621 said...

Good post and comments. I enjoy my coffee so much more on post days. I will vote for Trump. or anyone else, just to try to keep Hillery out, and then worry about what will happen with Trump in. If Hillary gets in, I will begin to wonder if the antichrist will be a woman.
With such a nice long post, I am assuming that your hand is better. Did St Paddy's day help?

Judi King said...

Just who would a president Trump's court nominees or any other appointed jobs, for that matter, be? He says nothing about policies or who his support team will be other than he'll HIRE good people. What? Who? He says "make America great"....How? Promised jobs? That takes more than rhetoric. His acolytes buy everything he says as something good. And now, it seems to me, that the media is feeling sorry for him and making excuses because he's being protested against. Poor boy. Sure the Chicago riot was a leftist put up job, but he's orchestrating his campaign brilliantly and needs no pity from anyone. He's a master manipulator just as Hitler was.

Dick said...

Great article, thanks and I'm glad you are feeling better. You are feeling better, aren't you???

Rod said...

I don't know about Trump yet, voted for Cruz in primary; but COULD IT BE(?)that if this BS is working for him as well as it is so far... Why provide specifics this early to serve as targets for lies and noise? Trump's issue may be trust after taking office; but not nearly so as with The Lying Witch; she's trustworthy only to maintain an underclass, break the law, and promote what's good for Clintons. There's still a young one coming up.

Cruz is clearly intelligent, knows the game, is conservative & has specific goals but with him I think the issue is electability. Can he defeat The Lying Witch? We'll hopefully see two things pretty soon: Entire ticket & cabinet short-lists; and start cutting up HC. Instant response team is needed to fact-check & counter-point every grandiose thing D's promise, & every lie they tell.

John the Econ said...

Well, to be fair to Hillary, Kerry, and even Obama, the entire "establishment" was completely wrong about the Middle East. They may not have had a clue about what they were doing, but the "experts" they relied upon didn't either.

Not long ago in our former environs which hosted several prominent universities in the area, Mrs Econ & I used to attend an annual lecture series each winter called "Great Decisions" hosted by the local foreign affairs club. These lectures were by people who you usually didn't know by name unless you were in the trade, but were eminently respected in their fields. These were the people that Presidents and senators literally had on speed-dial for advice on specialized and regional issues.

And of course being mostly from post-modern academia, most of these people had a decidedly left-of-center bent to their world view. That didn't mean that they were not well versed in their knowledge of topics; it just meant that where the future was concerned, their predictive tendencies were clearly predisposed towards the hopes of the left.

Interestingly, we attended several such lectures literally on the eve of the "Arab Spring". All of these experts were ecstatic about what was going on, and honestly believed that we were on the eve of a grand democratic awakening that would sweep the old authoritarian orders away to be replaced by wonderful new fully participatory secual societies. (Kinda like a Middle East Harmonic Convergence) Oh, and we were also repeatedly assured by the experts that the "Muslim Brotherhood" wasn't really caliphate minded, but was actually just a kind of Islamic ecumenical roundtable that just wanted to make sure that the interests of all Muslims were represented in this new, wonderful and supposedly free order.

At the time, I didn't buy it. But the liberals ate this stuff up. It was exactly what they wanted to hear and believe.

The eye-opener to all of this was how so many highly educated "experts" got something so awfully wrong, and how those of us with little formal education in the matter saw it for what it was. It's also a great example of why top-down command societies like the kind Obama, Clinton, Sanders, and even Trump want to build are doomed before they start. I don't think any of us wish to live under the tyranny of the experts.

chef621 said...

"If you do not take an interest in the affairs of your government, then you are doomed to live under the rule of fools." – Plato

Like Barak Insane Obama?

Uncle Dirt said...

Good posts today, Doc! The expression on Trump's face in the first panel is eerily Lucy-esque.
Your list of protesters contained the usual suspects, as usual.

CenTexTim said...

@John the Econ - the saddest part of your experience with the optimistic "experts" is that they didn't learn from their mistakes. For example, hillary is braying about how successful her stint as SecState was, in part because Qaddafi was overthrown. She conveniently overlooks how that led to the rise of ISIS and al-Qaeda affiliates in Libya, and the subsequent deaths of four Americans.

Clinton: “We didn’t lose a single person” in Libya

Shelly said...

I got a telemarketing call this morning from the Republican National Committee. I let the poor schmuck read his script thanking me profusely for my past support and ending with "can you pledge $50?" I began by saying I hope this call was being recorded and then absolutely laid into the RNC with both barrels, enumerating all the reasons why I felt betrayed by them, including their crusade against Ted Cruz and laying full blame on them for the rise of the idiot Trump. I ended with emphatically stating not only would I not pledge $50, but would never again in the future contribute one red cent. I doubt it will reach Mr. Preibus, but I really wish it would And I felt so much better.

NVRick said...

Regarding cindy sheehan: a bus ticket to Crawford TX is a lot cheaper than plane fare to Hawaii.

REM1875 said...

Doc your analysis of vince foster affair and the ron brown incident are excellent right down to the bullet hole in the back of ron brown's empty noggin.

REM1875 said...

try crawford Texas in the summer and you will do anything ya can to get to Hawaii including swim.
Odd though isn't it that we haven't really heard from her for over 7 years?

@ Shelly
When I found out the rnc spent more money attacking other republicans (conservative of course) than demonRats decades ago they received their last shekel from me.
So good job- both barrels!

John the Econ said...

@CenTexTim, and sometimes what the "experts" say doesn't matter anyway when ideologically-driven leaders reject their expertise anyway:

Gates: Obama Went Against ‘Entire National Security Team’ on Egypt Coup

"Former Secretary of Defense Robert Gates told Fox News that President Barack Obama ignored the advice of his “entire national security team” during the Egyptian coup in 2011 that ousted Hosni Mubarak, the country’s former president... Gates, who headed the Pentagon during the Egyptian coup, lamented that, while he and the rest of the president’s national security experts advised Obama to handle the situation in Egypt cautiously, the president chose to listen to three junior officials instead and called for Mubarak’s immediate ouster."

The three junior officials who told the President exactly what he wanted to hear.

John the Econ said...

"The former Pentagon chief also described how the analysis of the three “backbenchers” was based on lofty idealism rather than facts on the ground.

“One of them [said], ‘Mr. President, you got to be on the right side of history,’” Gates explained before adding with a smile, “And I would be sitting there at the table and I would be saying, ‘Yeah, if we could just figure that out, we’d be a long way ahead.’”"